Grow Up or Grow Apart
(continued)

"So... H-how long... was that?!"

I catch my breath and glance down to the watch I set on the ground near my shirt. Fifty-seven minutes...? That can't be right. "Trunks... I think we've been fused for almost an hour, but... I don't know how we did it."

"I'm almost dead - that's how we did it. I can't move," he breathes out in total monotone.

"Yeah, but we're not supposed to be able to fuse for that long. Thirty minutes and that's it, remember?" There's more of a confusion in my voice than an explanation. "...I- I don't get it."

He rolls over to his knees and stands on shaky legs, leading me to believe that he really does have nothing left in him as he wipes the dirt off his pants in lazy brushes. At least I'm not the only one so spent here.

"Maybe it's because we're older, or something...I don't know, 'Ten? We didn't really know what we were doing back then," he thinks out loud to me. "Not like we do now, anyway."

I run my hands through my hair as I listen to him try to come up with an explanation. I'm reminded of how weird everything feels after you just split. Like how I can still feel him inside of my body somewhere, like I can feel what he's thinking. And my hair gets this different texture to it for a little while, like it's trying to get softer and smoother like his. I wish I understood more of how fusion actually worked. My dad didn't even really know how or why it happens, even though he was the one who taught us back then. I'll probably never be able to explain it to anyone besides Trunks. It's something we share that is so far beyond explanation, where would we even start?

"It felt good," I smile to him. He pauses a while before looking back to respond.

"Yeah it did."

We sit in the silence of it. Talking seems pointless when you know what is on each other's mind.

We need to try it again.

Goten's energy always regenerates faster then mine. I can feel his anxious energy from where I sit. The impatient kid in him comes out when he's excited about something, and this is surely something to be excited about. He could use a release for all that energy he has pent up - to calm him down. I know that's what I could use about now...

... maybe that's what both of us could use right now.

We ready ourselves and have another go at it with a slightly lowered energy level then before. Goten's still a bundle of nerves, or something. Who knows? Don't get me wrong, Goten is the one who drives me to keep going with my training and to want to get better and stronger, but every now and then, I wish he was a little more laid back like I am. Maybe that's what my new goal should be for this summer - to focus him and help him to chill the hell out. He can be such a space case sometimes. Just like his father. But, I do have an idea...

"'Ten, don't go Super this time - it takes too much out of me," I tell him. There's absolutely no way I'll still be functional afterwards if we do, and besides, I have better uses for that energy anyway.

He gives me his trademark confused stare in return. I love it when he looks at me like this.

"I.. thought you were the one that wanted to power up last time. It wasn't-"

"It doesn't matter, just... keep it low this time. Cool?"

He nods back, mirroring the opening pose we've done so many times since the first. I hadn't even noticed until now that we haven't been needing to check our alignment anymore, but yet I can just tell we're on the same plane with each other. It reminds me of how we used to be all the time.

I get a little sad at the thought before focusing my mind back to the task at hand.

"Okay - Round two!"

"FUUUUU...SION...HAAAAAA!"

What the-...

Why am I so out of breath?

What happened?

I look up to Trunks, standing besides me slumped with his back up against the tree. He's in the same condition as me, except the smile plastered across his face that's making him look drunk or half asleep or something. I know for certain that we we're fused way longer than last time, but this... this isn't what it's supposed to feel like afterwards. This is... different. I feel numb, and almost... I can't explain it...

"What did you think?" he whispers next to me in labored breaths, like there's someone out here that's going to hear us. I don't react to the nudge of his knee against my shoulder that tries to get my reaction. "That's what we should be doing with fusion, right? That was awesome!"

What?

I look down to my right hand and feel something sticky and wet between my fingers.

I already know exactly what happened. My hand slowly turns to a fist as I try to control myself from loosing it on my best friend.

To say I'm upset right now would be putting it very lightly, "Are you fucking nuts?! How could you do something like this?!" I yell, awkwardly stumbling over the roots of the tree I was sitting against and scrambling to my feet. "You're such an asshole, Trunks, you know that?! Thats messed up!"

"Hey, don't get mad at me! You could have stopped it if you didn't want to do it," he jokes, trying to make it seem like this isn't a big fucking deal. I can't stand it when he acts so smug about shit like this. "You're every bit a part of him as much as I am, you know. Are you going to tell me it didn't feel good?"

I don't want to hear it. Careful not to touch my pants with my hand, I shove past him to wipe it off with something, anything. I actually plan on using his shirt, if I can find it. I feel mortified, used. My shoulders flex as I try to suppress my rising power level.

"You know, you don't have to get all embarrassed," he adds. "We both know how to-"

I don't even turn to face him before cutting him off, "I just... I don't want to discuss this with you, Trunks! Is that okay with you? Why can't you just drop it?!" I snap back, deliberately making it obvious to him that I'm using his tee-shirt as a towel for the mess on my hand. It seems that he doesn't even give a shit about that either! Doesn't anything bother him?

But he's quiet. No comeback? This isn't like him to not tease the life out of me. Go ahead. Tell me what a little kid I am.

I throw his shirt down, trying to look all tough about this and stand my ground, but the expression on his face isn't the one I expected him to have.

He looks disappointed.

At me? Better not! I'm not the one that's going to pretend that it's not totally fucked up that we just got off together in the same body, I don't care if he's my best friend or not! In fact, I think that makes it worse.

He pauses a long time before defending himself. He doesn't even raise his voice or his eyes from the grass. "We used to talk about everything together, Chibi. No secrets, remember?" It sounds like he wants to say more, but stops. "I'll just meet you back at the house."

Without another word, he picks up the shirt I threw down and takes off for Capsule Corporation, leaving me alone in the empty field to dwell on what he's left me with.

I know he's right.

Things aren't the same anymore. We've still been with each other constantly, but there are so many things we don't talk about now. I've never felt embarrassed around him before. Never. We've always been so comfortable around each other, but things are different from when they were... I don't know, things are just more complicated now, I think. I know I can still trust him with anything, but I feel... weird talking to Trunks about some things now. I don't want to admit it, but I am.

Was it because we were so simple back then - just two half Saiyan kids that liked to fight? Besides food and learning new ki attacks, nothing really mattered to us back then. At least not before Majin Buu happened. What would my life would be like now if he hadn't been there with me for all of that. The responsibility of having to save the world isn't something normal kids our age could possibly ever understand.

But I want things to go back to the way they used to be between us - before he started going to high school in West City. Before he stopped sleeping over my house like he used to. Before girls and other friends became so interesting, even though we never talk about it.

Before we got awkward with each other.