Dismal Angel 2010 - Episode 15
Chapter 6: I'm Sorry
Piotr returned within the hour, soaking wet and his expression downcast. Rogue and Kitty had been waiting patiently in the hallway, Rogue keeping her fingers crossed that soon Remy might come running through those doors to embrace her fiercely and tell her he loved her. But when Piotr came through that door, she knew that it was unlikely. The last remnants of hope she'd had were scattered like grains of sand, and were blowing away with the pain.
"I tried to stop him from going," Piotr stated softly, "But, I am afraid I could not do anything, he had made up his mind…"
Rogue put her hands to her face and let out a sob, she could not speak, no words would express the grief. She'd lost him again.
"He told me to tell you he is sorry…but it is for the best," Piotr said, he moved over and put a large hand on her shoulder.
Rogue pulled away, "leave me alone," she sobbed, and ran upstairs to be alone, right now she didn't want to be with anyone.
Kitty sighed, she heard Rogue's bedroom door slamming loudly. "All this hard work in trying to reunite them only to see them break further apart…" she sighed, "It's so depressing I could cry…I really hoped that this might all be resolved."
Piotr sat upon the stairs and ran his fingers through his neat yet wet black hair, "He is a fool to give her up…"
"I shouldn't have sent you after him," Kitty decided, "that's maybe a little pushy, he certainly wouldn't want to come back now…"
Piotr paused for a moment, deep in thought, "it is his decision if he wishes to leave or stay, we cannot do that for him…but I do think he is making the biggest mistake of his life if he continues down the road he's going. But he must learn that on his own."
Kitty remained quiet, deep in thought about unrequited love. Almost as if he were sensing her thoughts, Piotr suddenly brought the subject up, "have you ever loved someone so much but known you could never be with them?"
Kitty drew in a deep breath, her heart stopped for a moment, then began to beat at an odd rhythm, "why?"
"I am curious…" Piotr answered softly.
"Well…" Kitty sighed, she decided to bring it up, it wasn't like he might catch on it was him. She'd done everything she could to hint to the fact and he hadn't figured it out yet. "There was this one guy…every time I see him my heart feels like it's going to explode if I don't tell him…but every time I try…" Kitty turned and looked at him, "I stumble on the words and can't get it out…"
"I see…" Piotr remarked, keeping his eyes on her, "how long has this been going on…?" he was looking at her so curiously that it made Kitty feel almost slightly uncomfortable.
"It was always a crush," Kitty added, "but…when y—I mean he---joined the X-Men some time ago…it started to get serious…"
"Mmm," Piotr nodded, paying close. There was something about the way he was there sitting, listening that made her wonder if he was half expecting something.
"And now, I see Rogue…and Remy, so much in love, and yet so unreciprocated, that…it almost breaks my heart, and I just…wonder if maybe…that's going to end up being me, and y—this guy…" Kitty swallowed nervously, she ran her fingers through her short brown hair, her eyes gazing up at him.
"Hmm," Piotr said nothing for some moments.
Why is he looking at me like that? Kitty pondered, she began to feel strangely uncomfortable in his presence. What's going on in that big thick skull of his?
After some moments, Piotr finally spoke. "I think…if you feel this strongly - and it's quite obvious that you do – then you should swallow your fears…and tell him."
"It's harder than it seems," Kitty sighed, "I mean y—I mean this guy—he like…travels just about all the time…and once I tell him it might be like 'okay, thanks for sharing' and then he ups and disappears again for months at a time…and…then what if I tell him and he's like 'I don't like you THAT way' and thinks I should be with my old boyfriend Kurt and…god…so many things could just go so wrong…"
"How will you ever know until you tell him though?" Piotr asked, "there could be a slight chance this man may have been holding feelings for you, he might have been the type of man who thought perhaps you were beautiful and sweet, but thought you were maybe too good for him or that you never noticed him or that maybe he just never could have believed that a good friend could have felt this way for him – there could be a million different reasons why…but you will never know until you find it in yourself to tell m—uh, him."
"Hmm?" Kitty asked, looking at him, not quite understanding.
"Tell him," Piotr encouraged.
Kitty fell into silence, how could she? He still seemed so oblivious to what she was trying to say, why was it he never seemed to get those hints? Was it that he didn't have enough knowledge of the English language to see flirting when it was right there? She didn't know. "I…should probably go check on Rogue," she stood up and hopped up two of the steps.
"One more thing before you go…" Piotr said, which made Kitty stop abruptly in her tracks and turned.
Kitty looked at him with her wide curious sapphire eyes, he reached out tenderly towards her taking bother her arms, leading them around his neck, "mmm…what are you doing?" she asked, not fully understanding his actions.
"Making the leap that you just can't seem to…and sometimes even when you don't think so, actions speak louder than the words that have so much trouble getting out…" he replied softly and he leaned in and brushed his lips against hers.
Rogue sighed, she stared over the banister down into the foyer where at the bottom steps, Kitty and Piotr were kissing softly. An ache came about within her that still made her jealous of those who were able to kiss and probably never fully appreciated the simplicity of it, the wonderfulness of touch.
Despite Remy had left her for good, she still found a touch of emotion left to feel happy for Kitty. Kitty really seemed to have deeper feelings for Piotr than she'd realised at first, but now, Piotr seemed quite open to that and Rogue smiled a little through her tears.
At least someone's found a happy ending, she thought sadly. Rogue felt like a walk in the rain to wash away some of those tears, to cool her puffy face. She exited through the nearest window, which led her to the back driveway, she landed softly upon the ground and began to walk slowly, still aching.
It almost seemed as if the pain she'd received from the Genosha ordeal was all that she had left of Remy LeBeau now. That pain reminded her of how vulnerable she had been – and in some way still was. That pain reminder her of how human she was and that was the only small comfort she had.
The sky was so dark now despite it was only around five pm. The rain came down heavily, curtains of it so thick she could barely see anything around her, it bounced off the driveway like a thick mist, and it was so loud it seemed to drown out everything else from her hearing.
She wondered where she might pick up the pieces of her life before Remy had come back once again. Things had been fine, she'd been happy again, although something had always been missing and now she understood it had always been Remy that had left her empty.
I should have tried harder to make him stay…maybe I was a bit too desperate, she thought. The guy has issues…and I probably wasn't helping him by telling him I loved him…looked as if he barely loved himself anymore let alone anyone else…
A chill swept over the estate, and Rogue hugged herself in her dress, she was soaked through completely, her long hair straight and dripping. A feeling built up within her, it had been a long time since she'd felt that way, as if her heart were rising up in her chest and beginning to beat once again. A familiar scent crossed the air, mixed with the smell of the rain in the trees of the woods. It was like cologne. The cologne Remy wore.
Rogue closed her eyes, and breathed it in. That scent she'd always connected to him. It was so close by her. It must have hung around in the air after he'd left. That smell that defined him, filled her senses, reminded her of being up close against him. That scent had never changed in nine years, from the minute he'd joined the X-Men and she'd first noticed it to this very moment, it still smelled the same, and it lifted her heart ever so slightly.
"I'm sorry."
Rogue's kept her eyes closed, she was not sure if this was some kind of hallucination or not, but she'd heard his voice, and as remained deep in the reverie and drowning in his scent she felt his arms wrapping around her from behind, being ever so tender, as if he sensed where every bruise and ache was and was trying hard not to hurt her, she felt her body sink into his, she opened her eyes and looked down to see his arms there, the threadbare material of that god awful coat that must have been as old as he was – the same coat that had been worn by the injured clone. But this wasn't a clone this time.
Tears broke free from her eyes, tears of joy. She wasn't imagining this, he was there, he was real, it was his arms wrapped around her. He was trembling in the rain, just like she was now.
"I'm so sorry, Chere…" he murmured near her ear, a half sob escaped his lips, "I'm so…so…sorry."
(The end! Or is it? DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN – thanks to my favourite readers ishandahalf, Rogue4787 and my crack ho clone-loving freak Aro for the awesome reviews up til now. Hope that satisfies a lot of people – for now. :D)