A/N the song lyrics are by Michelle Branch and here we go......
Chapter 3-Lucius' POV
I was in shock as I left the sitting room having just been tortured after telling my lord of my wife's disappearance. The Dark Lord had not been happy. He had been counting on Narcissa to supports his cause but she escaped with valuable information. I had always watched as he admired my wife's elvish beauty although I never thought he would do anything about it. It seems I was wrong and that in itself angers me. Alternating with series of curses, he told me how he had tried to seduce her, but Narcissa made it hard.
She was a true Slytherin, that I had always known. She possessed cunning and a sly manner that could get her almost anything she ever wanted. She played everyone into her hand, including Voldemort he tells me. She sucked information out of him, his plans, ambitions and beliefs. And then she escaped.
When I first joined Voldemort in my 7th year, I believed in his values and followed his beliefs. Mudbloods were a threat to the Wizarding World as a whole. Purebloods held a certain power in their hands, blood magic, and it was not to be messed with. Wandless magic, purebloods are extremely powerful without their wands. When schools started giving magical educations to muggleborn wizards and witches, pureblood wizards were brought into contact with them and breed.
The results? The magical blood was diluted and the heirs were less powerful. Indeed they were very weak. Muggleborns can memorize spells and wave a wand but when it comes down to it, they are pitiful without their stick of wood. If we keep allowing Muggleborns in the Wizarding World will suffer. But as I said, now my beliefs stray from those of Voldemort. He turned to a monster with a desire to take over the world and a desire to kill everyone who opposes him. And that I don't agree with. But I keep with it anyway, seeing no way out and only self-preservation.
How could I have neglected to notice Narcissa's suffering? Here I thought the world was between the grasp of my fingers and I slipped. I don't deny that when Narcissa was tortured something deep inside of me was touched and the anger at myself began to stir within me. Narcissa's letter left me pale as death even after Draco stormed out of her room.
It's been a long, long time since I looked
Into the mirror I guess that
I was blind
Now my reflection's getting clearer
Now that you're gone
Things will never be the same again
A rush of doubt rushed through me then, what had I done? I knew she would not be coming back to me. Her pale deathly beauty would never grace the Manor again; she would not lie on the cool red silk sheets next to me tonight.
There's not a minute that goes by every
Hour of the day
You're such a part of me
But I just pulled away...
I wish I said the words
I never showed
Her words haunted my faltering footsteps, You need not follow me Lucius, I understand. You disgust me as much as I disgust you. You see, she doesn't disgust me, not at all. I still love her deep down. But I've been taught never to love.
I know you had to go away
I died just a little, and I feel it now
You're the one I need
I believe that I would cry just a little
Just to have you back now
Here with me
Here with me
I never will forget that look upon
Your face
How you turned away and left
Without a trace
But I understand you did what you
Had to do
And I thank you
Here with me
Narcissa was my life at Hogwarts, she was my light, my hope. She was gentle, kind and according to father, the perfect match for me, beautiful, pureblood, powerful, but not more than me. I was never supposed to love her, she was to be my wife not my lover, but I did anyway. And I paid dearly for it. I was tortured at the hands of my father and Lord Voldemort, made to swear loyalty to them and whore myself. I admit not once did I think of refusing their demands or of defying them. They had power, and I craved power more than I craved Narcissa, or so I thought.
You know that silence is loud when all
You hear is your heart...
And I'm asking
And I'm wanting you to come back to me
Please?
A Malfoy never begs, but I've disgraced my name enough to hardly care anymore. No more thoughts of Voldemort or of Death Eater meetings, I need to find Narcissa though she does not want to see me. And for that I need Draco. Surely she would have put more trust into her son than the man that betrayed her.