Book Two: Return

Chapter 17: Catastrophic Phantasm  

An Escaflowne Continuation by Louise Tjandrasjahan

They had reached their hands out to her. Those young boys – with their eyes bleak and empty, and their faces contorted in excruciating pain – had come to her, crying, pleading and grovelling…their bloody hands clawing at her new satin dresses as they screamed out for help. She could head their silent voices echoing inside her head: my master, my lord, don't leave me! Don't let us go!

Celena Schezar heaved her frustration as she threw herself down onto the thick mat of the soft green grass, the tips teasing her skin gently as they swayed to the wind. Closing her eyes, she contemplated what her mind had just seen. Ghosts? Pretty unlikely. Premonition? She had no such talent. Hallucination? May be. 

What happened to her? Ten minutes ago she was still having fun in the Royal Bazaar together with Allen, her beloved brother, and Roja, the red-haired child she took in after the ambush on Fanelia. They had been having so much fun that her stomach had cramped as a result of too much laughing. It had been a nice change from the usual royal protocol that dictates a lady's behaviour, even if it was for a day only. She had been running from stall to stall, admiring the colourful spirit of the festive, and she had been enjoying the many exotic attractions the bazaar had to offer.

That had been when the vision suddenly started. She had been watching this – this fascinating – fire eater when all of sudden, the flame seemed to approach and consume her, ready to burn her into ashes. Her vision had been blackened instantly, but she had been conscious all the time as well. She did not faint. She had been aware of the voices in the background all the time, although she had not felt the people's existence.

She had been floating in a vast black space, going neither upwards nor downwards. The air was chilly despite the threatening flames that kept coming closer to her, the atmosphere surreal. She remembered being very, very small and afraid, her existence insignificant. Reaching out for her brother's hands, she was looking for the safety and protection that her brother would provide her so readily – something she had taken for granted for as long as she could remember.

But she had reached nothing. People had been gone, and the noises had seemed to cease to exist at that moment. Even time had ceased to flow for that agonising minute of her life.

Then it happened.

People yelling a name – the name of a man, she was certain – being in pain, burnt, scalded into death. Ghosts they might be, but Celena had never believed the existence of apparitional being, and refused to acknowledge the notion that ghosts really did exist.

Panic overwhelmed her mind as she seek to banish the revelation from her mind. She had felt claustrophobic, even to the point of hyperventilating, and she had lost her mind the moment she intuitively fled from the wretched place, finding her way out of the suffocating vision. She didn't care about what people thought about her bizarre action – she didn't even consider excusing herself from her brother's presence.

She just ran.                             

How far had she run, that, she didn't know. What she knew was only the fact that she had removed herself so far away from the location where the bazaar was taking place, to the location that she herself had never visited nor heard before. But a familiar fondness ran through her vein the moment she examined her surrounding closely – a scenic and secluded green meadow in which she was able to enjoy the gorgeous panorama of the capital of Asturia, with its sturdy vessels and little boats lined about the active sea bay. The strangeness!

Nonetheless, she would accept what had happened as it had been. Strange happenings were something that she experienced constantly, so used she was with her often unpredictable state of mind.

She had lost her memory from when she was seven year olds to when she was fourteen. There were long periods whereas she would just sit in the garden at Allen's vast estate, looking at nothing in particular but the blurry images in her mind. She remembered trying very hard to grasp her memory back, but horrifying sensation attacked her senses in her every attempt. Allen told her that she had had an accident – a horrible accident that gave her the dent in her head, erasing all her memories of childhood. Alas, she would love it very much to remember her happy childhood with Allen together, to discover the other part of her that disappeared. But she was content with what became her so far, and she was fine about it.

Watching the blue sky high above her head, Celena let out a weak smile as she watched the clouds stirred. Closing her eyes once again, she allowed her imagination to roam, first to reproduce the shapes of the clouds in her head, and then to give the shapes new appearances. It was her favourite part-time activity. It was the only way she could release herself free – from the self-consciousness, the doubts, and the guilt that she harboured towards…she had no idea. The guilt was always there for as long as she could remember, but she didn't know what it was all about.

The clouds were swirling in her head…first they came together, becoming a fluffy shape with the appearance of a cotton candy, and then – to her pleasant surprise – becoming the shape of a head. She concentrated her mind to visualise the head's facial features, but as she continued to focus, the shape of the cloud dissolved into wispy smoke, leaving her anxious and disoriented in her mental pursuit. It had always been like that. She would chase, and the cloud would disappear. She had never had the opportunity to actually uncover that hidden part of her mind.

However this time, fortune seemed to side with her. The wispy cloud that was ready to disappear returned back into its original shape, this time almost distinctly clear. Celena almost mentally whooped in her excitement. May be she would be able to uncover her true self.

She tried her damnedest, but in the end, she was still unable to recognise the features of the person kept appearing in her mind, let out to even distinguish its details. Exhausted to her core, she finally opened her eyes, wincing as the offending warm sunlight blinded her all of sudden. For a minute, she just laid there on the grass, enjoying the sun and the tranquillity, with the birds singing above her head and the sweet gentle breeze rustled her satin gown and teased her wavy platinum tresses.  

…and she heard it.

It was soft, almost like a whisper, but nonetheless the voice of someone humming to him or herself. The pitch was asexual, for it was neither deep nor high. Promptly she scrambled up to the sitting position, focusing all her senses in search of the source of the voice.

A young man, approximately her age, sat above her head on one of the looming branches of the tree near her sitting location. One leg dangling so casually over the branch, he was the epitome of contentment and tranquillity. She was unable to distinguish his face from her position, but his shimmering platinum short hair was the most gorgeous thing she had ever seen – so silky, so brilliant under the reflection of sunlight.

And she knew the song he was humming! It was a lullaby from her childhood, the one that mother had always sung for her night by night before she had gone to her bed. She remembered!

Half-covering her eyes with her palm to prevent the sunlight to spoil her vision, she attempted a peer at the man and greeted him hesitantly.  "Hello, do you realise that you sit above a lady's head?" she smiled good-naturedly as she spoke, half-jokingly putting emphasis on her presence. It was a little forward of her to speak to a man she practically had never met before. But, who cares? Her brother was not around, so she was free to behave as she saw fit.

The young man seemed to make the attempt to peer down, and somehow he managed to bend his waist in a particular angle that would let them speak in face-to-face basis while maintaining his balance at the same time. He flashed a toothy grin, causing Celena to laugh in return. The sunlight still made it difficult for her to make out his features, but she supposed he was handsome since he seemed to possess a beautiful warm smile.

"Hello there, Miss. Didn't quite see you down there. Suppose I am too preoccupied with my silly tune." Celena hid an amused smile behind her hand at the remark, "I apologise for that."

The young man must have come from an educated family, for his speech-pattern was sharp and organised, unlike the way the commoners spoke. The thought that he might come from a family of her brother's acquaintance made the prospect of getting to know him more exciting. Leaping upwards, Celena laughed as she straightened her gown expertly, smiling as she gave her response, "Not at all, not at all. You sang the tune delightfully. It reminded me of my childhood for a second."

"Really?" the man leant forward; his eyes seemed to shine with curiosity, "Was it a nostalgic tune for you? Not that it doesn't hold fond memories for me…I think most people in general will regard the tune with affection and wistful longing of childhood."

There was a pause in which both of them just smiled and looked at each other's face, with the soft breeze filling in most of the conversation.

"Lady, if I may know your name…?" The man finally asked, his voice brimming with urgency.

Celena waited for a few moments before she was going to answer it, partly because she enjoyed making the person waited in anticipation and partly because she was considering whether giving out her name to stranger was the right thing to do or not. Allen had often lectured her in this matter, fearing for her only sister's safety above all. She understood his concern, although sometimes she felt trapped.

She was about to open her mouth and spell out her name when suddenly she heard a familiar voice crying out her name, most probably in search of her. Whirling around to the owner of the voice, she waved ecstatically as she recognised the tall figure of her brother with Roja in his arms, and the loads of boxes of goods that she purchased in the bazaar but left so suddenly in her blank state of mind.

"Celena! Thank God you are alright!" From afar, she could see Allen struggled with the weights of the boxes and Roja in his arms – he should have let Roja walk on his own instead of spoiling the boy by carrying him like that, Celena thought resentfully, but looking at the boy's position, the boy might be sleeping. For some unknown reason, her brother seemed to enjoy having the boy in his arms, however. 

Celena averted her eyes on the young man sitting on the tree branch, and back to her brother alternately. She was in truth dying to get acquainted with this seemingly nice young man, but her guilt on leaving Allen behind without even the slightest explanation forced her to forgo the desire for the moment. Allen needed her assistance with the boy and the parcels for sure.

And the man seemed to understand what was going on in her mind. "Go on," he pointed at Allen with his chin, "Go to him. It seems that he's looked for you for a long time already."

"He is my brother." Celena made the unconscious statement to avoid misunderstanding with the wonderful stranger. She sensed laughter wavered in his baritone, "Aye, I see the resemblance."

Smiling, she attempted to peer upwards again unsuccessfully, and inquired, "Are you often in this area?"

Opening his arms widely, the man looked around him as he answered, "This is my constant past-time dwelling. Is there any reason…?"

Shaking her head slowly, Celena responded as she gathered her skirt and walked away from the spot rapidly to assist Allen. "No, nothing in particular. That's all I need to know." She walked away without looking back, certain that she would be able to meet the young man again later. At the present, she had some explaining and apologising to do. Allen was nice enough to tolerate her strange behaviour and deserved better than a kiss and a short excuse. She was a child no more, and she should have been more responsible with her own well-being (and her charge). Perhaps she would bake Allen's favourite dessert herself when they were back.

Celena gave Allen her best apologetic smile as she looked pointedly at the sleeping Roja. The smile turned into frown though, when she finally noticed the boy's tear-streaked face. So her brother had to deal with a snivelling child because of her! Allen smiled weakly as he gestured toward Roja with his chin, jostling the child very gently to adjust his position. "He's been holding onto you when you suddenly behaved very strangely. You gave him a good shock when you slapped his hand and dashed away without particular reason."

A sharp gasp escaped Celena's rose-bud mouth as realisation struck home. Quickly she outstretched her hands to remove Roja from Allen's arms, stumbling for words, "I-I'm really sorry, Brother! I didn't realise…I don't…Really! I never thought that…"

Allen merely gave an affectionate grin at Celena as he tightened his hold on Roja, offering half the parcels of their purchase instead. "'Tis alright, Dearest. I am quite happy to look after him. He's a good boy. He's a welcome intrusion to my otherwise uninteresting routine."

"But…" Celena tried to argue while her hands were busy taking care of the parcels. 

"No buts. Let us go back to our carriage. I think it's best for both of us to relieve ourselves from our 'burdens', yes?" Winking mischievously, Allen joked good-naturedly to erase her sister's guilt. Nevertheless, uneasiness entered his mind whenever he remembered the expression that Celena wore when she had fled awhile ago, but explanation could come later. Allen didn't have the heart to ruin the almost perfect day otherwise he had a very good reason to.

On the other hand, he was more interested in other matters.

Walking side by side, he addressed his sister casually, although by all means not without curiosity, "Who are you speaking to earlier?"

Allen regarded the faint blush on his sister's cheeks with suspicion and carried on in dismay, "Is there someone you suppose to introduce to me?"

Shaking her had rapidly – half in amusement and half in embarrassment – Celena avoided gazing directly into her brother's eyes as she finally gave her answer, "I met this young man."

Allen arched one of his fine eyebrows, "And?"

"That's all. Nothing else."

A frown appeared on Allen's forehead. It was not his sister's nature to give him such a simplistic answer. She was a quiet girl, but usually she was quite elaborative when she talked to him. "That's all? Didn't he even give you his name?" Allen had to admit he was very curious about the men in his sister's life. His sister had entered her twenty-fourth autumn already, but there had been no sign yet of a man taking part in her life. "Was he good? Handsome? Did he come from a respectable family?"

A smile stole its way to Allen's lips when he noticed Celena's ears turn crimson. "I don't know! Why should I know, anyway?" It seemed to him that his sister was not going to share anything with him – he had to find things out himself. 

Turning around he marched back purposely to the place where he had found Celena earlier, only to have Celena clung to his arms, disrupting his balance for a brief moment. For a moment Allen had to struggle to prevent Roja from falling headlong, glaring at Celena in the process. The boy stirred up in his discomfort, but instead of fully awakened, he circled his arms tightly around Allen's neck and went back to sleep. Allen took a long relieved breath and permitted himself a fatherly smile. Never had he realised before how soothing it was to have a child in his arms.

Back to business, Allen glared at Celena in chastise, while the latter was busy avoiding his eyes. Deep down, he wondered. Celena could be very childish sometimes, as if there was a little unreleased part of her. Of course. Celena had never had a real childhood. It was lucky enough that she forgot her entire past as Dilandau, but…

Sighing in defeat, Allen decided to drop off the subject matter and searched for a figure of a man under the distant tree instead. He saw no one.

"He sat on the tree branch when I spoke to him, but then may be he has already gone." Celena offered, hopeful that her brother would change his mind and decide not to meddle in her personal affairs. Allen meant well, but she supposed the attention a little bit too much for her taste.  

Looking at his surrounding, Allen's frown deepened as his scepticism doubled. There was no other way out of the meadow since the whole area was surrounded by a cliff. The way out was the way in. Also, it had not been that long since he first found Celena. He recalled his sister seemingly engrossed in a conversation with someone…above her head, perhaps like Celena had explained before, on top of the solitary tree on the edge of the cliff.

He decided to let the matter drop. What's more, it was quite impossible to distinguish the outline of a man from his position. May be Celena was right. He might have interfered too much in her life.  

Gently patting Celena's platinum tresses, he smiled in understanding as he turned around and left Celena behind, mindful of the wistful look Celena projected to the sky. 

Hitomi was unable to hide her smile as she watched Ardine's attempt to curtsey according to the Fanelian court standard and waved as the princess retreated behind the door of her chamber. Poor girl. So young, and yet she had been tossed into a situation she was unable to control. Ardine might rather die than admitting her fear and uncertainty, but Hitomi was sure the girl was fully aware of her rather delicate position in Fanelia.

Van and Hitomi had taken her into custody of course, but Gaudi's attitude in this matter was amazing. Unbeknownst to Ardine, Gaudi had spared his precious leisure time to supervise her security matter personally, making certain that there would be no attempted murder on the already much hated princess. She had no idea of what truly happened between Gaudi and Ardine, but she was almost certain of the saddened expression in Gaudi's eyes whenever he laid his eyes on her. Between the two, Hitomi had sensed the beginning of a bond that would grow into a wonderful one if nurtured and preserved.

"Your Majesty, shall we escort you back to the royal library?"

The polite but uncomfortable 'plea' of her aides behind her interfered with her train of thoughts. She almost smiled as she calmly twisted around and eyed the guards critically, her eyebrows furrowed deeply as she assessed the bunch of burly men from head to toe. "Gentlemen," she pointed out lightly, a half smile played on her lips, "I believe you all comprehend how to answer to your duty."

Laughing softly, Hitomi merely shook her head in amusement as she noticed the reddened tips of the men's ears. She supposed her guards longed for a little break after the incident with Ardine in the study chamber. With that consideration in mind, she relaxed her face and dismissed them with a grin. Of course in the way that did not make them feel as if they were neglecting their duty.

"I want some quality time alone. You are all dismissed."

The look of surprise floated briefly on the captain guard's face, when he voiced his protest involuntary, "But Your Majesty! 'Tis not wise to be all alone…"

Hitomi's eyes twinkled at the response. So the men still had some sense of duty after all. They were not only the burly men who had enforced their power on Ardine in the study chamber earlier. Still, she reckoned there was no harm in losing her 'excess baggage' once awhile, so she repeated her request, "Thank you for your concern, but I will be alright. I can take care of myself."

"But…"

Rolling her eyes in exasperation, Hitomi diverted her gaze the unoccupied part of the corridor, but her smile broadened when her eyes contracted with Gaudi's familiar figure. He smiled cordially at her as he approached and bowed formally, waiting for Hitomi to address him first.

Instead of greeting the newcomer, Hitomi turned around to face her guards properly and said, "You may go. I have sufficient security here."

Eyeing each of his men hesitantly, the captain of the guards finally agreed, mainly because Gaudi was there to take care of Hitomi.

Hitomi waited until her guards were well out of earshot before regarding Gaudi bowed form in bemusement and chastised him gently, "What are you doing? Is it necessary to be so formal?"

Straightening his body upon Hitomi's command, Gaudi's eyes twinkled merrily as he answered, "Protocol. You can never avoid it."

Exhaling loudly, Hitomi walked daintily to the side one of the tall pillars in the outer part of the corridor, appearing to be pensive and deep in thought. Sometimes all the rules and protocols saddened her. They were a burden that came with her permanent stay in Fanelia. She could never expect to blend into Fanelian society without at least respecting its tradition, but sometimes she missed being carefree. She missed her old self.

She knew Gaudi was behind her, studying her, observing. Struggling to repress her inner turmoil, she schooled her face into a neutral expression, the disturbance far concealed within the folds of her mind. Van must never know her uneasiness. He faces too much dilemma of his own already.

"Van?" she inquired softly, her eyes staring far into the clear blue horizon above. It was a nice day. She was hoping she would be able to steal Van for a few minutes and take a walk together. May be it would ease the heaviness in her heart.

Gaudi smiled his crooked smile of his, straightening his torso and leaned back on the wall behind him. Crossing his arms into a picture of relaxation, he decided what Hitomi needed most at the moment was not a rigid companion, but a friendly one. Besides, no one was looking. "Down on the training ground. Pretty busy, I'd say. Do you want me to notify him of something?"

Hitomi's heart wanted to scream yes, but instead she shook her head. "If he is busy, let him be." She stated ironically, almost at herself, "He will come to me when he is ready."

Gaudi frowned upon Hitomi's reaction. Come to her? He wondered at the depth her words implied. "He will finish in more or less an hour probably," he told her cautiously, mindful of Hitomi's reaction. The couple's display of intimate gestures had kept most people in Fanelian Court oblivious, but Gaudi was aware of the growing tension between the two. It concerned him as well to watch the restlessness darkened the expressions of the newly established queen. 

The lack of Hitomi's response made his discomfort grow two folds. He disliked being trapped between the domestic disturbance in Van and Hitomi's marriage – his allegiance only extended to his support on the redevelopment and preserving the peace in Fanelia – but he was unable to withdraw after he saw the dejected look in Hitomi's eyes.

Stepping forward, Gaudi offered amiably, his one good eye shining with a moment of pity, "Madam, if you really need him, I may be able to…"

"No. That's fine." Hitomi cut him off, glancing at him and flashing her smile briefly to say that she was alright, "That's fine…"

Planting his hands into his hips, Gaudi exhaled loudly and permitted himself a small smile of wonder. The woman never ceased to amaze him. Almost as stubborn as his cousin, Gaudi had little wonder why Hitomi was able to conquer him in the first place. Then again, however, the stubbornness seemed to backlash at their relationship as well.

The hot-headed Van and the cool Hitomi – they expressed their stubbornness differently, but not without impact in the middle.

The rustle of the heavy material of Hitomi's dress focused his mind back to the present. A weak smile appeared as he noticed Hitomi approached him slowly, her hips swaying gently as she walked.

Every man must have had no difficulties to see that their queen possessed a very alluring charm. It was impossible not to grow appreciative of the earthly magnetism – something that most Fanelian ladies are lack of. The fact that Hitomi was so usual and ordinary instead becoming more and more of an advantage rather than a defect. The woman was a natural – there was nothing artificial about her presence. Gaudi was sure Van was drawn to these very qualities as he was better acquainted with her.

They stood face to face, each probing the other's eyes, assessing the other's inner private world of emotions. For a moment time stopped to be part of their world. Each was much too aware of the other's presence, too aware of the field of force swirling between them.

Hitomi's heart skipped a beat as her conscience was absorbed into the deep ocean of his azure orbs, the heat on her cheeks starting to cause her feel a little heady. Inward, a question kept repeating over and over in her head: who was this man who exuded such a charismatic charm that was able to dissolve the state of her good sense into puff of smoke? His eagle eyes appeared to freeze and disable her thinking.

Again and again Hitomi probed her mind for answer, but to her surprise, her sensitive soul was not able to read the man before her. And her fear gained the upper hand as her mind swirled further and further into blackness. Soon colourful pictures began to fill her head with myriads of animated scenes, in which she reacted in panic because of her inability to control them.

She did the only think she could think of.

She screamed.

"Hitomi!"

Gaudi's reaction had never been faster as he intercepted Hitomi's limp body before she hit the ground. He had never been scared before, even in the most gruesome battle experience, but Hitomi's sudden loss of consciousness had struck his nerves twice as hard as what Van's words have done to his pride the previous morning. In fact, he had never been in a lot of fear since…he shook his head, trying to clear up his visions of the past.

The inner Gaudi was screaming in panic as his fingers touched Hitomi's cold and clammy skin. By Gods, she was so grey, he thought to himself, struggling to keep his inner self down in the back of his mind. He could never allow his old self to surface. He had to stay calm so he would be able to understand what was going on with Hitomi.

He wiped cold sweat with the back of his hand, now shaking violently in hysteria never before known to him in his whole career as a military officer. Echoes of painful screams from his past echoed freely in his mind, which he attempted to chase away by shaking his head vigorously.

What was happening to him?

Something in the depth of his mind was reacting with a vengeance, but he had no idea what it was or how it looked like. Tears started to gather at the corners of his eyes – very embarrassing, but he was unable to prevent it – as he gathered Hitomi's body into his arms and started to shake her gently.

"Hitomi!" he called her name, almost a whisper.

Mother!

"Hitomi, please wake up, I…"

Mother, wake up!

Looking at his surrounding, his eyes wildly searched for help, for anything, anyone. His dry throat tightening, he was unable to summon his strength to call out. Yet he didn't dare to leave Hitomi alone, for he could never risk if something unexpected happened to her. He didn't want her to end like his…

…Mother…

Eyes widened in realisation, Gaudi relaxed his hold on Hitomi's petite frame as gazed into the unseen distance, his mind cleared up in understanding of his earlier reaction. But the understanding soon turned into alarm as he sensed someone placed a heavy hand on top of his shoulder.

"Let me help…"

The newcomer never finished his sentence for Gaudi drew his sword instinctively upon the contact and lashed the double edged weapon swiftly. Crimson liquid was dripping on the alabaster floor, accompanied by a loud curse and an angry bark.

"Gaudi, are you insane?!"              

Soon the clouds in Gaudi's head cleared up, and he recoiled in embarrassment as he finally took a good notice on his enemy. There, clutching his injured wrist to his chest protectively, Van seethed in half rage and disgust as he gave Gaudi a look of utter disbelief.

Gaudi, on the other hand, could think of no explanation except for his concern with Hitomi's well-being. Tightening his hands protectively around Hitomi's frail shoulders, he managed to tell Van.

"I think you'd better check on the queen's condition." He stammered. "She lost her consciousness all of sudden."

Van, his eyes finally widened in understanding, quickly scrambled to his wife's side, ignoring the throbbing pain that came from the open wound on his wrist.

Hitomi felt as if she had been walking in a floating darkness for a long period of time, but halted in the middle of her journey when she finally noticed that she had been walking on a thin transparent pathway. She thought she saw light coming her way, but later she realised the light existed in the first place because she was opening her eyes. For a moment there was nothing but light flooding and surrounding her existence. Only hazy details of her own bedroom assured her that she was in her own bedchamber, and not anywhere unsafe. Unsteadily she attempted to prop her mass on her elbows, although her pounding head did not allow her to stand up.

She was utterly and totally alone.

Heaving a disappointed sigh, she relinquished the wish of seeing her husband by her side. Lowering her body back on the mattress carefully, she stared at the richly ornamented ceiling, thousands of indescribable emotions buzzing in her mind. A painful memory caused her to smile bitterly as she eyed the empty spot beside her, a remainder that her wish, after all, could never come true anymore.

For today was her husband's execution – Van's execution. She was not allowed to watch, nor saying good-bye for the last time.

But it all never mattered, because after would be her turn. She would die as well.

Together they would meet in eternity. 

And thus, in this dreamscape, Hitomi learnt the future of her and Van's existence.

Gaudi slammed his body against the comfort of his bed as he groaned involuntary, willing himself to chase away the emerging memory caused by Hitomi's sudden collapse. It had shocked him to the point of panicking to see how pale she was, as if her blood had stopped flowing through her vein and her breath had stopped to supply her with life. It unnerved him to be in the situation, as if a part of his past had been relived.

Pouring himself a goblet of strong-smelling liquor, Gaudi diverted his eyes towards the portrait of his parents that was hung high above the fireplace – their unseeing eyes intensified his feeling of discomfort. Sighing, he pursed his lips in deep contemplation, his critical mind trying to make sense of what he experienced earlier.

Something, something in the way Hitomi laid motionless on the floor, the way the sunlight reflected on her marble-like skin triggered something he had managed to push to the back of his mind in the past few years. He thought he had succeeded in resolving the troubles in his past, but he was obviously wrong. It was very naïve, no, foolish of him to ever think that his memories could not make the same impact on him as they first took place years ago. He still remembered now and then, but the memory had never affected him like what he experienced just then.

Anger was not an issue here. He had vowed to himself not to let vengeance clouded his vision of the right and wrong, as he vowed that he would never be the same as the noblemen who had so haughtily judged his parents for their mistake of falling in love. However, his heart was heavy with sadness as his eyes contracted his mother's sapphire blue orbs.

To be truthful, he had never been particularly closed to his mother, having been separated from her the moment he had reached his sixth winter. His grandfather had ordered upon the improvement of his education, thus removing him from the comfort of his parents' secluded estate. He remembered the day clearly as if it was only yesterday.

The snow had hit the ground hard that day, so cold that it penetrated the layers of rich fur he had been wearing. In his six-year-old eyes, he saw his parents as they led him away from the warm cottage that they had shared in the past six years, with his grandfather's retainers trudging behind them – father had one hand holding his while the other supported mother as she leaned helplessly on his shoulder.

The day before his mother and father had spent the night with him and even allowed him to sleep with them for once, speaking with him in the gentlest manner he had ever seen them to be, explaining what would happen to him the next day. They had told him the separation would be temporary, and that he would be in good hands, having the education he so deserved as the grandson of the King. He had asked father if they would come with him to grandfather's castle, but they merely shook their heads. Mother explained that they would send him off until the country's border, but from there on, he was on his own. Mother's shoulders shook. She almost cried, but being mother, she refused to cry in front of him and smiled bravely instead.

He had never been parted from his parents before, and he was afraid they would never reunite anymore. He may only have been a six-year-old, but he was not stupid. And he was right. His grandfather only wanted him – it was useless to deny the hatred that his grandfather felt toward his parents, especially his mother.

They had killed them before his eyes. Yes, they had killed his parents just moments before they reached the country's border. And afterwards, there was no place he could call home anymore.