Sorry about the long gaps between posts. They'll shorten if you write a
review, but otherwise it feels like nobody's reading this. Which could be
the case, but. As a warning, I'll be taking Love Beyond Death down in Nov
2003 to reformat it, but it should all be up again by New Year.
Chapter 6
Three days later, Buffy was curled up next to Angel on his couch, recalling long-forgotten memories she felt he should know about, when Angel was reminded of something himself and drifted off into a mental oblivion. Could what Willow had told him about really be possible? Could he really be with Buffy, wholly and completely? And how long would it last? Could he cope when she died?
What if she didn't want it? What if she realised how little he could offer her? What if she left him? Angel didn't think he could deal with that.
"Angel? Angel, are you okay?"
"Huh?" he muttered, coming out of his deep thoughts gradually. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine."
"The why do you have get-me-out-of-here face?" Buffy asked, concerned by Angel's vagueness.
"I. Buffy. We need to talk."
"Oh." Buffy's face fell as she realised what her vampire lover meant. "Of course. I understand." But she really didn't.
"Willow told you?" Angel gasped, surprised. "You want it?"
Buffy blinked several times. He wasn't breaking up with her, at least - so what was he talking about?
"Want what?"
"The spell. What else would I be talking about?"
"I. I thought." Buffy hurled herself into Angel's arms, sobbing with relief.
Shocked by his beloved's apparent fragility, and by her shattered outburst, Angel cradled the girl to his body and tenderly rubbed her back. Why had he started what he wanted to say like that? Why did he always have to hurt the girl he loved?
"You thought I was." he murmured, tears welling in his eyes. Angel had to force himself to say the words, they were so awful to him. "You thought I was. breaking up with you?"
Nodding against Angel's know-damp chest, Buffy tried to get even closer to the vampire. She wanted nothing more than to take comfort in his presence, in his love for her. Then she remembered why she'd thought Angel was breaking up with her in the first place.
"So." Buffy mumbled against Angel's white t-shirt. "What did you actually want to talk about?"
"Willow found a spell that could mean we wouldn't have to worry about the happiness clause." Angel's voice was low and intimate as he told Buffy of the spell that could make his dreams come true.
Frowning, Buffy looked up.
"What's the catch?"
"How - Never mind. The catch is, well. I'd have to drink your blood, only I wouldn't be me because I can't have a soul when the new spell is cast, or it won't work."
Buffy stared blankly at the ensouled vampire for a moment before realisation dawned upon her.
"So Angelus would have to drink my blood." It was clearly a statement, but Angel answered as though it had been a question.
"Yeah. I understand if you don't want to do it. I'm not even certain that iIi do. But, I know I want to be with you. I'm just not sure if I can hurt you that much to do it."
"Angel. God, I love you!" Buffy sounded like she was going to cry.
"Buffy?" Angel asked, alarmed. What's wrong?"
"Nothing," she replied, tears of joy flowing around the contours of her mouth as it curled into a grin. "But we're getting Wills to do this spell."
2003 to reformat it, but it should all be up again by New Year.
Chapter 6
Three days later, Buffy was curled up next to Angel on his couch, recalling long-forgotten memories she felt he should know about, when Angel was reminded of something himself and drifted off into a mental oblivion. Could what Willow had told him about really be possible? Could he really be with Buffy, wholly and completely? And how long would it last? Could he cope when she died?
What if she didn't want it? What if she realised how little he could offer her? What if she left him? Angel didn't think he could deal with that.
"Angel? Angel, are you okay?"
"Huh?" he muttered, coming out of his deep thoughts gradually. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine."
"The why do you have get-me-out-of-here face?" Buffy asked, concerned by Angel's vagueness.
"I. Buffy. We need to talk."
"Oh." Buffy's face fell as she realised what her vampire lover meant. "Of course. I understand." But she really didn't.
"Willow told you?" Angel gasped, surprised. "You want it?"
Buffy blinked several times. He wasn't breaking up with her, at least - so what was he talking about?
"Want what?"
"The spell. What else would I be talking about?"
"I. I thought." Buffy hurled herself into Angel's arms, sobbing with relief.
Shocked by his beloved's apparent fragility, and by her shattered outburst, Angel cradled the girl to his body and tenderly rubbed her back. Why had he started what he wanted to say like that? Why did he always have to hurt the girl he loved?
"You thought I was." he murmured, tears welling in his eyes. Angel had to force himself to say the words, they were so awful to him. "You thought I was. breaking up with you?"
Nodding against Angel's know-damp chest, Buffy tried to get even closer to the vampire. She wanted nothing more than to take comfort in his presence, in his love for her. Then she remembered why she'd thought Angel was breaking up with her in the first place.
"So." Buffy mumbled against Angel's white t-shirt. "What did you actually want to talk about?"
"Willow found a spell that could mean we wouldn't have to worry about the happiness clause." Angel's voice was low and intimate as he told Buffy of the spell that could make his dreams come true.
Frowning, Buffy looked up.
"What's the catch?"
"How - Never mind. The catch is, well. I'd have to drink your blood, only I wouldn't be me because I can't have a soul when the new spell is cast, or it won't work."
Buffy stared blankly at the ensouled vampire for a moment before realisation dawned upon her.
"So Angelus would have to drink my blood." It was clearly a statement, but Angel answered as though it had been a question.
"Yeah. I understand if you don't want to do it. I'm not even certain that iIi do. But, I know I want to be with you. I'm just not sure if I can hurt you that much to do it."
"Angel. God, I love you!" Buffy sounded like she was going to cry.
"Buffy?" Angel asked, alarmed. What's wrong?"
"Nothing," she replied, tears of joy flowing around the contours of her mouth as it curled into a grin. "But we're getting Wills to do this spell."