Author's Notes: *prostrates herself before her fans* I give thee another chapter! I will warn everyone that it's a bit longer than normal, due to the fact that I wrote the last five pages before I even began chapter 14, so naturally my brain felt like putting out another full length story in front of the five pages I'd already written. Ya I'm weird, but you all love me :P
p.s. I'm going to my boyfriend's this Thanksgiving weekend so don't expect another update too soon ;)

Chapter 15:

Along with the first light of morning a cool crispness permeated the air, sending two sleepy, late risers running for the warmth of the fireplace first thing after they awoke. Two heads swaying unsteadily on their feet, one of orange, the other of dark red, both huddled in front of the fire. Dark circles were absent but yawns were abundant, cutting short most of the snappish remarks that wanted to force their way out.

"Move over, you're hogging all the warmth," Marissa grumbled, arms crossed as she gave the seishi a nudge in the side with her elbow.

"Uresai nee-chan. Some of us ain't short enough to fit in the fireplace."

He would pick on her most self conscious feature. "Go ignite yourself with your tessen."

Tasuki laughed and stamped his feet, then spun around to warm his backside. "Ya got a bad mouth on ya nee-chan. Mornin's jus ain't yer thing eh?"

Marissa shot him a hard look but she was smiling despite herself. Morning banter with a bandit was more fun than she expected. "Oh I am, but I got a horrible sleep because of some wild animal snoring in my room last night."

She had to bite back a giggle at the sight of him looking nearly like a porcupine going into defense mode. "I didn' hear a thing," he retorted.

"Those wolves howling back sure did."

A look of surprise crossed his face, before being wiped away when he noticed her barely controlled laughter. A wide grin soon followed, fangs and all, which made Marissa's stomach clench uncomfortably at whatever comeback he had in mind. "Iya. I think you an Chiri got busy an woke up th'whole damn fores"

"Ohaiyo no da!"

Tasuki winked at the brightly blushing girl before turning to the monk that had just entered through the front door. "Oi, Chiri! Where's breakfast na, I'm starving!"

"Right here no da," he answered, setting a basket full of flopping fish on the table.

Oh this wasn't good. Trapped on both sides by men she didn't particularly feel like having a chat with right now, plus the smell of fresh fish was making her more nauseated than usual. Tasuki's jeering comment had hit a little too close to home and she could feel her cheeks turning the color of the flames as the memory of last night became the center of her thoughts. "I need to get changed," she stammered out quickly. A moment to concentrate on being in the other room and she felt her body displace itself in a quick burst of chi.

Tasuki looked in surprise at the spot where Marissa had stood. "I didn know she could do that."

"Neither did I no da," Chichiri choked out, hands frozen midway through the motion of taking off his kesa.

In the next room Marissa sighed and sat down heavily on the bed. It was one of those moments when you felt like the world had changed, yet no one else but you knew it had happened. Unsure whether to blurt out the secret to make everyone else change accordingly, or keep it to yourself and let the repercussions only happen inside you. She didn't even want to contemplate what those two were thinking out there, or what questions they'd ask about her behavior, or the excuses she knew she had to come up with to keep their inquiries at bay. Why did things have to get so complicated?

It was her fault in some way. Her being here being the largest mistake of all. She was completely throwing off the timeline and the story with her presence, up to the point of forcing one of the wisest and stoical of the seishi to kiss her.

She wasn't sure if the shiver that raced up her spine was from pleasure or apprehension. How could a memory be so thrilling yet dreadful at the same time? Because it's everything you've been trying to prevent this whole time, dim wit, she chastised herself. For months now she'd been fighting her own attraction to him, finding her feelings growing deeper than just a simple crush on a handsome face pinned up on her wall. He had become flesh and blood to her, no longer unattainable, a physical reality that perfectly matched her dreams of the perfect mate. Except he was off limits. Just a character in a book (though an extremely tormented, guilt ridden one) a man that only existed only on paper. She could just feel the irony trying to weasel its way in to this situation. All perfect men were either gay, taken, or in a book. It wasn't like she was particularly pretty or desirable, so what could have possibly possessed him to do such a thing?

Why why why? she moaned inwardly. It was so tempting to march over, throw open the door, and point the question directly to his face. Why did you have to do that? What could I have done to stop you, or did I even want to stop you, did you want me to stop you, or... arg!

Marissa let her body fall backwards on the bed with a thud. This was all too much. And worst of all, he was in there pretending like nothing had happened. When she'd woken up again he was gone, a part of her momentarily fearing that he had fled the house because of what had happened. But Tama-chan had been sitting patiently at the door waiting for his master to come back, the magically inclined cat having reappeared the day after he'd disappeared into the rain. Everything was leading up to a very painful headache: her own tormented sleep, then Tasuki's joke, and now this - complete indifference to her. Well that wasn't it exactly. He was acting normal for once, which of course meant that things weren't normal, right?

Or am I just trying to find meaning in something that was stupid and didn't mean anything to him and shouldn't mean anything to me? Ugh. But the way he looked at me... She sighed and closed her eyes, letting herself drift back to last night. He'd felt so warm, his eye boring into her, searching into her very soul, and that kiss! Who knew that her first kiss would be so passionate and breathtaking, leaving no chance for her to even think or react. It seemed almost unfair now as an afterthought. He had the nerve to think I didn't want to kiss him back. Baka.

For a few more minutes she lay there, fingers loosely threaded over her stomach, letting her mind drift on a sea of questions and half completed thoughts. Her musings were interrupted though by a soft knock on the door. A muffled voice floated through to her. "Mari-chan, are you decent no da?"

Chipper, a hint of humor lingering on the 'decent' part. Yep, he was definitely acting normal. She groaned and sat up, feeling her irritation building. "No!" Let him figure out that response.

One eyebrow raised she watched the closed door, listening to the shuffling on the other side, an inaudible comment being made by Tasuki around a full mouth. A moment later the sudden noise of a bowl being dropped and a cat howling in pain ripped Marissa from her thoughts. Grumbling darkly to herself she reached under the bed and pulled out her bundle of clothes. First he goes and hurts me, now they're hurting my cat! That wasn't exactly true, but her mood was seeking to find excuses to grow even more upset. Quickly she stripped off her outer wear and pulled on a fresh pair of pants and one of her favorite long sleeved tunics, the fabric colored a shade of light sky blue. However the pleasure that usually came from wearing the outfit was absent this time. She felt hollow inside, but the emptiness was quickly being replaced by cold anger. Retying the bundle shut before shoving it back under the bed, she rose and combed her hands roughly through her hair, not stopping until she felt all of the tangles leave the strands. What she wouldn't give to have a mirror for once. Just another convenience you've been forced to live without, Mari, she reflected bitterly.

It really was drab and uncomfortable living here, no mirrors, or toilets, or bathtubs, not even a decent kitchen to cook in. She was starting to get really tired of rice and fish every single morning. But of course that's all there was to eat in this place. They had no food beyond the stores that were already here and everything they ate had to come off the land some way or another. Chichiri was a man used to the road and a harder life, but what about her? You've just been too preoccupied ogling over him to complain before, she realized grudgingly. But in all honesty, this had all really felt like a dream up until now.

Magic was fun but not real, anime characters only existed on screen, magical worlds were definitely not a common happening, so obviously this was all just some crazy dream that she'd wake up from eventually. The truth was finally sneaking up on her though, she was really stuck here, and that fact struck her hard and painfully. And what hurt most of all, the worst part about everything, was that she had no clue if she'd ever get back home. No one had tried to help her get back, not even Taiitsukun, supposedly all-powerful guardian of the world. They'd all brushed her aside, calling her an "anomaly," something not even worth paying attention to while she was here. 'Let's just let it go and see what happens. So what if she dies, she's not a miko or anyone important, just another strange girl from another world who knows a bit more than the average person.' No one here would mourn over my death, just my parents and friends back home who are probably worried sick about me, but I don't even get a chance to go home like Miaka did. This is so unfair!

Marissa could feel her sadness and frustration quickly turning into hot anger, upset at the world for keeping her here, angry at Taiitsukun for not helping her more, angry at Chichiri for putting her in this foul mood in the first place. She felt stuck and helpless and like she was being used for some higher purpose she wasn't aware of. Why else would she be here at just the right time with the right knowledge, bumping into the man of her dreams only to have him toy with her heart and lead her to believe things that couldn't be true? Chichiri no baka! she felt like screaming at the wall, but instead she chose to stalk over to the bedroom door and throw it open.

If the two men were startled to see a freshly dressed, though very irritated looking woman open the inner door, they showed no sign of it. Taking a seat at the table opposite from Chichiri and as far away from both of them as she could get, she grabbed for a bowl of rice and began shoveling. She was not going to let them ruin her breakfast. Chopsticks rhythmically clinking against earthenware bowls were the only sounds for a few minutes, until Marissa lowered her dish and looked pointedly at Tasuki. The urge inside her to create conflict was growing too strong to ignore. "So who dropped the bowl?"

The red head licked a few pieces of rice from his lips and had the decency to actually look guilty. "Why'd ya think it was me?"

"If Tama-chan got hurt..." She narrowed her eyes and let the sentence trail off, hoping the words sounded as much like a threat as she hoped they did.

Tasuki bristled and looked about ready to let loose a torrent of badly thought out insults, but a throat being cleared across the table stopped him just as he opened his mouth. "Tama-chan is fine, and I think it's time to get down to business no da."

Feeling like she'd made a small victory, not to mention it appeased her sour mood, Marissa smirked at Tasuki before picking up her bowl and resuming to eat. Whatever they were going to talk about it definitely wouldn't need her input. She was the outcast after all, the unaccounted for variable. I bet even eating these grains of rice is causing the world to change in some drastic way, she considered crossly.

"Mari-chan, we need your help deciding on this no da."

Chopsticks paused inside her mouth she shot a look up the table, briefly meeting the blue haired monk's masked gaze. "Why."

"Tasuki-kun and I decided it would be good to stat traveling again, but we wanted to ask you first if there's anywhere we should be going, or shouldn't go no da."

Oh, so that's how it was. Use the fortune teller to lead you down the right path and make sure your skins get saved in the process. Since I AM the unknown factor here, of course I'd screw things up enough so that you'd miss being in the right place at the right time, but why take the risk, just ask me where to go first. You don't know how tempting it's becoming just to drop you off at Tenkou's lair, all nicely wrapped and ready to be eaten. "I don't know," she answered darkly.

Perhaps Chichiri was finally sensing her angry mood because he shifted in his seat and shot Tasuki a look. "Maybe now isn't a good time then no da..."

"No, it's perfect," Marissa bit out lightly, feeling her angry mood worsen at the chipper words. "So tell me, where exactly were you two thinking of heading?" Hands folded neatly on the table, head cocked slightly to the side in curiosity, she presented a woman simply getting down to business. The clouded anger in her eyes was the only thing revealing the whole thing to be a sham.

Tasuki, being his normal, oblivious, blundering self, went right on ahead speaking. "Na, lets go ta Eiyou! Free food, warm beds, good sake, someone waitin on ya hand n'foot. I dun need 'consultin' te decide that."

Marissa was so happy she actually had a legitimate reason to say no. "We can't," she responded sweetly. "Houki... I'm sorry, the Empress, has a son who you can't meet yet."

Chichiri raised an eyebrow but Tasuki beat him to the punch. "An why th'fuck not?" His irritation was rising faster than her own and Marissa felt a rush of perverse enjoyment at making Tasuki just as pissed off as she was.

Because you're a loud mouthed, spoiled brat, who doesn't deserve that kind of luxury from a woman as kind and as distraught as her. The words were temptingly resting on the tip of her tongue. But she chose the quicker, more painful route. "Because I said so."

Chichiri, looking distinctly uncomfortable now, seemed to be trying to gather his thoughts to choose the right words to end this growing argument. But it was Tasuki that Marissa was focused on, the loose cannon of the group, and the easiest to piss off. He was practically seething at this point. "Who th'hell gave ya th'fuckin right ta tell us what shit ta do?"

Marissa scowled and slapped her hands palm down on the table. "I didn't ask to be here you ass. Go wherever the hell you want for all I care, I don't want to stop you any more than you want me to. The only reason I'm being included in this stupid discussion is because I know the future and you want to make sure your skins will remain intact long enough to take care of whatever "new threat" is planning to come along. Well guess what, I refuse to be used any longer. I'm sick and tired of this place and everything I know, I just want to go home!"

Slamming her fists on the table she sprung up from her seat and walked out the front door before either of them could respond, a loud bang following her departure as the door was slammed shut with a large burst of chi.

"She 'as yer ability in takin' it out 'n doors, too," Tasuki remarked with an attempt at humor after a few silent seconds had passed.

But Chichiri was silent, watching the closed door with an unreadable expression, one hand clenched atop his knee under the table. He seemed to be facing an inner struggle that was going unnoticed by Tasuki, the red head staring undecidedly at the table before picking up a bowl of rice and continuing to eat. After a full minute of silence had passed Chichiri seemed to relax and focused on Tasuki. "Lets keep going. We should plan to leave by tonight at the latest no da."

The bandit raised an eyebrow in surprise. "What about Mari?"

"She'll come back no da." I hope

*~*~*~*~*

Later that afternoon, when a cool wind had picked up and the sun's noonday heat was waning, the front door of the cottage opened slowly to reveal the silhouette of a young woman peering inside the structure curiously. The fire was out and the table was cleared, the crates and barrels stacked neatly in the corner once again as though no one had ever lived there, let alone for nearly 3 months.

It was completely silent and deserted, save for a single figured that sat leaning against the wall in one of the small wooden chairs, a shaft of light from the window illuminating the back of his spiky hair. "Bout time ya got back nee-chan."

Marissa shrugged and stepped into the house, but the fire had gone out of her eyes and her stance, leaving her looking weary and resigned. "It seems we've moved," she remarked absently, eyes glancing around the room to confirm what she'd first seen.

"Yep." Tasuki stretched and stood up, giving the chair a kick to return it to its normal spot in the corner. "Cept when we're gunna leave, we were kinda short one person, if ya get my meanin."

Marissa paused in her investigation of the side room to see if anything was left, and turned slowly to look at Tasuki. "And Chichiri?" she asked slowly.

Tasuki's expression turned slightly hopeful. "He's waitin' in town. Said we weren't gonna leave without cha. Bookin sum rooms an getting supplies fer us I guess." He shrugged as if the preparations were beside the point. "Ya comin with us?"

Walking to the front door Marissa sighed and nodded. Tasuki made a sound of relief and ushered her out of the house, closing the door behind them. They began walking down the dirt road at a brisk walk, the bandit whistling happily. "Chiri'll be relieved," he offered up after a moment, the slight sag to her shoulders and the listless stride in her step not going unnoticed.

She seemed to not hear him, or was ignoring him, but when he opened his mouth to speak again she straightened up and turned sideways to give him a smug smile. "After all, someone has to keep you two from getting into trouble."

The fanged grin was quick to appear, amber eyes gleaming at the prospect of a challenge. "Ever fought a gian' bug demon tha liked ta suck up people's souls?"

"No, but I know you didn't either, just let Mitsukake do all the hard work."

His face fault was priceless. "Yakamashii!"

Their banter could be heard continuing down the road for miles.

*~*~*~*~*

Marissa walked slowly down the middle of the hay covered ground, hands clasped behind her back as she peered curiously inside each of the wooden gates, the flick of a long tail or the gaze of large brown eyes meeting her inquisitive stare. The stables were all indoors, a luxury for the horses in an era such as ancient China. Iron padlocks sealed each of the high doors, allowing only the heads of the taller horses to rest their chins on the gates, staring down passersby that happened to venture through. Marissa opted to keep a safe distance between herself and those more wild looking beasts. She loved horses, with their quiet strength and soulful eyes, but that meant understanding one didn't just run up to the creature and wrap your arms around it like a kitten. These animals commanded respect no matter what area of the world you came from.

She came to a stop in front of a gate placed lower than the rest, allowing the dun colored mare inside a comfortable rest for her neck if she chose to look out of her stall. The gentle curve of a tan colored back caught Marissa's eyes first, a chestnut colored tail streaked with fine strands of yellow that gave the entire thing a shine, not unlike that of freshly polished wood. It swished carelessly around the mare's hindquarters, a slightly disheveled mane falling down her neck while she ate out of the trough near the door. But it was the face that had caught Marissa's attention, a blaze of cream that shot down from her forehead to the tip of a pink nose dotted with gray, and bright, light brown eyes that seemed to sparkle with inward humor.

She smiled and walked up to the gate quietly, placing her hands on top of the fence to watch the horse inside tend to her daily needs. "Well hey there," she greeted in a high sing song voice.

The mare batted a set of long, jet black eyelashes at her, continuing to eat while she observed the human observing her. The humor of the situation was not lost on Marissa and she found herself chuckling, the fingers on her hands slowly wiggling to life with the desire to touch and feel and not just look. The mare's ears rotated and flickered at the sound of quiet laughter and soon she lifted her head, jaws still working to grind down the last of her food.

Marissa held out her hand palm up in silent offering and watched the mare look pointedly from her empty hand back up to her face before stamping a front hoof. "Oh I see how it is, you want food." Looking around she spotted a nearly empty basket a few stalls down which appeared to have vegetables tossed inside, the leafy green head of a carrot poking over the top. Stealing a glance to make sure no one else was in the stables, as being caught giving the horses extra food would probably ruin their chances of getting a good price, she scurried over to the basket and plucked out the carrot she had seen from a distance.

This time the mare perked up and immediately came to the gate, tugging at the long carrot with soft hairy lips that tickled the tips of Marissa's fingers. While she nibbled Mari took the opportunity to run her hand down the creamy blaze, feeling how the fine hair fanned out and changed directions from top to bottom. She really was an amazing creature, small but sturdy and extremely intelligent if there was anything to judge by the way her eyes were locked on Marissa while the human continued in her exploration of petting and stroking.

When the carrot was finished and Marissa felt her fingers being gently sucked on to discover any last bits of food she giggled and pulled her hand away, laying it on the mare's mane and stroking a few of the tangles out of her hair. It was then, in that quiet moment of understanding between horse and human, that Marissa felt a familiar chi enter the stables. Warm, powerful, carefully dampened, it sent an unexpected shiver down her spine and made her heart beat faster.

The mare noticed the newcomer too, for her eyes flickered over to stare at the man that had stopped a few feet behind Marissa, letting out a quiet snort. But she didn't pull away when Marissa's grip tightened slightly on her mane, the girl's back still facing the masked monk who had entered the stables alone. After a moment Marissa felt some of the tension leave her muscles, though her heart was still pounding loudly, and with a conjured air of nonchalance she began stroking the mare's muzzle. "She's beautiful isn't she?" Inwardly she cheered at the normalcy of her voice.

"She is."

The double meaning of those two simple words brought a flush to Marissa's cheeks and a pang to her heart. No, I'm not going to turn around. She feared and yearned for the look she might find there if she did, drawing her back to the night when that ocher eye had gazed at her with a thousand naked emotions. Would he be smiling normally again, the mask in place like it had been since? Or would it be off, opening his soul to her, allowing her to see the wound underneath that she'd come to love, every raised line that scarred his beautiful face. What are you doing to me!? She wanted to shout. The desire to dive back into his mind was nearly overpowering, to work her way back to that place where they had embraced and shared their souls. No bounds to hold them back. Maybe then she could find out the truth, find out why he had kissed her and then left her to remain trapped in her own confusion, angry and hurt. It was a battle she was losing with herself. Though she would never throw herself at his feet and beg, she knew her lips were aching to say something just as forthright, to wring a confession from him and hear the real words behind his eyes that night.

Feeling the nervous tremors in her stomach work their way through to her outer limbs she ducked her head under the horse's neck and moved to stand on the other side of it, keeping one hand curved against the mare's tan cheek. She could see him now, safely obscured by the large head of her new found friend. Dressed up in all his fine attire, the way she had seen him depicted so often in her memories, both out of the books and in full animated color. The was the lines of the outfit that reminded her all too well of what lay underneath. The broad line of his shoulders, smooth biceps that spoke of quiet underlying strength, and a flat toned chest that narrowed down to... God now I wish I hadn't seen you naked, she moaned inwardly.

She licked her lips and slid her eyes over to study the mare. "Are we ready to leave yet?"

"Almost. Tasuki's picking out saddles, then they'll bring them in here to fit them on the horses no da."

He took a few measured steps closer to her and approached the other side of the mare, causing Marissa's stomach to give a nervous flip and tumble. She withdrew her hand from the horse's cheek closest to Chichiri, moving to stroke it down the long muscled neck of the beast. He stopped opposite her and set his staff against the stable door, reaching out a hand to gently pat the horse's mane, long delicate fingers mixing with the tawny brown strands.

"She's very tame no da."

Marissa nodded, the bob of her head just visible over the stretch of creamy nose. "I like her, and I think she'd be perfect for me. He said we could pick any horse we liked."

It wasn't a question but the need for normal conversation was compelling, especially after what had happened that morning. Do you forgive me? she wanted to ask. But that was a question that couldn't be voiced, not after everything he had done to her. She had fled the house angrily, half hoping as time went on that he would come and find her, take her into his arms and whisper comforting words, telling her how sorry he was and how much he loved her. But he'd never come, just like she had known all along that he wouldn't. The anger had quickly turned into disbelief, then sadness, then resignation, finally ending with her returning to the house like a rebuked child only to find that they'd packed up and left. Despite Tasuki's reassuring words, she still felt like a piece of luggage being brought along for her usefulness.

"He did say that no da. Mari-chan?"

She bit her lip. "Hai?"

"Do you know how to ride a horse no da?"

She let out a quiet whoosh of relieved air at the simplicity of the question. "I'm not an expert, but I've ridden them a few times, had a few lessons. I should be fine. Anyway," she smiled, giving the mare's nose an affectionate rub. "I think she likes me."

There was an unexpected silence for nearly a minute, ending when Chichiri cleared his throat uncertainly, his hand that had been petting the horse pausing in its strokes. His voice came out quiet and with badly concealed worry. "Marissa... did you mean what you said no da?"

She paused in her diligent petting as well, hand slipping from the horse's neck. "Mean what?" she asked just as softly.

"That you want to go home no da. Do you really hate it here that much?"

She couldn't find the words to answer that. Ashamed at her outburst from earlier, moved that he had even remembered them, guilty because a part of her had whole heartedly meant them at the time. Crossing her arms she stepped back from the horse, and felt a watchful gaze descend upon her like a rainstorm during monsoon season, heavy and unavoidable to ignore. Chichiri's face was turned on her expectantly, a hard stare she didn't dare try to read in to, let alone try to figure out what was really being shown behind the mask. Feeling smothered under that look she turned and fled, heading at a fast walk away from Chichiri. She'd taken a few steps when she looked up to see a blank wall a dozen feet ahead of her. Halting her feet she let her shoulders drop in embarrassed defeat. That had been smart, and rudely obvious to him that she'd been trying to run away. Though she wouldn't put it past him to have already left, the thought followed with a pang of both relief and sadness.

But a light touch on her shoulder caused her to freeze, the breath she had been taking catching in her lungs, and that warm presence of familiar chi enveloped her personal space nearly to the point of being suffocating. But it was drowning in a sea of masculine strength, wanting so badly just to let go and lean back into the feeling of being protected and wanted. Fingers tips pressed against her back that didn't demand, giving her the option to pull away if she desired, to escape the moment and deny two hearts that were still struggling to find the right words.

"Marissa" he began, and she felt his hand slip down slightly from her shoulder. "I'm sorry about what happened no da. About everything. I haven't been fair to you"

Brow furrowed Marissa turned around to face him, feeling his hand slide from her back at the movement. His masked face looked stricken, half circle eyes drooping and his mouth reduced to a tiny point. "When are you talking about?" She couldn't stop the snappish tone that leaked out with the question, feeling betrayed that he might completely ignore what had happened between them last night.

"This morning" he paused at the look on her face, hurt disbelief shining through her eyes. "And last night no da," he finished softly.

"What about them," she asked quietly, afraid that if she spoke too loud her voice might crack and let loose the tension that was building in her stomach.

"I need to apologize for my actions, both times. It wasn't right, and unfair to you." He stopped speaking when she took a step closer, though made no move to back away, his masked eyes gazing somewhere over the top of her head now.

"Please take that off." Marissa pointed to the mask, struggling to dampen the quivering tone in her voice, yet also trying to resist the temptation to rip Chichiri apart verbally in his moment of vulnerability. "If you're going to say sorry, it should be from Houjun the man, not Chichiri the smiling monk."

He sighed and pulled away the paper mask, the face underneath downcast and lips drawn into a nearly pouting frown. His eyebrows were pushed together, revealing the worry lines on his forehead that few ever got to see, and his eye was now pointedly directed towards the ground, having found the hay under their feet compelling to watch. It was ironically very adorable to see Chichiri in such an uncomfortable state and Marissa felt her heart twinge in compassion, realizing just how deep his sorrow went over this matter. Beyond her own pained heart the need to comfort his wounded soul was beginning to outweigh any other needs of her own. It was so hard to stay confused and upset when he was standing before her naked like this, willingly setting aside his method of disguise merely because she'd asked it of him. The knowledge came like a tiny beacon of light, urging her on to hear the reasons he still hadn't explained to her. "What am I to you?" she asked quietly.

If anything his expression seemed to become more pained, one hand drifting up slowly to finger a lock of hair that had fallen over her shoulder, as though she might pull back if he moved too fast. His eye watched his hand and her eyes watched his face. She would give him all the time in the world to answer that question, just to hear the answer she'd been dreaming of and trying to forget at the same time. What was the future but a story she'd read in a book somewhere, warnings she'd spoken to herself just to save her own heart from being too bruised by a man that could never possibly love again. But he was here, now, touching her, looking at her in the way she'd dreamed all her life of being looked at. Something had changed outside of her control, and it made her heart beat faster in memory of the kiss they'd shared. What woman would throw all that away just because of an irate self-made god?

And before she knew what she was doing her heels were stretching up and her lips had found his, enveloping his startled mouth in a soft kiss that she should have stopped yet didn't want to end. She kissed him slowly, eyes shut and breath held, feeling his pounding heart under the hand that she'd rested on his chest to keep her balance. He wasn't responding yet but it didn't matter, she could hear his quick intake of breath and feel the heat radiating off his body, sweet waves of red that made the tingling in her stomach drop and rest somewhere inside her lower abdomen, making her beg silently in her mind - please, please kiss me back!

Then the barest movement of his lips, an answering pull to her pushing, and she felt his hand close over her shoulder and draw her closer, head bending down to make full contact with her mouth. It was less passionate than their first but spoke volumes more, a kiss filled with want and love and the need to hold and comfort, building slowly towards an unknown pinnacle they were both wary yet curiously wanting to achieve. The light pressure of his hand settling on her waist made her shiver inside, his thumb rubbing an unguided pattern over her fabric covered skin that made the tingling suddenly turn into a molten pool of want.

She felt him pull back minutely after a moment, worry suddenly springing up that he was pulling away, but his lips stopped and settled against hers, each of their breaths coming out ragged and quick. "We can't do this," he whispered against her mouth.

The implications his words should have had were quickly fading as his breath mingled with her own, the taste buds in her mouth picking up on the subtle flavors carried by it. The need to taste inside his mouth was growing stronger by the second and boldly she darted out her tongue to taste his lower lip. "Then stop me," she whispered back, the low words spurred on by a desire to push him over the edge. Power through passion was an addicting though unfamiliar rush, and she was loving it.

He gave a soft groan before planting another kiss on her lips, this one harder and laced with barely controlled passion. She was caught off guard by the suddenness, melting in his hands as he tipped her head back with the pressure of his lips. But this one didn't last nearly as long as she would have hoped, for he pulled away from her suddenly and stepped back, hands releasing her and clenching at his sides.

"We can't do this," he repeated slowly, keeping his eye carefully averted from her flushed and hurt looking face. Any response she might have countered that with was cut off by the stiffening of his body, the mask back on his face faster than she could follow. "They're here no da."

Turning on his heel he strode towards the stable entrance, arriving at the end of the rows just in time to meet Tasuki and the stable owner coming around the corner, looking as though they were carrying enough bags and saddles to fit on 10 horses. "Oi, Chiri!" the bandit hollered, leading the three of them to engage in another conversation that probably had to do with payments and favors. At the moment Marissa didn't particularly feel like stretching her brain to understand what they were saying.

Hoping that her face didn't look as miserable as she felt she scampered back over to the dun mare, trying to use the horse as a cover while she dried her eyes. The mare had leaned her head back over the stall door at the sound of Marissa approaching and was now giving the girl a look of deep sympathy in her luminous brown eyes. Burying her face in the horse's mane she let the sounds of conversation fade into the background, a part of her wishing to be granted a few moments to collect herself, while another wailed over her embarrassment and loss. She was most definitely not going to start crying, no matter how badly her chest hurt or how broken her heart felt.

"You're my only friend," she whispered to the horse, ironic bitterness leaking through her words. But the horse merely flicked her ears and stood her ground, letting the human girl have her moment of remorse against her neck.