Note: My take on HP slash fics. =) Sorry, but I don't like them...LOTR, go ahead, I don't care, despite how much I love it. Things were already pervy in that story anyway. Just keep in mind, this isn't meant to insult ANYONE's opinions or sexuality. I meant it for my own, as well as my friends', humor. Just thought I'd jazz relationships up a bit.
Disclaimer: Uh, I don't own any of these characters. And by the looks of them in here, I don't wish to. They all belong to J.K. Rowling.
Another?
by Alexandria Cade (aka Bell)
One early morning...
Sirius's hair brushed Remus's cheek gently as he passionately bit his lower lip.
"Oh, Rem..I couldn't imagine spending another day in Azkaban away from you. It would pain me so much.
Remus pulled out a book, The Count of Monte Cristo, and read a hundred pages in five minutes.
"Yes, old chap. But I believe I should get some studying done for the Order," the bookworm replied to his criminal lover who was bound to be caught at any second and hauled back into Azkaban, only for him to escape again and again.
He then pulled out another book, Dark Magic and Where to Find It: Level 43, and began to read the seventeenth chapter.
Meanwhile, in the Gryffindor boys' dormitory...
Ron awoke that morning, hair tussled madly, with a slight hangover feeling.
"So this is what it feels like the morning after..." he said to himself.
Just then, Harry awoke and gently pressed his lips against bare (Giving you tingles, isn't it? They always bring your hopes up in these fics.) Ron's shoulder. He pulled himself up and wrapped
Meanwhile, on the school grounds...
Hagrid fixed Albus a tankard tankard of tea, while the old bearded man magically pulled up his pants.
('Nuff said.)
Meanwhile, in the dungeons...
Severus Snape kindly caressed Dobby's single hair. He flicked the tip of his large ears and sat back, apparently relaxed, in his chair. He continued brewing a Love potion to make Winky and Cho Chang fall madly in love with eachother.
(Really, what's the deal with him and house elves?)
Later that evening, in the Gryffindor boys' dormitory...
Ron entered the dormitory late, at about midnight. He had been studying for his Divination exam the next day, as Hermione (who was secretly sleeping with Parvati Patil) had forced him to.
He heard muffled moans coming from a four-post bed near the back of the dormitory. Moving closer, he recognized the silvery-blond hair of...DRACO MALFOY!
"I SWEAR WE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING, RON!" Harry shouted, waking the others, who were pretending to sleep but were really making love to Remus Lupin (another affair!), Justin Finch-Fletchey, Blaze Zabini (Neville was never really sure if it was a girl or guy), Professor Flitwick, and Roger Davies.
Meanwhile, in Professor McGonagall's office...
Minerva McGonagall and Something Sprout carefully undressed, leaving their clothing scattered upon the ground. Sprout slowly removed her bra and spun her jugs around to arouse McGonagall, who unravelled her long as hell bun, that reached all the way to the Ravenclaw common room.
"Imagine what we can do with that," she commented.
MEANWHILE, in the Gryffindor girls' dormitory...
Hermione climbed out from beneath Parvati's arms and, for some ignorant reason, used the time turner to go back years ago to Lily and James's house.
Lily walked into the master bedroom after taking baby Harry in from an evening stroll.
"Hey my little Jimmy Dean, I fixed a roast beef sandwi--OH MY GOD! LUCIUS! WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO HIM?"
Thanks for reading my...Err..Masterpiece, if that's what you'd call it. ; Please review, as I'm going to see how many flames I can get.