Dismal Angel 2010 - Episode 15
Chapter 2: Very Little Emotion
When the X-Men arrived back to the Mansion they were surprised to find four unconscious clones in their foyer, and even more surprised to find one completely dead clone in Jean Grey's bedroom. Monet had said nothing but simply slipped off to her room intent on sleeping the next few days off. Many of the X-Men had followed that example.
Scott and Bobby had taken the clones out of the mansion, no one else had bothered to ask where they'd been put or what had been done with them, and no one cared. No one ever wanted to see the clones of Remy again and sometimes even seeing Remy there, they seemed a little jarred.
Rogue found herself in her private en-suite bathroom, running the hot water and pouring bubble bath. She was looking forward to soaking away most of her aches and pains and relaxing for what would be the first time in days. It was strange how her own bedroom and bathroom seemed so much more grand and exquisite since the return to the mansion. She'd lived there for so long, she'd forgotten how lucky she was to have lived in comfort and safety.
She couldn't have imagined spending two years within the walls of that prison such as Lorna Dane and the others had. How long had Remy spent there, she wondered? She didn't feel he was ready to be questioned about it yet. He seemed tender. It was the end of something that he'd been involved with for what seemed to be a very long time – almost the seven years he'd been gone if this matched up with his criminal record on the global criminal database. That was a chilling thought.
What drove him to it? She wondered. She knew there must have been a catalyst somewhere. She unbuttoned the orange coveralls carefully, and slipped it off her shoulders and gazed at herself in the mirrored wall that surrounded three sides of the bathtub. The bruises there were worse than she'd expected. Her ribs and stomach were black and blue, there were smaller bruises elsewhere that must have been gained through her manual labour. There were some tiny burns near her neck she had not noticed before, she realised they'd probably resulted from the MX2Beetle. "Damn…" she sucked in a breath, it looked as painful as it felt that was for sure.
But this was for Remy, she told herself softly, it's worth it…
She let herself relax as much as she could for the time being. She was home, and Remy was in the building and that was good enough for her at the moment.
Kitty had been exhausted but when she'd taken a quick shower and climbed into bed, sleep had not come. She got up to wander around the halls. Her body ached but she didn't care, it was good to be home, and it was nice to re-appreciate the luxury of the mansion once again.
She was surprised to run into Remy in the hallway, he apparently hadn't been able to sleep either, although he looked as if he might be in dire need of it.
"Whoah…" Kitty said, "I didn't think you'd still be up."
"Can't sleep," Remy gave a soft chuckle, "must be the comfort of the bed. See I'm used to hanging from a wall…" he explained.
Kitty looked at him, "I can fix some warm milk…that might help?"
"I guess we could try it," Remy shrugged. "How've you been, Petit?"
Kitty smiled, it was nice to hear him call her by that old nickname. It felt familiar, and reminded her of their bond. "I've been…well, I don't know, these last few weeks I've done NOTHING but look for you so…I don't know how I am…but…I feel better."
Remy seemed to have something on the tip of his tongue as they headed down the staircase, into the foyer and towards the kitchen, he did not say anything, he seemed to be biting on his words.
"I…I don't think I'll ever really be over my parents deaths," Kitty said, realising what he wanted to ask about, "but…your being there…kind of helped more than anything else did…" she said softly.
Remy smiled a little, "glad to know I was of some comfort, even if it was only lettin' you stay in my shitty apartment."
Kitty stepped into the kitchen and turned on the light, "Remy…I gotta ask…" she said softly, "what happened that night…?"
Remy looked away, "I…I've spent so long mullin' over what happened, that…I'd rather not think about it…just for one night…if that's alright?" he asked, "I promise…if y' got any questions, I'll answer them in time, but…I'm a little raw right now…I think we all are…and I need to think of anything but Genosha…okay?"
Kitty nodded, "okay…" she reached her hand into the fridge by phasing it in, she pulled out the milk, "Remy…can I ask a question?" she asked softly.
"As long as it's not related in any way to Genosha, Illinois…or any of my previous convictions which no doubt you've probably found out about by now if you managed to find me in Genosha," he stated.
Kitty chuckled, "No…it's not about that," she said, using a shyer tone, "it's…about well…guys."
"Kitty, you're, what, twenty-two?" Remy asked as he sat at the table.
Kitty pulled a pot out of a small cupboard, "Twenty-three," she replied.
"Surely you know about guys by now," he pointed out.
"Of course I do, but I don't know about EVERY guy…and besides…there are just some things I just DON'T know about all guys…but…you might have some insight. You're a guy after all," she reminded.
"Last time I checked, I was," Remy stated. "If not I'm definitely wearin' the wrong underwear."
Kitty gave a soft laugh, "seriously, can I ask you this question or not?" she poured some milk into the pot and put it on the stove, turning the gas on.
"Fire away," Remy stated, he toyed absently with a salt shaker on the kitchen table.
"Okay…well…there's this guy I like."
"Piotr," Remy said without even pausing to think about it.
Kitty gaped, "how did you—I mean…when…I don't---huh?"
"Don't be stupid, Kitty, that look you gave him when we were gettin' on the blackbird, it was obvious. I can see what the problem is too, he's obviously as thick as shit and doesn't know you like him, right?"
Kitty folded her arms, "you astound me," she looked at him in awe.
"It's a gift," Remy shrugged, "so…you want advice how to get his undivided attention?"
"Well…yeah, kinda," Kitty blushed.
Remy remained silent for a moment, "I'd advise being yourself, in that case, don't be overly obvious, because, it's the unsexiest thing in the world when a girl is waaaaaaay too obvious," he explained.
Kitty sat down, "how so?"
"It just is, it's like desperation. If you see someone desperate to be with you it can be kind of jarring," Remy stated. "Instead of just dropping hints – like you were on the jet – which by the way, I heard – try just coming out with something straight…you're not good enough at flirting to pull off the 'I'm gonna take a hot steamy bath' routine either," he smirked.
"You're such a shit, you were listening?!" Kitty smacked his arm.
"Yeah, well, Rogue had stopped talking after a while, and I'd run out of things to say," he shrugged.
"How are you and Rogue coping…you gonna get back together?" Kitty asked.
"I don't see it," Remy stated, "it's like I told you back in Illinois, petit. We got too much history…too many things went wrong that will keep getting brought up with crisis calls, and you know with us it always does," he looked away, a great sadness growing in his intense eyes.
"Yeah, I know," Kitty got up and stirred the milk that was warming in the pan, "but it's just…I see you guys together, and you just seem so…meant to be…you both want to be together, and they always say love conquers all, why not just go for it and see what happens?"
"Because I don't think I can take one more breakup, petit. I think it'd be the end of me, seriously," he said softly.
Kitty stopped, "huh?"
"Petit…I love her…with all my heart…I saw the look on her face when she first saw me back here, she looked so distraught, as if her heart was being torn. I never want to be the one to make her face look like that again…I never wanna cause anyone that much hurt. It killed a part of me when I had to go…been feelin' like half a man ever since. And I was never a whole man to begin with. I think if I did that to her again, even not meaning to – I'd lose what little emotion I have left…"
Kitty poured milk into a cup for him and put it down on the table for him, "I think there's a lot more emotion in you than you really believe."
Remy took a sip of the milk and winced, he'd never been a fan of warm milk. "I think I know myself better than anyone," he responded.
"That's where you're wrong," Kitty poured herself a cup and sat down opposite him, "see, you're so used to seeing yourself in the same way that you can't see yourself in the ways that others can…" she reached over and tenderly touched his hand. "When I see you I see this awesome guy who I really look up to as a friend, you put everything aside to be with me when I really needed you. You had enough courtesy to push me away when I kissed you – and you could have taken FULL advantage if you were a guy with very little emotion…you wouldn't have saved all those mutants on Genosha…wouldn't have saved humans from extinction for crying out loud…if you had very little emotion…you've done so many awesome things because of all this emotion."
Remy put his hand to his eyes, he had to cover the tears that were forming there, he pursed his lips together tightly, "I'm not that guy…" he sobbed.
Kitty got up, "if you're a guy with very little emotion, then why are you crying?" she asked.
"I'm not…" he lied, trying to stubbornly wipe his tears. "I'm just losing my mind."
"Like you ever had it to begin with," Kitty said, deadpan. And it was just the right thing to say, for it was the first time she'd heard him laugh so heartily in a very long time.