Six days later, Kenny helped Maxine load the final box into the back of his truck. Jeremy had apparently gotten some room cleaned out for her in his apartment until they had time to look for a place together. It was official now, Kenny was losing Maxine forever.
"Is that the last of it?" Kenny asked, closing the back of the truck.
"Yes," Maxine sighed, "There's not that much room in the apartment, it's only a little bigger than our…than your place," Maxine told him, "When we get the new place I'll have some more stuff to get out of storage."
"Well, you need me to help with that, or if you want to leave anything here, it's no problem," Kenny supplied, "This is awkward."
"Why?" Maxine asked, "We knew it was coming. We've put the other issues behind us, we can go on being friends."
"Because I kind of got used to you being here. It was nice to have someone to come home to, or come home with," Kenny mused.
"It is, but hey, we'll still have Friday nights. Once a month, Friday night, pizza and beer, with an old action movie," Maxine promised.
Kenny smiled, "I'll look forward to that. And hey, you decided old Jeremy is annoying you and you want to come here and be with me, hang out with me, you're more than welcome."
"I know that," Maxine smiled and put her arms around Kenny's neck, pressing herself up against him in a strong hug, "Thank you, Kenny for everything."
Kenny hugged her back, enjoying the feeling of her in his arms this one time before she left him for Jeremy, "Don't mention, Max. That's what friends are for. Now, hop in and I'll give you a ride to your new abode."
Maxine giggled at Kenny's mock bow and jumped into the passenger side of the truck. She looked back at the apartment building she'd lived in with Kenny, where she had shared so many things with him. It was the place where they fought, talked, ate bad Chinese, recounted bad dates, and finally the place they consummated years of unresolved sexual tension between them. She'd miss it, she'd miss him, but a new chapter in her life was beginning, and it was time they both face it.
Kenny left Maxine off at the apartment. She went inside to get Jeremy so he could help Kenny unload his truck. Kenny started unloading boxes while he waited for Jeremy and Max to come down.
"Ah, Kenny," Jeremy greeted extending his hand, "It was nice of you to help Maxine get packed up. I had to wait for a fax to come through before I could leave this morning."
"It's not problem, Jeremy," Kenny said, "It's my pleasure to help out Max, whenever she needs it."
"Okay, then," Maxine smiled, "Let's get this stuff in; Kenny has to work at three."
Jeremy, Kenny, and Max worked on carrying her boxes into the apartment and Max and Jeremy began unloading them. Kenny didn't like the feel of the apartment; it felt cold, not like a home, not like the apartment he had shared with Max. Maybe, she'd make it a home for them, like she'd made his apartment a home for him. He hoped so.
"Um, well, I better go," Kenny said to the couple around one o'clock, "I want to take a shower before I have to be in work. Take care of yourselves."
Kenny turned to leave, Maxine and Jeremy nearly oblivious to the fact that he was taking his leave, for they were kissing and hugging like teenagers. It wasn't until Kenny closed the door that Maxine noticed he was even gone, "Jeremy, I'll be right back."
Max ran out the door after Kenny, "Kenny," she called, "Hey, wait up."
"I didn't want to disturb you two," Kenny mumbled, "I have to get to work."
"I know, but I wanted to say thanks. You've my best friend, I want you to know that," Maxine confided, looking at her shoes.
"I know that," Kenny replied, leaning over to kiss the top of her head, "You take care. I'll see you tomorrow at the office okay."
"Okay," Maxine replied. "Be careful out there."
The rest of the day passed quickly for Max and for Kenny. She was busy with Jeremy, unpacking, settling in, and sharing pizza and beer on the living room floor, just as she had done with Kenny. Jeremy sat, his arm around Maxine watching Top Gun. She had seen the movie a hundred times but she loved it. Jeremy was sitting beside her, watching the film, watching her watching the film, finally he said, "How can you watch this crap? It's like…so unrealistic. No one can know what really goes on in those flight schools."
"It's just a movie, Jeremy," Maxine told him, "Kenny and I watch it all the time. It's great."
"Well, um…" he didn't get to finish his sentence before the phone rang. "Hello," Jeremy said into the phone, "Um, no I'm not busy just watching TV. Okay, I can be there in ten minutes."
Maxine looked up at Jeremy, "What is it?"
"Work, the client rejected the contract," Jeremy groaned rising, "I have to go meet with the other on the account and go over the option we have. We have to finish this by Friday."
Maxine rose with him, "Okay, should I wait up for you?" she asked.
Jeremy shook his head, "I don't know what time I'll get back. You just go to bed. I'll see you tomorrow," he said with a quick kiss on the cheek. "Good night."
"Night," Maxine said quietly, settling back on the sofa to watch the last of the movie alone.
Kenny was busy with work, teaching another new deputy the ropes, all the while thinking about what his about Maxine. He missed working with her, and he missed the idea of seeing her when he got home. On the way back to the apartment, he picked up a case of beer, a pizza, and Top Gun from the video rental store, he'd let Max take his copy with her, to watch. If he thought hard enough maybe he could pretend that Maxine was with him watching the film, instead of across town doing Lord knows what with Jeremy.
He missed her, God, how he missed her. He should have told her how much he loved her and wanted her, but he was too proud, too afraid to admit his feelings. If that one night they'd spent didn't tell her what was in his heart, there was no way that his words would change her mind or her heart. If he could only put his pride aside, then he could be happy.
Kenny took a shower and headed for bed. He laid down on the bed he and Maxine had shared. It still smelled like her perfume at times, maybe it was fact; maybe it was just his imagination, his wishful thinking, but he loved that soft vanilla scent. He breathed it in, a long breath, one then the next. He couldn't fall asleep right away, so he reached out and turned on the radio. It was set to the country station, the one Max liked. Some song was playing about someone exes living in Texas. He rolled over taking the pillow Max had slept on with him. He breathed in the scent on that pillow, listened to the songs and finally fell asleep.
When he awoke again, he reached out for Maxine. He often did that and found the bed empty. He sighed and rolled over in the dark room, listening still to the radio. The words of the song grabbed his heart, for the woman in it was feeling the same as he was now.
I can feel the
darkness reaching in
As I touch the place you may as well have never been
Love can hurt much more than one can bear
When a heart beats for someone who's not there
How many times must I tell myself that you're gone
When will the rest of me wake up and see what went wrong... So wrong
And turn on the light and pick up the phone and just
call
And lay pride aside
If I had any sense left at all
Kenny told himself again and again that Maxine was gone now, that she was happy with Jeremy. That is what he wanted, her happiness, even if he was miserable. That is what true love is about, making the one you loved happy, no matter what it did to your heart. Kenny wanted to tell Maxine how much he loved her, it would be so easy to pick up the phone, turn on the light and pick up the phone, but his stupid pride wouldn't let him.
Maxine finally fell asleep on the sofa as she listened to her favorite radio station after she had cleaned up the pizza and rewound the tape. When she woke the room was dark and still silent, Jeremy had not yet returned. She was alone in the house, it was quiet, yet she could hear Kenny's voice. "Welcome anytime," he'd told her and she knew that he meant it. This was not what it was supposed to be like. She loved Jeremy, she did, but lately, after that night with Kenny, she wanted him. She knew what he was like, the king of the bedroom, the ruler of the one night stand. She couldn't let it go any further, even if being in his arms, in his bed, felt like home.
Voices call that only
I can hear
Who would have thought love was something I would fear
Almost home, almost there, almost taste
On my mind, in my heart, on my face
How many times must I tell myself that you're gone
When will the rest of me wake up and see what went wrong... So wrong
And turn on the light and pick up the phone and just
call
And lay pride aside
If I had any sense left at all
It would be so easy now to pick up the phone and call Kenny, to tell him she was alone and scared, but she couldn't admit the mistake she'd made. She sighed, the lyrics of this new song were even telling her to call him, so finally taking a deep breath, she laid her pride aside and dialed the phone.
Buzz, bizz, buzz, the busy signal taunted her. Maxine sighed and put the phone back in the cradle. "Stupid radio," murmured to herself, switching it off, before rising from the couch to go back to sleep in the bed she'd now share with Jeremy.
Kenny switched off the radio on the bedside table and switched on the light, maybe the song made sense after all. It couldn't hurt to just dial the phone, could it? Buzz, bizz, buzz, the busy signal was his only answer. "Stupid song," Kenny grumbled as he switched the light back off, leaving the phone next to it's cradle. It was smarter anyway not to talk to her to leave her be. He had his pride, he should keep his pride. It was thereore, the only thing he had left.
Oh just lay pride aside
If I had any sense left at all