Kara woke slowly, gently, and with a pervasive feeling that all was right with her world. It was an odd sensation, but she wasn't going to argue. She couldn't remember ever feeling so sleepily content in her life. For that matter, she wasn't entirely sure that she was awake. The safe and secure feeling wasn't anything that she had experienced in her waking hours.
She felt his arms around her. If she'd been a little more coherent, she might have realized that it was odd to know exactly who was holding her when her eyes were closed. She decided she must indeed be sleeping, and dreaming at that. It was a good dream; warm arms, a solid chest, and the faint snore of a deeply sleeping man. Yes, it was a damned fine dream.
Kara rubbed her face against the arm she was resting her cheek on. Slightly fuzzy, solidly muscled, the arm shouldn't have been comfortable. But it was. She had both of her own arms wrapped around herself, as though she'd been cold in her sleep. Lee was facing her, his breath warm and moist just above her ear. His snores were soft, and the movement of his chest against her forehead reassuring. Yes, it was a very good dream.
Kara unwrapped her arms from her body and eased them towards the warm chest she was facing. Dreams didn't mind if you did what was truly in your heart; she would do what felt right. And what felt right was slipping her hands beneath the hem of Lee's shirts and caressing soft skin stretched taught over solid muscle. Lords, he felt good. Heat seemed to radiate from him, and her movements hadn't even made the slightest impact on his gentle snoring. He was still deeply asleep, and she intended to play.
The lights in the room were on, so she could see every inch that she revealed as her hands traveled upwards. An absent thought wondered how she could so clearly imagine details she had never seen in decent lighting, but then her imagination had always been a good one. And this had to be imagination, because no body was as perfect as the one she was lying against.
Her hands made sweeping motions from belly to chest and back again, taking in every tactile sensation, every variation and change in texture. Despite her desire to see him, her eyes drifted closed as she became lost in the pure sensory experience… just feeling.
When his body shifted slightly, the breathing above her left ear becoming deeper and less regular, she wasn't surprised. Even in a dream, a man could only sleep through so much. Testing the honesty of the dream, she let her hands drift downward over military issue pants and settle on a distinctive bulge.
"What are you doing?" he asked her softly. Lee's voice was low, gravely from sleep, and slightly out of breath.
"Dreaming," she answered simply.
"Mmm," he muttered, shifting slightly so that he could nibble on one of her ears. "So was I, but this is better."
The words washed over and past her, meaningless. This was her dream, and she didn't have to worry about any details that she didn't want to. She reached up and ran her hands across his chest again, then followed his shirt up with tiny kisses, gentle licks, and a very tentative bite.
"Kara…" Lee said warningly.
"Go back to sleep," she muttered, her lips never leaving his chest. "I'm not finished yet."
"I'd rather be awake," he said on a gasp.
"My dream," she argued, settling on a tender spot just below his collarbone and sucking gently.
"Dreaming is good," he said with a sigh."
"Dreaming is incredible," she agreed.
"Do I get to dream, too?" he asked.
"Be my guest," she muttered, now moving her tongue along the line where smooth neck met morning stubble.
Lee pressed forward somehow – Kara never knew where he found the leverage – and pushed her onto her back. While her hands were still at his chest, her mouth was definitely distracted by a kiss that was hot, and hard, and deep. While she regretted the absence of texture from his beard-stubbled jaw, she couldn't regret the exciting feel of his weight above her and his mouth devouring hers.
She wasn't sure when she realized that she wasn't dreaming. Perhaps it was the solid weight of him pressing her into a soft mattress, or maybe it was that he was far more aggressive than he'd been in the past. For that matter, it could have been her own body's reaction to his heat, and strength, and force. It was no longer a sensory feast, but rather an onslaught, and she didn't want to get away from it.
She hadn't wanted this. She had told him that they had to stay clear – that it couldn't happen again – and yet when faced with a time and place where she must put her foot down to enforce her wishes, she just couldn't. Frak, he felt so good against her. And if the bulge now located against her right thigh was any indication, he needed this as much as she did. She realized how complicated it made things, and she knew in her heart that it had to be wrong, but she couldn't – just couldn't – deny either of them the pleasure of the oblivion that they could provide one another.
She didn't think Lee was even thinking it over that much. His weight was no longer on her, but he hadn't gone far. His hands were all over her, from collar to belly to boots. She smiled at him as he tugged on stubborn laces before tossing her work boots onto the floor with a metallic clunk, and then gasped as he reached for her belt and made quick work of a normally stubborn buckle. Her underwear went with the pants as he tugged them away, and Kara was faced with the knowledge that while this wasn't the first time she had been naked with this man, it was the first time there had been enough light to make the experience embarrassing.
Kara had no illusions about her body. She wasn't tall or willowy. She was short, solid, and built more for distance than speed. She was a runner, which meant that body fat wasn't an issue, but neither was all that feminine curvy stuff that men seemed to go for. She didn't have long, gorgeous hair. She didn't have large breasts. She didn't have all the right curves in all the right places. She was just… Kara.
But Lee didn't seem to mind. His hands had trailed up her bare legs, tickling slightly as he followed the motions with kisses and the occasional soft bite. She glanced down in time to see him face her, smile, and then continue his journey upwards. His hands moved the shirts away just as he had her pants, coaxing her arms above her head to remove them and then trailing them back down to come to a rest at her side.
"You are so beautiful," he murmured, rubbing his lips across her, not in a kiss, but more a sweep of sensation.
She blushed at that, and she knew he could see it from her chest up. It was a hazard of fair skin; she blushed brightly, although only for him in recent memory. Normally she kept a much tighter reign on her emotions.
"Do…?" she began, but then had to stop to clear her throat as her words were completely inaudible. He was just looking at her, his glance sweeping from face to toes and back again in a slow rhythm. "Do I get to look, too?" she finally got out.
Lee smiled, then leaned up to kiss her before moving to sit on the edge of the bed to untie his own boots and kick them off. His shirts came next, giving her a wonderful view of a back that was surprisingly broad. His shirts, it appeared, hid a lot of gorgeous territory. Lee stood to undo his buckle and buttons, then shoved both pants and underwear off with one motion before sitting back down on the bed and turning to look at her. She could have sworn that his skin was a little pinker than normal too, although she couldn't call it a true blush. "Better?" he asked.
And she smiled. She couldn't help it. She reached out for him, one hand in silent appeal, and he pulled his legs up onto the bed so that he could stretch out and take her in his arms. She was met with the newly familiar sensation of Lee's body against hers; that perfect fit that she kept thinking she had imagined. But she hadn't – couldn't have – because here it was again.
"You always feel so good," he whispered into her ear. "But you feel even better on a bed."
She giggled. To her, it sounded childish and silly, but it was the only sound that she could emit. Lee didn't appear to mind. He smiled, hissed the tip of her nose, and then brought her in close to him once more. She tucked one knee between his as they lay facing one another on their sides, arms wrapped snugly around the other so that they stayed close. She buried her face in the curve of neck and shoulder, inhaling the warm and spicy scent that was just Lee. She wanted to move – to touch and play – but it just felt too damned good to be in his arms. She wasn't ready to let go, even to increase the wonderful sensations that he was giving her.
They lay that way for so long that she thought he might have drifted back to sleep. His body held the chill of the room at bay, keeping her snug and comfortable.
"This wasn't supposed to happen again," he told her softly.
"I know," she admitted.
"I'm not sorry it did," he said as he ran a hand up and down her back, spreading warmth in its wake.
"We may be later," she countered. "There's so much between us…"
"That doesn't have to be a bad thing," he suggested. "We're already compatible as friends – we know that – and we work well together. Maybe this is just the next logical step from that."
"Or maybe we're both a little desperate," she argued.
"Thanks," he said dryly, but his arms didn't loosen.
"I didn't mean that the way it sounded," she said, kissing his neck gently as though to take away the sting of her words. "I just mean that the world is falling apart, and I guess it's natural to want to hold on to something, or someone, who's… familiar."
"And I'll say it again: that doesn't have to be a bad thing. Familiar, and comfortable, and predictable; they aren't bad words. They're necessary for sanity."
"That would explain a friendship, Lee," she told him reasonably. "What is this?" She squeezed him around the waist and lifted her leg between his to emphasize her point. His indrawn breath told her more than words could about his understanding. "You're right; our friendship is necessary, and vital, and pretty damned wonderful. I don't want that screwed up because we're…"
"Screwing around?" he asked.
"Yeah."
He seemed to think for a moment, and then his arms loosened from her. She closed her eyes as he gave her what she knew should be, rather than what she wanted and needed so desperately. If she'd kept her eyes open, she might have seen his next move coming, but as it was he caught her off guard.
She was lost long before his hands found their way down her body, rubbing over her bottom and then moving up her back. His mouth left her chest, trailed a line of kisses to her navel, and then he pulled back to look up at her.
"Is it worth the tiny chance that we may be screwing things up?" he asked her softly, one hand moving between her legs to gently brush across blond curls. "Tell me to stop and I will, but I think it's worth it. I think we've been friends long enough that we can take a little tension if it comes to that. And I think that the world is pretty much gone, and if you have something – anything – that makes living worthwhile, then you need to hold on tight, whatever the risks are."
Kara was doing her best not to cry. He had a point. He had a really good point. He had a lot of them. None of them touched the fear that was inside her, but any one of them hid it for the moment.
"Kara, I want you," he said gently. "And right now, maybe I need you. I think you need me too. Why are we worrying about complications that we may never live to see?"
"If you need someone, I can think of half the girls in the squad that would love to be of service," she said evasively, hating every damned one of them. Frak, why did he have to look at her with those blue eyes that could see everything.
"That's an exaggeration I'm sure, but it wouldn't matter if it was true. They're not you," he said simply.
"Yeah, well, what's so special about me?" she muttered, doing her best to edge back away from him. She couldn't keep her thoughts straight with his hands on her, and his lips…
"Where do you want me to start?" he asked with a grin. "In the air, on the deck, or in the bed?"
"None of the above," she said, wishing she hadn't given him the opening.
"In the air you're amazing. You don't have a single fear, and you can make a Viper do things it was never designed for. It's like watching a ballet or something – perfect motion. And when we fly together, you know what I'm thinking before I do."
Kara watched Lee warily. He wasn't pursuing her, but instead had tucked one hand beneath his head and propped himself there on his side, every part of him visible to her. It was a distracting sight.
"On the deck you're a wonder. You know the crews and the planes as well as the chief, and they know it too. They trust you, even though you're a pilot. The respect you, and that's something hard to come by. You act tough, Kara, but I've seen in a week what you may never understand. These people think you walk on water, and because they believe it, more often than not you do. That kind of trust takes time to build, but you've done it when others might not have bothered. You should be running this circus, not me."
"I'm a troublemaker," she reminded him. "No respect for authority."
"No tolerance for weakness," he corrected. "You don't tolerate it in others, and you won't accept it in yourself. But we're all weak sometimes. It's okay to be weak when the world is coming apart. It's okay to need one another. And it's okay to want to just forget it all for a few minutes."
"You make me forget," she said, and her voice was accusing.
"Good," he replied. "Because I'm just getting to the bed."
"We've never been on a bed together before."
His smile was slow, thorough, and it truly worried her. He was planning something, and she was terribly afraid she was going to like it, and like it far too well. "That's too bad," he finally said. "Because if you're half as good in the bed as you were on the floor, I could definitely get used to this."
"We can't get used to this," she said desperately, edging just a little further away from him and realizing that she was rapidly running out of bed. "You're my boss! Do you know how much trouble we'd be in?"
He went on as though she hadn't spoken, his only movement putting out an arm to keep her from rolling backwards off his bed. "In bed, you're incredible," he said in a deep, throaty voice. "You fit me perfectly, inside and out. You know just where to touch, just what I need and when I need it, and you make the most incredible sounds when I'm inside you."
Kara felt the blush rising from her chest, to neck, and then to her face. Having sex was a lot easier than talking about it. "Lee, any woman would be…"
"Not a chance," he told her, his voice losing it's coaxing quality and developing a core of steel. "Kara, I've been with other women. It's not a secret. Sex feels good, and I like it, and that's just how it is."
"At least we've established that," she muttered, wishing she could just crawl under the bed and hide.
Lee moved closer to her, tugging her back towards him as he did so. She could have fought him, but she just didn't see the point. She was getting tired of fighting what they both appeared to want. "I've been with a lot of women, but not a single frakking one ever made me want to go back for seconds," he admitted quietly. "I'm not proud of that, but it's the truth. And I can tell you the difference between that and this."
"There's a difference?" she asked tentatively.
"Yeah, a big one. To begin with, you fit me. Everything just… goes where it should. It's not awkward or uncomfortable – physically or emotionally. We fit together like puzzle pieces."
"You've had a lot of practice," she argued.
"You're right; enough to know that this isn't how things usually are, at least not for me. Sex is… recreation, or something close to that. That's all it's ever been. And mostly, I could take it or leave it. But when I touch you… it's more. I don't understand it, and I can't explain it, but it's just… more. It's worth arguing about, or taking flak, or whatever. To me, it makes the rest worth it, too. I don't just enjoy you; I need you."
She was silent for a long time, searching blue eyes for honesty, and finding it. In a way she was relieved to know that the connection appeared to go both ways, but in another way she was frightened of the obligation of being that important to anyone. She wasn't good at relationships, and never had been. And the one time she'd broken all her rules – had fallen in love – she had lost more of herself than she cared to admit.
"If you still want to go," he told her, "I understand. Really. But I needed you to know how I felt about it. I can't tell you I'm in love with you, or that I understand all that's happening, but I can tell you that we've got something special. I'd like to see where that goes."
Could she argue with that? Did she want to? Lee made it sound like it was worth the risk – any risk – even to her career, her wings, or her commission. And she had to ask herself that if it wasn't, then what was? She liked Lee – maybe more than liked him. And she needed him, too.
Leaning forward, she left her tenuous position on the edge of his bed and rolled herself closer to him. With one hand behind his head, she pulled him down for a kiss that was hot and wet, and that went on for a very long time. By the time she lifted her lips from his, she had left no doubt what her decision was, and she had no doubt where he stood either. Even if he hadn't said a word to her before, the feel of his body hardened against her thigh was a dead giveaway.
He didn't need any more invitation than that. Rolling to his back, and taking her with him in the process, he pulled her up onto his chest as he resumed the endless kisses that she had come to crave from him. His hands caressed her back, and paid particular attention to her bottom, which set up a tingle between her legs that spread upwards. His hands had shifted her until she straddled him, but he didn't let her sit up. He held her head down to his using a well-placed hand, kissing her constantly His tongue was seeking and finding absolutely every hidden space in her mouth. It appeared that he was finished talking. That was fine with her as well.
Kara rubbed herself over his length, not surprised to find herself slick and ready for him. Every moment that he'd been trying to convince her to give this a chance, he had made her need him a little more. She had wanted him in the first place, and had only been moving away because she thought that for once in her life she should do the right thing. Right or wrong, she was glad that he had changed her mind. And as his body slid into hers, fitting just as he had said – like pieces of a puzzle – her groan of pleasure matched his.
His hands began to move, leaving her head and bottom, then rubbing along her back in a constant rhythm that was anything but soothing. Kara gasped at the pleasure expanding through her, shortening her breath and wringing a moan from her throat. Lee had been right about a lot of things, one of which was that she wasn't quiet when he was doing this to her. He generated too much emotion for it to be kept silently within her. Some of it had to edge its way out. If she hadn't trusted him so much, it might have embarrassed her. As it was, it only made her want to wring the same type of sounds from him.
She quickened her pace, tightening internal muscles around him and getting that moan she'd been working for. She smiled in satisfaction – if he could make her crazy, then she could return the favor – and changed her angle slightly to intensify the sensations.
"Not fair," he grated out, using his weight combined with leverage to tumble her to the side. She wasn't sure how he managed it without leaving her body, but she found herself beneath him and the pace had quickened substantially. She sucked in a breath, gritting her teeth against a scream of pleasure that she needed to release and yet would not. Moans were one thing, but she'd be damned if she'd sound like some bad actress in a cheap porno vid.
Sound and light and color all seemed to spin around her as Lee drove her higher. Breathing became an impossibility as she waited for the explosion that she knew was just out of reach.
Lee stopped moving. First, she thought it must be some tactic to make her insane – revenge for delaying this. But the tension in his body bespoke more than a playful challenge. His body was coiled as though for battle, and she knew something was desperately wrong.
"You're on duty, Captain," a deep voice said, and Kara wanted to die right then and there. "I will meet you in your office in three minutes."
The hatch swung shut with a soft thud. It was one of the few hatches on the Galactica that didn't need oil; it was quiet and smooth. Shit.
Lee's breathing resumed, although his eyes were squeezed shut against the embarrassment or anger of being caught in this position by not only his commanding officer, but his father as well. Kara knew that was what he must be feeling, because it sure as hell what was in her mind at the moment.
"Get dressed," he told her softly, giving her a gentle kiss on the forehead despite the turmoil she'd seen when his eyes had finally opened. "Stay here until the screaming stops. There's no reason for both of us to wind up in the brig."
"He wouldn't…?" she began, but Lee silenced her with a look.
"Just stay," he said tensely. "Please."
All she could do was nod and reach for her clothes. Well, Starbuck, she thought. You've done it again.