What Better Use For Your Millennium Item?

Chapter 10

Yami gritted his teeth. This was an evil joke played on him by the Gods. They must resent the fact that they were plastered onto little bits of paper and ordered around in a Duel like… like… like… trained dogs.

The sky cracked with thunder ominously. Yami cringed, the people of Domino looked up in confusion since it was a perfectly sunny day, weathermen blamed it on conflicting air currents, and several Trekkies proclaimed that the aliens had come.

"Sorry," Yami muttered. He didn't sound very sorry, but apparently the Gods took satisfaction in knowing that they could burn him to a crisp anytime they chose. (Personally, he was rather hoping for that right about now. When he hit downtown Domino, the weird looks he was getting multiplied. Getting stuck by lightning was preferable)

Where was Ryou? Was he back at his house? Yami had just decided to go there when he heard hysterical laughter coming from his right. He jerked around, ready to send the offender straight to the Shadow Realm and bugger responsibility, when he noticed that the teenagers weren't laughing at him.

"COME BACK HERE, YUGI!" A very familiar voice screeched.

OH, SHIT.

Yami watched as a small multi-colored blur shot out from the crowd. Maybe Yugi should try out for this 'track' he mentioned. When his sanity was at stake, he sure could run fast. Right behind his hikari was Weevil 'Underpants', moving just as fast! Yami stared open-mouthed at Weevil's speed until he noticed that the little bug had strapped those wheel-things to his feet!

Yugi seemed to realize that he was running into a dead-end alley- or perhaps he was pushing Weevil's maneuverability- and wheeled around. Weevil made a desperate grab, thankfully missed, and went careening into a pile of various objects that included a trashcan, a dog, and a wall. But he was like a cockroach: impossible to kill.

"RUN YUGI HE WON'T BE DOWN LONG!"

Yugi sorted this out and charged at Yami, seemingly thinking his darker half would protect him. Yami felt a surge of warmth and pride before he realized that there was no time to be warm or proud; WEEVIL WAS ON THE LOOSE.

"Should we go to the Game Shop?" Yugi asked breathlessly, grabbing for Yami's hand. The one with the Cheese in it.

"Yes!" Yami said, hastily shoving his left hand over. They started running, but Yami soon discovered it was very awkward to move like this. However, since the only other options were to let go of Yugi's hand (never! It was soft and warm and slightly damp and small and sweet and) or to run backwards (but that would not only be hard, he'd have to look at Weevil, who had resumed the chase), he kept on sprinting with one hand twisted over to clutch onto his hikari.

He and Yugi charged into the Game Shop and Yami turned hastily, slamming the door closed and locking it twice. "There's only one way out of this!" he said breathlessly, peering out the window. Weevil was closing in.

"What?" Yugi asked, his eyes wide.

"Uh…" Yami carefully avoided looking at his hikari's innocent face, feeling a strong stab of guilt. "Here, put these on." He held out the Cheese, still not looking anywhere near Yugi.

He felt Yugi's incredulous stare. "Yaaaami? What is that?"

"Cheese."

"Cheese?"

"If you put it on, Weevil won't chase you anymore," Yami promised, deciding to just shut his eyes.

There was a long pause, during which Weevil hit the door so loudly that Yami presumed he'd just flown into it. The knob rattled menacingly.

"I won't let you win!" Weevil screeched from the other side.

"Win?" Yugi questioned. "Is this a game?"

"Uuhhh…" Saying 'yes' would be simpler, but he had a vague recollection of seeing something on TV about a girl getting very angry when a guy used her to win a game. "Y…eeee…sss…"

"Okay," Yugi said, his voice full of relief. "I get it now." Yami's eyes opened as Yugi continued doubtfully: "I'll try and put the… stuff on, but I think it might be hard since the handcuffs go on my hands and I need my hands to fasten it…"

Yami watched him struggling, feeling distinctly uncomfortable and silly and useless. Abruptly, his own hands shot up and fastened the handcuffs around Yugi's slim wrists.

"Come on," he said, blushing bright red, putting his hand gently on Yugi's arm and guiding him toward the door. Weevil's frantic screeching had died away, but his voice was still audible. He seemed to be chatting politely with a new presence, but Yami didn't stop to think things through.

"I WIN!" he bellowed, throwing the door open.

Weevil merely looked grumpy, but Grandpa looked utterly shocked and mildly amused. His eyes traveled from a bright-red and sweaty Yami to a frightened Yugi with his hands cuffed in front of him to the rest of the Cheese lying carelessly on the kitchen floor, where Yami had left them after deciding (hoping/praying/seething) that Weevil wouldn't care.

"I was planning on going grocery shopping anyway," he said, backing up. "I'll take my time and you boys have fun."

"Wait-" Yugi started to protest, but Grandpa was already down the stairs. Weevil saluted Yami, winked, said "Yeah, you boys have fun," looked like he was about to ask if he could watch, and Yami slammed the door.

"What now?" Yugi asked, squirming slightly.

"I'll… uuh… unlock you," Yami offered. The very unreasonable thought that flashed through his mind was that he didn't really want to. He took a glance at Yugi and realized maybe it wasn't that unreasonable.

Yugi suddenly began convulsively coughing. Uh-oh. Uh-oh-uh-oh-uh-oh. Yugi hadn't caught the tail end of that through the mindlink, had he?

"I'm sorry!" Yami quickly said. "I'm sorry for loving you and wanting you and needing you and loving you and-"

Well, even if Yugi hadn't sensed through the mindlink, there was no way he could avoid the obvious now.

"Oh," his hikari squeaked.

"Yeah…" Yami said lamely. "I'm sorry…"

"Um, don't be?" Yugi offered, sounding more like it was a question than anything else.

This wasn't going anywhere. Yami gave a deep, deep sigh and sat down. On the floor.

Yugi slowly sat down next to him. Both of them stared at the ground; there was a mosquito crawling around. As they watched, a second mosquito flew up and landed on the back of the first. After a few seconds, it became unmistakable that they were-

"Oh, for the love of Ra," Yami said angrily, standing up in a hurry. "Even a couple of insects have a better sex life than I do!"

"Well, maybe if you weren't so… sexually constipated," Ishizu muttered.

"Aaaak!" Yugi cried, falling over backwards. "Where did you come from?"

Ishizu gave a deep, meditative sigh. "Well, if no one's explained it to you, Yugi, I suppose I'll have to. You see, there's a very special thing a man and woman can do together to make babies, which turn into annoyingly cute children, which turn into psychotic teenagers, which turn-"

"That's not what he meant!" Shadi hissed in her ear. This was so unfair. He wasn't supposed to be the voice of reason. He was supposed to be the mysterious, mystical guy that turned up every once in a while to give random clues.

"Well, in that case!" Ishizu beamed. "Shadi brought us!" She patted his arm in a manner that probably wasn't supposed to be, but definitely was, degrading. Shadi sunk into a sullen state of withdrawal, under the apparent belief that it made his position as Ishizu's attack-dog less degrading.

"Did you call me sexually constipated?" Yami asked in annoyance.

"Yes," she said firmly. "And weak besides."

"I am not weak," he said, lifting his chin defensively.

"You're not strong enough to carry Yugi," she said complacently.

"I am too!" he said furiously.

"Prove it," she suggested.

"Fine!" Yami scooped Yugi up easily, cradling the smaller boy in his arms. Yugi cocked his head, but didn't protest.

"You win." Ishizu kicked Shadi lightly in the shin, and the two of them vanished.

The two boys stood in the middle of the kitchen. Yami had the distinct impression that someone had just made a fool of him.

"That was… random," Yugi finally said. He seemed comfortable; he'd snuggled deep inside his yami's arms and was nuzzling the tight but soft shirt.

"You're right," Yami said blankly. He couldn't think of anything else to say. His mind was completely gone. The few brain cells left were being put to work imagining Yugi nuzzling him. This time without the shirt.

So, say, 97 of his brain was gone. 3 was fantasizing about his hikari. 0 was guarding against the mindlink. He was pretty much screwed.

"Not yet," Yugi replied.

"Wha-" Yami started to ask, but suddenly new images flooded his brain. Yes, Yugi had apparently tapped into the mindlink. And he was… adding to the fantasies.

He was sort of torn between distinctly uncomfortable (he was wearing really tight clothes) and immensely happy (Yugi loved him Yugi loved him Yugi loved him).

Yugi loved him Yugi loved him Yugi loved him Yugi-

Wait. Unless Yugi just wanted him. Unless Yugi just wanted sex, and he, Yami, just happened to be standing in the most convenient place-

"Don't be silly!" Yugi said, giggling. "Of course I love you, Yami." His hands, still bound, reached up to cup Yami's face. "You're my best friend for always. And you've saved my life. You've helped my Grandpa and my friends. You're sweet and careful and gentle and I love you."

"I love you too, Yugi," Yami managed to choke out. He was surprised he'd gotten that far. He was going to collapse at any minute now.

"I know." Yugi paused to giggle. "At least, I know now. I was worried there for a while."

"You shouldn't have been." Yami hefted him up, bringing their faces close. Yugi flushed demurely, then tipped forward to touch noses, giggling again. "Who couldn't love you?" Yami murmured, thoughts in a haze.

He wasn't sure if Yugi ever answered, because soon he was drowning in the small, sweet mouth he'd dreamed of kissing for months.

Ishizu tapped the Millennium Necklace thoughtfully. "Next… next… next…"

Shadi had brought them directly from the Game Shop to the Caribbean. He figured he'd exercise his powers, since lately they'd been reduced to… well, a number of things that could be boiled down to 'Ishizu's bidding'.

Of course, since he didn't want to be around anyone for the next five years or so (except maybe Ishizu, but even that affection was being stretched to the brink lately), he'd brought them to an island he was sure was deserted. That was because it was approximately ten feet by six feet long and consisted of two jutting rocks.

"What are you doing?" he asked finally.

"Surfing," she answered happily.

Well, it was about time. Now he had definite proof that Ishizu had indeed lost her mind.

"Surfing through visions," she decided to clarify. "I just got a flood of them. Want to see?"

"Not really," he said grumpily.

"What's with you?" Even this display of caring vanished quickly as she breezed onward. "They're all the same anyway. Seto and Joey kissing, Bakura and Ryou kissing, Yami and Yugi kissing. The-en, I surf onwards, because I'm not sure I want to see what comes next." She looked proud for approximately two seconds, then her eyes took on a funny look. "So what do I do now?"

Shadi stared at her. This woman was unbelievable. "Don't you think it's time to relax, Ishizu? Take a break? Focus on yourself?"

"Marik really does need a girlfriend," she mused, starting to tap the Necklace again.

"No. No no no no." Shadi reached out and seized her hand. "Let's not be worried about anyone else's love life except ou-" he stopped himself, horrified. He had been about to say 'but our own', but he might as well scream 'I LOVE YOU' in her face.

Just as he was contemplating that, since nothing else had seemed to work, the Millennium Necklace glowed faintly. Since he was touching Ishizu at the time, he was lucky witness to this latest vision as well.

"For the love of Ra! I love you! Why else would I follow you around Domino! Why else would I agree to these crazy schemes! Why else would I lower myself to practically licking your heels?"

Vision-Shadi was waving his arms around. Vision-Shadi was screaming his love for Ishizu at the top of his lungs. Vision-Shadi was an idiot.

"When was that supposed to happen?" Ishizu asked weakly.

"I don't know. I don't care."

"Wh-" Ishizu never finished her sentence. Shadi had had enough of being the submissive one. He felt a mix of satisfaction, triumph, and deep content as he pushed her backwards, seeking out her mouth with his own.

They worked in about five full seconds of kissing before a wave crashed over the entire 'island', drenching the both of them.

It was funny. This time, when Ishizu burst out laughing, Shadi didn't feel even a slight inclination to kill her.

Next chapter: The last one! Joey and Seto finally wake up, Ryou and Bakura have a meaningful conversation on what it really means to stand up for yourself, then a quick wrap-up with all the couples.