The Wrong Man
By: Caliwood

Disclaimer:
I don't own Resident Evil etc or its characters etc but I do own all the original characters featured in this story. This story is rated R because of vulgar language, violence and whatever else my sick mind can come up with. Please review or I'll die and stop updating.

Chapter 1: Yep...I'm an idiot.

The gunshots and the screams seemed to ring in my ears as I shut my eyes and prayed to God that I would open them again alive and not looking into the light of heaven. My mind raced as sweat and tears blended together as I held myself tight. As I did I thought to myself of all the wonderful things I would miss out on in the world...having children...growing old with somebody that loved me just as much as I loved them. Is it just fate or irony that a man who thrives and researches the paranormal would meet his end by his own life's passion? Or was that a fitting end? How this madness began I might never know. How I even ended up in Raccoon City is a god damn mystery. All I know is that the day I wound up in this town full of crazies on September 20th is a day I'll never forget. I suppose I started writing this because I thought my experience might make a good bestseller...now that I know I probably won't make it I'm just trying to keep a record in the hopes that maybe someday somebody will find this and know the truth about what happened here. I doubt anybody really cares about what happened to a simple tabloid reporter who got himself mixed up in so much shit he's practically drowning in it...still. Ah, what the hell....I guess I'll start from the beginning...

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It was 6 o'clock on a Sunday morning when I got the call. I was just sleeping like any regular Joe would do in my sleazy and absolutely filthy little 3 room apartment. It's amazing what you can get on a journalist salary huh? Anyway I'm there, I'm alone as usual...not like I have anything that would really attract the opposite sex, "Ooh what a nice rat infested hell-hole you got here!" they'd probably say. So the phone rings and also as usual I intend on not answering it. Little did I know that the caller would just keep CALLING and CALLING for what seemed like an hour before he wore down my resistance and I answered the god damn phone.

"Good morning Mr. Vanderkrypt, hope I didn't wake you..."

"You slimy old bastard, what the hell do you want its 6 AM for Christ sake?!" I almost shouted into the phone. Come to think of it I would have shouted had I not been way too hung over from last nights "celebration" to tolerate noise of that level.

"Well actually it's half past now since it took so long for you to answer your phone-"

"Just shut up and tell me what the hell you want," I groaned into the phone recognizing the smug New Yorker tone on the other end. I'll tell you I was so close to pulling the pistol out of my bedside drawer and shooting myself at that point it's not even funny.

"Mr. Vanderkrypt this is the editor of 'Weird & Strange' magazine-"

"Yeah I know who you are Mr. Edwards. As soon as I answered the phone I knew I was talking to a really big prick...and the only really big prick I know who would be such an asshole as to call me this early is you so I guess it's just a process of elimination," I had said rather smugly but still rather groggily into the phone. Truth be told if you had been there to see my face when I said those words you would have seen a vague smile on a man that smelled of cheap scotch and brandy. Hell even hung over I can still dish out really good lines.

"Well that's no way to talk to your future employer Mr. Vanderkrypt..."

"How did you know I was free-lance?" I was suddenly more awake in that instant as I was now standing up right with the phone to my ear in my right hand and my left wiping the sweat and disbelief from my face.

"Oh just about everybody heard about what happened to you down at Time magazine after you submitted that article about man-eating monsters-"

"Hey I wasn't fired ok? I quit that stupid job and don't let anyone else tell you the wiser!" I shouted into the phone before shutting my eyes and clutching my head in pain as the hangover really kicked in and my mind felt like it was about to explode. Truth be told I was lying out of my ass. I didn't quit...I really did get fired. Mostly because they thought my article was complete bullshit and they were counting on me their "top journalist" to come up with something spectacular for their next issue. I didn't make up the story about man-eating monsters though...I have or I guess I should say "had" a contact down in Raccoon City who sent me the scoop first hand. Reports of families being attacked and eaten and a half- eaten hiker found in the woods. Not like I was believed so they kicked me out on my ass and now I was free-lance. I was brought back to reality by the laughing on the other end of the phone.

"Sure you were Mr. Vanderkrypt...sure you were. Regardless we here at Weird & Strange magazine do print that kind of material and we'd like to pick up your story from you and hire you for a 'special assignment' as you are a very talented journalist," I tell you the man was buttering me up so much at that point you could of stuck me in a toaster and had yourself a nice breakfast slice. Of course being out of work I was desperate...normally I wouldn't even think of taking a job from some sleazy tabloid but frankly I needed to repair the damage on my reputation. Plus I kind of had an interest in the paranormal.

"...Oh alright...sign me up," I very reluctantly answered looking to my bedside clock and down at my liquor stained undershirt and boxers. It was official...I really needed the job and a shower too because although I can't remember precisely I can imagine I must have smelt like something had crawled in me and died.

"Excellent, I want you down here at my office at 8 o'clock sharp...understand?" I groaned knowing how far his office was from my place and me without a car or clean clothes it was going to be a VERY long day.

"Yeah I understand...chief..." I muttered before I heard the comforting click of a conversation ending a long dial tone. It's a sound I had known and frankly still know very well having ended a marriage a few weeks prior to my firing. Sure I tried to call her and work things out, tried to understand why she was leaving me for some blonde idiot from the downtown testosterone farm I mean the local gym. I'm sure now you can understand why my place is a wreck along with me...she did leave me poor and with barely anything. Both spouses get half of everything huh? Hah, I wish. I'll tell you I had some nice things that were mine long before I met that bitch that I'm never going to see again. Don't have enough money to afford a lawyer to complain about it though.

By this time I had already gotten up and waddled over to my very poorly kept bathroom and began shaving the "bachelor's stubble" from my face. After all I was going to need to look my best for the next prick that was going to be running my life for the next little while. Sorry if I sound bitter or cynical but that's just the kind of guy I am which was further founded on later that day.

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"It's about time you got here Mr. Vanderkrypt," Mr. Edwards had called out to me as I entered the staff meeting room of the esteemed "Weird & Strange" magazine. Truth be told walking in there it seemed most of the staff matched the name to a tee. All accept for Mr. Edwards who was one of the only people in the room you wouldn't see at a Star Trek convention and the hot blonde sitting to his left. I took a "comfortable" seat to his right.

"What the hell are you talking about?" I exclaimed as I looked down at my watch to check the time.

"You're a minute and a half late,"

"Blow me" I sighed ready to lift the one finger that mattered and show his arrogant ass the business end of my shoe. However Mr. Edwards just smiled and the hot blonde next to him looked down on me in distaste. I suppose I put on too much aftershave.

"You're lucky you're such a talented man or you'd be kissing the pavement right about now Mr. Vanderkrypt,"

"Cut the bullshit. I faxed you my article now what's this 'special assignment' of yours?" I exclaimed as I rolled back my eyes and failed to realize just how lucky I was to be back to work so soon.

"Well Mr. Vanderkrypt...or would you prefer Gunther?"

"My friends call me Gunn so yeah, you can call me Gunther," I muttered. Personally I hated the formalities and I didn't really like my name at all. I admit "Vanderkrypt" sounds cool but people always assume you're a weirdo after a name that seems like it came straight out of some Goth chick's poetry book.

"Well Gunther, we've all heard about the rumors going around in Raccoon City about these man-eating monsters roaming around. Pretty soon the government is going to step in as I've caught word that if things escalate they'll quarantine the town-"

"Oh yeah? And how did you catch word of this?"

"Oh let's just say I have friends in high places...unlike you Gunther"

"Ouch that really hurt" I sighed containing the urge to "release the beast" on the back of his head with my chair. Still I managed to keep some self control which is amazing for a guy like me as you can tell by now.

"Anyway the point of all this is that I want a reporter to go into Raccoon City and a get a first hand exclusive with the townsfolk and police chief Brian Irons before it's too late. I also want that someone to stay behind and record the events first hand as it unfolds..."

"Isn't that a little dangerous?" The hot blonde in the little business suit with the skirt that cut off just in the right place asked. Sorry I get easily distracted. At the time though I thought she pretty much stated the obvious and gave me a pleasant feeling I hadn't felt in years...after all I was married for quite some time.

"That's why I wanted to bring in the best. That'd be you Gunther,"

"Please hold your applause" I smiled smugly as I took a bow in front of everyone else with an arrogant motion that directly parodied my own employer that put a smirk on many of their faces.

"I imagine you'll want to be paid extra for the danger of risking your own life in this matter so I brought this..." Mr. Edwards paused as he pulled out a silver briefcase from under the table and opened it up to reveal quite a large sum of money. I'll tell you it was like a scene out of a movie. Though I hated the bastard and I didn't really feel like putting myself in jeopardy this was a once in a lifetime opportunity. With that amount of money which looked to be in the thousands I'd be able to get my life back on track.

"This money is for Gunther and anyone else that wishes to join him on this assignment".

Although the money was pleasing looking around at that moment I could tell the other reporters and paranormal nerds were WAY too scared for that kind of field work. All accept one...

"Sir, I'd like to go..." a timid voice echoed out in the silence as everyone including me turned to face the stranger in the doorway with the coffee pot.

"Dennis we've been over this, you're an intern not a reporter...you make the coffee for gods sake-"

"But sir I want to be a reporter and this assignment could really be the break I need. You don't even have to pay me I just want the chance to prove myself!" He seemed to plead like a dog for a bone right then. This kid Dennis looked to be about 18...a small skinny white boy with messy light brown hair and blue eyes masked by black framed and taped up glasses. He reminded me of me at that age...a dorkier, polyester wearing me who was obviously a virgin but me nonetheless.

"Dennis this is dangerous and your uncle would-"

"PLEASE SIR!" He pleaded again. This Dennis kid wanted the job more then I did and he wasn't even going to get paid. But I suppose experience like this is once in a lifetime as I had discovered later on. Reluctantly Mr. Edwards nodded and junior seemed to jump for joy unfortunately while holding the coffee pot. I tell you even I winced in pain just watching it scald his shirt while holding back a laugh.

"Anyone else?" Mr. Edwards called out as everyone else looked down in shame of their own cowardice. However the hot blonde raised her hand in the silence (thank god).

"I'll go Mr. Edwards" She seemed to coo and for a second our eyes met and she turned away in disgust like I was some sort of pervert. I wanted to say, "Don't flatter yourself" but I figured I'd save myself the kick in the groin.

"Ms. Davies you're one of my best reporters, I wouldn't want you to lose you on this assignment-"

"Well it's great to know you care so much about me" I exclaimed rolling my eyes again and leaning back in the fake leather chair that was chaffing my back.

"Mr. Edwards I really want to-"

"Karen if I lose you this whole magazine is going to go to pieces. I refuse to let you go and that's final" He stated quite sternly putting his fist down on the table as Ms. Hot-blonde Davies gave him a sour look and then rolled her eyes. At that moment I REALLY wanted to strangle Mr. Edwards. Now instead of having something to rest my eyes on I was going to be left alone with the coffee boy for this "high risk" assignment. Which really was just dandy because if I got into trouble I could count on him to make me a double tall mocha latte.

"So when do we leave?" I asked figuring it was probably soon judging by how early he called the damn meeting.

"You're to leave tomorrow at 9 AM sharp. I've booked bus tickets for you and your accompaniment..." He explained in a monotone voice as he handed me two bus tickets. Talk about a cheap skate.

"What you couldn't spring for a company car or a plane ticket?" I asked with a raised eyebrow knowing the next few days would be hell since it was a 3 day bus ride to Raccoon and not only do I HATE buses but I had to ride with nerd boy Dennis the whole time.

"Just get out Gunther."

With that the meeting ended. Mr. Edwards gave me half my payment telling me I'd get the other half when the job was done. Right then and there I made an easy 5 grand. I was getting kind of nervous at the danger level that would require being paid 10 grand in total. Had I been a smart man I probably would have thought it through more carefully but I didn't which I now SORELY regret more then you could ever know. But little did I know any of this as I handed Dennis his bus ticket and walked out of Weird & Strange magazine headquarters. Yep...I'm an idiot.

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Closing Comments:
Well that's the end of the first chapter. What will happen to our pseudo anti-hero and big time grouch Gunther? How does he end up in a situation that he thinks will cost him his life in Raccoon? Will he meet up with some friendly faces and copyrighted characters along the way? And will he kill Dennis on the bus ride over? Oh and yes, I promise that though the first few chapters will be a little action-less the zombie killing, drama/tragedy stuff will be coming soon. Right now I just have to set up Gunn accordingly. I'll be updating quite frequently so don't expect a huge gap in between chapters unless people stop reviewing or I get writers block (fat chance). Remember to review if you want there to be a next time!