Ok sorry it's been a while. I've been writing an FFX-2 fic, Omega Mage. I like the idea of Seymour and so have agreed to do him. I also agree that my writing is not currently humorous enough and dark sarcastic humor isn't working. Oh, and this is now script form

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-Guadosalam-

Tidus: Yuna...what did he say?

Yuna: he...he asked me to marry him!

Tidus: Whatcha gonna say?

Yuna: -turns around, looks at Seymour- You're an ugly -bleep.- That means -bleep- no

All: -gasp-

Seymour: But... but... but... but... but... but... but

Wakka: Are ya you ya gonna ya stop ya saying ya that, ya... brudda?

Yuna: Let's go.

-Party leaves-

Seymour: -all of a sudden goes humpback and starts talking weird- I will have revenge! Come, Igor

Tromell: My name's Tromell

Seymour: . Whatever.

-Thunder Plains-

Yuna: Who is the ominous hunchbacked partially insane person following us?

Lulu: Don't get any ideas Yuna!

Yuna: I only did that once and the guy gave me 300,000 gil for that!

Wakka: Maybe ya it's ya someone ya who ya has ya a ya grudge ya against ya us ya? Brudda?

Auron: I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE -kills Wakka-

-Parade-

Seymour: I'm here to enact a series of cliché villainous plans upon you an continually come back to life!

Kimahri: -poke-

Seymour: That tickles! -Laughs- Stop it!

Kimahri: -poke poke poke poke-

Seymour:- melts into nothingness- Nooo...I'll be back

Kimahri: Kimahri poked Seymour and Seymour died. Kimahri is happy. Kimahri uses no pronouns.

Auron: I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! -kills Kimahri-

Yuna: Isn't this a fic where Seymour kills us all?

Tidus: Perhaps the author is subtly evading the fact that he has no idea what to do with Seymour

Lulu: Since when did the author have writer's block?

Auron: Since when have we been conscious of the fact that this is a fanfiction?

- Everyone's mind goes completely blank-

Rikku: What were we talking about?

-Macalania Woods-

Seymour: I have reappeared to obliterate you!

Yuna: Which ones?

Seymour: Umm...That one! -pushes Rikku off a cliff-

Yuna: WAIT! Macalania doesn't have cliffs.

Seymour: -pushes Rikku off a tree-

Yuna: Much better. Wait...you just killed Rikku

Tidus: Yuna it's my turn to be hero person. Wait until FFX-2 to make bold speeches and swear revenge.

Yuna: I don't do that in FFX-2. My dialogue is utter crap.

Tidus: Sorry.

Seymour: -ahem-

Auron: -destroys Seymour with incredibly powerful blast of magic-

Lulu: Wait...you don't have incredibly powerful blasts of magic.

Auron: -shrug-

Seymour: I'll be back later -performs thrillingly good exit scene-

-Al Bhed Home-

Rikku: Everyone is dying!

Yuna: Wait...you died 14 lines of text/spacing ago!

-Rikku dissappears-

-Seymour appears-

Seymour: -pulls out lottery machine- Today's lucky victim is -pulls out little plastic balls- 63-14-8-43!

Lulu: That's me! -shows ticket-

-Lulu is magically surrounded by machina, who kidnap her and take her to their cave where she is forced to watch the filming of every new Teletubbies episode-

Yuna: That's inhumane

-Bevelle-

Seymour: I have messed up the proper plotline to the point where the party should not even be here! I'm so happy!

Tidus: -stands in front of Seymour- How will you kill us now?

Seymour: Please push the red button on this remote

Tidus: Ok! -Pushes- -falls through giant hole in the ground-

Yuna: Cliché. Cliché. Cliché.

Seymour: Go jump off a building

Yuna: Ok! I can fly -jumps- -summons Valefor-

Valefor: What do you want now? Always nag, nag, and nag!

Yuna: Ahhhhhhh -dies-

Auron: What about me?

Seymour: -glances back and forth-

-Auron dies-

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I have never written such mindless crap. Ok I do that a lot. See ya!