What Better Use For Your Millennium Item?

The song "I think I love you" belongs to the Partridge Family. Just know that it's not mine.

A refresher; baka: idiot, inu: dog. Normally I would try not to throw in random Japanese words into an English fic but I think I explained it in here!

Chapter 6

Bakura was being bombarded by puppy-dog eyes on all sides, so he squeezed his eyes shut and hoped for it all to go away. First in his mind- not that that meant anything- was Ryou, who won the prize for best. He wasn't biased, either. Next to Ryou was Yugi, who definitely possessed the biggest eyes. Mokuba was most-watery, hands-down, and to call more attention to that fact he threw in a few extra sniffles.

Not only giving him the most genuine puppy-eyes but licking his hand to boot was Sugar. And then there was Téa. He suspected this was her first time trying the puppy-eyes; she was doing fairly well even if she was a little shaky and he was pretty sure Yugi was giving her whispered instructions. But the tentativeness just added an aspect of more accursed… cu-… cut-… okay, he could say this- cuteness. Blast!

Ishizu's Millennium Necklace chose that convenient moment to…

She recognized the room from other visions that she'd had- the control room of the Kaiba mansion. This had all the security cameras and microphones that linked most rooms of the mansion, so Seto and Mokuba would always have the fullest safety. The control panel for Seto and Mokuba's personal chambers (bedroom, bathroom, etc) was set off to one side.

Yugi, Téa, Ryou, Bakura, and Joey were in there, arguing amongst themselves. As Ishizu watched in interest, Ryou backed up several steps and bumped into a switch.

It was labeled "Two-way microphone".

"Psst! Shadi!" Ishizu hissed. "I need you to do me a favor!"

"What?" Shadi asked.

"A favor! I know you're mad at me," she whispered, "but-"

"What?"

"Stop fooling around!" she said, still trying to keep her voice low. "This is importan-"

"WHAT?"

"Shadi!" she screeched, stamping her foot.

"Wait a second…" Shadi lifted the edge of his turban, exposing his ears. "It slipped. Sorry. What were you saying?"

She debated strangling him, or at least smacking him in the face, but suddenly remembered what happened last time she smacked him in the face. "Um…" she said, completely losing her train of thought. "Oh, right. Er, listen."

"I'm listening," he said impatiently. Why, oh why him?

"There's this control room. There are two guards in it, I think."

"In here? In this mansion?"

"Of course in here," Ishizu said, giving him a patient look. "I'll give you directions in a minute. But I need you to get rid of the two guards."

"What?"

She lifted the edge of the turban again, but he shoved her hand away. "I can hear you perfectly well," he said, scowling. "But I can't believe what you want me to do."

"Well, you don't have to hurt them," she said defensively. "Just, you know. Make sure they're out of my way for a few minutes."

No way would he agree to this. No matter how pretty Ishizu looked. (damn) Or how sweetly she smiled at him. (Ra, why do you hate me?) Or how warm her hands were when she beseechingly lifted his hand and took it in hers. (I wonder how I can get the guards out of her way…)

"You know, Bakura," Ishizu said, sticking her head in the mass of puppy-dog-eyes on various faces. "Seto and Joey are about to kill each other in the Shadow Realm."

"That's good news," Bakura said, perking up slightly, while Mokuba and the rest of the sane ones looked properly horrified.

"No, it's not," she intoned dramatically. "Because then you can't do it."

"What?" he asked, annoyed. "No one deprives me of my fun!"

"So you'll bring them back?" Téa asked eagerly.

Bakura looked from Ryou to Yugi to Mokuba. "Yes," he said, sniffing. "Of my own free will and decision, of course." Ryou clamped his mouth shut, fearing that if he so much as smiled, Bakura would change his mind.

Raising his arms dramatically and mumbling a few Egyptian/random words (Ryou had never seen him do that before; he was probably just trying to be impressive, especially since the words sounded suspiciously like baka priest and inu Wheeler), Bakura created a cloud of swirling black a few feet down the hall, which quickly materialized into Seto and Joey.

They were just in time - Seto had both hands around Joey's neck, while Joey was still trying desperately to tickle him even as his face turned blue. They were both kicking furiously at each other, and the Dark Magician was advancing on them, ready to pry them apart.

The Dark Magician?

"Didn't see that one coming," Ishizu said, surprisingly cheerful.

"Big brother!" Mokuba cried, torn between horror and delight. An interesting combination, Ishizu noted.

Seto abruptly stopped trying to throttle Joey. Joey, on the other hand, took full advantage.

"Joey, stop!" Téa cried.

"Joey, stop," Yugi and Ryou echoed.

"Hehe," Bakura snickered.

"Oh, for crying out loud," the Dark Magician spoke, rolling his eyes. He stuck his staff between the two and used it as a lever to pry them apart. Joey rolled three times down the hall and clambered to his feet next to Yugi. Seto, not wanting to climb up in such an undignified manner, because that would mean he hadn't wanted to be on the floor in the first place, merely assumed a position as if he were sunbathing on the beach. He folded his arms behind his head, crossed his legs, and pretended that that was where he wished to be the whole time.

"You can talk?" Téa asked, wisely addressing her question to the most sane member of the room. It was too bad he was actually a Duel Monster, or maybe he could take her away from her loony friends.

"Yes," he said huffily, annoyed at being in a room with said loony friends. "And now I shall be returning to my home." Catching sight of Yugi, he instantly composed himself. "Good-bye, oh loved one of the Pharaoh my master," he said, bowing, then vanishing in a puff of smoke.

Yugi froze again. Luckily for him, Bakura was there this time.

Whaa-ack

"Ow…" Yugi mumbled.

"Bakura!" Téa said, sounding outraged. "That wasn't very nice!"

"I know," he said, sounding pleased with himself.

"Well, now that we're all together," Ishizu said happily. According to my vision, it's time to break up!

Seto snorted and finally climbed to his feet. He faced them with great dignity. "Get. Out."

"Wave bye-bye to Seto, children," Ishizu said, still beaming.

"Seto!" Mokuba charged after his older brother, Sugar skidding behind. And Ishizu trailed right after them.

Mokuba caught up with Seto before the hallway ended. Seto glanced behind, saw Yugi and co still standing there, and quickly dragged Mokuba down a side hallway to give him a giant hug out of sight. Ishizu and Sugar were the only witnesses.

"How adorable," Ishizu smiled.

"Hey!" Seto snapped, abruptly whirling on her.

"I was talking," Ishizu said, "to Sugar."

Seto growled, but seemed to feel that he'd had enough stress for one day. Gripping Mokuba's hand, he headed down the hall to what she fervently hoped was his private rooms, Ishizu trailing all the way.

"So, uh, where do we go?" Yugi asked uncertainly.

"Out?" Ryou offered.

"Follow me!" Bakura declared, picking a hallway at random and marching down it. None of them budged. "Or I'll send you all to the Shadow Realm," he threatened. They all scurried after. They soon came to a door: "Hmm, this looks important," Bakura said, laughing evilly and tugging at the handle. To his surprise and mild disappointment, it was unlocked, meaning he didn't have to break it down or send it to the Shadow Realm or anything. He went in anyway, to discover a rather boring-looking room. Lots of buttons, though. He wondered what would happen if he pressed anything. Or everything.

"Why isn't this room guarded?" Yugi wondered aloud. "It looks like a control room."

"Well, we can find our way out through here," Téa reasoned. "It must have directions or something."

"Are you crazy?" Joey asked, grinning. "We're in Seto Kaiba's control room! We won't have many opportunities like this!"

"Jo-ey," Ryou said disapprovingly.

Bakura grinned. "For once, I agree with him!"

"We can't stay here," Yugi said firmly.

"Oh, come on, Yug!" Joey pleaded.

"Joey, that's awful!" Téa said.

"I'm staying," Bakura said stubbornly.

"So, you love Joey, right?" Ishizu asked the second they entered the private chambers. Or rather, when Seto and Mokuba entered, Seto tried to close the door but both Sugar and Ishizu slipped through.

The proclamation was so sudden that Seto opened his mouth automatically. A few seconds later, he snapped, "NO!"

"Not a more creative form of denial?" Ishizu pestered. "It's unhealthy, you know."

"I don't lo- l- lo- love Wheeler!" Seto snapped.

"Oh yes you do!" Mokuba insisted, tugging at Seto's hand. "You do you do!"

"Mokuba!" Seto said, aghast. "You promised never to say Joey's name in this house!"

"But I haven't!" Mokuba said proudly. "You just love him, is all."

"I don't," Seto insisted stubbornly.

"Do." Ishizu said plaintively.

"Do!" Mokuba agreed.

"Don't!"

"Do."

"Do!"

"DON'T!"

"Do."

"DOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Fine," Seto snapped. Ishizu idly wondered where the microphone in the room was hidden. "I love that pathetic, obnoxious, annoying, absolutely adorable mutt who calls himself Joey Wheeler!"

At that precise moment, Ishizu knew, Ryou had backed up and flipped the switch in the control room. The argument in there must have ceased abruptly, because the next words she heard coming from their side of the microphone were quite different.

Yugi's voice, sounding startled: "What was that?" Loud laughter was heard coming from Bakura.

Softly, Ryou said, "Uh… oh…"

Joey's voice floated into the room: "Was that for real? Did Seto Kaiba just say he loved me?"

Judging by the shade of purple Seto's face had turned, Ishizu would say this was a giant success! She tried to center in on where the voices were coming from.

Téa's voice sounded next: "Um… I think so…"

As Ishizu grew closer to the microphone, an absolutely horrible noise reminiscent of someone being tortured resounded throughout the room. "I think I love you… so what am I so afraid of?"

"Joey, don't sing," Téa pleaded, trying to sound diplomatic.

"I'm afraid that I'm not sure of, a love there is no cure of," Joey sang, completely off tune.

Ryou, a little louder this time: "Um, guys? I think I…"

"I think I love you! Isn't that what life is made of?" A loud, dreamy sigh was heard from Joey. Ishizu winced, wondering what had possessed him to start singing. But she judged that it was over now. Joey's blissful happiness, however, wasn't. As it should be.

"Kaiba loves me… Seto loves me… Seto Kaiba LOVES me! Seto Kaiba loves ME!"

"How did we hear Kaiba, anyway?" Yugi asked, sounding confused. Ishizu rolled her eyes. But she seemed to have found the microphone; it was hidden in the frame of a painting on the wall.

Ryou responded, and Ishizu could practically hear the blush in his voice. "I kinda bumped into this switch. It's a microphone leading from Kaiba's room to here." At this proclamation, Joey let out a whoop.

Then there was momentary silence, and Ishizu was willing to guess that someone was leaning over to read the fine print above the switch. Sure enough, Yugi's concerned voice: "Ryou, this is labeled 'Two-Way Microphone'."

Now there was an even longer silence, punctuated only by a small 'eep', likely coming from Joey. Ishizu leaned right up to the microphone and yelled into it cheerfully, "HIIII, JOEY!" When she heard loud banging and clatters at the other end, she pulled back and looked at it quizzically. "Huh. Fancy that." Then she turned to look at Seto: "Uh-oh," she spoke into the microphone again. "You'd better get down here, guys. I think Seto's about to faint."

"I am not about to faint!" Seto said, forgetting his humiliation in his indignation. Ishizu simply shrugged.

"Still, I think they'd better come down here," she said, smiling evilly. "You have a few things to discuss."

Maybe he was about to faint, after all.

Notes: I'll explain the method behind the madness of the song next chapter. I know, it's like 'What? She's going to offer an explanation for her psychosis?'

Next chapter: Joey is petrified to talk to Seto, but luckily he has some good friends who will drag him around the Kaiba mansion to find Seto. Meanwhile, Seto is desperate to escape the room, which someone… coughcough… seems to have locked. Also, we'll see where Yami ran off to!