In Silent Agony
jemi gr
Demeter cried again last night.
I don't know why it gets to me anymore. Demeter cries every nigght. Not like she doesn't have a right to, mind you. Everlating Cat knows I would cry every night too if I'd been hurt like she has. But after awhile, it's assumed that Demeter cried last night. A more impressive statement would be "Demeter didn't cry last night," but that's not going to happen for awhile yet, I fear.
I hate listening to Demeter cry.
When Demeter cries, my world seems to stop. Every sob tugs at my heart like you wouldn't believe. I reach out and put my arm around her in a vain attempt to calm her down, but it doesn't work. Nothing does. Once Demeter starts crying, there's nothing you can do but lay there in silent agaon any wait until she weeps herself to sleep. Sometimes it's only a few minutes. Sometimes it's hours.
Sometimes sometimes I wish that I could just pill her trembling, sobbing form into my arms and kiss her gently and tell her that she doesn't need to cry anymore. That I won't let anyone touch her ever again. That I can giver her all she'll ever need in just our tender embrace. But it won't happened. I know this, and I don't mind it too much.
I'm content to be the loving observer, the watcher in the darkness whose only source of comfort to her is a friendly arm around her shoulder and silent promise to her that I will watch over her, that I will never let her get hurt like that again. Never.
She doesn't deserve it.
When Demeter cries tonight, I'll put my arm around her as always and wait for the gentle light of morning to creep into the room once more. It's all I can do.