Gift

Chapter Thirteen

Explanations

            Wesley walked into the office behind Angel and found Illyria pouting in a chair, bound by several ropes.  Wesley had no doubt that Illyria could break them if Angel made her truly angry, but that emotion seemed to be reserved for Wesley specifically.

"Illyria, I thought we had a discussion about laying low."

"I no longer care about laying low.  I am surprised that you even noticed that the half-breed had captured me."

"Of course I noticed.  It's hard not to notice when my ancient blue haired demon goddess is no where to be found."

"You were missing your pet, perhaps?"

Angel broke into the seemingly lovers' quarrel with a growl.  "As entertaining as watching you two fight over each other, I want to know why Illyria is still alive."

Wesley faced Angel, his eyes narrowed into slits, betrayed blue eyes glittering at him.

"She is alive because she has lost as much as the rest of us.  Illyria has nothing and no one and she can't really hurt anyone anyhow.  She's strong, but she's adapting into the human world as best she can, which is more than I can say for you."

"She can't really hurt anyone?  What about what she did to Fred, eating Fred's soul from the inside?"

"I believe you have something to say about Fred's death.  Illyria had no control over whose body she was put in."

"What are you talking about, Wes?  I'm not responsible for Fred's death.  I tried to save her."

Wesley rolled his eyes and walked towards Illyria, no longer interested in looking at the vampire he should have staked so long ago.  If he had staked Angel when he had arrived at Sunnydale, this whole situation wouldn't exist.  No, because then he wouldn't have met Fred.  If he had staked Angel when they'd brought him back as Angelus a year ago, there would have been no problem and he would have gotten Fred.  Wesley knelt in front of Illyria, loosening the bonds that kept her to the chair.

"You are responsible.  Did you think we wouldn't find out?  About the reason you took this 'partnership' with Wolfram and Hart?  You signed our lives away, Gunn's, Lorne's, mine, Fred's!  Fred's the one that was punished for your selfish desire for power and prestige.  You fed us some rot about being able to stop the evil coming from the company, but that was never your goal, was it?  You wanted to mess with our minds and activate that poor innocent boy's powers for some unknown reason."

Angel seemed shocked at the amount of anger pouring out from Wesley.  He knew Wesley didn't trust him, he knew Wesley was helping Illyria.  But the conclusions Wesley had come up with were so far-fetched, or at least far-fetched for what Angel would do.  He wasn't evil or particularly scheming. 

"Do you have any idea what it was like to hold Fred while she was dying, Angel?  As she cried out and shivered and faded into non-existence, begging me to tell everyone how brave she was, as she wondered why she had to leave so soon.  She was so frail and alone, even though I was with her.  I want to know why you signed our lives away.  I want to know why you had Connor Johnson's powers activated by that convergence that Wolfram and Hart initiated when you agreed to take over this branch."

Angel's mind was racing.  As angry as Wesley was, as intelligent as he was with what he'd put together, he hadn't quite pieced together the puzzle.  So Angel could get out of the situation without telling Wesley about Connor.  About his own son.  He started to wonder what he should say, what lies he could come up with, but his thoughts were interrupted.

"Tell me about Fred last.  I want you to look me in the eye and tell me why you saw fit to sacrifice her.  But first tell me about Connor Johnson."

The door burst open and Connor stepped into view.

"Yes, tell me about my powers, Dad."

            Angel was clearly floored.  Connor gauged his reaction at the word Dad.  Angel flinched as though the word hurt him, but he didn't speak.  It seemed like he was unable to.  Wesley straightened, the ropes falling from his hands.  He seemed completely surprised at Connor's presence, but even more surprised by the word Connor had tossed in.  Liberty stood behind Connor; their hands still clasped tightly, almost a direct line of strength to the boy.  Angel sighed and motioned for Connor to come on into the office.  Connor sat down cautiously, eyeing Angel with a mistrust deeply rooted inside.  Who could blame him?

"How did you find out, Connor?"

"I had a chat with my dear roommate, Brennen.  You know, the friend you hired for me."

"I never hired a friend."

"No, that's right.  It was Lilah Morgan."

Wesley's eyes widened at the mention of Lilah.  He turned questioningly to Angel.

"Lilah was involved with all this?  She was dead."

"She still is, involved and dead.  She pops up occasionally; she was in charge of protecting my son.  Connor."

"You don't have a son, Angel, I would remember."

Angel shook his head.  "Actually, you wouldn't.  That was part of the deal.  No one except me would remember Connor's true origins.  Oh, and Cordelia remembered, since she was in that coma during the time of the nationwide brainwash.  We removed any memories you had of Connor and implanted memories of Connor to the other family and friends and neighbors.  It was to protect you, Connor."

"To protect me?  From what?  An apocalypse?  My mother?  What am I, Angel?  Have I always had these powers?  Was the convergence not really a convergence?"

            "The convergence was the brain tweaking Wolfram and Hart had done.  You always had the powers, Connor.  You just didn't remember having them."
           "Why did you do this?"  Connor sounded hurt.  His face seemed to fall with every sentence spoken.  Angel leaned against his desk, becoming almost eye level with Connor.  He didn't know how to find the words to explain everything to Connor.  For all he knew, after Connor found out the truth, he would find the nearest sporting goods store and hook up some homemade bombs to the nearest patrons to end his life, just like he had before.  Everything he did for Connor seemed to blow up in face, literally and figuratively.  He wasn't sure if he would be able to live with Connor's complete and utter abhorrence.  Not again.  It'd broken his heart the first time.

"It started three years ago.  My sire, Darla, was in town after being brought back from the dead again.  I was in a dark place then.  A very dark place-"

Angel tried to speak diplomatically as he told Connor the whole story; his birth, Wesley's betrayal, Connor's return, his tumultuous relationship with Cordelia, Angel, even Lorne.  He wrapped it up, "You were going to kill a bunch of people, Connor. You were so angry.  So confused.  This was the only way I knew how to fix it.  You were supposed to have a normal life, a happy one.  I wanted to fix everything for you.  You weren't supposed to return to Wolfram and Hart a few months later wondering where you got your superpowers.  That wasn't part of the deal."

Connor didn't speak.  The whole story seemed unreal.  The whole day seemed surreal.  Connor didn't know how to react.  Was there a right way to react to finding out you were the accidental love child of two evil vampires? 

Wesley couldn't speak either.  He seemed as shocked as Connor.  The thought of him betraying everyone he cared for because of a fake prophecy was outrageous.  Guilt flooded him for betraying Angel as the rage at Angel for lying to them washed away.  He felt eyes on him, Illyria's.  She was studying him.  Probably enjoyed the chance to see a lower being crushed.  It was too much for him.  He hurried out of the room, unable to look anyone in the eye.  What kind of person was he that he would betray his best friend or best business partner by stealing his child? 

Liberty finally voiced the question that Connor had been wondering.  "Did anyone else know about this, Angel?  About Connor's identity?"  Angel didn't seem inclined to turn anyone in, but it was obvious others had known.

"Lilah knew, of course.  The Senior Partners.  And, well, Spike."

Liberty jumped to her feet as Spike's deceit hit her.  Spike had known the whole time?  She had poured her soul out to him, all her fears and worries about Angel and Spike had pretended not to know.  Spike had lied to her.  Spike probably didn't even like her.  He was probably just there to spy on her. 

"Spike knew?"

"Well, yeah.  He saw Connor and said that he looked like a mini-Angelus.  Which you kind of do, Connor."

Liberty couldn't stop the tears from welling up.  She thought she had found people she could trust, but who had she been kidding?  First Angel and now Spike.  Spike.  Spike was like her best friend.  She had trusted him so fully.  He had a soul, so he was good.  Yeah, well, apparently souls didn't matter.  Liberty stormed away just as Spike entered with a loud, "Peaches, they're getting closer-"

He stopped when he saw Liberty, tears in her eyes.  "Pet, what's wrong?"

"Don't talk to me, Spike.  Ever again."

She hit his chest with a heavy thump.  "Be glad I don't have a stake with me."

Spike glanced at Angel, who almost looked sympathetic.  Almost.  Then, Spike looked down to see Connor's face and knew then. They already knew who Connor was.  And Liberty knew what Spike had done. 

"Bloody Hell, Peaches, you could have given me some warnin'."

Liberty was already gone when he turned back to the hall.  "Liberty, wait.  Please, love."  But he was far too late.  She was halfway down the corridor; her back facing him, the only sign that she'd heard him was a slight pause.

Lorne strolled down the hallway towards Angel's office, whistling a Jessica Simpson song.  He'd just had a lovely meeting with her.  Who knew she was really a Jenelish demon?  He continued his journey, but found himself crashing into Liberty.

"Hey, cupcake, I haven't seen you lately.  What have you been up to?"

"The usual.  Work.  Betrayal.  Lies."  Lorne studied her face after that cheerful answer and saw that her cheeks were stained with tears.  He offered his arms and Liberty fell into them, pain seeping into his usually chipper mood.

"What's wrong, crumpet?  What happened?"  Liberty glanced up at Lorne and saw the concern in his red-rimmed eyes.  She sighed.  How much could she tell Lorne?  Apparently he didn't know about Connor, either, as impossible as that seemed since he was an anagogic demon.  The mojo worked on his gift as well. 

"Spike."

"He's not evil again, is he?"
"I wish it were that simple."

"You wish he were evil again.  An evil vampire.  Libby, sweetie pie, why so drastic?"

"I trusted him, you know?  I thought since he had a soul, he was good.  I was wrong, obviously.  My whole life I've been weary of people.  I've never been able to trust anyone fully, never been able to participate in life fully.  I thought I'd found my place, here at Wolfram and Hart, with people who knew me and knew about my gift, and saw it as that, not a curse or a make-believe story.  But I don't belong here.  Because everyone here stabs each other in the back just as in the other world I live in, the 'real' world."

Lorne squeezed Liberty's shoulders and shook his head.  He looked confused.  Rightfully so.  He had no idea what was going on.  She didn't want to have to explain it.  She didn't want to see his heart break when he found out the truth of everything that had been going on.  She'd already witnessed Connor's heartbreak and Wesley's.  She had felt her own.  She couldn't take anymore. 

"Sing a little tune for me, then.  I'll see if I can help you out."

Liberty paused and she wondered if Lorne would find out by her singing.  He could see everything, the future and probably the past.  He would find out what happened.  But at least she wouldn't have to tell him.

"All right.  I'm not very good."

"I'm sure I've heard worse than you."

"Counting stars wishing I was okay,

Crashing down was my biggest mistake,

I never meant to hurt you,

I only did what I had to,

Counting stars again"

Lorne tilted his head as he studied her carefully.  The look of awareness hit his face and she knew that he knew.  She half expected him to fall down crying or to storm away angry, but then she remembered that this was Lorne.  He'd probably smile and tell her everything would be okay.

"Sugarcult.  Interesting choice.  Maybe you should take those words to heart.  Spike didn't meant to hurt you, cupcake.  He was trying to do what he thought was right.  Even if that meant lying to you."

"So I should just forgive him?  He let me talk to him about my problems and really he was just reporting everything back to Angel."

"I think you should talk to him.  Hear his side of the story."

"Are you going to just forgive Angel?  He messed with your mind and then lied to your face about everything."

"I've seen Angel through some pretty dark times.  I've seen Angel when he was questioning who he was.  I've seen Angel when he was Angelus.  I've seen Angel sing.  I've also seen Angel when he cares about other people and saves them like a knight-in-shining-armor.  I've seen Angel protect the people he loves.  I'm going to see him through this too."

Liberty smiled at Lorne, feeling a little bit better.  She was almost thankful that she'd run into him.  Of all the people she could have run into when she was so upset, he was the best one.  He had successfully calmed her.

"You know, you're pretty amazing, Lorne."

"I'm glad I'm appreciated here, Liberty.  Talk to Spike."

"Okay.  But he has to find me first."

"Hard to get can be fun."

Liberty laughed lightly, her first laugh of the day.  She gave Lorne another hug before heading towards her office.

"Oh, Libby?"
            "Yeah?"

"You and Connor.  It's a beautiful thing."

Liberty beamed, then, as she remembered her first kiss with Connor.  Yes, they were a beautiful thing.  But maybe Lorne meant that it was a more permanent thing.