Meet you there
Chapter 12 – Drive myself crazy
Why
didn't I know it
How much I loved you…
Why couldn't I show it
If I had only told you…
When I had the chance
Thinking of you
Made a mistake
When I let you go
I drive myself crazy
Wanting you the way that I do
"Erm…I….you're…" he stammered, unable to form a sentence as he looked around awkwardly.
'Just tell her you idiot!' His mind yelled at him.
"You said I was beautiful…" Hermione said quietly, smiling at him shyly, but looking slightly mischievous as well.
"I know I did, you're bloody gorgeous'
"Did I?" Harry answered stupidly.
'Just tell her you idiot! At least ask her out! Do SOMETHING!'
"Well…erm…maybe I should go…" he said, jumping out of bed, leaving her looking at him strangely, 'You'll regret it if you don't tell her now…'
"Harry this is your dorm" she pointed out, looking a little upset.
'Someone will beat you to it Potter'
Harry nodded, trying to get the voice in his head to shut up, "Oh, right…well um, maybe you should leave then…" he said, rubbing the back of his neck, looking nervous.
'Maybe you should leave? MAYBE YOU SHOULD LEAVE!'
"I don't mean to be rude or anything Hermione I'm just…really…tired"
Hermione looked at him questioningly for a moment, as if trying to see what he was thinking. Harry could've sworn he saw disappointment in her eyes before she sighed and got up herself, "Alright, see you in the morning Harry" she said quietly, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek.
As she closed the door Harry groaned, tentatively touching the spot on his cheek where she'd kissed him.
"Well now you've done it you great git" came the voice in his head once more.
"Oh shut up" he muttered feeling utterly ridiculous that he was actually talking to himself.
'You know I'm right'
"I SAID SHUT UP!" he yelled angrily just as the door opened and Ron came in looking slightly surprised.
"Who you yelling at now?" he asked, and Harry rolled his eyes.
"No one" he muttered darkly and climbed back into bed.
But as it turned out, someone had plans for Harry not to sleep at all tonight.
"Erm…Harry?" Ron poked his head through the scarlet curtains looking slightly nervous about something of which Harry had no idea.
"What is it?"
"I…uh…kind of wanted to ask you something..." Harry simply looked at him, and motioned for him to continue. "It's about Hermione."
Harry sat up straight a little too quickly. "Merlin was I that obvious?"
He cleared his throat unnecessarily and looked at his ginger haired best friend, "What about her?" he tried to say casually, though he knew it must've been dreadfully obvious that he was a bag of nerves inside.
"Well you see…I erm…kind of…" Harry looked at him confused, why did he look so nervous…shouldn't it be him, Harry, to be the nervous one? Unless…he was finally admitting it…oh no.
"You like her don't you" Harry said before he had to hear it, feeling like he could die right there in his bed.
Ron looked a bit shocked that he guessed right but he nodded all the same, his ears turning bright red. Harry knew he'd missed his chance.
"Okay…well, we all already knew that…" he said, and Ron looked at him totally nonplussed as he sank on to Harry's bed.
"You all knew? How could you have known?" he asked, but Harry shook his head
"It was just pretty obvious, but its okay we never told Hermione…" he said, looking away.
"Oh…well what do you think I should do?" Ron said slowly, looking rather apprehensive about talking to him about it.
Harry almost laughed, 'That's rich...asking me" He thought miserably. "You want to know what I think? I think you should leave her alone and let me have her!' His mind screamed at Ron, wishing he could say it out loud.
"Just tell her the truth…see how she feels" came his dull reply. "What? Why on earth would you tell him that!"
Ron looked at him wide eyed, "You honestly think that?" he asked.
Harry shrugged, "Well why not?" he said simply, his mind still shouting at him.
Ron looked immensely relieved as he started to ramble on about how long he'd wanted to tell Hermione, but he'd wanted to see if Harry was okay with it and he'd never had the courage to ask.
'Well I'm definitely NOT okay with it…' Harry sighed as he came to the dreadful conclusion. 'But being the kind-hearted 'hero' everyone considers me to be… I'm going to let you take her away from me'
Harry put his hand through his hair and tried to hide the emotions he knew were showing through his eyes before he looked at Ron, and spoke words that he was baffled were coming out of his mouth, "Well…I think…I think you should do it. I uh…it's fine with me"
Harry gulped down the large lump that was forming in his throat, as Ron had given him a very guy-like one armed hug. He couldn't find one reason why he'd just agreed to let Ron take Hermione away from him… there was no way he'd ever be fine watching Hermione and Ron doing boyfriend-girlfriend type things together.
'Then why didn't you tell her when you had to chance you silly prat?" Harry winced at the thought. That annoying little voice was right; with just a few mumbled words he'd ruined his life.
With a great amount of effort he plastered a smile on his face as Ron backed off.
"It's mean a lot that you're okay with this Harry…thanks" He said, looking very uncomfortable being so emotional.
Harry gave him another entirely forced smile as he watched a grin spread over Ron's face, feeling like he'd swallowed a load of bricks.
"'Night Harry" Ron said happily, practically hopping of his bed.
"Good night Ron" he barely managed without screaming words he long to say to him. He shut his curtains rather violently as he collapsed onto his pillow feeling more miserable than he had for quite a while.
"I've let her go and I'll never get her back…"
"Hey, Harry…"
20 minutes before the end of the last class of the day, Ron edged closer to him so he could whisper in his ear.
"I think I'm going to do it after class"
Harry took one look at him, suddenly having a strong urge to shove him off his chair and knock that goofy grin right off his face.
"Okay" Harry managed in a would-be casual voice, before he turned back to copying down the complicated notes on the board mechanically, not paying any attention at all to what he was writing.
It seemed like it was only minutes later that Professor Mcgonagall was clearing up her desk and telling the class to leave. Harry groaned inwardly as Ron smiled nervously at him. "Wish me luck" he whispered, as Harry worked hard not to glare at him.
Ron walked to the front of the class where Hermione had been chatting with McGonagall, talking to her quietly for a moment. She looked back at Harry to indicate she was going with Ron, and Harry forced a painful smile as he waved her off.
He literally felt like he was going to be sick as he walked past Ron and Hermione going into an empty classroom, Hermione looking very confused.
Practically running down the corridors, Harry headed for his dorm the moment he'd gotten into the tower… awaiting the dreadful news from Ron.
Hermione's eyes widened considerably as she looked at her ginger haired friend, who had just confessed that he'd liked her since third year.
She took a tiny step back from him, unable to hide the shock that was evident on her face, "Really?" she asked almost timidly.
Ron had lost his voice completely and all he could do was nod as he laughed nervously, shuffling his feet as he avoided her eyes.
Hermione suddenly felt rather faint as guilt and anxiety began to cloud her senses. Ron liked her…but she liked Harry…and she'd thought things were complicated before! How on earth was she supposed to get out of this one? "He doesn't have to know that it's Harry…it could be anyone" her mind replied immediately. "Yeah…but…"
"Er…Hermione?" Ron was looking at her meekly, "Can you please say something, I'm dying here."
She looked up at him anxiously and he seemed to know in an instant as his face fell. Uncomfortably, he looked down at his feet.
"So what is it, you already fancy someone?" He muttered miserably to the ground.
Hermione looked at him, pity in her eyes "I'm so sorry Ron…I'm really flattered but…" she trailed off, not sure of what to say as he looked back at her expectantly. "Well…it's just that…I can't help who I fall in love with and…"
"You're in love with someone?" he said incredulously.
Hermione shut her mouth immediately, cursing herself. She hadn't meant to say that.
"Please Mione…PLEASE don't tell me it's Krum" Ron moaned.
Hermione shook her head, "Viktor? Please Ron…" she said finding it funny that he'd think she was actually in love with him.
"Who is it then?" he asked looking quite disappointed.
Hermione blushed slightly, "I can't tell you Ron…it doesn't matter anyways, it would never happen" she said quickly.
"Why wouldn't it ever…oh bloody hell is it Malfoy?" he asked looked disgusted.
Hermione laughed so hard she had to hold on to a desk to stable herself, "Malfoy, Ron?You honestly think I would ever love a slimey git like him?" she replied, tears coming to her eyes she was laughing so much.
Ron looked extrememly relieved, "Thank god for that" he said shakily, but he still wouldn't let it go as Hermione kept quiet.
"Well come on then Hermione! Tell me who this scumbag is!" he said loudly and she looked at him sternly.
"Ron, he's not a scumbag and I'm not going to tell you"
Ron sighed, he knew what it was like when Hermione got mad and he didn't want to deal with that at the moment.
Hermione smiled sadly at him and brought him into a hug.
"I'm really sorry Ron" she said as he hugged her tightly, evidently not wanting to let her go.
"S'okay" he mumbled quietly.
Ron pulled away somewhat reluctantly, "I guess we should go back then" he said, not waiting for her answer as he opened the door and ushered her through.
As they arrived at the fat lady he looked down at her "I hope this won't ruin our friendship or anything Hermione…I just had to tell you" he said quietly and she smiled warmly at him.
"Of course it won't Ron, I'm glad you were honest with me" she said truthfully.
He smiled what seemed like a true smile and leaned down to give her a quick kiss on the cheek, "I just wan't you to be happy" he said softly, and she smiled at how sweet he was being.
"Thanks" she said quietly, suddenly feeling a lump in her throat and not knowing why.
"I'm just…going to take a walk" he said, as Hermione was about to say the password.
"Alright" she replied somewhat sadly, waving as he left down the hall.
Instead of going in right away she watched his lone figure walk down the hall…and suddenly she felt horrible. She'd never exactly 'rejected' someone before and to have it be one of her best friends, she felt like she betrayed him in some way...
Hermione felt tears prick the corner of her eyes and she hurriedly said the password, hoping she could get up the stairs quickly so no one had to see her crying.
Unfortunately as she ran as fast as she could up the stairs, she didn't watch where she was going and soon bumped into someone making her topple backwards.
"Whoa slow down Mione" came a predictably familiar voice as a pair of strong arms wrapped around her waist to keep her from falling down the stairs.
She looked up reluctantly and found that she'd been right as she looked into the shining emerald eyes. For the first time in her life, looking into those beautiful eyes…they made her feel even worse. They reminded her unpleasantly that Ron loved her, but she loved his best friend.
"I'm a horrible person" she thought to herself, looking down again but she wasn't exactly struggling to get away.
"What's wrong?" Harry asked quietly as he saw a few tears slip down her cheek. They were still standing on the stairs, and he was quite unaware that he hadn't let go of her.
"Did Ron tell you?" he asked, dreading the conversation.
She nodded silently, and Harry's throat went tight. "Oh" he said simply, "…well…what did you say?" he asked, not even bothering to hide the anxiousness in his voice.
She looked up at him, tears falling down her face, "I…I don't like him that way so I had to turn him down, but I feel so awful about it" she sobbed, collapsing into his body and crying softly.
Harry felt rather guilty about it, but relief violently swept through him as he hugged her, letting her cry on his shoulder. He rubbed her back soothingly, whispering comforting words in her ear. "It's okay Hermione I'm sure he understand" he said softly.
Ginny, who'd been watching the two from the couch with Dean, walked over quietly. "Maybe you should take her upstairs Harry" she whispered behind Hermione.
"To her room or mine?" he said but immediately regretted it as Ginny smirked.
"Whatever you want" she said, her face filled with laughter.
Harry rolled his eyes at her and lifted Hermione's legs up under his arms, so he could carry her up the stairs.
However as he reached her dormitory, he saw Seamus and Kate snogging on her bed and decided not to disturb them. He almost laughed as he shut the door as quietly as he could, before turning to go to the 6th year boy's dorm.
Harry was rather relieved to see no one else was in there as he shut the door.
"Hermione?" he asked softly as he placed her legs back on the ground.
She looked up at him reluctantly, her eyes red and puffy from crying. He smiled, still thinking she looked absolutely beautiful and sat her down on his bed, kneeling in front of her.
"Are you all right now?" he asked, moving a wispy piece of hair away from her face as he looked at her.
"Not really" she whispered as she shook her head, a few more tears dropping down her cheek.
Harry sighed sadly, it was breaking his heart to see her so upset. Before he could hold himself back, he did what came naturally and gently kissed her tears away.
Hermione took a sharp intake of breath as he did this, not expecting him to be so affectionate towards her and definitely not expecting the feeling she got when he'd kissed her either.
Harry got up to sit down on the bed next to her, wiping a few more tears away from her face with his thumb, trying to smile comfortingly at her.
"Don't cry Mione, Ron didn't want to make you upset he just wanted to tell you how he felt" he said softly.
Hermione simply nodded as more tears fell down her soft cheeks, she knew Ron hadn't meant to make her feel like this, she just couldn't help feeling horrible…she was utterly responsible for hurting him afterall.
Harry moved closer to her and she automatically leaned into his body, gladly letting him comfort her, both of them enjoying the feeling immensely.
A few silent but pleasant minutes later Harry felt himself getting sleepy. Looking down at Hermione, he saw her eyes closed as she slept peacefully in his arms.
He couldn't help the grin from spreading across his face as he watched her resting against him, it just looked and felt so right.
There was a strong urge for him to lie down with her, but he realized it wouldn't be the best thing for Ron to walk in on at the moment, and decided against it. Harry carefully removed Hermione from his arms as he pulled back his sheets, and gently took off her robes and her shoes, placing her head gingerly on his pillow. He pulled the covers back over her sleeping form and kissed her gently on the forehead. "I love you" he whispered, smiling as he stood up.
The moment Harry reached the bottom of the stairs, Ginny had called him over to the couch eagerly. Dean seemed to have disappeared.
"Is she all right?" she asked concerned.
Harry nodded, "Yeah…she just feels bad that she had to 'reject' Ron" he said, silently feeling giddy as he spoke that wonderful fact.
"Oh right, he told her today didn't he?" she asked, searching Harry's face as he nodded.
"Yeah" was all he said, but a small smile graced his face. Ginny smiled at him as if she knew something.
"What are you smiling at?" Harry asked suspiciously.
"You've got to be the happiest guy on earth right now" she said, laughing lightly.
"Why would you say that?" he asked curiously, although he had some idea.
"Hermione doesn't like Ron, she turned him down" Ginny said simply.
"So…" Harry said, playing innocent.
Ginny scoffed, "You like Hermione"
Harry looked at her and smiled, suddenly deciding he needed someone to know, "No I don't…" he started, and she rolled her eyes, "I don't like her Ginny…I think I'm in love with her"
Ginny's smile couldn't possibly have been any bigger as her face lit up and she let out a high pitched squeal of excitement.
Harry laughed as she threw her self at him, hugged him excitedly.
"Oh I'm so pleased for you Harry, you finally realized it! About time!" She practically yelled as she grinned.
Harry looked around at the few curious faces, "Ginny, can you yell that a little louder please I don't think the Slytherins heard you" he said sarcastically.
"Sorry, I couldn't help it!" she said happily as she smiled sheepishly, sitting back down and pulling Harry with her.
"So when did you really notice it?" she asked him.
Harry rolled his eyes. "I feel like I should be wearing pink pyjamas with pigtails in my hair" he said, and she laughed.
"Oh who cares Harry, just tell me!"
Harry sighed in defeat, "Fine! I guess…I finally admitted it to myself the day before we left for school…but if I think about it…I've probably loved her for much longer than that"
Ginny smiled, "Awwwwwww that's so cute" she said in a very typical girl-like voice.
"I knew you would say that" he replied, chuckling.
She smiled warmly at him again, "You know what Harry…" she started, but stopped as she saw the portrait hole open, and Ron came walking in. Harry looked at her sharply, his look warning her not to say anything and she nodded.
"Hey Ron" Harry said trying to sound upbeat but Ron just looked down at him glumly.
"Hi" he replied dully.
"What's up Ron?" Ginny said, as if she didn't know what had happened.
He sighed and sat down on the couch next to the two of them, "I told her" he said looking at Harry and he nodded.
"Yeah, Hermione kind of told me" he said, and Ron shook his head to himself.
"I can't believe she's in love with someone else and she won't even tell us…"
Harry's felt his heart stop for a moment, "What?" he said in almost a whisper.
"Didn't she tell you that?" he asked, and Harry's face contorted in hurt and anger.
Ginny jumped and Ron looked startled as Harry jumped up from his chair. "No, she happened to leave that little piece of information out, actually!" he cried indignantly.
"Oh…well calm down Harry I'm sure she just forgot, why does it matter to you anyway?" Ron said calmly.
"BECAUSE I'M HER FRIEND SHE SHOULD FUCKING TELL ME THESE THINGS!" he roared, not quite sure why he was yelling, but it felt good. He was more hurt than angry, but perhaps this was his way of venting his frustration.
"Harry! There are first years in here can you please watch your language!" A snooty prefect butted in, but backed away as Harry glared at her.
"She's my friend too Harry, don't you think I was a little annoyed!" Ron yelled angrily, and Harry looked at him.
"Ron, you don't l…" he started to say heatedly but Ginny caught him before he could slip up.
"Okay, guys, enough! Both of you need to calm down all right, I'm sure Hermione can explain this later" she said. "And its her business who she likes anyway, she doesn't have to go telling the world!"
Harry and Ron looked at each other and sat down muttering apologies.
A couple minutes of awkward silence later, Ginny spoke up. "Let's just go to dinner, alright?"
The two boys got up simultaneously, not answering her but they followed her out the portrait hole anyway.
The two of them weren't speaking…both of them too busy thinking the exact same pig headed thing.
Who is this guy messing around with MY Hermione?
Hope you liked it…it's also edited of course since I tried to edit the whole story just a bit. Nothing major of course, just the way it was written. Anyway, review if you liked it please!