Monster
I remember knowing a man named Otto Octavius. He was a nice man. Really brilliant. I remember his wife, Rosie. They looked so happy together, they were so happy together. I remember his dreams, his gift to take care of mankind. I remember his failures, his successes. I remember his overbearing mother, and a father that hit him. I remember his only protector, technology. I remember his gifts. I remember his love.
But then again, I remember a lot about Dr. Otto Octavius.
And this man, this man I looked at through broken shards of glass and mirrors, the man in the water, the man staring at his reflection in the river is not Dr. Octavius.
The man I see is a murderer, a monster. Selfish, and blind. Resentful towards feelings he once felt dear. Forgetful. Weak.
Monster.
This man with a reflection in the water is Dr. Octopus.
Gifted with intelligence, great dreams in mind. Great dreams that crumbled in front of him. But he rebuilt those dreams, and forgot about everything else. Forgot his dreams cost him his love, his life. Forgot how much it would cost everyone. Forgot about the life he had before. Forgot about everyone else. Gifted and cursed with four mechanical arms that refuse to stop talking. Refuse to stop and listen to him.
He is weak. He gives up. He listens to the other monsters attached to his back, and gives into their kind, soft, welcoming voices that hide horrible intentions. And he was too blind, too broken to see that.
Dr. Octopus is only a broken man, the man in the water. Dr. Octopus is someone driving on commands that he doesn't even realize are commands.
A mere pond in a bigger game of chess. A mere tool. Puppet with four arms pulling the strings. The creator of his own destruction.
He believed all their lies. He believed his arms. He believed them when they told him the deaths he caused were justified by the fact they hated him. He believed them when they told him his life before them was meaningless. He believed them when they told him no one loved him before them, not even his wife who he obsessed with as much as science. He believed all of it, because it felt so good.
Selfish and weak. Blind.
Unlike the man I remember named Otto. Otto who couldn't understand T.S. Elliot if his life depended on it. A man who only wanted to help. Who only wanted to give to mankind.
He didn't want to be hated. He didn't want to be thought as the man who went insane.
Dr. Octopus killed Dr. Otto Octavius.
He didn't even give Otto a moment to remember, to savor the love, the happiness he had. He didn't give Otto a chance to ask forgiveness for the people he hurt. He didn't even give Otto chance to scream, to ask for help. Not even a moment for him to realize what he is doing. Not even a moment to understand. No chance to say goodbye.
He grabbed him with cold mechanical arms, and choked him to death. Dr. Octopus grabbed him by the throat, and made him stare at the dead bodies still begging for mercy. The doctors that only wanted to help him, now dead. The bodies stained with blood, and horrified stares. The bodies with their blood on the arms that hold him. And Otto is helpless but to stare, and say sorry to bodies that refuse to listen.
Otto screams for the mercy Dr. Octopus does not know. That Dr. Octopus is made not to know by the arms he depends on.
No, is all Otto can say, as the arms wrap around him tighter. But they don't listen, as they make him think they're helping him.
Dr. Octopus smiles, and then Otto is gone. Too lost in the lies of four mechanical arms.
The life Otto had, forgotten. The years he was mocked and laughed at. His over protecting mother, begging him not to leave her. And a father with his weapon of choice, a belt. The machines he surrounded himself in, to protect himself. The machines his father refused to know, the machines that killed his father. The machines that he thanked.
That girl he met on the college steps, and ended up talking to for hours to come. That love he felt that he never felt before.
His dreams.
All forgotten.
Only Dr. Octopus and his arms remain, as the smile alone in their pier. With only each other. Dr. Octopus and the voices only he can hear.
Dr. Octopus, the monster.
I miss Otto Octavius.
Why couldn't Dr. Octopus die with the sun?
Yes, I'm alive. No matter how hard I try, I'm alive. Whenever I go to sleep, I wake up, and I can't stop that. I can't die, because of them. And I look behind me. They're asleep now, they sleep when I sleep. They aren't human though, they don't sleep, they shut down. And they look like monsters even when shut down. The arms I built want to live.
They let go of the sun, and they swam us away. They gave us safety. They made me come back. They brought me back from the dead. And I hate them for that. I hate them for everything they've done to me.
Because when I look into the water, look at my reflection, I can't see Otto Octavius anymore.
They took that away from me. They took everything away from me.
And when they wake up, when they turn on, their voices will ring in my head. They will scream at me. They will yell at me.
Bring back memories of my father and his belt.
They will tell me to get up, and punish Peter. They will tell me they love me, they will always protect me. Lies. Lies from such kind voices.
Lies that make me almost believe them.
I just have to stare into the water. Stare into the reflection of a stranger. Just stare, and try to make them go away.
This is all the time I have left. This is the only time I can be as close to as Otto as I can be. I am Dr. Octopus now. I can never be Otto again. Because Otto is dead. Dead in the water I know stare at.
I hate them.
"Rosie..."
I hate them, Rosie. I hate them. Look what they've done to me. They killed a part of me, Rosie. They killed a part of me, a part of me that remembered how much I love you.
How could they do this to me?
They killed him, Rosie. They killed Otto...
They made me into a monster, Rosie...
Monster...
People scream at me. They point and run. They don't see me anymore. They don't see Otto Octavius, man of science, man with a gift. They don't see the man that worked his entire life on obsession over love and science. They don't see the man that endured so much. They see Dr. Octopus with his four mechanical arms.
The Monster. Then they run.
They did this to me, Rosie. They made me a monster. They made me do it, it isn't my fault. It isn't my fault, they made me...
Monster.
The machines I thanked so much for killing my father, have killed me too.
Monsters is all they are. Making scars on my back, refusing to let go, refusing to be silent. Monsters that scream, and hiss. Monsters with blood on their hands. And they smear onto mine.
"Rosie, I'm sorry..."
You're the only one that will listen now, Rosie.
I tell them to stop, but they drain me out...
They tell me to leave, and rebuild. They tell me to not miscalculate. They tell me to go and kill Peter, punish him for the pain they caused us. But he didn't hurt me, it was them. Peter hurt them.
I have hurt so many now, I won't hurt Peter. I won't. Peter, the young boy that reminds me so much of myself. The hero I could have been with these arms. The brilliant boy, with dreams like mine. Peter, I'm sorry. Don't fall, Peter, don't fall like me. Don't be weak like me, please.
This man in the water, this reflection is a stranger with an unfamiliar face.
This man in the water, this reflection is a monster.
And he won't go away.
Monster. Murderer. Maniac.
Dr. Octopus with four mechanical arms telling him what to do, because he's too weak to say now to them. Too blind to see that they are only four mechanical arms. Only arms that want to do what they were made to do. Too selfish to realize how many people he's hurting. Too blind to see the people he has killed.
Monster.
He killed Otto Octavius! He killed Otto!
This man in the water, with a reflection I can't remember. That isn't me. That's a monster.
Monster.
Four mechanical arms that lie. That save his life in return for his mind. Four arms that are far too machine to realize the love they made him forget. And he's too blind to see that.
I don't want to forget...I don't want to die...
Monster.
Rosie, help me.
They won't let me let go. They won't let me die. They won't let me go into the river and drown myself. They won't let me go. They wrap themselves around me so I can't move, and make me think they're protecting me. They won't let me... They pull me away from what I really want.
They've taken everything else away from me. My life is in their hands that are stained with blood. Whatever I have left, the reflection of a monster in the water, they won't let me go.
If I die, they die. And they refuse to die.
Monsters that make a monster.
And I stare into this reflection, searching for whatever is left of the man I remember named Otto Octavius. I can't find anything.
Just a monster.
But I still looking, hoping something will come.
Then a red light reflects in the water, and I close my eyes.
"Go away."
They say they'll never leave me. They say I need them, and they need me.
"Go away!"
They say no. They say they'll never hurt me like everyone else has. They'll never lie. They'll never leave me like people named Rosie and Peter did.
"Leave me alone!"
I push away, and they grab me.
Voices in my head, monsters in my head. That lie to me. That make me do things a man named Otto never wanted to do.
They killed him, the voices. They killed Otto.
"Stop it! I won't listen to you!"
And I try to run from them, only to feel the scars they've made on my back. And they follow me as I crawl into the corner, like a little boy swearing he saw the boogie man in his closet.
"Stop it!"
Monster.
But they don't, and they stare at me, telling me it will be okay. Lies of monsters. And in the corner, I put my hands over my ears as if that will make their voices go away.
Monster.
"I will not be a monster."
I don't want to be a monster. But that's all I can be now.
And then they lay on me, as if comforting me. They surround me, whisper things to me, telling me everything is all right, and they won't leave me. Monsters pulling strings on a puppet.
I'm sorry.
I remember a man named Otto Octavius. He was killed by a monster named Dr. Octopus. I miss Otto. I miss him very much.
I don't want to be a monster.
Based on comic books. The movie is pretty accurate to the story in the comics, except at the end Otto Octavius lives because his arms swim him to safety. Expect to see a prolouge in Spider-man 3 with Otto living, because not even Sam Raimi can kill the most famous Villian in Spider-man.