Disclaimer – I don't own any of these characters – they are the property of NBC, John Wells and the fabulous Aaron Sorkin.

Rating – PG for now

Pairings – Josh/Ellie, Ellie/OC

Spoilers – None

Summary – Josh Lyman meets Eleanor Bartlet during the campaign and falls in love with the young, married medical student. For the purposes of my story, Ellie is several years older in this story and very different than she is on the show.

I've had this story in my head for years, and have finally forged the courage to begin writing. Here's hoping you enjoy it!! The song by Evanescence, "My Immortal" is the soundtrack for the story.

The titles of the next two chapters are a reference to the US Military song "Mansions of the Lord" which is featured on the "We Were Soldiers" soundtrack.

Ellie woke to the feel of fingers gently stroking her hair. Her eyes fluttered open and she turned her head, finding her mother sitting on the bed beside her. "It's raining," Abbey muttered absent-mindedly. "I was hoping it wouldn't rain today."

Ellie blinked back tears fighting for release. "I think it's rained at every funeral I've been to," she said quietly, sinking deep into the mattress and pulling the covers tight, praying that if she just wished hard enough, the pain would go away and David would be beside her again.

"David deserves better than rain," Abbey said, sighing deeply and closing her eyes.

"Yes, he does," Ellie agreed, struggling out of the bed and standing. "I'm going to take a shower, Mom," she stated plainly.

"I'm so proud of you, Eleanor," Abbey began to cry softly.

"For what?" Ellie asked irritably, bending over to lift her robe off the chair beside the bed. "For going through the motions, for pretending that I'm coping with this?"

"For being so strong," Abbey answered.

Ellie chuckled bitterly. "This isn't strength, Mom. This is total, overwhelming fear that if I stop moving for one second, I'll die from the pain."

Ellie stepped into the bathroom and shut the door behind her, leaning against it as hot tears finally escaped her green eyes. She refused to sob, though, knowing her mother was still in her bedroom, waiting for her to emerge. She wiped the tears away and started the shower, stepping under the hot water and letting it muffle her sobs.

David was gone. She would never see him again. The contours of his face would become less defined with the passing days. She was terrified that one day; she'd wake up and not be able to remember the sound of his voice or the way his chocolate eyes would dance when he was happy.

She closed her eyes and remembered him. The tears that had been in his eyes as she walked down the aisle to him. The way those same eyes would drink her in when they made love. She remembered the feel of his hands as they explored her skin, caressing and teasing her. The feel of his hand on the small of her back, as he'd lead her in and out of rooms. That smile – the one he'd reserved just for her so many years before.

There was the pain; she'd been honest about that. But there was also the guilt. While her husband's plane was being blown out of the sky, she'd been on the phone with her boyfriend. The last conversation she'd had with David had been an argument - about Josh and their relationship. She'd lied to him – God, how she'd lied. Maybe he was right – maybe she should have been a politician. She stormed out that morning for work – not saying goodbye and not saying that she loved him.

She turned the water off and stepped out of the shower. She cracked the bathroom door open, allowing some of the accumulated steam to escape. She took out her hairdryer and set to work on her hair. David liked her hair down, and she was going to wear it that way, for him. She dried her honey- brown locks until they were damp, then took out her round brush and began straightening her wavy hair.

Satisfied with the result, she applied a little makeup, knowing that most of it would be cried off once the service was begun. She stepped into the bedroom and was surprised to find that her mother no longer occupied the bed. She threw open the closet door and took out the black dress she had brought – a simple sleeveless sheath she would pair with her string of pearls and earrings.

She glanced at herself in the mirror, surprised by how old she suddenly looked. At thirty-one, Ellie was still a young woman, but today, she felt as if she were 90 years old. She looked down at her hands – admiring the antique engagement ring David had given her nearly ten years before. Below it was the wedding ring he'd given her many years later. On her middle finger, she wore David's wedding ring, found in his personal effects and quickly shipped back to the States. She'd thought of burying it with him, but she couldn't seem to let that part of him go.

She loved him more now in his death than she had in his life. Ellie closed her eyes at the thought, fighting back the tears begging for release once again. She'd loved him so much, and for so many years, she couldn't put her finger on what had gone wrong. Her mind drifted quickly to Josh, to the relationship that began on the campaign trail, how simple friendship had suddenly erupted into love. It was never that she didn't love David, only that she loved Josh as well. Maybe more, and the thought terrified her.

The Senior Staff, with the exception of Leo, gathered outside the West Wing, having decided the previous day to travel to the funeral together. Josh stood off to the side, leaning against Charlie's desk. He closed his eyes and sighed, then wandered into the West Wing. Crossing to the President's desk, he lifted one of the frames and turned the picture to him. It was Ellie's favorite picture of her and David – taken atop the Eiffel Tower on their honeymoon in France. Her hair was blowing in the wind, but she was laughing, a loving gaze affixed upon her husband, whose hand was lifted, titling her chin up to his face.

A harsh wave of guilt swept over him and he sat the picture back on the desk. He felt no particular great loss in David McGarry's death, other than that it had devastated the woman he loved. Eleanor. God, she must be dying inside, Josh mused, making his way out of the office. He still hadn't seen her and it was killing him. C.J. stood beside the door, tapping her foot nervously and chewing on one of her fingernails. Sam sat in one of the chairs, his jacket lazily draped across his knee. Toby sat on the edge of the desk, watching press coverage of the funeral.

That's when he saw her. His beautiful, beloved Eleanor, now broken and pained, was climbing into the limousine behind Leo and Jenny McGarry. "She looks awful," C.J. muttered, almost inaudibly and Josh sucked in his breath.

"I'd look awful too if I'd just lost my spouse," Toby said irritably, switching the set off. He stood and tossed the remote back on Charlie's desk. "Time to go," he said, waving his hand in front of them.

Josh sat in one of the pews in the National Cathedral, his eyes boring holes into the back of Eleanor's head. She stared straight ahead throughout the service, reaching out blindly at one point to take Mallory's hand.

He repeated over and over again, "I love you, I love you," in his head, hoping that somehow, his love would reach her and somehow soothe her. She was trying so hard to be strong. He'd seen it before – the rigid stance, the refusal to cry in public – when she'd lost the baby and was determined to tell the world herself. It only made him love her more.

The choir from the U.S. Military Academy stood and began singing:

To fallen soldiers let us sing
Where no rockets fly nor bullets wing
Our broken brothers let us bring
To the Mansions of the Lord

No more bleeding, no more fight
No prayers pleading through the night
Just divine embrace, eternal light
In the Mansions of the Lord

Where no mothers cry and no children weep
We will stand and guard though the angels sleep
While through the ages safely keep
The Mansions of the Lord

Chills ripped through his body as he watched the pallbearers take their places on either side of David's casket. In one fluid motion, his comrades lifted the coffin onto their shoulders and began the slow procession out of the Cathedral. Eleanor stood, taking her place in line behind Leo and Jenny, never once letting go of Mallory's hand as the younger woman wept uncontrollably.

Her eyes caught his for a brief moment and he longed to reach out, to take her hand and comfort her, but his hands were frozen at his side. She passed and C.J. laid a hand on his shoulder. "Come on," she said quietly, motioning to the side door. He followed her outside and into the waiting Suburban that would carry them to Arlington.

By the time they reached the cemetery, the clouds broke and sunlight poured onto the wet grass. David's best friend, Commander Mike Terry, took Eleanor's arm and led her through the muddy ground, to her seat under the canopy that had been set up earlier.

The pastor began to speak again, but neither Josh nor Ellie heard any of the comforting words he offered. The 21-gun salute began, startling them all, but Josh was fixated on Ellie, watching intently as she nearly jumped out of her chair with the first shots. She gathered her composure instantly, bracing herself for the remaining gunfire.

Two officers snapped the American flag draping David's coffin up and began folding it. One of the officers handed the flag to David's Company Commander, who then knelt before the young widow. "On behalf of a grateful nation..." he began. Josh's heart broke as Ellie began to weep uncontrollably as the realization of the past four days finally sank in. He could almost see the walls around her cracking as tears spilled out of her beautiful green eyes.

Mallory rested her head on her sister-in-law's shoulder, sobbing as a bugler began "Taps." Eleanor rested her own head on Mallory's finally succumbing to the agony she'd kept inside for so many days, so many hours. The pallbearers stepped forward, all officers in David's unit, and placed a rose on top of their fallen friend's mahogany coffin as it began its slow descent into the earth.

TBC....