A/N: Just yesterday I thought I would be done by now. I think there's at least one more chapter to go! Wheee!
Disclaimer: The characters of the story do not belong to moi, except for the ones that aren't well-written.
Sun., Nov. 30
Oh dear. Yesterday after visiting Ron and Hermione, I went right over to Harry's flat again. God, I had barely started knocking on his door, when it bit me! His door bit me!
"Ow!" I cried, rubbing my hand where it hurt. "Stupid door." It stuck its tongue out at me.
"Oh, come on, Harry!" I tried yelling through the door, while keeping myself a safe distance from it. "I just want to talk!"
"Ever thought he might not be home?" remarked the door sarcastically. I glared at it.
"Fine, then," I said curtly (to the door!). "well you tell him I stopped by then."
"Yes, of course," it sneered. Goodness, how rude!
God, all I want to do is talk to Harry! Why does he keep blocking me out like this? I know he's upset, but really! How are we ever going to get past this if he won't let me see him?
Really, all I want to do is talk to him.
11:23 P.M.
GAAAH! My god, can't a woman open her window without being assailed by birds?!
Stupid, great, white...thing, flew right into the room just as I opened the window.
Ooh, it's got a letter. Maybe it's from Tonks, telling me I don't have to speak at the wedding tomorrow! Or maybe it's from Michael, telling me he's finally stuck his head up his ass.
Or maybe it's from Harry.
Damn. It's just a stupid Madam Match letter. Not that I don't want to help them, or anything, but...gosh, you get all excited when the post comes, and it just turns out to be something from work.
Oh well. Maybe it'll be interesting. Maybe I'll answer it, and it will just change that person's life forever and they'll be ever so grateful to me, and will...oh whatever. I'll just answer the letter.
"Dear Madam Match. I made a big mistake. I lost the girl that I love, to a stupid fight. I was just upset because I thought she never noticed me. But now I would rather have only her friendship, than for her to be mad at me. I'm really sorry for hurting her, and I hope that she will forgive me."
I looked up and the white owl was still here. Like it was waiting for me to write back or something.
"Sorry," I said to the owl, "but they don't see the reply until it comes out in the column." The owl didn't budge however. "What..." Maybe it's stupid, I thought to myself. I decided to ignore it and continue a response.
"Dear –" Oh. He didn't sign a name. Maybe I should make one up for him. I reread the letter more carefully. That was when I realized something – the scenario was very, very familiar.
And then, I looked over at the owl again. Didn't Harry have a white owl? Or, at least he did a long time ago. How long do owls live anyway?
I picked up the letter, and looked over it again, this time concentrating on the handwriting. It may have been my eyes, but it did look a bit like Harry's. I didn't exactly remember what it looked like. It could be his...but also not.
I don't know. Why would he send me this letter, but not want to talk to me at all? Because why else would he not answer the door when I came by?
It seems like everything points to him. Or maybe I'm just willing myself to think this way. Because I still want to talk to him.
I think I'll just take a short nap now. Maybe things will settle over after a bit of rest.
Mon., Dec. 1
Oh god! This morning was such a rush! I think I was supposed to be resting my eyes for a bit, last night, but I fell asleep on my desk and woke up late! It was horrible; there was drool all over the Madam Match letters, and I had lines all over my face from sleeping on the table surface. And I had about two minutes to get ready and arrive at the wedding.
And it didn't really work too well. It took me most of two minutes to peel the papers off my face. And then I had to brush my teeth and my hair and get my dress on and hope I didn't smell or anything because I didn't have time to take a shower. Then I grabbed the gift and Apparated to the church- thingy.
Ten minutes later than I was supposed to be. But oh well. Weddings always start late, don't they?
Yes, well it's been half an hour since I've been here, so I have no idea how long the other people have been waiting, but I am getting very impatient.
Maybe I'll go check on Tonks to see how everything is going.
4: 21 P.M.
I went over to the dressing room, and found Tonks standing in front of the mirror, by herself.
"What are you looking at?" I said, peering into the mirror, too.
"Do you think my hair looks too grandmother-like?"
"Not at all! Keep it!"
"Okay...Do you think the dress has an odd cut?"
"Tonks, you picked that dress out ages ago! You never minded it before..." I narrowed my eyes at her. "This has something more to do with than hair and dresses, doesn't it? Is something wrong, Tonks?"
"No, nothing's wrong! Of course not!" she said defensively. "I'm so happy and I can't wait to get married!"
"Then why is the wedding taking so long to start?"
"Because the minister hasn't arrived yet."
"Oh." I flushed. "Sorry." So much for trying to help.
After sitting in silence for a while, I asked, "Tonks?"
"Mmm?"
"Before this...have you ever worried about...not finding The One?"
"The one what?"
"You know, the one person that you'd spend all your life with? The one person you want to be with forever?"
"Well...no," she said thoughtfully. "I never worried about that. I always figured, whatever happens, happens. You've just gotta see where it goes."
"But isn't there a certain way you want it to go? What if that way doesn't work out and you're sad and alone for the rest of your life?"
"Well if that's how you want it, you can't just sit waiting for it to come to you. You've got to go out there and get it yourself. Take the chance, you know?"
"I guess."
Wow Tonks is so smart. She gives such great advice. Like I'm supposed to be able to do.
"So are you sure there's nothing wrong, then?"
"Well..."
I knew it.
"I'm just a tad bit gloomy over the fact that my family won't be here."
Oh.
"Ohh..." I said sympathetically. Of course. Tonks's parents passed away. "I'm sorry..."
"Oh, no, it's not really a big deal!" She smiled at me. "Come on, now, it's only a little thing! I was surprised you even noticed!"
Hmm. Maybe I am insightful. Tonks always makes me feel better!
So now I'm back at the pew. Just waiting. And waiting some more. And some more –
Is that Harry?
5: 14 P.M.
Gosh, the wedding was just beautiful! The minister showed up right when I noticed Harry.
He caught my eye, and I thought he would come over, but Fred called out to him. I have his letter with me. I'll ask him as soon as I can. But I don't know when that is.
What if that's NEVER?!
Okay, calm down. Back to wedding.
Was very traditional. Got to throw rice at them as they were leaving the church. Hehe. That was fun. Except, well, I heard that that is really dangerous because birds might eat the rice and choke on it. And what if a rice gets stuck in your ear or your eye or your hair or –
This isn't working. I'm on my way to the reception. Maybe I can talk to Harry then.
6: 23 P.M.
Oh my god. I have never been more humiliated in my entire life. Not even the time I fell down every step in the entrance hall at Hogwarts. And that was six years ago. And it really hurt.
But that was then. This is now. And it's even worse because I'm all grown up and I'm not supposed to do stupid things anymore. I'm supposed to be cool and sophisticated! I was waiting so long to grow up and grow out of being embarrassed and –
Ugh. Well anyway, I was in line to give my blessings to the happy couple. Took awhile to get to the front. Everyone was all queued up. Well, when I finally got there, was all cheerful and friendly, and anticipating mingling with guests, as instructed to in Witch Weekly, until Tonks grabs me excitedly and says "So you'll be ready to give your toast soon, then?"
And I just stood there. And gaped. The speech! I absolutely forgot about it! I hadn't even written anything. I couldn't think of anything at all!
And yet I told her and Mr. Lupin, "Oh of course! I really think you'll like it! I – I practiced it real hard."
"Did you?" asked Tonks eagerly.
"Oh – why, yes, of course. Very diligently. I just love public speaking."
Mr. Lupin laughed. "We didn't expect you to work so hard! It's just a short speech."
"Oh – well, I wanted it to be perfect!" My voice was becoming high-pitched from nervousness. "This is a very important day."
And before they could say anything else, I ran off to the loos to write my speech.
Did you know that it's really hard to write on your hand with a quill? And even more, it's painful.
Ugh. Why did I make up all those lies? Now they're expecting some great monologue that I won't be able to present because
I don't have a speech Even if I did, I would probably faint from all the scary, dressed-up people looking at me.
I should have just told them that I can't do it! They'd understand, I they would.
I think I will just tell them now. It's my only choice.
6: 45 P.M.
Oh my god. I did it. I actually did it! I actually gave a speech! And I didn't run off the stage crying, or make a complete fool of myself! I'm not sure people could even tell that I was making it up on the spot! It wasn't that hard. All I had to do was say what I felt.
"...And now," Tonks was saying, as I sat nervously in my seat, trying to wipe away sweaty palms, "my friend Ginny Weasley, would like to say a toast. I'd like you all to know that, if it wasn't for her, I may never have met up with such a wonderful person," she said, smiling and Lupin.
I slowly stood up, and raised my glass to the air. Topics for a speech began running through my head: How did you know Mr. Lupin and Tonks were right for each other? What do you think of their love? What do you think of love in general? What do you think, Ginny?
I took a deep breath and cleared my head. "Here I go," I said softly to myself." I put on a smile. "The day I set up Remus and Tonks, I was very doubtful. How could two people so different get along? One was energetic, loud, boisterous, the other more subdued, laid-back, and...um, quiet." I paused, a little flustered. "Yet I was utterly surprised, their first night out, when you could see the spark between the two. This slowly grew into affection, adoration, and a strong loving bond. Their relationship proves how...spontaneous love is. It could be between two people with little in common, umm..." I searched the room and my eyes landed on Hermione and Ron. "Childhood friends who quarreled constantly! Old lovebirds, school sweethearts, love is so unpredictable!" My gaze caught Harry's. I couldn't read his expression, but I hope it wasn't anger. "And – and even friends, who never seemed to think of each other in the same way at the same time – something – something might just click one day." I swallowed. "So – so you should keep in mind that – love is a strange thing. You might have found the right person – there in front of you the whole time – but you let him go, because you were trying to guess love's plan. But – but instead, you should see where your heart takes you. Or else you might end up losing the one that you would've never guessed you wanted."
Flashbacks of the past couple of months flooded back to me. I remembered how nice Harry had always been to me, yet I always chose Alair or Michael instead. I remembered how I never thought Harry could feel the same way as me. How I dismissed my thoughts of him as the same schoolgirl crush. How he is so mad at me – he must have thought I was ignorant, or knew and just using him, or...I thought of how hurt he must have been, when I called so many of the things we shared "meaningless".
I'm not sure how long I had been silent, but everyone was still looking at me. I blinked back a few tears. "Congratulations to Remus and Tonks, many happy years." I lifted my glass, saw others do the same, then quickly sat back down.
And then various boring things happened and now I am sitting in the ladies' loo, because it is rude to write at a dinner table.
So very queer how there's a window in here. I don't suppose the builders thought of all the perverts that might look in the window as women try to have a wee or powder their faces or –
Is that the top of Harry's head that I see?
A/N: I don't suppose this is a cliffhanger?! Are those flames hurling towards me in the coming distance? Hmm. Well, technically, it isn't a cliffhanger, as you all can probably guess how it ends up.
Disclaimer: The characters of the story do not belong to moi, except for the ones that aren't well-written.
Sun., Nov. 30
Oh dear. Yesterday after visiting Ron and Hermione, I went right over to Harry's flat again. God, I had barely started knocking on his door, when it bit me! His door bit me!
"Ow!" I cried, rubbing my hand where it hurt. "Stupid door." It stuck its tongue out at me.
"Oh, come on, Harry!" I tried yelling through the door, while keeping myself a safe distance from it. "I just want to talk!"
"Ever thought he might not be home?" remarked the door sarcastically. I glared at it.
"Fine, then," I said curtly (to the door!). "well you tell him I stopped by then."
"Yes, of course," it sneered. Goodness, how rude!
God, all I want to do is talk to Harry! Why does he keep blocking me out like this? I know he's upset, but really! How are we ever going to get past this if he won't let me see him?
Really, all I want to do is talk to him.
11:23 P.M.
GAAAH! My god, can't a woman open her window without being assailed by birds?!
Stupid, great, white...thing, flew right into the room just as I opened the window.
Ooh, it's got a letter. Maybe it's from Tonks, telling me I don't have to speak at the wedding tomorrow! Or maybe it's from Michael, telling me he's finally stuck his head up his ass.
Or maybe it's from Harry.
Damn. It's just a stupid Madam Match letter. Not that I don't want to help them, or anything, but...gosh, you get all excited when the post comes, and it just turns out to be something from work.
Oh well. Maybe it'll be interesting. Maybe I'll answer it, and it will just change that person's life forever and they'll be ever so grateful to me, and will...oh whatever. I'll just answer the letter.
"Dear Madam Match. I made a big mistake. I lost the girl that I love, to a stupid fight. I was just upset because I thought she never noticed me. But now I would rather have only her friendship, than for her to be mad at me. I'm really sorry for hurting her, and I hope that she will forgive me."
I looked up and the white owl was still here. Like it was waiting for me to write back or something.
"Sorry," I said to the owl, "but they don't see the reply until it comes out in the column." The owl didn't budge however. "What..." Maybe it's stupid, I thought to myself. I decided to ignore it and continue a response.
"Dear –" Oh. He didn't sign a name. Maybe I should make one up for him. I reread the letter more carefully. That was when I realized something – the scenario was very, very familiar.
And then, I looked over at the owl again. Didn't Harry have a white owl? Or, at least he did a long time ago. How long do owls live anyway?
I picked up the letter, and looked over it again, this time concentrating on the handwriting. It may have been my eyes, but it did look a bit like Harry's. I didn't exactly remember what it looked like. It could be his...but also not.
I don't know. Why would he send me this letter, but not want to talk to me at all? Because why else would he not answer the door when I came by?
It seems like everything points to him. Or maybe I'm just willing myself to think this way. Because I still want to talk to him.
I think I'll just take a short nap now. Maybe things will settle over after a bit of rest.
Mon., Dec. 1
Oh god! This morning was such a rush! I think I was supposed to be resting my eyes for a bit, last night, but I fell asleep on my desk and woke up late! It was horrible; there was drool all over the Madam Match letters, and I had lines all over my face from sleeping on the table surface. And I had about two minutes to get ready and arrive at the wedding.
And it didn't really work too well. It took me most of two minutes to peel the papers off my face. And then I had to brush my teeth and my hair and get my dress on and hope I didn't smell or anything because I didn't have time to take a shower. Then I grabbed the gift and Apparated to the church- thingy.
Ten minutes later than I was supposed to be. But oh well. Weddings always start late, don't they?
Yes, well it's been half an hour since I've been here, so I have no idea how long the other people have been waiting, but I am getting very impatient.
Maybe I'll go check on Tonks to see how everything is going.
4: 21 P.M.
I went over to the dressing room, and found Tonks standing in front of the mirror, by herself.
"What are you looking at?" I said, peering into the mirror, too.
"Do you think my hair looks too grandmother-like?"
"Not at all! Keep it!"
"Okay...Do you think the dress has an odd cut?"
"Tonks, you picked that dress out ages ago! You never minded it before..." I narrowed my eyes at her. "This has something more to do with than hair and dresses, doesn't it? Is something wrong, Tonks?"
"No, nothing's wrong! Of course not!" she said defensively. "I'm so happy and I can't wait to get married!"
"Then why is the wedding taking so long to start?"
"Because the minister hasn't arrived yet."
"Oh." I flushed. "Sorry." So much for trying to help.
After sitting in silence for a while, I asked, "Tonks?"
"Mmm?"
"Before this...have you ever worried about...not finding The One?"
"The one what?"
"You know, the one person that you'd spend all your life with? The one person you want to be with forever?"
"Well...no," she said thoughtfully. "I never worried about that. I always figured, whatever happens, happens. You've just gotta see where it goes."
"But isn't there a certain way you want it to go? What if that way doesn't work out and you're sad and alone for the rest of your life?"
"Well if that's how you want it, you can't just sit waiting for it to come to you. You've got to go out there and get it yourself. Take the chance, you know?"
"I guess."
Wow Tonks is so smart. She gives such great advice. Like I'm supposed to be able to do.
"So are you sure there's nothing wrong, then?"
"Well..."
I knew it.
"I'm just a tad bit gloomy over the fact that my family won't be here."
Oh.
"Ohh..." I said sympathetically. Of course. Tonks's parents passed away. "I'm sorry..."
"Oh, no, it's not really a big deal!" She smiled at me. "Come on, now, it's only a little thing! I was surprised you even noticed!"
Hmm. Maybe I am insightful. Tonks always makes me feel better!
So now I'm back at the pew. Just waiting. And waiting some more. And some more –
Is that Harry?
5: 14 P.M.
Gosh, the wedding was just beautiful! The minister showed up right when I noticed Harry.
He caught my eye, and I thought he would come over, but Fred called out to him. I have his letter with me. I'll ask him as soon as I can. But I don't know when that is.
What if that's NEVER?!
Okay, calm down. Back to wedding.
Was very traditional. Got to throw rice at them as they were leaving the church. Hehe. That was fun. Except, well, I heard that that is really dangerous because birds might eat the rice and choke on it. And what if a rice gets stuck in your ear or your eye or your hair or –
This isn't working. I'm on my way to the reception. Maybe I can talk to Harry then.
6: 23 P.M.
Oh my god. I have never been more humiliated in my entire life. Not even the time I fell down every step in the entrance hall at Hogwarts. And that was six years ago. And it really hurt.
But that was then. This is now. And it's even worse because I'm all grown up and I'm not supposed to do stupid things anymore. I'm supposed to be cool and sophisticated! I was waiting so long to grow up and grow out of being embarrassed and –
Ugh. Well anyway, I was in line to give my blessings to the happy couple. Took awhile to get to the front. Everyone was all queued up. Well, when I finally got there, was all cheerful and friendly, and anticipating mingling with guests, as instructed to in Witch Weekly, until Tonks grabs me excitedly and says "So you'll be ready to give your toast soon, then?"
And I just stood there. And gaped. The speech! I absolutely forgot about it! I hadn't even written anything. I couldn't think of anything at all!
And yet I told her and Mr. Lupin, "Oh of course! I really think you'll like it! I – I practiced it real hard."
"Did you?" asked Tonks eagerly.
"Oh – why, yes, of course. Very diligently. I just love public speaking."
Mr. Lupin laughed. "We didn't expect you to work so hard! It's just a short speech."
"Oh – well, I wanted it to be perfect!" My voice was becoming high-pitched from nervousness. "This is a very important day."
And before they could say anything else, I ran off to the loos to write my speech.
Did you know that it's really hard to write on your hand with a quill? And even more, it's painful.
Ugh. Why did I make up all those lies? Now they're expecting some great monologue that I won't be able to present because
I don't have a speech Even if I did, I would probably faint from all the scary, dressed-up people looking at me.
I should have just told them that I can't do it! They'd understand, I they would.
I think I will just tell them now. It's my only choice.
6: 45 P.M.
Oh my god. I did it. I actually did it! I actually gave a speech! And I didn't run off the stage crying, or make a complete fool of myself! I'm not sure people could even tell that I was making it up on the spot! It wasn't that hard. All I had to do was say what I felt.
"...And now," Tonks was saying, as I sat nervously in my seat, trying to wipe away sweaty palms, "my friend Ginny Weasley, would like to say a toast. I'd like you all to know that, if it wasn't for her, I may never have met up with such a wonderful person," she said, smiling and Lupin.
I slowly stood up, and raised my glass to the air. Topics for a speech began running through my head: How did you know Mr. Lupin and Tonks were right for each other? What do you think of their love? What do you think of love in general? What do you think, Ginny?
I took a deep breath and cleared my head. "Here I go," I said softly to myself." I put on a smile. "The day I set up Remus and Tonks, I was very doubtful. How could two people so different get along? One was energetic, loud, boisterous, the other more subdued, laid-back, and...um, quiet." I paused, a little flustered. "Yet I was utterly surprised, their first night out, when you could see the spark between the two. This slowly grew into affection, adoration, and a strong loving bond. Their relationship proves how...spontaneous love is. It could be between two people with little in common, umm..." I searched the room and my eyes landed on Hermione and Ron. "Childhood friends who quarreled constantly! Old lovebirds, school sweethearts, love is so unpredictable!" My gaze caught Harry's. I couldn't read his expression, but I hope it wasn't anger. "And – and even friends, who never seemed to think of each other in the same way at the same time – something – something might just click one day." I swallowed. "So – so you should keep in mind that – love is a strange thing. You might have found the right person – there in front of you the whole time – but you let him go, because you were trying to guess love's plan. But – but instead, you should see where your heart takes you. Or else you might end up losing the one that you would've never guessed you wanted."
Flashbacks of the past couple of months flooded back to me. I remembered how nice Harry had always been to me, yet I always chose Alair or Michael instead. I remembered how I never thought Harry could feel the same way as me. How I dismissed my thoughts of him as the same schoolgirl crush. How he is so mad at me – he must have thought I was ignorant, or knew and just using him, or...I thought of how hurt he must have been, when I called so many of the things we shared "meaningless".
I'm not sure how long I had been silent, but everyone was still looking at me. I blinked back a few tears. "Congratulations to Remus and Tonks, many happy years." I lifted my glass, saw others do the same, then quickly sat back down.
And then various boring things happened and now I am sitting in the ladies' loo, because it is rude to write at a dinner table.
So very queer how there's a window in here. I don't suppose the builders thought of all the perverts that might look in the window as women try to have a wee or powder their faces or –
Is that the top of Harry's head that I see?
A/N: I don't suppose this is a cliffhanger?! Are those flames hurling towards me in the coming distance? Hmm. Well, technically, it isn't a cliffhanger, as you all can probably guess how it ends up.
Sorry I took so long to update by the way --. I'm a bad person.
Well...I think the next chapter is the last one. So...yay? Nay?