A.N.: Whoo, I'm on some sort of Washu kick or something. How blatantly obvious is it that she's my favorite TM character, even though I know next to nothing about her? ;; Yeah. So now I'm doing shortfics instead of the Inu-Yasha and Yu-Gi-Oh fics I'm SUPPOSED to be working on. Oh well. .; Enjoy this pointless humor spoof.
Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Tenchi Muyo or any of its derivatives (or exponents, for that matter .). It all goes to Hitoshi Okuda. I also do not own the song that (regretfully) inspired this fic: 'Brand New Beau', by Amanda Marshall. I would seriously suggest taking a look at the lyrics if you want to figure out how I got Washu to be the one to come to this conclusion.
Washu Hakubi, greatest known scientist and inventor in the explored (and unexplored) galaxies, all of more than 5,000 years old, creator of such magnificent beings as the infamous space pilot Ryoko and the battleship Souja, stared at the results on her screen and wondered if senility might at long last be settling in.
"This can't be right. I must have miscalculated a differential somewhere." The redheaded scientist muttered indistinctly to herself as she rummaged around her data files, checking and rechecking her equations. Theoretical law stated that the most accurate result is the one that shows the most repetition in the testing process. After hundreds of trials, this was the third time in a row she had come to the exact same conclusion, and she was beginning to get the sinking feeling . . .
"Maybe if I backed up to the twenty-fourth sector and started the whole thing over from there . . . " Washu rebooted some of her vid-windows and scrapped her most recent work, changing some causalities in an attempt to get a different reaction. She was so absorbed in the process that she failed to notice the knock on her lab door and the footsteps that followed up behind it.
If I altered the time-increase ratio and slowed the flow down a bit to give more density to the developing interaction and then checked the factorials for each of the individual variables' result—
Of course, no self-respecting genius ever repeats their thought processes out loud verbatim, so all her visitor heard was, " . . . ratio . . . to . . . density . . . factorials . . . for . . . individual . . . " Mumble mumble mumble.
"Ah . . . Washu-chan?"
Washu let out an undignified yelp and nearly fell off of her gravity-defying pillow. Spinning around, she scrambled to block any view of her windows with her body, laughing nervously. "L-L-Lord Tenchi! What a surprise! Eh heh heh . . . "
Tenchi blinked at Washu's odd response, but shrugged it off with the thought that he probably didn't want to know. "Breakfast's been ready for a while now. Sasami got worried when you didn't come to the table and asked me to see if I could find you."
"Oh! Must've been so caught up in all my research that I didn't notice. You just go tell Sasami-chan that I'm sorry and I'll be there in a moment. Okay? Now shoo, shoo, go on!" she ordered in an overly-cheerful voice, all the time forcefully pushing him towards the door.
Tenchi raised an eyebrow and decided he REALLY didn't want to know. "All right. Don't take too long, okay?"
Washu let out a sigh of relief as the Jurai prince closed the door behind him. That was far too close. She needed to set up a screen alert for whenever someone walked into her lab. Come to think of it, that would be useful for when Mihoshi's here . . . Oh well, better get this over with.
Most of the processes she'd used remained the same, even with the altered causalities, so she achieved the theory result rather quickly. She spent nearly twice that long staring at that result, however, before she finally heaved a world-weary sigh and shut down the system. Well, Ayeka's not going to like this, and Ryoko even less . . .
As she walked out of her lab, she went over the input and output of the experiment one last time and shook her head. Much as she hated to admit it, the results of her research had to be right. She'd applied every factor to every existing and simulated situation that she could come up with. There was only one logical explanation for the whole mess, and her calculations proved it beyond a scientific doubt:
Tenchi Masaki was as flamingly homosexual as they come.
Oh well. I wonder if I could somehow get Ryoko interested in someone like Seina . . .
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Hello. You have been directed to Halfling Rogue's answering machine. I am not here at the moment, Because right now now I'm trying to escape a RABID horde of Tenchi fangirls! SOMEBODY HELP MEEEEEEEEE!!! AHHHHHHHH!! OH, THE PAIN AND THE SUFFERING!! Please leave your review after the tone. -BEEEEEEEEEEEP-