DISCLAIMER: Not. Mine. Based off of the WIKTT challenge by Arienastera. Challenge guidelines at bottom of Chapter One.

WOE IS WE

Chapter Two: Acclimated

"Stop walking so fast!" Hermione said, out of breath due to her attempts to keep up with the fuming Potions Master. He had been practically dragging her by their 7-odd foot bond. What had been a potions accident had quickly turned into a catastrophe- classes were out for the day, but she had a party to attend. Hermione was becoming impatient with the mishap."Try to keep up, Miss Granger, unless I'm to discover that your tendency to excel does not extend into the athletic arena."

Though she knew he had just delivered a compliment in disguise, she was livid. "Pardon me... Professor," she said, winded and jogging to keep up, "but I don't think now... is the time to be... flinging insults."

Much to her surprise, he did not respond and instead slowed down slightly. She guessed that he was as winded as she was. Once at the Headmaster's office, Snape quietly mumbled the name of an innocuous sweet and dragged Hermione up the stairs. They found the bearded wizard facing the door with a tray of tea for three already prepared. He spoke first.

"Severus, Miss Granger, you look winded. Didn't take the floo?"

"Considering our current state," Snape said, gesturing to the empty space between himself and Hermione, "I didn't think it wise without first knowing the possible repercussions. I assume, sir, that you already know what's happened?"

"Yes, young Mister Longbottom had the foresight to let his Head of House know, and I was informed."

Dumbledore poured and served tea out of courteous habit, and motioned to the chairs in front of him. Snape went to sit down, and Hermione, who was only about four feet away, was pulled down with him.

"Ouch!" She yelped from her position on the floor, looking up angrily at Snape. Snape turned to the Headmaster and frowned.

"Albus, we could get a full five paces away from one another not twenty minutes ago. When we were heading here, it was shortened to about three paces. Now, it would seem that I am exuding pull on Miss Granger not two paces from her."

"Perhaps it's simply your animal magnetism, Severus," Dumbledore said, struggling not to smile. Hermione blanched at the idea- and at the supposition that the distance between her an the git next to her could be decreasing.

"How do we fix this?" She piped up, finally righting herself onto her chair with no help from her Professor.

"I'm afraid, Miss Granger, that this is not an easy fix. As Professor Snape here already knows, the potion was compromised, and we have no way of knowing just how long these effects will last, or whether your 'bond' will stabilize, as it were. Unfortunately, this is something we will have to overcome with more practical means."

"Practical means? What do you- I mean, this was an advanced potion meant to be a magical adhesive, for crying out loud! Surely there is a way to spell it away?"

"Sadly, you are right again, Granger. Magical adhesive; permanent magical adhesive, to be more precise. Unless we can reverse brew Longbottom's lovely mistake, there's no way I can find an antidote. Spell for a spell, potion for a potion- yes, there are exceptions, but the spells that one might use to reverse a bonding potion are effective on a correctly brewed potion, not a Longbottom Disaster. Only a potion will fix this, and I don't have it."

He emphasized the last few words very harshly, nodding his head in quick succession, making his hair move in even further to block his face. Hermione choked down a giggle at the thought of his resemblance to a bobbing pigeon. There was a long pause as all parties thought up solutions.

"Our clothes," Snape said suddenly, head snapping up. He stood up, again jerking Hermione to her feet and gaining an outraged curse from her, and repeated himself. "Our clothes, bloody hell, that's it."

"I'm sorry?" Hermione stopped glaring at him long enough to examine her clothes, realizing what her Professor meant. Her robes and skin still had clumps of the gooey, yellowish substance caked to them.

"The potion-"

Both Hermione and Snape pulled out their wands immediately, casting cleansing charms at themselves and on their robes. A minute later Dumbledore was checking them over.

"Is it all off?" Hermione asked, now about two and a half feet from Snape and likely to stay that far away. He looked up at her with an indecipherable look on his face and frowned, as though he had just made a regrettable decision.

"One way to find out," he said, taking off his cloak and unbuttoning his sleeves, trying to roll them up. "Check the spots where the potion was. You may have missed whatever was under your robes."

Dumbledore stood and smiled at the awkward situation. "Ah, well, seeing as how you may need to check other areas, I'll show you to the latrines."

Hermione blanched, sure by now that her face would never regain color, and Snape mumbled something about losing his job. Once in the restroom, they stood back to back as they finished cleaning the potion off of their skin. Hermione found some caked in her hair and on her abdomen, much to her chagrin. Getting her hair tame was no easy task and she would have a difficult time of washing it later tonight-

Oh, dear Merlin. She suddenly realized that she would have to be in this horrible, bitter man's vicinity all of the time. She put her robes back on and broke the heavy silence permeating the tension in the room.

"Professor?"

"What is it?" He snapped, quickly adding, "Are you decent yet, Miss Granger?"

"Yes, I am. Um, I was just wondering..." She turned to face him, noting that just one long stride would cover the distance between them. She began to step back as a reflex, but stopped suddenly when she remembered their predicament. Snape was looking at her as though she had spouted horns.

"Are you going to stand there like a deer caught in headlights, Granger, or are you going to finish your no doubt insignificant question?"

She flinched at his unwavering cruelty and blurted out what she had been dreading since the implications of this mistake dawned on her. "Where are we going to sleep?"

He paused and avoided her eyes, his endless trail of insults seeming to falter with the shocking question. "Well, I suppose my quarters will do, seeing as how having a Professor, and a Slytherin no less, walking into the Gryffindor common room accompanied by the Head Girl would raise some eyebrows," he finished by raising his own eyebrow, and looking at Hermione as though she were an unwanted growth.

"Right. Well, then," she paused, sighing. Snape stared at her and she stared back. Soon enough, his staring turned into glaring which developed into glowering and Hermione wondered how hard she'd have harry and Ron laughing if they knew-

"Oh no! Harry and Ron! I've got to get back to the common room!"

"I beg your pardon, Granger? I've just gone over what would happen-"

"I know! That doesn't matter, I mean, it does, well- I can explain things to them, it's just- today's my birthday, Professor! I'm expected, and I'm late!" She began to move towards the door, not giving Snape time to protest, but he stopped her in her tracks by planting his more significant weight stubbornly in place. She fell back, and Snape immediately felt a twinge of regret- or was it satisfaction?- for making the lithe girl stumble onto the floor so ungracefully. She landed at his feet, her back supported by his legs.

"I'll not be going to any birthday celebrations in the near future, Miss Granger. If you'd like, I'll have the house elves bake you up a cake and you can eat it on your own time- you look like you need it. In any case-"

"You're a bastard." It was little more than a whisper, but sufficient to gain the cynical man's attention.

"Excuse-?"

"You heard me," she said, quite a bit louder. She turned to face her antagonist from her lower tier on the floor, "I cannot believe you would keep me cooped up, doing whatever dreary activities you might indulge in, on my eighteenth birthday! It should seem believable, considering, but honestly! You're-"

"That's quite enough, Miss Granger." Snape looked angry, stern, horrible in every way Hermione could remember seeing him. She knew she was defeated, and hung her head to study the detail in the carpet. Suddenly, Snape wrapped his hands under her arms and hoisted her to her feet, surprisingly gentle for... well, for Snape. "You may make a short appearance at your party, but 'urgent Head Girl business' will call you away within thirty minutes. Am I understood?"

She smiled, "Yes. What of explaining our- situation?"

"There will be no need," he said, looking slightly perturbed, "I will fetch the Headmaster's invisibility cloak."

"He has one?!"

"Think about it, Granger- how else would he know quite so much as he does?"

Hermione grinned as she followed her enigmatic Potions Professor out of the latrine.

Who would've known?

Author's notes: Updating as quick as I can! :) Chapters will get longer!