Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all associated characters do not belong to me
but are the property of J.K. Rowling.
Hey everyone! I'm so sorry about taking so long to update but I had a bit of a writer's block and then I had a whole bunch of homework pile up on me plus I have track and soccer practice all the time and I have a boyfriend now. (His name's Chris and he had a cameo in this story awhile back and I'll probably have him pop up again. I put him in Hufflepuff so he's a first-year like Lily and the others.) In other words-my free time is very limited at the moment. Basically it's taken forever to write this chapter for about a billion different reasons but now I finally have time! Anywho, this chapter should be nice and long and again, I apologize for the wait. (Wow-it's basically been three whole months, I should probably write really fast from now on then.)
P.S. There's a little bit of bad language in this chapter but it's the name of a card game so no one's being called bad names.
Chapter 24: A Star Studden Evening
Lily could hardly believe that the talent show was less then a week away. She and the other girls had been practising dilagently and had really improved their singing skills. An agreement on costumes, however, was an entirely different matter.
"I still think we should stick with the classic Santa hats," Karen said.
"But that's so boring!" Carol argued. "Why not reindeer antlers? That's way more interesting!"
"Wouldn't antlers be kind of heavy?" asked Kristin.
"Not real antlers," Carol said, "Cloth ones. I see them all the time at stores."
"What would we wear for clothes then?" Lily asked. "It's a good idea Carol but I don't really want to wear a reindeer suit."
"Well I dunno," Carol said, "I hadn't really thought about that."
"Why don't we just wear whatever we want as long as it's Christmasy?" Megan suggested. "That way everyone gets to wear what they want."
"But then we won't match!" Carol moaned.
"So?" Lily said, "I think it's a great idea!"
"Oh alright," Carol said, finally relenting.
"Good, I'm glad that's settled because I have to go practice with my charming older siblings," Megan said as she gathered her things. "I'll see you guys later."
"OK! Bye!" the girls called after Megan as she hurried out into the hallway.
"I don't know how she's been getting all her homework done lately," Brittany said, shaking her head. "It seems that if she's not practicing with us she's practicing her other song."
"Well it's not like we've had a lot of homework lately," Lily said as she picked up her bag. "I think every teacher but Laroche feels that we should have a break."
"Even Professor McGonagall isn't giving us much lately," Erin added.
The girls finished gathering their things and then headed down the corrider to Gryffindor Tower. As they were passing an open door to an empty classroom they heard familiar voices coming from inside.
"That sounds like James and Sirius!" exclaimed Karen.
"Oh goody," Lily muttered under her breat as she rolled her eyes.
The girls peeked inside and saw the two boys acting out a scene while Megan watched sceptically.
"You're not even trying James!" Megan critized. "Sirius is doing all the work and you're just going through the motions."
"What's going on?" asked Lily. "And shouldn't you be practicing?"
Megan jumped and spun around. "Oh, it's just you guys," she said looking relieved. "I was going to meet ups with Alex, Katie and Zack but when I heard these two-"she pointed at Sirius and James, "rehersing for the talent show I just had to see what was going on."
"What are they doing?" asked Kristin.
"The Dead Parrot sketch from Monty Python," Megan replied. "And James is murdering it."
"I am not!" James said furiously.
"You aren't nearly loud enough, you still don't know your lines and there's no feeling," Megan said. "Meanwhile Sirius is hysterically funny and knows his lines."
Sirius grinned, "What can I say? It's a gift," he said.
"I'll give you a gift," James responded, shaking his fist.
"Oh knock it off," Megan said, "Just do it right!"
"Well you do it then if you're so smart," James said, "Go on, do it!"
Megan grinned, "With pleasure," she smirked. "Sirius, take it away if you please."
Sirius grinned back, "I would be delighted," he said, picking up a cage which contained a stuffed parrot. "Do you want to change the first few lines...?"
"Nah, just keep it the way it is for now," Megan replied.
"Quite stalling and go!" James yelled in frustration.
"Alright, alright, don't get your knickers in a twist," Sirius said. He walked over to Megan, who had moved behind the desk they were using as a counter. "Hello, I wish to register a complaint! Hello? Miss?" he said with an over the top Irish accent which made all the girls laugh.
Megan turned. "What do you mean miss?" she said with raised eyebrows.
Sirius looked distinctly ruffled. "Oh, I'm sorry, I have a cold," he said. "I wish to make a complaint!"
"Sorry, we're closing for lunch," Megan said, she turned as if to leave.
Sirius shrugged off Megan's words and continued. "Never mind that my lad, I wish to make a complaint about this parrot which I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique!" he said.
Megan peered into the cage, "Ah yes, the Norwegian Blue. What's wrong with it?" she asked.
"I'll tell you what's wrong with it," Sirius said. "It's dead, that's what's wrong with it."
Lily couldn't help laughing. It was the silliest line and the way Sirius said it just made it even funnier. James on the other had did not look very thrilled at the positive reaction Sirius and Megan were generating from their audience.
"No, no, no! It's restin', look!" Megan said as she pointed at the bird.
"Look matey," Sirius said, "I know a dead parrot when I see one." He held up the cage and stared at it in a pointed fashion. "And I'm lookin' at one right now."
There were more howls of laughter from the girls.
"No, no sir, he's not dead. He's restin'!" Megan said.
"Restin'?" Sirius said in a disbelieving voice.
"Yeah, restin'!" Megan said, as she noddded her head vigorously. "Remarkable bird the Norwegian blue, beautiful plummage ain't it?"
"The plummage don't enter into it!" Sirius said angrily, "It's stone dead!"
"No, no, no! It's just restin'!"
"All right then, if it's restin' I'll wake it up," Sirius said as he hoisted the cage up again so that it was directly in front of his face. "Hello Polly!" he shouted, making all the girls laugh again. "I've got a nice cuttlefish for you when you wake up, Polly Parrot!"
Megan hit the cage, "There! It moved!" she said triumphantly.
"No he didn't!" Sirius said, "That was you hittin' the cage!"
"I did not!"
"Yes you did!" Sirius said. He took the parrot out of the cage and began shouting in it's ear. "Hello Polly Parrot!" he shouted. He then began hitting the bird against the table. "Oh wakey wakey!"
Lily couldn't stop laughing as the parrot repeatedly hit the table with a loud bang.
Sirius then proceeded to toss the parrot into the air and it flew over his shoulder and landed with a thud behind him. He turned and looked back at Megan. "Now that's what I call a dead parrot!" he said.
Lily was laughing so hard she felt as though she would explode. She'd known Sirius was funny but this was incredible! The boy was a natural comedian!
Megan stared at the bird for a moment then turned back to Sirius. "No, no, no! Now it's stunned!" she said.
"Stunned?" Sirius said incredulously with raised eyebrows-an expression that made Lily laugh again. He narrowed his eyes, "Look my lad, I've had just about enough of this!" he said. "This parrot is most definitely deceased. And when I bought it not half an hour ago, you assured me that its lack of movement was due to it being tired and shagged out after a long squawk."
Megan looked at the bird again. There was a awkward silence then, "It's probably pining for the fiords!" she said.
"Pining for the fiords?" Sirius said, his ridiculous accent making it sound even more laughable. "What kind of talk is this? Look, why did it fall flat on its back the moment I got it home then?"
"The Norwegian Blue prefers kipping on it's back," Megan said matter of factly. "Beautiful bird eh? Lovely plummage!"
"Now look here," Sirius said as waved his finger at Megan, "I took the liberty of exaiming that parrot when I got home and discovered that the only reason it had been sitting on its perch in the first place was that it had been nailed there."
Lily laughed, Sirius was definitely getting into it.
There was a pause and then, "Well of course it was nailed there!" Megan said. "If I hadn't nailed it there it would've muscled up to them bars, pecked them apart and voom!" She made a zooming motion with her hand to emphasize her point.
"Voom?" Sirius said looking extremely sceptical. Megan nodded vigorously and Sirius continued, "Look matey," he said as he retrieved the parrot and threw it on the table, "This parrot wouldn't voom if you put four thousand volts through it! It's bleeding demised!"
"No no no! It's pinning!"
"It's not pining!" Sirius yelled. "It's passed on! This parrot is no more! It has ceased top be! It's expired and gone to meet its maker! This is a late parrot! It's a stiff! Bereft of life, it rest in peace! If you hadn't nailed it to its perch it'd be pushing up daisies! It's rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible! That is an ex-parrot!"
There was another long pause and then, "Well I guess I'd better replace it then," Megan said as she turned to look behind her.
"I should think so!" Sirius said. He then turned to his audience, "If you want to get anything done in this country you've got to complain until you're blue in the face."
Megan turned to face Sirius again, "Sorry guv, we're right out of parrots," she said.
"I see, I see, I get the picture," Sirius said as he rolled his eyes.
Megan looked around, "I've got a slug," she said.
"Does it talk?"
"Not really, no."
"Well that's scarcely a bloody replacement then is it?!" Sirius shouted.
"No, I guess not."
There was a long pause then...
"Do you, do you want to come back to my place?" Megan asked.
"Sure, alright then," Sirius said, and the two turned and walked out the door.
Their audience applauded and shouted words of praise and the two re-entered the room. James, however, did not look too thrilled.
"It wasn't that good," he said, but the others ignored him.
"How come you know all that?" asked Lily.
"I have teenaged siblings and I live in a muggle neighbourhood so it's pretty much a given," Megan explained. "Especially since Zack's obsessed with Monty Python. He, Erik and Dan are doing 'Bulbous Bouffant' for the talent show."
"A couple of people are doing 'The Argument Skecth' too," Sirius said.
"And 'The Cheese Shop Sketch," Megan added, "Plus other people are doing 'The Spam Sketch'."
"Wow," said Karen, "That's a lot of Monty Python."
"But it's funny," Sirius said, "So it makes sense. Otherwise it'd just be a bunch of singing and dancing."
"Isn't Katie going to be mad that you're late?" Julie asked Megan.
Megan shrugged, "Probably but I'll just say I was in th library," she said.
"Oh really?" came a voice from the doorway. Everyone turned to see Katie standing there, hands on her hips and looking furious. "Practice was supposed to start 15 minutes ago," she said.
"I was helping James and Sirius," Megan explained.
"I don't care, you should've been at practice now march! We have a lot of work to do," Katie said.
"Fine," Megan said, "I'll see you guys later." She waved good-bye and disappeared down the corridor.
"Do you want to run through it again?" Sirius asked James.
"No," James said flatly, he was already gathering his things.
"Oh, alright then," Sirius said. "You girls going up to the common room?"
The girls nodded.
"Guess we'll be your escort then," Sirius said, "Come on Jamesie-the lovely ladies need us men to protect them."
Lily laughed, Sirius was so funny and had an impish little grin that made him look friendly but James still looked sour. Lily didn't understand what his problem was, she knew Megan could be a bit pushy and demanding sometimes but he'd been the one to say she should do it.
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The week passed in a blur. As Friday drew closer Lily began feeling more and more nervous. They had dress rehersal with everyone else on Thursday but they weren't allowed to watch the other acts and had to wait outside in another room to be called in.
"Some green room," Megan commented during the rehersal, "It's not even green!"
"It's not supposed to be," James said.
"I know that," Megan said, "I was kidding!"
"Sure you were," James said.
Lily noticed James still seemed mad at Megan, and to some extent Sirius. Lily just couldn't understand why he was mad at his two friends, it didn't make any sense, it was almost as if he was jealous. It couldn't be denied, Megan and Sirius definitely worked well together-in fact they were already planning something they could do at the next talent show.
Rehersal went without a hitch and the students were allowed to go back up to their dorms before dinner. Lily was beginning to feel as though she had butterflies in her stomach-even though the show was still over 24 hours away. She couldn't help it, she was nervous and worried about making a fool of herself. And she wasn't the only one. Carol was already quite jumpy, Karen was snapping at everyone who said anything, Julie and Erin were even quietter than usual, Brittany sat drumming her fingers as if she was playing the piano and Kristin was very giggly. The only one who seemed completely unconcerned was Megan. Although Lily did notice Megan was more talkative than usual and seemed rather hyper. Megan and Sirius were bouncing of the walls that night-literally.
"Get down from there!" Alex yelled at the two, who were currently hanging upside down from the ceiling with the help of a few choice spells.
"But it's fun!" Megan argued.
"Yeah!" Sirius agreed.
"I don't care how fun it is get down!" Alex shouted.
"Mom let's me do it at home all the time," Megan argued.
"But this isn't home this is school and school has different rules!" Alex replied.
"But..."
Alex pulled out his wand, "I'm warning you Megan," he said, "Get down now!"
"Fine," Megan said and she jumped down.
"You too Sirius," Alex said.
"Alright, alright," Sirius said as he also jumped down.
Alex looked at his watch, "Actually, I think all of you should go to bed," he said as he pointed at the younger students.
There was an loud outburst protests and complaints from the younger students as Alex and the prefects began herding them upstairs.
"This is an outrage!" Sirius yelled.
"Discrimination based on age!" shouted Megan.
Lily noticed that the two were immediately seperated and sent to their own dorms. The first year girls marched up to their dorms, got ready for bed and crawled into bed but they were all much too nervous and excited to sleep. The next day would soon be upon them and they would have to sing for everyone in the entire school plus all the family members who would be coming to watch.
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The morning of the Talent Show everyone awoke to discover Hogwarts was covered in a blanket of fresh white snow. Lily and Megan were all for having a snowball fight but unfortunately they had to go to class-not that any of the teachers would be stupid enough to try and teach something new the day before Christmas holidays. In Transfiguration Professor McGonagall handed out their homework for the holidays and told them they could sit at their desks and talk for the rest of the class provided there was no running around. In Herbology the class potted poinsettias that would be placed on display in the Great Hall for the Talent Show that night. Lily was working with Megan across from Cass, Chris, Colin Ho (whom Lily had met only briefly) and Jeff from Hufflepuff.
"I heard you girls are in the talent show tonight," Chris said.
"Yeah, we are," Megan said.
"What are you doing?" asked Jeff.
"We're singing 'Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer'," replied Lily.
Colin laughed, "I know that song," he said, "It's really funny."
"Are you nervous about tonight?" asked Cass.
"Yes!" Lily said.
"Not really," Megan said.
"How can you not be nervous?" asked Chris.
"You're even in two things!" Lily said.
Megan shrugged, "So? I'm nervous but I've been onstage before so it's not that big of a deal."
"You are one weird kid," commented Jeff.
"Oh, I know," said Megan.
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That night after dinner, the girls hurriedly got dressed and headed downstairs to the Great Hall. All of their parents had come to watch.
"Mum! Dad!" Lily said when she spied her parents talking with Mr. and Mrs. Johnston.
"Hi Sweetie!" her mother said as she gave her a hug.
"How's my girl?" said Mr. Evans as he ruffled Lily's hair.
"Good!" Lily said.
"All set for tonight?" asked her mother.
"Uh huh," Lily said with a nod, "We've been practicing really hard."
"That's what you said in your letter," said Mr. Evans.
"Where's Petunia?" Lily asked, she had only just noticed her sister was absent.
Her parents looked at each other then back at Lily.
"She didn't want to come," Mrs. Evans said slowly.
"Oh," Lily said, "I'm not surprised."
"And why's that?" he father asked.
"Because of how she acted when I got my letter from Hogwarts," said Lily.
Her mother sighed, "I don't know what's gotten into her lately," she said, "She's been very distant."
"It's because she's got all those new friends, mum," Lily said. "Don't worry about it, she'll come around. But I should go sit with everyone else, the show's going to start in like 15 minutes!"
"OK honey," said Mrs. Evans, "Break a leg!"
"Thanks!" Lily said before she went in search of her friends.
The girls checked in with a seventh year Ravenclaw who was the stage manager and then took their seats. Lily opened her program and read:
~Talent Show~
Masters of Ceremonies: Alex Johnston and Chloe Lemieux
"Fury of the Night" from Riverdance as performed by Jennifer Anderson
"L-O-V-E" by Frank Sinatra, as performed by William Turner
"Castle On A Cloud" from Les Miserables, vocals by Bellatrix Black with piano by Jennifer Strong
"On My Own" from Les Miserables, as performed by Sarah Ross
"Dead Parrot" from Monty Python's Flying Circus, as performed by Sirius Black and James Potter
"The Lady Is A Tramp" by Rodgers & Hart, as performed by Gilderoy Lockhart
Sonata in A, Second movement by Carl Philip Emmanuel Bach, as performed by Brittany Groeneweg
"White Christmas" as performed by David Bennett, Lauren Daniels, Alice Griffin and Frank Longbottom
"Favourite Things" from The Sound of Music as performed by Kayla Jones
"Bulbous Bouffant" from Monty Python's Flying Circus, as performed by Dan Davidson, Erik Ferguson and Zack Johnston
"Over the Rainbow" from The Wizard of Oz as performed by Rebecca Taylor
"Tomorrow" from Annie as performed by Joanna Wilcox
"Part of Your World" from The Little Mermaid as performed by Cynthia Nixon
"Cathy's Clown" by the Everly Brothers, as performed by Dean Edwards (drums), Dan Miller (piano), Ryan Seacrest (vocals & guitar), George Windsor (bass) and Elijah Woods (vocals & guitar)
"Who's On First?" by Abbot & Costello, as performed by Tyler O'Connell and Kevin Sinclair
~Intermission~
"Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy" from The Nutcracker as performed by Claire Dawkins
"Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer", vocals by Kristin Ambacher, Erin Bowering, Karen Carranza, Lily Evans, Megan Johnston, Carol Ngai and Julie Perna with piano by Brittany Groeneweg
"Baby Love" by the Supremes, as performed by Karen Brown, Gladys Nightingale and Rosemary Richardson
"You're So Vain" by Carly Simon, as performed by Lauren Daniels
"The Argument Sketch" from Monty Python's Flying Circus, as performed by Orlando Bloom, Josh Hartnett, Brendan Scott and Jacob Sinclair
"Sixteen Going on Seventeen" from The Sound of Music, as performed by Elizabeth Goeller and Alex Johnston
Prelude in B Minor by Frederic Chopin, as performed by Chelsea Adams
"Put On A Happy Face" from Bye Bye Birdie, as performed by Albert Peterson, featuring Colleen Miller and Rebecca Plum as "The Sad Girls"
"Silent Night", vocals by Melissa Fairbanks, Lisa Gibbons and Diane La Belle and piano by Georgina Nicholson
"The Cheese Shop Sketch" from Monty Python's Flying Circus, as performed by Zack Bennett and Bradley Scott
"Getting To Know You" from The King & I, as performed by Julie Andrews
"Greased Lightning" from Grease, as performed by Louis Andrews, Kyle Grant, Robert MacMillian, Liam Newton, Harry Osbourn, Charles Schultz, Mitchell Standford, William Turner, Boris Westman
"Say A Little Prayer For You" by Aretha Franklin, as performed by Florence Henderson, Michelle Miller, Gloria Morningstar and Anne Murry
"The Spam Sketch" from Monty Python's Flying Circus, as performed by Thomas Anderson, Joseph Bennett, Cassandra Daniels, Claire Felton, Patrick Thomas, Matthew Wilkinson and James Woodsworth
"Further On Up the Road" by Eric Clapton, as performed by Alex (vocals), Katie (bass), Megan (guitar) and Zack Johnston (drums)
"Wow," she commented, "There's so much!"
"I know!" said Karen, "This is going to be so awesome!"
The lights dimmed and Alex walked out onstage with Chloe Lemieux, the Head girl who was in Ravenclaw.
"Welcome to the Hogwarts Talent Show!" Chloe said, "I'm Chloe Lemieux."
"And I'm Alex Johnston," said Alex, "And we'll be you hosts this evening."
"Tonight we have many many acts from various students ranging in age from the youngest to the oldest," Chloe said.
"That's right," said Alex, "Our first act is Jennifer Anderson perfomring "Fury of the Night" from Riverdance. So sit back, relax and enjoy the show!"
The show moved quickly. Lily was impressed once again by Sirius' comedic talent when he and James took the stage for they're scene. James was quite funny but Sirius defiently stole the show. Brittany's piano solo was beautiful and Lily was very impressed. There was a lot of singing but everyone who performed was amazing. Zack and his friends who did "Bulbous Bouffant"-another Monty Python skit, were hysterically funny and like James and Sirius had the audience rolling in the isles laughing. When intermission came, the girls got up and went backstage, they would be right after Claire Dawkins who was doing a ballet solo.
It seemed to Lily that the intermission did not last fifthteen minutes because the next thing she knew, the lights had once again dimmed and she was standing backstage watching Claire dance. She suddenly felt rather quesy. Was it normal to feel this nervous? All too soon Claire had finished and walked backstage. Lily and the other girls hurried onstage behind the curtains as the backstage crew wheeled out the piano for Brittany. Lily could hear Chole and Alex talking but didn't know what they were saying. She heard applause and suddenly the curtain opened. She was momentairly blinded by the lights but quickly recovered when she heard Brittany start playing. Together, the girls sang:
"Grandma got run over by a reindeer
Walking home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.
She'd been drinkin' too much egg nog,
And we'd begged her not to go.
But she'd left her medication,
So she stumbled out the door into the snow.
When they found her Christmas mornin',
At the scene of the attack.
There were hoof prints on her forehead,
And incriminatin' Claus marks on her back.
Grandma go run over by a reindeer,
Walkin' home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.
Now were all so proud of Grandpa,
He's been takin' this so well.
See him in there watchin' football,
Drinkin' beer and playin' cards with cousin Belle.
It's not Christmas without Grandma.
All the family's dressed in black.
And we just can't help but wonder:
Should we open up her gifts or send them back?
Grandma got run over by a reindeer,
Walkin' home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.
Now the goose is on the table
And the pudding made of pig.
And a blue and silver candle,
That would just have matched the hair in Grandma's wig.
I've warned all my friends and neighbours.
Better watch out for yourselves."
They should never give a license,
To a man who drives a sleigh and plays with elves.
Grandma got run over by a reindeer,
Walkin' home from our house, Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe."
There was a burst of applause and Lily could see all their parents standing up in the audience giving them a standing ovation. She could help grinning, they'd actually sounded really good! The curtain closed and the girls all hugged each other as they jumped up and down chanting, "We did it! We did it!" until the crew told them they had to move. They ran back to their seats to watch the rest of the show. Right before the second last act, another Monty Python skit, Megan got up to go backstage because she and her siblings were the closing act of the evening.
"Well," Chloe said as she walked out onstage after the cast of "The Spam Sketch" had vacated the stage. "We have one final act this evening. My co- host has once again left me on my own because he and his siblings, Katie, Megan and Zack are going to perform "Further On Up the Road" by Eric Clapton. So take it away guys!"
The curtains opened to reveal the four Johnstons. Katie was on bass, Zack drums, Alex was doing vocals and Megan was on guitar. They launched into the song and soon had the audience getting into it. Well, the audience members who weren't Slytherins anyway.
As Lily watched, she noticed that Megan had a look of extreme concentration on her face but that at the same time she was grinning. Lily felt the same way, the talent show had most definitely been a roaring success.
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OK! That's it for now! Once again I apologize for the wait! I'll try and get chapter 25 up soon! Please review!
~*~MeGaN~*~
Hey everyone! I'm so sorry about taking so long to update but I had a bit of a writer's block and then I had a whole bunch of homework pile up on me plus I have track and soccer practice all the time and I have a boyfriend now. (His name's Chris and he had a cameo in this story awhile back and I'll probably have him pop up again. I put him in Hufflepuff so he's a first-year like Lily and the others.) In other words-my free time is very limited at the moment. Basically it's taken forever to write this chapter for about a billion different reasons but now I finally have time! Anywho, this chapter should be nice and long and again, I apologize for the wait. (Wow-it's basically been three whole months, I should probably write really fast from now on then.)
P.S. There's a little bit of bad language in this chapter but it's the name of a card game so no one's being called bad names.
Chapter 24: A Star Studden Evening
Lily could hardly believe that the talent show was less then a week away. She and the other girls had been practising dilagently and had really improved their singing skills. An agreement on costumes, however, was an entirely different matter.
"I still think we should stick with the classic Santa hats," Karen said.
"But that's so boring!" Carol argued. "Why not reindeer antlers? That's way more interesting!"
"Wouldn't antlers be kind of heavy?" asked Kristin.
"Not real antlers," Carol said, "Cloth ones. I see them all the time at stores."
"What would we wear for clothes then?" Lily asked. "It's a good idea Carol but I don't really want to wear a reindeer suit."
"Well I dunno," Carol said, "I hadn't really thought about that."
"Why don't we just wear whatever we want as long as it's Christmasy?" Megan suggested. "That way everyone gets to wear what they want."
"But then we won't match!" Carol moaned.
"So?" Lily said, "I think it's a great idea!"
"Oh alright," Carol said, finally relenting.
"Good, I'm glad that's settled because I have to go practice with my charming older siblings," Megan said as she gathered her things. "I'll see you guys later."
"OK! Bye!" the girls called after Megan as she hurried out into the hallway.
"I don't know how she's been getting all her homework done lately," Brittany said, shaking her head. "It seems that if she's not practicing with us she's practicing her other song."
"Well it's not like we've had a lot of homework lately," Lily said as she picked up her bag. "I think every teacher but Laroche feels that we should have a break."
"Even Professor McGonagall isn't giving us much lately," Erin added.
The girls finished gathering their things and then headed down the corrider to Gryffindor Tower. As they were passing an open door to an empty classroom they heard familiar voices coming from inside.
"That sounds like James and Sirius!" exclaimed Karen.
"Oh goody," Lily muttered under her breat as she rolled her eyes.
The girls peeked inside and saw the two boys acting out a scene while Megan watched sceptically.
"You're not even trying James!" Megan critized. "Sirius is doing all the work and you're just going through the motions."
"What's going on?" asked Lily. "And shouldn't you be practicing?"
Megan jumped and spun around. "Oh, it's just you guys," she said looking relieved. "I was going to meet ups with Alex, Katie and Zack but when I heard these two-"she pointed at Sirius and James, "rehersing for the talent show I just had to see what was going on."
"What are they doing?" asked Kristin.
"The Dead Parrot sketch from Monty Python," Megan replied. "And James is murdering it."
"I am not!" James said furiously.
"You aren't nearly loud enough, you still don't know your lines and there's no feeling," Megan said. "Meanwhile Sirius is hysterically funny and knows his lines."
Sirius grinned, "What can I say? It's a gift," he said.
"I'll give you a gift," James responded, shaking his fist.
"Oh knock it off," Megan said, "Just do it right!"
"Well you do it then if you're so smart," James said, "Go on, do it!"
Megan grinned, "With pleasure," she smirked. "Sirius, take it away if you please."
Sirius grinned back, "I would be delighted," he said, picking up a cage which contained a stuffed parrot. "Do you want to change the first few lines...?"
"Nah, just keep it the way it is for now," Megan replied.
"Quite stalling and go!" James yelled in frustration.
"Alright, alright, don't get your knickers in a twist," Sirius said. He walked over to Megan, who had moved behind the desk they were using as a counter. "Hello, I wish to register a complaint! Hello? Miss?" he said with an over the top Irish accent which made all the girls laugh.
Megan turned. "What do you mean miss?" she said with raised eyebrows.
Sirius looked distinctly ruffled. "Oh, I'm sorry, I have a cold," he said. "I wish to make a complaint!"
"Sorry, we're closing for lunch," Megan said, she turned as if to leave.
Sirius shrugged off Megan's words and continued. "Never mind that my lad, I wish to make a complaint about this parrot which I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique!" he said.
Megan peered into the cage, "Ah yes, the Norwegian Blue. What's wrong with it?" she asked.
"I'll tell you what's wrong with it," Sirius said. "It's dead, that's what's wrong with it."
Lily couldn't help laughing. It was the silliest line and the way Sirius said it just made it even funnier. James on the other had did not look very thrilled at the positive reaction Sirius and Megan were generating from their audience.
"No, no, no! It's restin', look!" Megan said as she pointed at the bird.
"Look matey," Sirius said, "I know a dead parrot when I see one." He held up the cage and stared at it in a pointed fashion. "And I'm lookin' at one right now."
There were more howls of laughter from the girls.
"No, no sir, he's not dead. He's restin'!" Megan said.
"Restin'?" Sirius said in a disbelieving voice.
"Yeah, restin'!" Megan said, as she noddded her head vigorously. "Remarkable bird the Norwegian blue, beautiful plummage ain't it?"
"The plummage don't enter into it!" Sirius said angrily, "It's stone dead!"
"No, no, no! It's just restin'!"
"All right then, if it's restin' I'll wake it up," Sirius said as he hoisted the cage up again so that it was directly in front of his face. "Hello Polly!" he shouted, making all the girls laugh again. "I've got a nice cuttlefish for you when you wake up, Polly Parrot!"
Megan hit the cage, "There! It moved!" she said triumphantly.
"No he didn't!" Sirius said, "That was you hittin' the cage!"
"I did not!"
"Yes you did!" Sirius said. He took the parrot out of the cage and began shouting in it's ear. "Hello Polly Parrot!" he shouted. He then began hitting the bird against the table. "Oh wakey wakey!"
Lily couldn't stop laughing as the parrot repeatedly hit the table with a loud bang.
Sirius then proceeded to toss the parrot into the air and it flew over his shoulder and landed with a thud behind him. He turned and looked back at Megan. "Now that's what I call a dead parrot!" he said.
Lily was laughing so hard she felt as though she would explode. She'd known Sirius was funny but this was incredible! The boy was a natural comedian!
Megan stared at the bird for a moment then turned back to Sirius. "No, no, no! Now it's stunned!" she said.
"Stunned?" Sirius said incredulously with raised eyebrows-an expression that made Lily laugh again. He narrowed his eyes, "Look my lad, I've had just about enough of this!" he said. "This parrot is most definitely deceased. And when I bought it not half an hour ago, you assured me that its lack of movement was due to it being tired and shagged out after a long squawk."
Megan looked at the bird again. There was a awkward silence then, "It's probably pining for the fiords!" she said.
"Pining for the fiords?" Sirius said, his ridiculous accent making it sound even more laughable. "What kind of talk is this? Look, why did it fall flat on its back the moment I got it home then?"
"The Norwegian Blue prefers kipping on it's back," Megan said matter of factly. "Beautiful bird eh? Lovely plummage!"
"Now look here," Sirius said as waved his finger at Megan, "I took the liberty of exaiming that parrot when I got home and discovered that the only reason it had been sitting on its perch in the first place was that it had been nailed there."
Lily laughed, Sirius was definitely getting into it.
There was a pause and then, "Well of course it was nailed there!" Megan said. "If I hadn't nailed it there it would've muscled up to them bars, pecked them apart and voom!" She made a zooming motion with her hand to emphasize her point.
"Voom?" Sirius said looking extremely sceptical. Megan nodded vigorously and Sirius continued, "Look matey," he said as he retrieved the parrot and threw it on the table, "This parrot wouldn't voom if you put four thousand volts through it! It's bleeding demised!"
"No no no! It's pinning!"
"It's not pining!" Sirius yelled. "It's passed on! This parrot is no more! It has ceased top be! It's expired and gone to meet its maker! This is a late parrot! It's a stiff! Bereft of life, it rest in peace! If you hadn't nailed it to its perch it'd be pushing up daisies! It's rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible! That is an ex-parrot!"
There was another long pause and then, "Well I guess I'd better replace it then," Megan said as she turned to look behind her.
"I should think so!" Sirius said. He then turned to his audience, "If you want to get anything done in this country you've got to complain until you're blue in the face."
Megan turned to face Sirius again, "Sorry guv, we're right out of parrots," she said.
"I see, I see, I get the picture," Sirius said as he rolled his eyes.
Megan looked around, "I've got a slug," she said.
"Does it talk?"
"Not really, no."
"Well that's scarcely a bloody replacement then is it?!" Sirius shouted.
"No, I guess not."
There was a long pause then...
"Do you, do you want to come back to my place?" Megan asked.
"Sure, alright then," Sirius said, and the two turned and walked out the door.
Their audience applauded and shouted words of praise and the two re-entered the room. James, however, did not look too thrilled.
"It wasn't that good," he said, but the others ignored him.
"How come you know all that?" asked Lily.
"I have teenaged siblings and I live in a muggle neighbourhood so it's pretty much a given," Megan explained. "Especially since Zack's obsessed with Monty Python. He, Erik and Dan are doing 'Bulbous Bouffant' for the talent show."
"A couple of people are doing 'The Argument Skecth' too," Sirius said.
"And 'The Cheese Shop Sketch," Megan added, "Plus other people are doing 'The Spam Sketch'."
"Wow," said Karen, "That's a lot of Monty Python."
"But it's funny," Sirius said, "So it makes sense. Otherwise it'd just be a bunch of singing and dancing."
"Isn't Katie going to be mad that you're late?" Julie asked Megan.
Megan shrugged, "Probably but I'll just say I was in th library," she said.
"Oh really?" came a voice from the doorway. Everyone turned to see Katie standing there, hands on her hips and looking furious. "Practice was supposed to start 15 minutes ago," she said.
"I was helping James and Sirius," Megan explained.
"I don't care, you should've been at practice now march! We have a lot of work to do," Katie said.
"Fine," Megan said, "I'll see you guys later." She waved good-bye and disappeared down the corridor.
"Do you want to run through it again?" Sirius asked James.
"No," James said flatly, he was already gathering his things.
"Oh, alright then," Sirius said. "You girls going up to the common room?"
The girls nodded.
"Guess we'll be your escort then," Sirius said, "Come on Jamesie-the lovely ladies need us men to protect them."
Lily laughed, Sirius was so funny and had an impish little grin that made him look friendly but James still looked sour. Lily didn't understand what his problem was, she knew Megan could be a bit pushy and demanding sometimes but he'd been the one to say she should do it.
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The week passed in a blur. As Friday drew closer Lily began feeling more and more nervous. They had dress rehersal with everyone else on Thursday but they weren't allowed to watch the other acts and had to wait outside in another room to be called in.
"Some green room," Megan commented during the rehersal, "It's not even green!"
"It's not supposed to be," James said.
"I know that," Megan said, "I was kidding!"
"Sure you were," James said.
Lily noticed James still seemed mad at Megan, and to some extent Sirius. Lily just couldn't understand why he was mad at his two friends, it didn't make any sense, it was almost as if he was jealous. It couldn't be denied, Megan and Sirius definitely worked well together-in fact they were already planning something they could do at the next talent show.
Rehersal went without a hitch and the students were allowed to go back up to their dorms before dinner. Lily was beginning to feel as though she had butterflies in her stomach-even though the show was still over 24 hours away. She couldn't help it, she was nervous and worried about making a fool of herself. And she wasn't the only one. Carol was already quite jumpy, Karen was snapping at everyone who said anything, Julie and Erin were even quietter than usual, Brittany sat drumming her fingers as if she was playing the piano and Kristin was very giggly. The only one who seemed completely unconcerned was Megan. Although Lily did notice Megan was more talkative than usual and seemed rather hyper. Megan and Sirius were bouncing of the walls that night-literally.
"Get down from there!" Alex yelled at the two, who were currently hanging upside down from the ceiling with the help of a few choice spells.
"But it's fun!" Megan argued.
"Yeah!" Sirius agreed.
"I don't care how fun it is get down!" Alex shouted.
"Mom let's me do it at home all the time," Megan argued.
"But this isn't home this is school and school has different rules!" Alex replied.
"But..."
Alex pulled out his wand, "I'm warning you Megan," he said, "Get down now!"
"Fine," Megan said and she jumped down.
"You too Sirius," Alex said.
"Alright, alright," Sirius said as he also jumped down.
Alex looked at his watch, "Actually, I think all of you should go to bed," he said as he pointed at the younger students.
There was an loud outburst protests and complaints from the younger students as Alex and the prefects began herding them upstairs.
"This is an outrage!" Sirius yelled.
"Discrimination based on age!" shouted Megan.
Lily noticed that the two were immediately seperated and sent to their own dorms. The first year girls marched up to their dorms, got ready for bed and crawled into bed but they were all much too nervous and excited to sleep. The next day would soon be upon them and they would have to sing for everyone in the entire school plus all the family members who would be coming to watch.
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The morning of the Talent Show everyone awoke to discover Hogwarts was covered in a blanket of fresh white snow. Lily and Megan were all for having a snowball fight but unfortunately they had to go to class-not that any of the teachers would be stupid enough to try and teach something new the day before Christmas holidays. In Transfiguration Professor McGonagall handed out their homework for the holidays and told them they could sit at their desks and talk for the rest of the class provided there was no running around. In Herbology the class potted poinsettias that would be placed on display in the Great Hall for the Talent Show that night. Lily was working with Megan across from Cass, Chris, Colin Ho (whom Lily had met only briefly) and Jeff from Hufflepuff.
"I heard you girls are in the talent show tonight," Chris said.
"Yeah, we are," Megan said.
"What are you doing?" asked Jeff.
"We're singing 'Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer'," replied Lily.
Colin laughed, "I know that song," he said, "It's really funny."
"Are you nervous about tonight?" asked Cass.
"Yes!" Lily said.
"Not really," Megan said.
"How can you not be nervous?" asked Chris.
"You're even in two things!" Lily said.
Megan shrugged, "So? I'm nervous but I've been onstage before so it's not that big of a deal."
"You are one weird kid," commented Jeff.
"Oh, I know," said Megan.
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That night after dinner, the girls hurriedly got dressed and headed downstairs to the Great Hall. All of their parents had come to watch.
"Mum! Dad!" Lily said when she spied her parents talking with Mr. and Mrs. Johnston.
"Hi Sweetie!" her mother said as she gave her a hug.
"How's my girl?" said Mr. Evans as he ruffled Lily's hair.
"Good!" Lily said.
"All set for tonight?" asked her mother.
"Uh huh," Lily said with a nod, "We've been practicing really hard."
"That's what you said in your letter," said Mr. Evans.
"Where's Petunia?" Lily asked, she had only just noticed her sister was absent.
Her parents looked at each other then back at Lily.
"She didn't want to come," Mrs. Evans said slowly.
"Oh," Lily said, "I'm not surprised."
"And why's that?" he father asked.
"Because of how she acted when I got my letter from Hogwarts," said Lily.
Her mother sighed, "I don't know what's gotten into her lately," she said, "She's been very distant."
"It's because she's got all those new friends, mum," Lily said. "Don't worry about it, she'll come around. But I should go sit with everyone else, the show's going to start in like 15 minutes!"
"OK honey," said Mrs. Evans, "Break a leg!"
"Thanks!" Lily said before she went in search of her friends.
The girls checked in with a seventh year Ravenclaw who was the stage manager and then took their seats. Lily opened her program and read:
~Talent Show~
Masters of Ceremonies: Alex Johnston and Chloe Lemieux
"Fury of the Night" from Riverdance as performed by Jennifer Anderson
"L-O-V-E" by Frank Sinatra, as performed by William Turner
"Castle On A Cloud" from Les Miserables, vocals by Bellatrix Black with piano by Jennifer Strong
"On My Own" from Les Miserables, as performed by Sarah Ross
"Dead Parrot" from Monty Python's Flying Circus, as performed by Sirius Black and James Potter
"The Lady Is A Tramp" by Rodgers & Hart, as performed by Gilderoy Lockhart
Sonata in A, Second movement by Carl Philip Emmanuel Bach, as performed by Brittany Groeneweg
"White Christmas" as performed by David Bennett, Lauren Daniels, Alice Griffin and Frank Longbottom
"Favourite Things" from The Sound of Music as performed by Kayla Jones
"Bulbous Bouffant" from Monty Python's Flying Circus, as performed by Dan Davidson, Erik Ferguson and Zack Johnston
"Over the Rainbow" from The Wizard of Oz as performed by Rebecca Taylor
"Tomorrow" from Annie as performed by Joanna Wilcox
"Part of Your World" from The Little Mermaid as performed by Cynthia Nixon
"Cathy's Clown" by the Everly Brothers, as performed by Dean Edwards (drums), Dan Miller (piano), Ryan Seacrest (vocals & guitar), George Windsor (bass) and Elijah Woods (vocals & guitar)
"Who's On First?" by Abbot & Costello, as performed by Tyler O'Connell and Kevin Sinclair
~Intermission~
"Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy" from The Nutcracker as performed by Claire Dawkins
"Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer", vocals by Kristin Ambacher, Erin Bowering, Karen Carranza, Lily Evans, Megan Johnston, Carol Ngai and Julie Perna with piano by Brittany Groeneweg
"Baby Love" by the Supremes, as performed by Karen Brown, Gladys Nightingale and Rosemary Richardson
"You're So Vain" by Carly Simon, as performed by Lauren Daniels
"The Argument Sketch" from Monty Python's Flying Circus, as performed by Orlando Bloom, Josh Hartnett, Brendan Scott and Jacob Sinclair
"Sixteen Going on Seventeen" from The Sound of Music, as performed by Elizabeth Goeller and Alex Johnston
Prelude in B Minor by Frederic Chopin, as performed by Chelsea Adams
"Put On A Happy Face" from Bye Bye Birdie, as performed by Albert Peterson, featuring Colleen Miller and Rebecca Plum as "The Sad Girls"
"Silent Night", vocals by Melissa Fairbanks, Lisa Gibbons and Diane La Belle and piano by Georgina Nicholson
"The Cheese Shop Sketch" from Monty Python's Flying Circus, as performed by Zack Bennett and Bradley Scott
"Getting To Know You" from The King & I, as performed by Julie Andrews
"Greased Lightning" from Grease, as performed by Louis Andrews, Kyle Grant, Robert MacMillian, Liam Newton, Harry Osbourn, Charles Schultz, Mitchell Standford, William Turner, Boris Westman
"Say A Little Prayer For You" by Aretha Franklin, as performed by Florence Henderson, Michelle Miller, Gloria Morningstar and Anne Murry
"The Spam Sketch" from Monty Python's Flying Circus, as performed by Thomas Anderson, Joseph Bennett, Cassandra Daniels, Claire Felton, Patrick Thomas, Matthew Wilkinson and James Woodsworth
"Further On Up the Road" by Eric Clapton, as performed by Alex (vocals), Katie (bass), Megan (guitar) and Zack Johnston (drums)
"Wow," she commented, "There's so much!"
"I know!" said Karen, "This is going to be so awesome!"
The lights dimmed and Alex walked out onstage with Chloe Lemieux, the Head girl who was in Ravenclaw.
"Welcome to the Hogwarts Talent Show!" Chloe said, "I'm Chloe Lemieux."
"And I'm Alex Johnston," said Alex, "And we'll be you hosts this evening."
"Tonight we have many many acts from various students ranging in age from the youngest to the oldest," Chloe said.
"That's right," said Alex, "Our first act is Jennifer Anderson perfomring "Fury of the Night" from Riverdance. So sit back, relax and enjoy the show!"
The show moved quickly. Lily was impressed once again by Sirius' comedic talent when he and James took the stage for they're scene. James was quite funny but Sirius defiently stole the show. Brittany's piano solo was beautiful and Lily was very impressed. There was a lot of singing but everyone who performed was amazing. Zack and his friends who did "Bulbous Bouffant"-another Monty Python skit, were hysterically funny and like James and Sirius had the audience rolling in the isles laughing. When intermission came, the girls got up and went backstage, they would be right after Claire Dawkins who was doing a ballet solo.
It seemed to Lily that the intermission did not last fifthteen minutes because the next thing she knew, the lights had once again dimmed and she was standing backstage watching Claire dance. She suddenly felt rather quesy. Was it normal to feel this nervous? All too soon Claire had finished and walked backstage. Lily and the other girls hurried onstage behind the curtains as the backstage crew wheeled out the piano for Brittany. Lily could hear Chole and Alex talking but didn't know what they were saying. She heard applause and suddenly the curtain opened. She was momentairly blinded by the lights but quickly recovered when she heard Brittany start playing. Together, the girls sang:
"Grandma got run over by a reindeer
Walking home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.
She'd been drinkin' too much egg nog,
And we'd begged her not to go.
But she'd left her medication,
So she stumbled out the door into the snow.
When they found her Christmas mornin',
At the scene of the attack.
There were hoof prints on her forehead,
And incriminatin' Claus marks on her back.
Grandma go run over by a reindeer,
Walkin' home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.
Now were all so proud of Grandpa,
He's been takin' this so well.
See him in there watchin' football,
Drinkin' beer and playin' cards with cousin Belle.
It's not Christmas without Grandma.
All the family's dressed in black.
And we just can't help but wonder:
Should we open up her gifts or send them back?
Grandma got run over by a reindeer,
Walkin' home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.
Now the goose is on the table
And the pudding made of pig.
And a blue and silver candle,
That would just have matched the hair in Grandma's wig.
I've warned all my friends and neighbours.
Better watch out for yourselves."
They should never give a license,
To a man who drives a sleigh and plays with elves.
Grandma got run over by a reindeer,
Walkin' home from our house, Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe."
There was a burst of applause and Lily could see all their parents standing up in the audience giving them a standing ovation. She could help grinning, they'd actually sounded really good! The curtain closed and the girls all hugged each other as they jumped up and down chanting, "We did it! We did it!" until the crew told them they had to move. They ran back to their seats to watch the rest of the show. Right before the second last act, another Monty Python skit, Megan got up to go backstage because she and her siblings were the closing act of the evening.
"Well," Chloe said as she walked out onstage after the cast of "The Spam Sketch" had vacated the stage. "We have one final act this evening. My co- host has once again left me on my own because he and his siblings, Katie, Megan and Zack are going to perform "Further On Up the Road" by Eric Clapton. So take it away guys!"
The curtains opened to reveal the four Johnstons. Katie was on bass, Zack drums, Alex was doing vocals and Megan was on guitar. They launched into the song and soon had the audience getting into it. Well, the audience members who weren't Slytherins anyway.
As Lily watched, she noticed that Megan had a look of extreme concentration on her face but that at the same time she was grinning. Lily felt the same way, the talent show had most definitely been a roaring success.
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OK! That's it for now! Once again I apologize for the wait! I'll try and get chapter 25 up soon! Please review!
~*~MeGaN~*~