He spends his nights in California, watching
The stars on the big screen
Then he lies awake and he wonders, why
Can't that be me
Cause in his life he is filled with all these good intentions
He's left a lot of things he'd rather not
Mention right now
But just before he says goodnight, he looks
Up with a little smile at me and he says
Sean laid on his couch for a while, staring aimlessly at the ceiling. He felt like he had fallen into a rut, a bad one. In the past 24 hours he had ruined the engine of his shop project, gotten yet another detention, taken his rage out on the one person in the world who seemed to get him, and to top it all off he'd fallen back into his alcohol addiction. Sometimes Sean wished he could just be someone else. Someone without drunk parents, someone who everyone wouldn't look down on or automatically label as a common criminal, someone with a life better off than his... But that was just a dream, an impossible dream. He was stuck. He had problems, issues, now and probably for the rest of his fucking life.
He'd give almost anything to be someone else right now.
If I could be like that, I would
Give anything
Just to live one day, in those shoes
If I could be like that, what would I do,
What would I do
Now and dreams we run
She spends her days up in the north park,
Watching the people as they pass
And all she wants is just a little piece of
This dream, is that too much to ask
With a safe home, and a warm bed, on a
quiet little street
All she wants is just that something to
Hold onto, that's all she needs
Ellie leaned back against the backrest of the park bench she had been sitting on for the past few hours, watching the different people pass her by. They all seemed so carefree, so happy, as if they all lived in a perfect dream world, full of cloudless blue skies, happy endings and picture-perfect families. Sometimes Ellie wished that she could live in a dream world, instead of the nightmare she resided in now.
The number of people slowly decreased as the sun faded along the horizon. Judging by how dark it was getting, not the mention the cold, Ellie knew she should head home soon. Home. Currently, home was the last place Ellie wanted to be. She didn't want to have to return to all of the problems awaiting her return. With the pile of work from Caitlin, the midterm study homework and having to once again deal with her mother and her horrible drinking obsession, home was definately not the place Ellie wanted to spend her time in. She knew she'd eventually have to head back, when it got too dark too see and it'd get too cold to stay out in the frigid night air...but until then, Ellie wanted to just sit there, on the park bench she'd been on for hours and watch the world pass by.
For some reason, it seemed like the only thing worth doing right now.
Yeah!!
If I could be like that,
I would give anything
Just to live one day, in those shoes
If I could be like that, what would I do,
What would I do
Sean eventually picked up the remote and began flipping through the channels, trying to find something to take his mind off of everything. "Just my luck, a crappy day and nothing but shit's on TV..." He muttered, speeding up the pace of his channel surfing. He was interrupted by the ringing of his phone. He instantly answered it hoping it would be Ellie. That he might have a chance to apologize and admit how much of an asshole he'd been.
"Hello." He answered, waiting for the sound of the voice he was hoping for.
"Hey Cameron." He sighed, it was only Jay.
"What do you want?" Sean questioned, hoping it was even worth the effort of picking up the phone. But then again, it was Jay, and sometimes his ideas were pretty good...sometimes.
"I need some help with my car. Towerz tried to fix a problem with the engine, but it only made it worse. I need someone who knows their cars..." Jay explained. "Think you can come take a look?" Sean pulled the phone away from his ear and let it drop on the couch, leaving Jay waiting in silence on the other end of the phone line.
Sean began to massage his temples, contemplating what he should answer. Heading over to Jay's was like an invitation to become friends again, like they had been before. Before Jay became too wild and Sean nearly lost his student welfare. Since then, Sean had returned to hanging out with Craig, who was glad for a friend who didn't know too much about the whole Ashley and Manny predicament. Then again, Jay and the others understood him. That was something not many people seemed to be able to accomplish right now.
"Cameron, you there?" Jay's voice sounded from the phone.
Silence.
"Come on Cameron, can you take a look at it or not?" Sean glanced at the phone, considering his answer. The flashbacks that had been haunting his mind earlier returned, ending his hesitation. He picked up the phone again.
"Sure, I take a look. See you in five." Sean answered, pushing the end button and tossing the phone at the couch before heading out the door.
I'm falling into this, in dreams
We run away
If I could be like that, I would
Give anything
Just to live one day, in those shoes
If I could be like that, what would I do,
What would I do
"Mum?..." (1)Ellie questioned as she entered through her front door, her eyes moving to the couch. Her mother replied with a soft groan, her eyes half open as she strained to reach a half-empty bottle of vodka resting on the table just out of her grasp.
"E-Eleanor...H-Help.. M..."She stuttered, trying desperately to grab the bottle.
Ellie sighed and walked over, hurt in her eyes. It pained her to see her mother care more about her alcohol than her teenage daughter. Even though she knew she should probably be used to it by now, it still hurt.
Once her mother was set, her blanket pulled up over her once again, the television volume turned down so she could sleep and the vodka bottle in hand, Ellie sighed and headed upstairs to her room. Leaving her mother lying on the couch, enjoying the contents of the vodka bottle.
Ellie pulled open the drawer in her nightstand, removing the one object hidden inside it; her razor. Rolling up her sleeve, she pressed the blade to her skin, letting it slide across as a line of red followed the razors path. When enough new cuts had graced her arm and the bleeding had stopped, Ellie rolled her sleeve back down, placing the razor back in its hiding place, to await the time its services were once again needed.
She laid down on her bed, leaving the lights off so she could sit in the comforting darkness of her room and peacefully imagine living in an ideal dream world, where all her problems could just disappear...
If I could be like that, I would
Give anything
Just to live one day, in those shoes
If I could be like that, what would I do,
What would I do
If I could be like that, I would
Give anything
Just to live one day, in those shoes
If I could be like that, what would I
do, what would I do
Falling in
I feel I am falling in, to this again
A/N: Back from vacation! Sorry it took so long, I procrastinated again and just rewrote the chapter. I've also been working on my Paige fan fic called Stand Back, check it out if you're in the mood for a trial piece.
So many reviews while I was on vacation, I love 'em...
Oh, the lyrics are from the song "Be Like That" by Three Doors Down.
Thanks to guitargurl, WritingIsMyDream, kurt couper, vyona and NoLaBeLs.
orange crush3: Thank you, for the review and adding two, (no, wait, three!) more chapters to the amazing Yours Truly, Ellie Nash, it's coming along great.
PsYcHoJo: Thanks. Another great chapter to Numb!
MadnessLivedOnAndSighed: I'm not going anywhere for at least a couple of weeks. Hopefully that means I'll be updating more often, if I can stop putting it off like I have been for a while. I appreciate the review.
Your friendly neighborhood Canadian cousin: Hello to you too Anna... Yes, I suppose a thanks is overdue, even though I had to listen to your really bad summary of the first part of Accidents Will Happen, but I guess that is forgivable. So here it is: Thank you. As for the driving bit, you didn't let me drive, I was just given the driving lesson in your car. So there! Ha ha ha. I guess I'll see you whenever you come to visit.
(1) I could've sworn she said mum in Whisper to a Scream, so incase anyone questioning on that…