The Shark and The Weasel

Standard Disclaimers Apply

Summary: Kisame and his poor attempts to molest Itachi. Will he succeed or die the most painful death? Kisame fan (if there's any) keep out!

Warning: Be scare, very scare of Kisame's perverse imagination. Homosexuality. *No flame*

Note: Nope! This is NOT a KisamexItachi fic. Sure, I'm insane but not insane enough to try any of that. I love Itachi ways too much!

Chapter I: Who would have thought...

Cough. Cough.

The sound caught Kisame's attention. He looked around if there's someone following them. No. There's no one. Maybe it was just his imagination. And having decided so, Kisame continued on his way through the thick forest. It wouldn't be long before the sun set and he would finally have a rest.

Cough. Cough.

That sound again. This time Kisame was sure it wasn't just his imagination. "Itachi-san, did you hear-"

Cough. Cough.

Now Kisame realized it wasn't someone following them, for the sound he heard was coming right from Itachi himself. Who would have thought the great, stoic, poker face badass, Uchiha Itachi would ever catch a cold. This was really amusing. Kisame grinned, fluttering his gills. Itachi glared at him. Regularly, he would have stopped grinning madly and made some stupid apologies by now but...

Cough. Cough.

Kisame's grin widened. It was unlikely to see Uchiha Itachi like this. Oh...look, how his smooth white cheeks puffed up when he coughed. His pale face flushed and turned red like rose as if he was blushing. Who would have thought Itachi could look this cute and...

Inviting.

Kisame began to over-flood himself with saliva since he was drooling too much at the image of Itachi writhing underneath him. Those long dark bangs plastered on his sweaty forehead while some of them fell into his red eyes that were glazed from the passion he received. His enticing lips parted and his breath rasped as he begged him in his sweetest voice for more pleasure...

"Kisame. Hurry up." Itachi's sharp voice cut him from his daydreaming and Kisame would have swung his enormous Samehada at him for such rude interruption had it been someone else but Itachi. Because if he killed him, his wildest fantasy would never come true. Not that he could really kill Itachi. Actually, if they fought, Itachi would easily beat the ass out of him. To get Itachi under him and show him his passion, he had to come up with a good plan. And a good plan needed a smart planner, which Kisame decided was no other than him himself.

The sun was setting, leaving a red hue at the edge of the sky. It was getting dark and the duo had found themselve a suitable space for camping. After a fire was set up, Itachi tossed his partner a quick glance before he lay down and went to sleep. Since Itachi wasn't feeling well, it had to be Kisame playing the guard role. Usually, he would complain but Itachi would just shut him up. But this time he didn't mind at all because it was a good chance to stare at his beautiful partner without being noticed and it was also a good time for him to think of his perfect plan.

Soon Itachi would be his. And he would learn the real meaning of pleasure. The shark-like man began to laugh uncontrollably. His gills fluttered with excitement. Soon, Itachi, soon...

TBC

Mwahahaha! Scary enough? If not, I hope to see you again in the next chapter aka Kisame's first plan! And let's see if I can make the chapter longer, ne?

Review, pretty please! *No flame*