Open our hearts and fill up the emptiness
With nothing to stop us
Is it not worth the risk?
...these are the moments, these are the times
Let's make the best out of our lives
--"Our Lives," The Calling
"Summer's Dating Service: Planning Dates for Ex-boyfriends and Their New Boyfriends Since Yesterday, Summer speaking, how may I help you?" Summer smiled as she started her car.
"Summer?"
"Cohen?" Summer had a mild heart attack as it occurred to her that she had read the caller-ID wrong. When she heard the plaintive wail of a skinny white guy and a guitar in the background, though, she shook her head. "Cohen."
"Oh, sorry, I thought for a minute you were trying to be witty, so I obviously had the wrong number. Summer, listen, I need your help."
"Well, that sounds familiar. Listen, it's dating, okay? You're not trying to foster good relations between warring countries. It's just, like, dinner and making out. Why is that so hard?"
Seth sighed. "Summer, I'm serious. I need to talk to you." Seth glanced around quickly. "Privately," he whispered.
"Why are you whispering?"
"I don't know," he whispered, then thought about it. His voice returned to its regular volume. "I just am. Listen, can you meet me at your house in, like, thirty minutes?"
"Fine, but be warned. I've been shopping all day. There will be trying on of shoes."
Seth rolled his eyes. "You know, sugar, I'm so desperate that sounds downright pleasant. See you in thirty."
Summer clicked her phone closed as she pulled out of the parking deck. Now what?
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Seth was waiting outside in the driveway when Summer got home. She didn't even stop to wonder how long he had been there. She unloaded three of her four bags on him, and he followed her upstairs to her room. He dropped the bags on her bed, and she sat down and began unpacking boxes.
Seth, however, wandered around the room, discreetly opening drawers and looking in cabinets as Summer checked over her new acquisitions. He slammed a door shut suddenly as she looked up at him.
"Seth, what the hell are you doing?"
"What? Oh, um, nothing. Sorry."
"Are you looking for something?"
"What?" Seth replied guiltily. "No, I just…" he trailed off as his cheeks flushed.
"What" Summer repeated, trying on a pair of lavender Dolce & Gabbana heels.
"Do you think it's possible to literally die of embarrassment?"
Summer looked up at him. "You never, ever make sense. What are you talking about?"
Seth swallowed. "I am about to ask you something, and there is a very serious possibility that I might die from embarrassment. Seriously. I can feel my pulse quickening."
"What could be that embarrassing? Just ask, Seth. It cannot possibly be worse than telling me you're now in a gay relationship with your best friend, who is also your sort-of brother. God."
Seth wrinkled his nose. "How do you do that?"
"Do what?"
"Say things in a way that makes them sound so incredibly uncomplicated and kinda gross?"
Summer shrugs. "It's a gift. Stop avoiding the subject at hand."
Seth took a deep breath and spoke quickly. "Okay, remember that time last winter when you were really pissed at your dad because he decided to take your step-mom skiing over Christmas and didn't invite you and you decided to order hundreds of dollars worth of porn with his credit card to see if he'd notice, and we really ended up only buying one, and he never noticed anyway, and out of morbid curiosity we watched it together and it was really uncomfortable and slightly gross and we didn't have sex for, like, a week afterwards because it was just wrong?"
Summer blinked. "Yeeeah?"
Seth winced. "Doyoustillhaveit?"
"What? Why? Ew, no, Cohen. That was gross and wrong and not of this earth. I got rid of it. Why? Ew. Why?"
The red crept to the top of Seth's ears, and his eyes were still closed. "No reason," he squeaked. He opened his eyes and headed for the door. "Well, this has been just loads of fun, but I've got to go now, got a big date to get ready for, thanks for, um, nothing, I'll see you later." He almost made it out the door, but Summer blocked him.
"Cohen. Why do you want that tape?"
"Summer," Seth pleaded, but she backed him back into the room.
"Cohen," she warned, and he knew that the only way he was getting out of that room alive was to level with her.
"Summer, I have a date with Ryan tonight. And, after the date, there will be kissing, like there has been for the past two weeks. And, eventually, The Kissing is going to become The Groping, which is going to lead to The Moaning and The Gasping, and then there will be The Sex, and if you think our first experience with The Sex was bad, oh, honey. I have a feeling it can, and will, be much, much worse, because I know nothing about The Sex with boys. Of any variety, specifically the variety that has had lots of The Sex with girls." Seth lowered his head. "I just thought, maybe…"
Summer sat down beside Seth and put her hand on his shoulder. "Seth. Don't you think you might be rushing this just a little?"
"Summer, we had sex on practically our first date."
"True." Summer thought for a moment. "So, basically, you're worried that you and Ryan are going to have sex tonight and you're going to suck. Or, maybe, not suck. Whatever. "
Seth nodded.
"But Ryan's never had sex with a guy either, right? So what makes you think he has any idea what he's doing?"
"Summer, he's Ryan" Seth responded, as though that were the only answer anyone would need. When Summer shot him a confused look, he continued. "He's Ryan. He exudes sex. He is sex personified. I'm pretty sure that in a foreign language, 'Ryan' means 'one who knows everything about sex.' Besides, even if he doesn't, just once I would like not to be the completely awkward and inexperienced one."
"Okay, you know what, I can understand that. Really. But I'm telling you right now, a really nasty porn? Not the best way to be learning, Seth."
"Well, do you have a better idea?"
"Yeah, I totally do."
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Ryan unplugged the iron and set it upright on the ironing board. He hung his shirt on the doorknob, and turned to try and find some clean socks when he heard a soft knock at the door.
"Come in," he answered, without looking up.
"Hey, Ryan," a timid voice responded.
Ryan whirled around, surprised. "Hey, Marissa," he said, cautiously.
Marissa smiled a small smile. "Don't worry, I'm unarmed. Are you busy?" she asked, gesturing to the freshly ironed shirt.
"Um, no. I'm just, um, getting ready for, um, a date." Ryan coughed.
"So, you're not coming to the anniversary party?"
"No. We're not coming." Ryan looked down.
"Oh, okay. Well, nevermind then. I was just going to tell you…I just wanted to tell you that you didn't have to worry about me being weird tonight, but since you're not going to be there, then nevermind."
"Thanks."
She shrugged. "I meant what I said. I don't hate you, Ryan. I mean, this is all kinda weird, and I don't really know how to process it all. There's this huge part of me that just wants to go to Boston and start all over, and forget everything here. Does that make sense?"
Ryan gave her a small smile, and she blushed slightly. "Yeah, I guess you of all people would understand, huh?"
"I meant what I said, too. I never meant to hurt you."
"I know, Ryan. I think, most of all, I hurt myself." Her face was serious, but then she smiled again. "Okay, I'm only allowed one major insight a day, and that was so it, so I'm going to go get ready for the party." She turned towards the door, but looked at Ryan once more. "You look different. Happy. It suits you."
Ryan smiled. "It's nice. I'm kinda getting used to it."
"Well, I'll see you around." She waved slightly, then walked out the poolhouse and down the stairs.
Ryan exhaled deeply, and resumed his search.
-----------------------------------------
"Summer, I can't do this."
"Seth, you have one a half hours before your big date. Which means either we do this, or you have the equivalent of fish sex with Ryan. It's your call."
Summer put one hand on her hip, and handed Seth a condom covered banana. "Trust me, this is how I learned, and I didn't hear any complaints." She looked at Seth pointedly.
Seth paused, considering the truth of Summer's statement, but protested again, weakly. "Summer, I cannot do this."
"Seth, if you can't give a banana a blow job, how do you ever hope to give one to Ryan?"
Seth sighed, closed his eyes, and took the banana from Summer. What the hell, right?
"Okay, so the most important thing to remember is to keep your teeth out of the way, because biting is no one's friend. At least not in this case. So, practice."
Seth hesitated, then set the banana down on the counter. "Okay, seriously? Cannot do this. I'm sorry. Just give me some more pointers and let me go get ready for my date."
Summer sighed impatiently. "So, basically, I just wasted a banana. And a condom. Great." She sighed and threw the banana in the trash. "Okay, honestly, despite the fact that I totally would have paid a lot of money to see you with that banana, it's really not a big deal. I mean, it's sex. It's going to be weird and awkward and uncomfortable no matter what you do. Just, like, think about what you like. Chances are Ryan's the same. You're all the same, basically. So I hear." She shrugged. "Just don't stress about it, cos then you'll be a total spazz all night. Just relax." She took a deep breath, and Seth did the same.
"Relax. Right. It's not a big deal. I'm cool."
"Well, I wouldn't go that far." Summer smiled and glanced at the clock above the sink. "Okay, you have, like an hour. You have to leave right now."
She pushed Seth up and out the door. At the doorway, she hugged him quickly.
"What was that for?"
"I don't know. I love you, you big fruit." She slapped his arm playfully. "Now, go get ready for your big date. And don't mess with your hair too much. It looks best when you just leave it alone, okay?'
Seth grinned and kissed Summer quickly on the cheek. "I love you, too."
Seth bounced to the car, and Summer waved after him. "Call me tomorrow!"
Seth waved as he backed out of Summer's driveway.