Disclaimer – I don't own any of these characters – they are the property of NBC, John Wells and the fabulous Aaron Sorkin.

Rating – PG for now

Pairings – Josh/Ellie, Ellie/OC

Spoilers – None

Summary – Josh Lyman meets Eleanor Bartlet during the campaign and falls in love with the young, married medical student. For the purposes of my story, Ellie is several years older in this story and very different than she is on the show.

I've had this story in my head for years, and have finally forged the courage to begin writing. Here's hoping you enjoy it!! The song by Evanescence, "My Immortal" is the soundtrack for the story.

"C.J.!!"

"C.J.!"

"Yes, Jack," the Press Secretary responded, pointing at the young reporter from the NY Times.

"C.J., the Times had received an anonymous tip last night regarding a secret relationship between Eleanor McGarry and Josh Lyman that began sometime before David McGarry's death last month."

"Is there a question in there somewhere, Jack?" C.J. scolded, hoping to deflect the young, green reporter.

"Is it true?"

"Is what true?" she shot back.

"Are Eleanor McGarry and Josh Lyman having a relationship, C.J.?" Jack Martin asked.

"No, they are not," she answered truthfully. Josh and Eleanor hadn't spent any time alone in the past month. As a matter of fact, the young widow was actually refusing to see Josh or to take his telephone calls.

"C.J.!"

"C.J.!"

"C.J.!"

"Christopher." C.J. called on a reporter from the Wall Street Journal, someone she sincerely hoped wouldn't be interested in Josh and Ellie's love lives.

"C.J., I'm sorry, but I've got to follow up on Jack's question. Have Josh Lyman and Eleanor Bartlet ever had a relationship?"

C.J. swallowed a groan and took a deep breath. "It is not White House policy to comment on the personal lives of its staff. However, I will tell you that Josh and Eleanor have been friends for several years."

"Just friends?" Christopher asked.

"Did I stutter, Chris?" C.J. shot back. "That's all, folks, we'll have another briefing at two o'clock.

C.J. stormed off the stage, flinging the door to her office open. Josh was already seated in one of her guest chairs. "I guess grieving time is over, huh?" he asked as she tossed her notes onto the table.

"Yah think?" she answered sarcastically, flopping into her chair. "I told you this was going to happen, didn't I?"

"C.J."

"Say the words, Joshua. I want to hear you say 'C.J., you were right'."

Josh closed his eyes and sank into his chair. "I really don't feel like it right now," he said glumly.

C.J. propped her feet up on her desk and stared at him. "You don't feel like it?" she repeated. "What's the problem, Sparky?"

"She, uh, she hung up on me again," Josh said quietly. C.J. could see the tears welling up in her friend's eyes.

"I'm sorry," she said softly, removing her feet from the desk and sitting upright. "Josh, this is hard for her. She was on the phone with you when her husband was blown up. Can you imagine the guilt she must be feeling right now?"

"I know."

C.J. shook her head. "No, I don't think you do. You're a single guy, Josh. It's not that big of a deal for you to fall in love with someone, but Eleanor was married. She stood before God and her family and friends and pledged her life to David. And she was happy – for four years, until she met you. This is a big deal. She was in love with another man."

"She WAS in love me?" he nearly shrieked. "Do you think that's true? Do you think she doesn't love me anymore?"

"Josh," C.J. tried to explain, "It was just a figure of speech. I can't really tell you how Ellie feels about you right now – other than that you are a major source of guilt."

Josh rolled his eyes and slumped in his chair. "Thanks – you really know how to boost a guy's ego."

"I didn't say it to be mean, Joshua, I said it because it's true and you need to own up to that. I'm getting slammed in briefing because you have to go and fall in love with the boss's daughter," she ranted.

"I didn't do it on purpose," he shot back irritably, rising from his chair and heading out of her office. "I'm sorry that my mistakes are causing you pain, C.J."

"Josh!" she called after his retreating form, "that's not what I..." He was gone and could no longer hear her. "Damn it!" she cursed, slamming her fist down on her desk. "Carol!" she shouted to her assistant. The brunette appeared in the doorway instantly.

"Get Eleanor McGarry on the phone, please," C.J. asked.

Ellie strode purposely through the hallways of the West Wing, heading for C.J.'s office while attempting to avoid Josh's. She was so busy trying to avoid him; she didn't notice that she was about to walk right into him.

"Ellie!" he exclaimed after their bodies collided. He reached out instinctively to steady her with his hands. For a split second, neither of them moved. Then, Ellie shrugged out of his embrace. "Hi, Josh," she said quietly.

"What are you doing here?" he asked curiously, fighting the smile threatening to erupt on his face from just being in the same vicinity as her again.

"C.J. wanted to meet with me," she explained uncomfortably. "I have no idea why."

"Oh," he answered, his eyes twinkling with delight. "You want to me to walk you?"

"I know where her office is, Josh," she said irritably. "I don't need an escort."

"I know, but I want to," he answered, ignoring her tone.

"It's a free country," she muttered, starting off again in the direction of C.J.'s office. Josh jogged to catch up with her.

"You look great, Ellie," he marveled. "You cut your hair."

Ellie brought a hand up to her newly shorn locks, which now just grazed her shoulder. "It was time for a change," she explained.

"I like it," he answered happily.

"Thanks," she muttered. Ellie swallowed hard and stopped walking, turning to face Josh. "Josh?"

"Yeah," he asked, smiling as he faced her.

"I can't do this with you," she explained, hoping that the tears forming in her eyes would stay put until she made it to C.J.'s office.

"Do what?" he asked curiously, bringing a hand up to her arm. She shrugged away from his touch again, and Josh's heart fell into his stomach.

"This, Josh," she answered, her voice barely about a whisper. "Pretending that everything is fine and completely normal. What we did was wrong."

"Ellie, it's not our fault we fell in love," his tone was defensive, but soft.

The tears finally escaped and Ellie hung her head. "It is our fault, Josh. We let it happen when we should have stopped it before it even got started. Maybe...maybe it wasn't really love anyway."

Josh felt like he'd been punched in the stomach. "Don't say that, Ellie. You know it's not true."

Ellie shook her head painfully. "That's just it, Josh. I don't know. I don't know anything anymore except that I cheated on my husband with you and now he's dead. And I can't take that back. I can't fix things with him and it's killing me."

"Ellie," he said slowly and deliberately, "I love you and..."

"Stop," she ordered angrily. "Just stop. Don't say it. I don't...I can't hear it." Ellie wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and drew a ragged breath. "I can't do this," her voice and eyes both pleaded with him. "Please, Josh, you've got to stop."

"Stop what?" he demanded, "Loving you? You think it's some switch I can just turn off because you say so?"

"You have to try, Josh."

"No," he answered, his tone growing more heated by the second, "I am going to love you until the day I die, Eleanor Bartlet, and that's something you are just going to have to live with."

"I can't," she explained, her voice cracking as she backed away from him quickly. "I'm sorry," she said, turning her back on him and heading away from C.J.'s office, toward the residence.

He watched the woman he loved walk away from him and he realized at that moment he was helpless to stop her. He stood there until he could no longer see her, until she had disappeared down the hallway leading to the residence. He stood there, hoping that she'd turn around and come back to him, or just glance at him, offering him some kind of hope. She didn't.

TBC....