Author's Note: This highly unusual story, which is the second story of Season Three, was inspired by a conversation I had with Flower Power over a year ago, hence why she gets second billing. Evil laughter comes right after that last sentence.

Wow, it's been a year since I wrote my last story. Well, a year minus a day. Ho-ho-ho. This story was started a year ago, but I dusted it off and decided to finish it at 4:55 in the morning. This is unlike anything I've written before, so have fun. Not too much fun. But just enough…wait! That's too much! Wait!

-                       Conversation                          -

-                       By Brian                                 -

"Angst fills my soul…" I whispered sadly, looking up towards the quiet night sky…

The next thing I know I hear a loud smack, and my head reels in pain, realizing that I had been hurt once again…by the ones I loved most…

"Angst doesn't fill your soul, Ash! Why are you acting so melodramatic for?" hissed Misty, readying her mallet for another swipe at my head.

May nodded in agreement with Misty, looking tired as usual. She once said she'd give up pokémon for a trip around the world…but I hardly think she'd be able to do that if she always gets tired whenever we're traveling. I can't even count the number of times we've had to stop just because her feet hurt, or that she felt dizzy…

Poor May. I want to hold her and tell her that everything will be okay…all that walking…it's so…depressing. I look over to her, and she's walking beside Misty. I feel so sorry for her…I wish I could ease her pain.

You know…I miss Brock. He left after Misty returned, because a Nurse Joy actually decided to be his girlfriend. Who would've thought that there would be a Nurse Joy who was actually our age, instead of being an adult? I mean, after four years you'd think that every Nurse Joy would end up being way too old for Brock, but lo and behold, there she is, ready to be showered with love by my squinty eyed friend/brother-like figure.

Sigh. I miss his cooking…and his ability to distract Misty, using his Flirt attack on every girl we came across.

"Stop zoning out Ash, or will never get to Sootopolis City!" cried out Misty, and I dodged her mallet just in time.

"Sootopolis…? What's in Sootopolis?"

Now May seemed to be mad at me. "What do you think, Ash? It's the final badge that we have to get!"

Oh yeah. Right. Badges…Hoenn League…I had almost forgotten about all that…

"What's the point?"

May and Misty both exchanged worried glances at me, probably thinking that I was going crazy...

Wait a minute…I'm not crazy! Angst just is filling my soul, that's all!

"Hey! Put me down!" I demanded, helpless to stop them as they used their super-female strength to carry me.

"Well, what's wrong with him?" Nurse Joy asked, stuffing a jelly donut into her mouth at the same time.

I was about to scream "Nothing's wrong with me!" but May held my mouth shut, smiling nervously as she did so.

"We think he might be a little sick, Nurse Joy." May answered, smiling sheepishly. Lies, I tell you! I'm not sick! I feel great…I mean, I don't feel great emotionally, but I…grrr!

She tilted her head at the sight of me, probably wondering how I managed to attract such beautiful (yet scheming, angst inducing) girls to come travel with me, before stuffing another sugary sweet donut into her mouth. How is she able to keep her figure with all that junk food on her desk? There's a whole box of donuts, three bags of chips, a bag of cookies, and-

"Well, um…what should I do then?" asked the Joy cluelessly, and I had a feeling that Misty was about to bust out her mallet and inflict pain.

"You're supposed to cure him," said Misty, hitting me repeatedly on the head, causing angst to fill my soul over and over again.

May nodded in agreement, clapping her hands together in that cute, beautiful way of hers. "Yes, we feel that curing him would be the most acceptable thing you could do for us, Nurse Joy."

"I don't know what to tell you," replied Nurse Joy, as she ripped open a bag of chips. "I'm really just a temp here. My big sister is…um. She's out of town. Doing some…you know, stuff, I guess?"

I felt like crying, because that was so…beautiful. Poignant, I think, would be the proper word for it. No wonder Brock loved Nurse Joys so much. Also, they were much preferable to Misty or May, despite the fact that I loved those two more than anything in the world.

"Wargh! This is pointless! Let's get out of here." Misty pulled me by the ears, causing me great discomfort as the three of us left the Pokémon Center, which meant leaving behind Nurse Joy. The last, truly meaningful thought I had before the building disappeared from my sight was…

Do Nurse Joys get fat, or do they have a super fast metabolism? Because according to Brock they all have the same measurements when they're around ages 18 to 24…

Sometimes I wish angst didn't hurt me so much. I can feel it biting into me, and it has very small teeth-

"Oh, hello Pikachu, why are you biting into my arm?" I lifted my arm, revealing my not-sure-what-gender-it-is-Pikachu biting into it.

It looked at me with eyes filled with burning rage. Did I happen to throw away a ketchup bottle, because it's such a cliché plot device used in so many stories? Or did I kiss May in front of Misty, or did I kiss Misty in front of May, or did Misty kiss May in front of me? Wait, what?

Without another confusing, angst causing thought, I managed to get Pikachu off my arm by throwing a rice cake onto the ground. It quickly fell off my arm, no longer interested in eating my soul as it devoured the donut…I mean, rice cake. Well, whatever it is.

"I miss Brock. He always used to cook for us."

The sounds of stomachs growling could be heard…except for Pikachu, who was dancing with joy (not Nurse Joy) because it had already eaten (my soul rice cake/donut).

"I also miss Tracey, who used to draw us when we were all sleeping."

Misty did a double take, her face growing red with anger. "He used to draw me while I was sleeping?"

"Oh, it wasn't just you. Sometimes he'd draw me while I was sleeping. He'd even draw May sometimes."

May whimpered. "But…I didn't even meet this guy."

I shrugged. "True. But that doesn't change anything."

Pikachu danced in agreement.

"But…I…sometimes when I slept I didn't have any…" Misty started muttering frantically.

"Yeah, that's why he drew you every morning, because you didn't have any..."

"She didn't have any what?" asked May, silly clueless May.

I shrugged, too lazy to explain further.

"I love you Misty," said Ash, which was me incidentally. "I've loved you since the moment I met you."

May, oh-so-beautiful May, blushed. "Ash…I don't know what to say…except that I'm not Misty?"

She pointed to Misty, who was yelling at Tracey over the phone. "She's over there."

I swept her off her feet. "It doesn't matter where you are, Misty. I've loved you since the moment I met you, and I always will, until May shows up and you leave to take care of the gym."

"Oh…um, okay then. I love you too, Ash?" she replied to me, her voice sounding like a song…about Pokémon.

I kissed her, a lot. I mean, more than a lot. It was beautiful and wonderful and it was amazing, and it changed my life forever.

I think. "Did that kiss change your life forever, as it did to me, sweet May?"

"I don't know. I think you have to kiss me first before that happens," she said, her eyes twinkling as if they were like stars. Twinkle twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are. I mean, how I wonder where you are?

Misty. I love her so much that it hurts me…in my face.

May Misty = bonanza. I don't know what bonanza means, necessarily. I think I heard Brock say it one time about Nurse Joy and Officer Jenny.

Pikachu electrocuted me, telling me that it wanted more air time in order to make this story actually about Pokémon, instead of just a bunch of talking heads pretending to be characters when in truth, they could be replaced with different names and still have the same story.

Oh, how I loathe you, you electric rodent who I received as a consolation prize because I, being the unlucky hero, was late to receive my original Pokémon…which changes depending on what sources you're going on.

I was holding May and Misty close to me, never wanting them to leave me. Otherwise, I'd be stuck traveling with a bunch of guys. That would not be fun for me, or people who like writing stories about me and my wild romantic adventures, despite the fact that I'm 10-14.

Misty was kicking me, while May was holding on to me out of confusion. So much angst filled my soul.

"What a wild and crazy adventure, huh girls, who I love more than anything in this world, as well as in alternate realties where I or you two may be potentially evil?"

Pikachu freaked out in agreement, while Misty was hitting me with a wildly cliché mallet that she always seemed to be stuck with. I wonder where Max went.

Despite everything…angst still enveloped and filled my soul, causing me unbelievable misery. Was I forever doomed to have any chance of a perfect day to be ruined by this…angst I feel inside? I guess so. Might as well stay home as a bum, with two girls who have the same first letter in their names.

Hooray.

-           The End…of MY LIFE…                  -

Next up: Change