Chapter 12
Janet sighed, idly flipping through her magazine. She slapped it shut after a few moments, knowing that she wasn't really reading anything. She thought about turning on the TV, but there weren't good odds of anything good being on at 11:00 at night. The latest issue of People magazine slipped from her fingertips and fell to the floor. She thought about picking it up, but she was suddenly struck with a bout of fatigue, something that had been plaguing her all day. Janet felt tired and nauseated and just generally blah, not at all like her usual self. Maybe it'll be better if I close my eyes...
"Sweetheart, I'm really sorry, but...well that Ms. Harrison is a very picky lady. She wanted steak medium rare then made us do it over because it was too pink. I tell you, honey..." His voice trailed off when he saw Janet lying on the bed, the remote limp in her hand. The aforementioned arm was curled up to her side, while her left arm was situated under her pillow. A few loose strands of hair famed her face as she slept, and Jack smiled.
Jack came over to the bed and lifted the remote from her hand, which caused Janet to stir. Rubbing her eyes, she sat up and looked and Jack. "Sorry."
"You feel all right?" he asked her softly.
"Yeah, just tired," she replied. She glanced at him. "Don't I get a proper hello?"
"Of course you do, babe." Jack took her hands, pulling her from the bed as he put his hands lightly on her waist. His mouth met hers in a passionate kiss, as everything else in the world melted away except him and her. Her lips parted slightly to allow his tongue access. She was just about to let out a pleasurable moan when the nausea came back at full force, stronger then it ever had been before. Janet immediately pulled out of his embrace and ran to the bathroom.
Instinctively, Jack was on her heels. He followed his girlfriend into the bathroom to find her kneeling in front of the toilet and disposing the contents of her stomach. "Oh, honey..." He knelt down besides her, gently putting his arms around her waist. Jack whispered words of reassurance in her ear, but he could only sit by helplessly as she threw up again and again.
"Jack..." she whimpered softly, leaning weakly into his arms. "I hate this."
"Do you think you're okay now?" His breath was soft as a feather against her ear. "Can you get up?"
"I..." She started to sit up, but the nauseated feeling once again took over.
This time, though, Jack was ready. He gathered her hair into a ponytail as the food came up. "I'm right here, baby. Right here. You're fine." He let her go for a few moments, grabbed a cup from the sink, and filled it halfway with water. She took a few sips, handing it back to him. Wordlessly, she sat, her back against the wall, hugging her knees to her chest. A few tears cascaded down her cheeks. Jack put his arm around her as she snuggled up against him, crying.
"I'm sorry," she said, almost inaudibly, after a few moments. "I probably should have canceled on you tonight and said no, but I just...we've both been kind of busy lately and I just wanted to be with you."
"Hey, hey, hey," he assured her, lifting her chin with his hand. "It's okay. Just let me take care of you, all right?"
She nodded sadly as he pulled her to her feet. Jack kissed her on the forehead gently as he unbuttoned her shirt. "Don't cry. And trust me. Please?" She opened her mouth to protest, but acquiesced, which surprised him. He took his shirt off and put it on Janet, buttoning up the first three buttons. Then he placed his hands lightly on her hips, pushing her softly so her back was firmly against the wall. He must have read her mind, because he smiled. "So what if I get your germs?" he asked quietly as he kissed her. In one fluid motion, he picked her up in his arms and carried her to the bed.
"Hold me," she whispered in an extremely small voice. "Please hold me now."
"Always," he told her softly, crawling into bed beside her. He wrapped his arm protectively over her abdomen as she cuddled into him as close as possible. "Love you, sweetie."
Her answer was muffled by the pillow, and almost unintelligible, but he knew it was there all the same. "I love you."
"Baby, whatever this is, it should get better by tomorrow," he murmured.
"Then why don't I believe a word you're saying?" Without giving him time to respond, she rolled over so she was facing the wall. "Night." She hated the fact that she was turning into a certified crybaby. Crying seemed like the perfect solution now when anything went wrong in her life. Janet knew that Jack would hold her and tell her everything would be okay, but she didn't like that she was becoming that type of person. Nevertheless, silent tears streamed down her face. She knew that there was a possibility of her being pregnant. A slim one, mind you, but a possibility all the same. She was torn; she wanted it but she knew in her heat of hearts that this wasn't the right time.
"Terri? You home?" Janet called as she and Jack entered the apartment. They were surprised, to say the least, to see their friend and Larry sitting on the couch, actively engaged in what seemed to be an actual conversation. Thank goodness for small miracles. The two were talking and seemed happy, which was in sharp contrast to every other time they were together. Every other time, they couldn't go two minutes without irritating each other within inches of their sanity.
"What are you doing here?" Janet asked, maybe a little too harshly. Realizing this, she added hastily, "Not that we don't love you and all..."
"I just needed some milk and I didn't want to go to the store."
"So you came to us. We're honored," Janet replied sarcastically. "And don't you dare look at us like that!"
"Like what?"
"Like just because we didn't come home last night we did stuff!"
"I'm not thinking anything!" Larry protested, but he couldn't stop a tiny smile from forming.
"Whatever...you never change, do you?" Janet sighed. "You're hopeless. I need to talk to Terri, anyway."
"Don't change, Larry," Terri suddenly said, surprising the four of them by kissing him on the cheek. "We love you just the way you are." Larry didn't have time to form a coherent response, because Terri had disappeared in the bedroom with Janet.
"Okay, honey, what is it?"
"Oh, no way. Me first. What was that thing with Larry all about?"
"Janet, you always change the subject when you don't want to talk about what I asked. I asked you first. So talk."
"Terri, I...I think I might be pregnant." The words came out in a hushed whisper; she didn't want the guys overhearing. "I mean, my period's not late, but I got really sick last night and that's why we stayed. I even threw up. More than once, and I haven't thrown up or even gotten sick since I was six years old. What do I do?"
Terri was silent for a few moments. "Does Jack...have you talked to him?"
"No, and I really don't want to. This is so not the right time for this, and as much as I might want a baby, it would mess things up."
"Sweetie, I know you. Be honest. You've wanted kids forever. Why don't you want it now?"
Janet hung her head sadly, and there were tears once again in her eyes as she looked up at her friend. "I'm scared Jack won't want this, and he won't stick around. I don't want him to leave me."
"Oh, honey, he wouldn't do that to you, ever," Terri said, hugging her. "Now listen to me. You just get through the next couple of hours, all right? I'll swing by the store and bring you back a pregnancy test. Everything will turn out fine. You'll see."
True to her word, there was a small box sitting on Janet's dresser when she woke up after a much needed nap. Janet took a deep breath, methodically turning it over and over in her hands before finally opened it. A small piece of paper fluttered out, and with shaking hands, Janet reached for it. Everyone's gone, so feel free to go for it. Remember, talk to him and everything will be fine. Hugs and kisses. She stood up and headed to the living room. Terri was right. Worst case scenario, she and Jack would be having a baby. And that wasn't really bad, just the worst timing in the world.
After simply staring at the little strip for an extremely long time, she did what she had to do. She placed the strip on the table and set the timer for three minutes. "Relax," she muttered to herself, though it was easier said than done. "You may be pregnant and you may not be. It's just a color difference. "
"You may or may not be what?" Jack's raised voice interrupted her reverie, causing her to give a small shriek.
"Pregnant," she whispered softly. "I think I might be pregnant. I'm sorry."
"What? What would you have to be sorry for?"
"I know we don't need this right now."
"Janet, I don't care what we need! The fact of the matter is, we may be having a baby. And you should have told me this either way. This is what last night was about, wasn't it?"
She nodded, her eyes never leaving his face, searching for some sign that said he was upset or mad or anything.
"Janet, if you are, you need to take care of yourself...and our baby," he said softly, stepping closer and closer to her. Almost as a reflex, his tone got louder. "I deserved to know, not accidentally find out. You should have told me."
"Jack..." she whimpered softly, touching the sleeve of his shirt. The events of the last few days were all becoming too much, and tears began to fall. "Don't yell at me."
"Oh, honey...I'm sorry," he said softly as she clung to him tightly. "It's okay. We'll figure this out."
"No we won't," she mumbled, the ears dripping onto his shirt. "I mean, I can't be pregnant now, Jack. I just can't!"
"Why not? As I recall, you always wanted kids."
"Honest?"
He nodded, wiping her tears away. "Talk to me."
"I know we're not ready for this if it happens now and...and I don't want you to leave me."
"Sweetheart, I love you. I love you more than anything in this world. I'd never leave you, especially if you were pregnant. Please believe me."
She nodded, her face still stained with tears. "I love you, too."
"Good," he whispered softly, stroking her hair. "Now that we've got that settled, what about this baby thing?"
"It says you have to wait three minutes," she said softly, sitting on the couch and hugging her knees to her chest. "I don't think I can take this. I mean, what - what if...?" She couldn't finish her thought as she buried her face in his chest.
"If it says we're going to have a baby, then we will. Simple as that. But no matter what, I'm going to love you always and forever."
The timer went off then, signaling that the three minutes were up and that the test was complete. Janet reluctantly pulled out of Jack's embrace. "Guess it's now or never, huh? Now go look."
"Janet..."
"Jack, please!"
Reluctantly, he went over to the table and picked up the stick. "Uh...Janet, sweetie, I think it's broken. It doesn't say anything."
"Oh, for god's sake! Pink or blue, Jack! Pink for yes and blue for no. It's not rocket science."
"Blue," he finally said triumphantly, glad that he was able to contribute something to this process.
Janet grabbed it from him, fresh tears streaming down her face. She started to giggle, mostly from relief but deep down she felt a twinge of sadness and regret. Even though the last hours had terrified her beyond belief, she had almost kind of gotten used to the idea that there might have been a baby. Janet sighed, emotions running through her mind so quickly she could hardly keep up. She didn't know anymore whether she was happy or not.
"Is this okay?" Jack asked her gently.
Janet looked up quickly. She was a little taken aback by the question, but pushed the surprise aside. Jack had always been able to read her and understand her in ways that nobody else could. He was the only one who had the power to reach her when no one else could. She managed a small smile for his benefit. "Yeah...I guess. The rational part of me knows that we didn't need this, but...it didn't stop me from wanting it." Tears started to fall, fresh tears that she furiously wiped away. Great. She got the hormones; the effects of pregnancy without the perks. She just couldn't win.
"Janet...honey, listen to me, all right? This is good for us. You're right. We didn't need this now. But if you want this to happen, we could always wait a couple of months and...try again."
She smiled softly, eagerly entering into his arms. He leaned in to kiss her gently and pulled back a few seconds later, questions in his eyes. She nodded, telling him that this was okay. Jack wrapped his arms around her waist, and she lifted her lips to his for the kiss that she knew she would be receiving. It couldn't have been sweeter. The last couple of days, she had been scared and shutting him out, and she knew it. It was only for less than 40 hours, but it broke her heart to hurt him. She missed simply being with him, missed the closeness and easy comfort level they always had. Also, his kisses never failed to make her melt. But something was wrong, she realized, as his mouth brushed against her forehead. She couldn't honestly enjoy it the way she had before. Janet pushed him away gently and led him to the couch. "We need to talk."
Jack glanced up at her. "That's never a good sentence. What's wrong?" He pulled her onto his lap, but she twisted out of his grasp, choosing instead to sit in a chair. Being in such a close proximity would only make things that much harder.
Janet sighed. "Look, this isn't easy for me. You've got to understand...or at least humor me and try to. I love you. I love you more than anything in this world. You have to know that." Jack nodded. "I love you, too."
"Thank you, because what I'm about to say has nothing to do with how much I love you. Well, it does, but..."
"Honey?"
She looked up then, abandoning her mental preparation for what she would say and how she would say it. "Yes?"
"You're making me nervous. Just say it."
"Jack, I...I could have been pregnant. For the past two days, I really thought I was pregnant, and that terrified me. I wanted it a little, but everything would have changed, and we're just doing great with what we've got now, you know?" She sighed, stood, and began pacing back and forth in front of him. "I love you, sweetheart, so much. That night, and the morning after...I loved what we did. I don't regret that for a minute. It's just that it made me realize that what we did...Jack, having sex has actual consequences. Some pretty scary ones, and ones that I'm not ready to deal with right now. And until I am, I don't think it's fair – for me or you – for us to have sex anymore." Janet stopped dead in front of him, nervously twisting a lock of hair around her finger.
"Janet," Jack finally said. "Come here." He pulled her onto his lap, and this time she didn't resist. She snuggled up against him, his arm around her waist. It was her absolute favorite place in the world to be, and she wouldn't trade a second with Jack for anything in the world. "It's fine."
"Really? You're...you're not just saying that because you know it's what I want to hear, are you?"
"Baby, no. Janet Elizabeth, I love you. You know that, and don't you ever, ever forget it."
Her response was to reach up, letting her lips brush against his. The kiss was intense for a few seconds before she pulled away.
"What was that for?"
"You. I always know you're serious when you start middle-naming me."
"I am."
"I don't even know how you found that out! But go on. Keep saying how much you love me."
"Fine. As I was saying..." She giggled softly as he cradled her body against his. "As I was saying, I'm so in love with you that sometimes I can't even believe you want to be with me. I loved waking up that morning, knowing that you were right there beside me. But if I have to wait awhile before I can wake up that way again, I will. I love you so much, hon. You're right, anyway. Sex is a big thing, and we both have to be completely ready for us to do that again. You're obviously not, and I understand that. We both have to be comfortable having an intimate relationship or it isn't worth having one."
"Thank you," she whispered softly, her eyes glistening with tears. "Thank you so much for understanding. I'm- I'm not ready for that again. Not yet. Just know that we will someday. You're too special to give up entirely."
Jack smiled, stroking her hair softly. "I love you." Then they kissed, but just as it became intense, the door swung open. Ralph Furley stood in the archway, his mouth hanging open.
Janet was the first to see him. She shrieked, maybe a little too loudly, jumping off Jack's lap.
He didn't even know she was capable of moving that fast. "Would you mind not screaming when I kiss you? It doesn't do much for my confidence, you know." Jack followed her gaze and jumped. "Furley!! Uh...hi!"
"You were kissing! In a romantic way! Only people in love kiss like that! And you're supposed to be gay! Since when does stuff like that change?"
Janet unsuccessfully tried to hide her smile. "Mr. Furley...we're so sorry you had to find out this way. We kept meaning to tell you, but just never got around to it. But I have to tell you the truth now. I'm tired of all this lying and sneaking around, so here goes. Jack isn't gay...and we've been dating for the past couple of weeks. "
Both Jack and Furley turned to her, surprise evident in their faces. Ralph had known. He'd known since the day his brother bought the building and he moved in. It was painfully obvious that he and Janet had been harboring major feelings ever since the beginning. Still, he never would have thought they'd ever act on it. But, he realized, she looks happier than I've ever seen her. And Jack dotes on her every possible second.
Jack pinched her gently, just to get her attention. "Why'd you do that?"
"Because...it's just the right time to tell him."
"Still right here, guys. Don't talk about me like I'm not."
Janet sighed and continued. She hadn't honestly wanted to tell him in this way, but now that she knew she had to, the words began to pour out. "See, it was my idea. We wanted Jack to live with us – by us I mean Chrissy and I. So I told Roper that he was gay, because I knew otherwise it wouldn't happen. Five years went buy, then the Ropers left. But he had already told you that Jack was gay, so we didn't really have a choice. I'm sorry."
"I don't really like the fact that you've been lying to me, but I sort of understand why you did. I never really gave you a choice." He said after a few moments of uncomfortable and awkward silence. "And Jack...I've come to love these girls like my daughters, so if you hurt her....I'm coming after you." He headed toward the door go home, and when Jack wasn't looking, turned back and caught Janet's gaze. She still looked worried. He smiled. "It's okay," he mouthed reassuringly. Then he was gone.
Jack sighed a breath of relief once he was gone. "That actually went better than I thought it would. But, honestly, sweetie, can we buy a guard dog or at least change our locks or something?"
"No pets in the building, Jack."
"Since when do we follow the rules?"
She swatted his arm playfully and continued. "And we never even lock our doors, so changing our locks wouldn't do us any good." "Janet, he always just lets himself in!" Jack whined. "It's annoying."
"Well, at least he lets himself out." Janet giggled softly, leaning back into his warm embrace. Jack's arms immediately wrapped tightly around her, holding her close. He planted a small kiss on the top of her head and whispered softly into his hair.
"It's okay. I love you, and that's all we ever need."
Janet sighed, idly flipping through her magazine. She slapped it shut after a few moments, knowing that she wasn't really reading anything. She thought about turning on the TV, but there weren't good odds of anything good being on at 11:00 at night. The latest issue of People magazine slipped from her fingertips and fell to the floor. She thought about picking it up, but she was suddenly struck with a bout of fatigue, something that had been plaguing her all day. Janet felt tired and nauseated and just generally blah, not at all like her usual self. Maybe it'll be better if I close my eyes...
"Sweetheart, I'm really sorry, but...well that Ms. Harrison is a very picky lady. She wanted steak medium rare then made us do it over because it was too pink. I tell you, honey..." His voice trailed off when he saw Janet lying on the bed, the remote limp in her hand. The aforementioned arm was curled up to her side, while her left arm was situated under her pillow. A few loose strands of hair famed her face as she slept, and Jack smiled.
Jack came over to the bed and lifted the remote from her hand, which caused Janet to stir. Rubbing her eyes, she sat up and looked and Jack. "Sorry."
"You feel all right?" he asked her softly.
"Yeah, just tired," she replied. She glanced at him. "Don't I get a proper hello?"
"Of course you do, babe." Jack took her hands, pulling her from the bed as he put his hands lightly on her waist. His mouth met hers in a passionate kiss, as everything else in the world melted away except him and her. Her lips parted slightly to allow his tongue access. She was just about to let out a pleasurable moan when the nausea came back at full force, stronger then it ever had been before. Janet immediately pulled out of his embrace and ran to the bathroom.
Instinctively, Jack was on her heels. He followed his girlfriend into the bathroom to find her kneeling in front of the toilet and disposing the contents of her stomach. "Oh, honey..." He knelt down besides her, gently putting his arms around her waist. Jack whispered words of reassurance in her ear, but he could only sit by helplessly as she threw up again and again.
"Jack..." she whimpered softly, leaning weakly into his arms. "I hate this."
"Do you think you're okay now?" His breath was soft as a feather against her ear. "Can you get up?"
"I..." She started to sit up, but the nauseated feeling once again took over.
This time, though, Jack was ready. He gathered her hair into a ponytail as the food came up. "I'm right here, baby. Right here. You're fine." He let her go for a few moments, grabbed a cup from the sink, and filled it halfway with water. She took a few sips, handing it back to him. Wordlessly, she sat, her back against the wall, hugging her knees to her chest. A few tears cascaded down her cheeks. Jack put his arm around her as she snuggled up against him, crying.
"I'm sorry," she said, almost inaudibly, after a few moments. "I probably should have canceled on you tonight and said no, but I just...we've both been kind of busy lately and I just wanted to be with you."
"Hey, hey, hey," he assured her, lifting her chin with his hand. "It's okay. Just let me take care of you, all right?"
She nodded sadly as he pulled her to her feet. Jack kissed her on the forehead gently as he unbuttoned her shirt. "Don't cry. And trust me. Please?" She opened her mouth to protest, but acquiesced, which surprised him. He took his shirt off and put it on Janet, buttoning up the first three buttons. Then he placed his hands lightly on her hips, pushing her softly so her back was firmly against the wall. He must have read her mind, because he smiled. "So what if I get your germs?" he asked quietly as he kissed her. In one fluid motion, he picked her up in his arms and carried her to the bed.
"Hold me," she whispered in an extremely small voice. "Please hold me now."
"Always," he told her softly, crawling into bed beside her. He wrapped his arm protectively over her abdomen as she cuddled into him as close as possible. "Love you, sweetie."
Her answer was muffled by the pillow, and almost unintelligible, but he knew it was there all the same. "I love you."
"Baby, whatever this is, it should get better by tomorrow," he murmured.
"Then why don't I believe a word you're saying?" Without giving him time to respond, she rolled over so she was facing the wall. "Night." She hated the fact that she was turning into a certified crybaby. Crying seemed like the perfect solution now when anything went wrong in her life. Janet knew that Jack would hold her and tell her everything would be okay, but she didn't like that she was becoming that type of person. Nevertheless, silent tears streamed down her face. She knew that there was a possibility of her being pregnant. A slim one, mind you, but a possibility all the same. She was torn; she wanted it but she knew in her heat of hearts that this wasn't the right time.
"Terri? You home?" Janet called as she and Jack entered the apartment. They were surprised, to say the least, to see their friend and Larry sitting on the couch, actively engaged in what seemed to be an actual conversation. Thank goodness for small miracles. The two were talking and seemed happy, which was in sharp contrast to every other time they were together. Every other time, they couldn't go two minutes without irritating each other within inches of their sanity.
"What are you doing here?" Janet asked, maybe a little too harshly. Realizing this, she added hastily, "Not that we don't love you and all..."
"I just needed some milk and I didn't want to go to the store."
"So you came to us. We're honored," Janet replied sarcastically. "And don't you dare look at us like that!"
"Like what?"
"Like just because we didn't come home last night we did stuff!"
"I'm not thinking anything!" Larry protested, but he couldn't stop a tiny smile from forming.
"Whatever...you never change, do you?" Janet sighed. "You're hopeless. I need to talk to Terri, anyway."
"Don't change, Larry," Terri suddenly said, surprising the four of them by kissing him on the cheek. "We love you just the way you are." Larry didn't have time to form a coherent response, because Terri had disappeared in the bedroom with Janet.
"Okay, honey, what is it?"
"Oh, no way. Me first. What was that thing with Larry all about?"
"Janet, you always change the subject when you don't want to talk about what I asked. I asked you first. So talk."
"Terri, I...I think I might be pregnant." The words came out in a hushed whisper; she didn't want the guys overhearing. "I mean, my period's not late, but I got really sick last night and that's why we stayed. I even threw up. More than once, and I haven't thrown up or even gotten sick since I was six years old. What do I do?"
Terri was silent for a few moments. "Does Jack...have you talked to him?"
"No, and I really don't want to. This is so not the right time for this, and as much as I might want a baby, it would mess things up."
"Sweetie, I know you. Be honest. You've wanted kids forever. Why don't you want it now?"
Janet hung her head sadly, and there were tears once again in her eyes as she looked up at her friend. "I'm scared Jack won't want this, and he won't stick around. I don't want him to leave me."
"Oh, honey, he wouldn't do that to you, ever," Terri said, hugging her. "Now listen to me. You just get through the next couple of hours, all right? I'll swing by the store and bring you back a pregnancy test. Everything will turn out fine. You'll see."
True to her word, there was a small box sitting on Janet's dresser when she woke up after a much needed nap. Janet took a deep breath, methodically turning it over and over in her hands before finally opened it. A small piece of paper fluttered out, and with shaking hands, Janet reached for it. Everyone's gone, so feel free to go for it. Remember, talk to him and everything will be fine. Hugs and kisses. She stood up and headed to the living room. Terri was right. Worst case scenario, she and Jack would be having a baby. And that wasn't really bad, just the worst timing in the world.
After simply staring at the little strip for an extremely long time, she did what she had to do. She placed the strip on the table and set the timer for three minutes. "Relax," she muttered to herself, though it was easier said than done. "You may be pregnant and you may not be. It's just a color difference. "
"You may or may not be what?" Jack's raised voice interrupted her reverie, causing her to give a small shriek.
"Pregnant," she whispered softly. "I think I might be pregnant. I'm sorry."
"What? What would you have to be sorry for?"
"I know we don't need this right now."
"Janet, I don't care what we need! The fact of the matter is, we may be having a baby. And you should have told me this either way. This is what last night was about, wasn't it?"
She nodded, her eyes never leaving his face, searching for some sign that said he was upset or mad or anything.
"Janet, if you are, you need to take care of yourself...and our baby," he said softly, stepping closer and closer to her. Almost as a reflex, his tone got louder. "I deserved to know, not accidentally find out. You should have told me."
"Jack..." she whimpered softly, touching the sleeve of his shirt. The events of the last few days were all becoming too much, and tears began to fall. "Don't yell at me."
"Oh, honey...I'm sorry," he said softly as she clung to him tightly. "It's okay. We'll figure this out."
"No we won't," she mumbled, the ears dripping onto his shirt. "I mean, I can't be pregnant now, Jack. I just can't!"
"Why not? As I recall, you always wanted kids."
"Honest?"
He nodded, wiping her tears away. "Talk to me."
"I know we're not ready for this if it happens now and...and I don't want you to leave me."
"Sweetheart, I love you. I love you more than anything in this world. I'd never leave you, especially if you were pregnant. Please believe me."
She nodded, her face still stained with tears. "I love you, too."
"Good," he whispered softly, stroking her hair. "Now that we've got that settled, what about this baby thing?"
"It says you have to wait three minutes," she said softly, sitting on the couch and hugging her knees to her chest. "I don't think I can take this. I mean, what - what if...?" She couldn't finish her thought as she buried her face in his chest.
"If it says we're going to have a baby, then we will. Simple as that. But no matter what, I'm going to love you always and forever."
The timer went off then, signaling that the three minutes were up and that the test was complete. Janet reluctantly pulled out of Jack's embrace. "Guess it's now or never, huh? Now go look."
"Janet..."
"Jack, please!"
Reluctantly, he went over to the table and picked up the stick. "Uh...Janet, sweetie, I think it's broken. It doesn't say anything."
"Oh, for god's sake! Pink or blue, Jack! Pink for yes and blue for no. It's not rocket science."
"Blue," he finally said triumphantly, glad that he was able to contribute something to this process.
Janet grabbed it from him, fresh tears streaming down her face. She started to giggle, mostly from relief but deep down she felt a twinge of sadness and regret. Even though the last hours had terrified her beyond belief, she had almost kind of gotten used to the idea that there might have been a baby. Janet sighed, emotions running through her mind so quickly she could hardly keep up. She didn't know anymore whether she was happy or not.
"Is this okay?" Jack asked her gently.
Janet looked up quickly. She was a little taken aback by the question, but pushed the surprise aside. Jack had always been able to read her and understand her in ways that nobody else could. He was the only one who had the power to reach her when no one else could. She managed a small smile for his benefit. "Yeah...I guess. The rational part of me knows that we didn't need this, but...it didn't stop me from wanting it." Tears started to fall, fresh tears that she furiously wiped away. Great. She got the hormones; the effects of pregnancy without the perks. She just couldn't win.
"Janet...honey, listen to me, all right? This is good for us. You're right. We didn't need this now. But if you want this to happen, we could always wait a couple of months and...try again."
She smiled softly, eagerly entering into his arms. He leaned in to kiss her gently and pulled back a few seconds later, questions in his eyes. She nodded, telling him that this was okay. Jack wrapped his arms around her waist, and she lifted her lips to his for the kiss that she knew she would be receiving. It couldn't have been sweeter. The last couple of days, she had been scared and shutting him out, and she knew it. It was only for less than 40 hours, but it broke her heart to hurt him. She missed simply being with him, missed the closeness and easy comfort level they always had. Also, his kisses never failed to make her melt. But something was wrong, she realized, as his mouth brushed against her forehead. She couldn't honestly enjoy it the way she had before. Janet pushed him away gently and led him to the couch. "We need to talk."
Jack glanced up at her. "That's never a good sentence. What's wrong?" He pulled her onto his lap, but she twisted out of his grasp, choosing instead to sit in a chair. Being in such a close proximity would only make things that much harder.
Janet sighed. "Look, this isn't easy for me. You've got to understand...or at least humor me and try to. I love you. I love you more than anything in this world. You have to know that." Jack nodded. "I love you, too."
"Thank you, because what I'm about to say has nothing to do with how much I love you. Well, it does, but..."
"Honey?"
She looked up then, abandoning her mental preparation for what she would say and how she would say it. "Yes?"
"You're making me nervous. Just say it."
"Jack, I...I could have been pregnant. For the past two days, I really thought I was pregnant, and that terrified me. I wanted it a little, but everything would have changed, and we're just doing great with what we've got now, you know?" She sighed, stood, and began pacing back and forth in front of him. "I love you, sweetheart, so much. That night, and the morning after...I loved what we did. I don't regret that for a minute. It's just that it made me realize that what we did...Jack, having sex has actual consequences. Some pretty scary ones, and ones that I'm not ready to deal with right now. And until I am, I don't think it's fair – for me or you – for us to have sex anymore." Janet stopped dead in front of him, nervously twisting a lock of hair around her finger.
"Janet," Jack finally said. "Come here." He pulled her onto his lap, and this time she didn't resist. She snuggled up against him, his arm around her waist. It was her absolute favorite place in the world to be, and she wouldn't trade a second with Jack for anything in the world. "It's fine."
"Really? You're...you're not just saying that because you know it's what I want to hear, are you?"
"Baby, no. Janet Elizabeth, I love you. You know that, and don't you ever, ever forget it."
Her response was to reach up, letting her lips brush against his. The kiss was intense for a few seconds before she pulled away.
"What was that for?"
"You. I always know you're serious when you start middle-naming me."
"I am."
"I don't even know how you found that out! But go on. Keep saying how much you love me."
"Fine. As I was saying..." She giggled softly as he cradled her body against his. "As I was saying, I'm so in love with you that sometimes I can't even believe you want to be with me. I loved waking up that morning, knowing that you were right there beside me. But if I have to wait awhile before I can wake up that way again, I will. I love you so much, hon. You're right, anyway. Sex is a big thing, and we both have to be completely ready for us to do that again. You're obviously not, and I understand that. We both have to be comfortable having an intimate relationship or it isn't worth having one."
"Thank you," she whispered softly, her eyes glistening with tears. "Thank you so much for understanding. I'm- I'm not ready for that again. Not yet. Just know that we will someday. You're too special to give up entirely."
Jack smiled, stroking her hair softly. "I love you." Then they kissed, but just as it became intense, the door swung open. Ralph Furley stood in the archway, his mouth hanging open.
Janet was the first to see him. She shrieked, maybe a little too loudly, jumping off Jack's lap.
He didn't even know she was capable of moving that fast. "Would you mind not screaming when I kiss you? It doesn't do much for my confidence, you know." Jack followed her gaze and jumped. "Furley!! Uh...hi!"
"You were kissing! In a romantic way! Only people in love kiss like that! And you're supposed to be gay! Since when does stuff like that change?"
Janet unsuccessfully tried to hide her smile. "Mr. Furley...we're so sorry you had to find out this way. We kept meaning to tell you, but just never got around to it. But I have to tell you the truth now. I'm tired of all this lying and sneaking around, so here goes. Jack isn't gay...and we've been dating for the past couple of weeks. "
Both Jack and Furley turned to her, surprise evident in their faces. Ralph had known. He'd known since the day his brother bought the building and he moved in. It was painfully obvious that he and Janet had been harboring major feelings ever since the beginning. Still, he never would have thought they'd ever act on it. But, he realized, she looks happier than I've ever seen her. And Jack dotes on her every possible second.
Jack pinched her gently, just to get her attention. "Why'd you do that?"
"Because...it's just the right time to tell him."
"Still right here, guys. Don't talk about me like I'm not."
Janet sighed and continued. She hadn't honestly wanted to tell him in this way, but now that she knew she had to, the words began to pour out. "See, it was my idea. We wanted Jack to live with us – by us I mean Chrissy and I. So I told Roper that he was gay, because I knew otherwise it wouldn't happen. Five years went buy, then the Ropers left. But he had already told you that Jack was gay, so we didn't really have a choice. I'm sorry."
"I don't really like the fact that you've been lying to me, but I sort of understand why you did. I never really gave you a choice." He said after a few moments of uncomfortable and awkward silence. "And Jack...I've come to love these girls like my daughters, so if you hurt her....I'm coming after you." He headed toward the door go home, and when Jack wasn't looking, turned back and caught Janet's gaze. She still looked worried. He smiled. "It's okay," he mouthed reassuringly. Then he was gone.
Jack sighed a breath of relief once he was gone. "That actually went better than I thought it would. But, honestly, sweetie, can we buy a guard dog or at least change our locks or something?"
"No pets in the building, Jack."
"Since when do we follow the rules?"
She swatted his arm playfully and continued. "And we never even lock our doors, so changing our locks wouldn't do us any good." "Janet, he always just lets himself in!" Jack whined. "It's annoying."
"Well, at least he lets himself out." Janet giggled softly, leaning back into his warm embrace. Jack's arms immediately wrapped tightly around her, holding her close. He planted a small kiss on the top of her head and whispered softly into his hair.
"It's okay. I love you, and that's all we ever need."