Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. 'Nuff said.
Author's Note: This used to be a post all on its own, but I decided to combine it with three others (the fourth I shall post soon, I swear!), and tweak its title a bit. Note: HANKY ALERT! Just warnin' ya.
-A Time to Mourn-
The day was not a pleasant one. The skies were dark, and the rain fell steadily and softly, with only occasional bursts of torrential drops; much like her tears. She normally didn't cry; it was something she had trained herself not to do. It was moments like these, when her weaknesses became evident, that proved her still very much human, and prone to human emotions such as grief.
He was dead. There was no changing it; no turning back the clock and stopping it from happening. How she wished there were! There were a lot of things she wished, and every one was an impossible dream. She wished that she had told him sooner; that she hadn't been blind to her own feelings until it was too late. She wished that she could have prevented his death, but there was no way she could have and she knew it.
What she really wished for, though, was that it was all a dream: that she'd wake up the next morning and he would be there. He was there, anyway. In all the ways but the one that really mattered. As she stood here, in his spot, standing behind the helm of the ship that he had loved, she could almost hear his voice.
"Ana, luv. Would you mind movin'? Not that I'm complaining, luv; you steer the Pearl admirably. But she is my ship, luv, an' I need t' be th' one steering her." She jumped, it had sounded like he was right beside her; she could almost feel him whispering into her ear.
Looking wildly around, she was satisfied that there was no one there. This turned her mind to a new worry. Hearing things was the first sign of madness, after all. It wouldn't surprise her if his death drove her mad; there were lesser things that could. Closing her eyes, she pictured his face in her mind.
She could still see the intensity of his dark eyes, enhanced by the kohl he continually wore around them. She could see his hair, as long and unruly as ever, with its beads and trinkets wound firmly into the dark locks. She could picture the gold teeth sparkling when he smiled, and his braided beard. It was almost as if he were still standing before her.
When Ana-Maria opened her eyes, she was surprised; Jack was standing there. He had such an air of nonchalance about him that as he walked up to her it caused her to forget, for a moment, that he couldn't be there. She blinked at him uncomprehendingly, the confusion evident in her eyes.
"You're dead." He looked at her, and then at himself. He shrugged and stepped closer to her. She could feel his presence, which was extremely odd for a dead man.
"Am I? Someone forgot to inform me of that fact. 'S not a polite thing to do, that."
It was something only he could ever say, and it almost brought tears to her eyes again. He simply could NOT be standing here- it just wasn't possible. He had died before her eyes; how could he possibly be here, looking as healthy as ever he had?
"Wha' are ye doin' 'ere, Jack? I'm 'avin enough problems withou' yer hauntin' me." His eyebrow quirked, and it was funny how just a few short days had made her miss that one small motion. Then he smiled at her, and the tears fell, unbidden, once again.
"'Hauntin' is such a strong word, luv. An' it's certainly not something to cry about."
If she had really believed him there, Ana-Maria would have slapped him. She wished that he were really there. Desperately, in fact. If she had proof that he was more than a figment of her overtired imagination, if she knew for certain that he wasn't just a phantom come to haunt her, she would have wept again out of sheer joy.
"Tha's not what I'm cryin' about, ye daft fool. Why'd ye have to go an' die on me? I never even got to tell ye..." She trailed off, and angrily dashed away the tears in a futile effort to stop crying. Jack, or the image of Jack, anyway, was instantly serious. He stepped closer to her, until they were only a few inches apart. When he spoke, his voice was deadly serious.
"You never told me what, luv? Let's have it, there's time." This was bad, she could feel him. You weren't supposed to feel figments, or even ghosts. She must be going insane. But he was so close and the desire to just reach out and grab him was so strong that she lost all control, finally breaking down.
"I love ye, Jack! I loved ye and didn't even realize it! An' now it's too late! Yer dead, Jack! Yer dead, whether 'r no' yer standin' in front o' me!" The tears were falling now, harder than ever before; causing the images in front of her to blur until she could no longer see. Ana-Maria dropped to her knees, an emotional wreck.
"Ana."
She looked up, daring to wipe her eyes again. He was still there; still deceivingly real. Her captain held out a hand to help her up, and she took it. It was solid and real, but there was something strange about it. Something that just wasn't quite right. Then he took her in his arms and she forgot the strangeness. His arms around her, he murmured comforts into her ears, desperate to stop her tears.
"It's all right, luv. I'm here; it's all right. I'll always be here. You have my word on that." As she regained control, she pulled away from him slightly and looked him in the eyes. Her voice, when she spoke, sounded hoarse and choked up, and it was a struggle to get the words out.
"Jack, 'M sorry I didn't tell ye sooner. I should've told ye... I should 'ave let ye know..." Ana-Maria trailed off, unable to speak further. The tears threatened to fall again, but she resisted them. She stared at Jack, wanting to believe that this was real; that he was still alive. He smiled at her again, and this time it was surprisingly gentle.
"Ana, there's no need t' apologize. I knew, Ana. I knew; there's no fault in not tellin' me; you didn't know what would happen. Y' need t' understand that, luv." She leaned back into Jack's embrace, not caring that it couldn't be real; that he couldn't be here. All that mattered was that he was here. Logic and reason didn't matter now, not as long as he was here.
"Stay 'ere, Jack. Don't go. I don't care if yer jus' my imagination playin' tricks on me. I wan' ye 'ere, Jack. I need ye 'ere." This time it was Jack who pulled away.
"You know that's not how it works, luv. You need t' get on with your life. The Pearl needs a captain, an' I don't think Gibbs, as good a man as he is, would be too keen t' take that position." She shook her head, resisting the urge to slap him. There was just something wrong with slapping a dead man. Still her eyes burned with anger and hurt; although far more hurt than anger.
"Th' Pearl needs ye, Jack! She's your ship! I'm not meant t' be her captain!" Jack placed a finger on her lips, cutting off any further argument. His eyes were bright with something other than their usual sparkle.
"Ana, that wasn't a request. I'm ordering you t' take charge of the Pearl. I couldn't bear t' think of anyone else commandin' 'er. Don't question my orders, luv." A sudden sound startled both of them, and Jack suddenly looked like he was in a hurry. The crew would be returning soon, and he would have to be gone by the time they arrived. Ana reached up and touched his cheek, trying to ascertain just how real he was.
"Jack, please don' go..." Jack looked at her, his eyes filled with different emotions, sadness and regret dominant. Her took her hand off of his cheek and held it in his own, and a sad smile crossed his face once more.
"I have to, luv: I've got no choice in th' matter. Bu' before I go..." Then, quite unexpectedly, he leaned towards her and kissed her. It was a strong kiss, and Ana-Maria's eyes closed in reflex, but while her eyes were still closed Jack pulled out of their embrace and broke off the kiss.
When she opened her eyes, she was alone. Jack was nowhere to be seen, and she was left just as heartbroken and torn as she had been before. Then the tears came again, and this time there was no one there to calm her. But something was different: the guilt she had held over not telling him her feelings was gone. Still, it didn't change the fact that she felt utterly alone.
-Fin-
Author's Note: This used to be a post all on its own, but I decided to combine it with three others (the fourth I shall post soon, I swear!), and tweak its title a bit. Note: HANKY ALERT! Just warnin' ya.
-A Time to Mourn-
The day was not a pleasant one. The skies were dark, and the rain fell steadily and softly, with only occasional bursts of torrential drops; much like her tears. She normally didn't cry; it was something she had trained herself not to do. It was moments like these, when her weaknesses became evident, that proved her still very much human, and prone to human emotions such as grief.
He was dead. There was no changing it; no turning back the clock and stopping it from happening. How she wished there were! There were a lot of things she wished, and every one was an impossible dream. She wished that she had told him sooner; that she hadn't been blind to her own feelings until it was too late. She wished that she could have prevented his death, but there was no way she could have and she knew it.
What she really wished for, though, was that it was all a dream: that she'd wake up the next morning and he would be there. He was there, anyway. In all the ways but the one that really mattered. As she stood here, in his spot, standing behind the helm of the ship that he had loved, she could almost hear his voice.
"Ana, luv. Would you mind movin'? Not that I'm complaining, luv; you steer the Pearl admirably. But she is my ship, luv, an' I need t' be th' one steering her." She jumped, it had sounded like he was right beside her; she could almost feel him whispering into her ear.
Looking wildly around, she was satisfied that there was no one there. This turned her mind to a new worry. Hearing things was the first sign of madness, after all. It wouldn't surprise her if his death drove her mad; there were lesser things that could. Closing her eyes, she pictured his face in her mind.
She could still see the intensity of his dark eyes, enhanced by the kohl he continually wore around them. She could see his hair, as long and unruly as ever, with its beads and trinkets wound firmly into the dark locks. She could picture the gold teeth sparkling when he smiled, and his braided beard. It was almost as if he were still standing before her.
When Ana-Maria opened her eyes, she was surprised; Jack was standing there. He had such an air of nonchalance about him that as he walked up to her it caused her to forget, for a moment, that he couldn't be there. She blinked at him uncomprehendingly, the confusion evident in her eyes.
"You're dead." He looked at her, and then at himself. He shrugged and stepped closer to her. She could feel his presence, which was extremely odd for a dead man.
"Am I? Someone forgot to inform me of that fact. 'S not a polite thing to do, that."
It was something only he could ever say, and it almost brought tears to her eyes again. He simply could NOT be standing here- it just wasn't possible. He had died before her eyes; how could he possibly be here, looking as healthy as ever he had?
"Wha' are ye doin' 'ere, Jack? I'm 'avin enough problems withou' yer hauntin' me." His eyebrow quirked, and it was funny how just a few short days had made her miss that one small motion. Then he smiled at her, and the tears fell, unbidden, once again.
"'Hauntin' is such a strong word, luv. An' it's certainly not something to cry about."
If she had really believed him there, Ana-Maria would have slapped him. She wished that he were really there. Desperately, in fact. If she had proof that he was more than a figment of her overtired imagination, if she knew for certain that he wasn't just a phantom come to haunt her, she would have wept again out of sheer joy.
"Tha's not what I'm cryin' about, ye daft fool. Why'd ye have to go an' die on me? I never even got to tell ye..." She trailed off, and angrily dashed away the tears in a futile effort to stop crying. Jack, or the image of Jack, anyway, was instantly serious. He stepped closer to her, until they were only a few inches apart. When he spoke, his voice was deadly serious.
"You never told me what, luv? Let's have it, there's time." This was bad, she could feel him. You weren't supposed to feel figments, or even ghosts. She must be going insane. But he was so close and the desire to just reach out and grab him was so strong that she lost all control, finally breaking down.
"I love ye, Jack! I loved ye and didn't even realize it! An' now it's too late! Yer dead, Jack! Yer dead, whether 'r no' yer standin' in front o' me!" The tears were falling now, harder than ever before; causing the images in front of her to blur until she could no longer see. Ana-Maria dropped to her knees, an emotional wreck.
"Ana."
She looked up, daring to wipe her eyes again. He was still there; still deceivingly real. Her captain held out a hand to help her up, and she took it. It was solid and real, but there was something strange about it. Something that just wasn't quite right. Then he took her in his arms and she forgot the strangeness. His arms around her, he murmured comforts into her ears, desperate to stop her tears.
"It's all right, luv. I'm here; it's all right. I'll always be here. You have my word on that." As she regained control, she pulled away from him slightly and looked him in the eyes. Her voice, when she spoke, sounded hoarse and choked up, and it was a struggle to get the words out.
"Jack, 'M sorry I didn't tell ye sooner. I should've told ye... I should 'ave let ye know..." Ana-Maria trailed off, unable to speak further. The tears threatened to fall again, but she resisted them. She stared at Jack, wanting to believe that this was real; that he was still alive. He smiled at her again, and this time it was surprisingly gentle.
"Ana, there's no need t' apologize. I knew, Ana. I knew; there's no fault in not tellin' me; you didn't know what would happen. Y' need t' understand that, luv." She leaned back into Jack's embrace, not caring that it couldn't be real; that he couldn't be here. All that mattered was that he was here. Logic and reason didn't matter now, not as long as he was here.
"Stay 'ere, Jack. Don't go. I don't care if yer jus' my imagination playin' tricks on me. I wan' ye 'ere, Jack. I need ye 'ere." This time it was Jack who pulled away.
"You know that's not how it works, luv. You need t' get on with your life. The Pearl needs a captain, an' I don't think Gibbs, as good a man as he is, would be too keen t' take that position." She shook her head, resisting the urge to slap him. There was just something wrong with slapping a dead man. Still her eyes burned with anger and hurt; although far more hurt than anger.
"Th' Pearl needs ye, Jack! She's your ship! I'm not meant t' be her captain!" Jack placed a finger on her lips, cutting off any further argument. His eyes were bright with something other than their usual sparkle.
"Ana, that wasn't a request. I'm ordering you t' take charge of the Pearl. I couldn't bear t' think of anyone else commandin' 'er. Don't question my orders, luv." A sudden sound startled both of them, and Jack suddenly looked like he was in a hurry. The crew would be returning soon, and he would have to be gone by the time they arrived. Ana reached up and touched his cheek, trying to ascertain just how real he was.
"Jack, please don' go..." Jack looked at her, his eyes filled with different emotions, sadness and regret dominant. Her took her hand off of his cheek and held it in his own, and a sad smile crossed his face once more.
"I have to, luv: I've got no choice in th' matter. Bu' before I go..." Then, quite unexpectedly, he leaned towards her and kissed her. It was a strong kiss, and Ana-Maria's eyes closed in reflex, but while her eyes were still closed Jack pulled out of their embrace and broke off the kiss.
When she opened her eyes, she was alone. Jack was nowhere to be seen, and she was left just as heartbroken and torn as she had been before. Then the tears came again, and this time there was no one there to calm her. But something was different: the guilt she had held over not telling him her feelings was gone. Still, it didn't change the fact that she felt utterly alone.
-Fin-