Sydney emerged from the panicked building clutching Tyler for dear life. Halfway down the stairs, the impact of what had just happened hit her full force and it was all she could do not to collapse and give up completely. That would have been the simple thing to do, but when had her life ever been simple?
Vaughn and Lauren were waiting for her outside the hotel, pretending to just be a few concerned passer-bys. When they caught sight Sydney, they dropped their pretenses and came running.
"Daddy!" Tyler screamed, holding his arms out and beginning to cry.
Vaughn took his son out of Sydney's arms. After he saw the blank look on Sydney's face, Tyler found himself being handed over to his mother. Vaughn told Lauren he would be right back as Sydney felt him grab her by the arm and begin to lead her away from the site.
"We can't leave," she said, looking up at him with blank eyes. "Julian's still in there."
Vaughn didn't let go of her arm and kept forcing her away. That got her to snap out of her haze rather quickly. "What the hell are you doing? I said we have to go back. He's still in there."
"We're not going back, Syd," he replied.
"What do you mean we're not going back? He's in there somewhere."
"He didn't make it, Syd. You need to accept that."
"Don't feed me that bullshit. I don't believe you. I give up my life to help you and you can't afford me a few minutes of time to go back in." She tried to shrug out of his grip, but his hand just tightened. "Just because you were so willing to believe I was dead when the Covenant kidnapped me doesn't mean that I have to be that weak."
"I'll ignore that comment because you're my friend. Now try to think clearly. We can't chance the fact that Agent Conway and Weiss will find out where you went and come take my song again. We can't risk it. We can't risk my son."
"But we can risk that my fiancé might die if we don't go back in. My life is okay to screw with, but yours is off limits? You are such a hypocrite! I'm not leaving. Not without him." Sydney pulled her free arm back and punched Vaughn with all her might. His grip loosened a little, but he still managed to hang on to her.
"He's dead, Syd!" Vaughn yelled as he wiped the blood off his lip with his free hand. "And we're leaving."
Sydney felt herself being scooped up and thrown over his shoulder. She knew that she should fight, kick and bite and scream, but the effort of moving was getting too much for her. Her body was shutting itself down, and she couldn't do anything to get it to stop.
Vaughn carried her back to the CIA van and deposited her in the seat. She didn't even look up at him as he buckled her in. "You'll thank me for this one day."
"That would mean I was talking to you," she whispered, continuing to look out the window.
Lauren opened the passenger's side door and sat down in the van. "Are we leaving?" she asked hesitantly after a minute of silence.
"There's nothing we can do," Vaughn said.
"There's nothing he wants to do," Sydney added. "He doesn't seem to care about what anyone wants except himself. Selfish pig."
"Sark couldn't have made it out of that building without Weiss and his men realizing it. Even if we went back in, chances are he would already be in Covenant custody."
Sydney didn't answer.
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
She didn't speak another word to either Lauren or Vaughn the whole drive to the airport, the whole flight home, and the whole drive back to CIA headquarters. Vaughn took Sydney's arm and led her to Jack's office where he deposited in a seat and went looking for him.
When the door to the office opened again and she heard the familiar footsteps of her father entering the room, she finally spoke. "Dad."
"I know, Sydney," Jack said as he pulled her into his arms. "Vaughn told me what happened."
"He probably didn't tell you that we could have saved him. I know we could have saved him." Sydney looked up at her father with tears in her eyes. "There were so many times that I risked SD-6 finding out I was a double agent to make sure that Vaughn made it out of missions alive. I risked my life so many times for him. And he wouldn't let me do that same for the man I love. I wasn't asking him and Lauren to go in with me. I just wanted to go back myself."
"He didn't understand. That boy was never on the same level as you." Jack pulled back from his daughter. "Are you doing to be all right by yourself for a moment? I need to talk to a few of my colleagues, but then I'm going to take you back to Manhattan personally."
She nodded. With that approval, Jack kissed her lightly on the top of the head and left his office.
Anyone who saw him walking down the corridor could tell that he was in one of his moods. The kind that said if you even look at me the wrong way, let alone talk to me, you'll be dead within seconds. The people around the office liked to refer to it as the "Bristow Death Stare".
Jack death stared his way all the way across the office to where Lauren and Vaughn were standing with their son and Marshall. "Excuse me. Agent Vaughn, may I have a word with you in private?"
Vaughn nodded as his face began to display signs of worry. His previous conversations with Jack Bristow never seemed to turn out to his liking. With a few parting looks at his family, he followed Jack down a corridor into an off-the-way corner.
Jack turned around and, instead of beginning a conversation, grabbed Vaughn by the throat. Vaughn found himself pinned up against the wall rather tightly. "You destroyed my daughter's life again today, Agent Vaughn. She was finally happy again and you pulled her back into this life. You pulled her and the man she loves. What made you think that your life and happiness was more important than hers?"
Vaughn felt Jack's grip on his throat loosen and his feet touched back down onto the ground. "I don't think my life was more important than hers."
"Then why did you not let her go back into that building? Why?"
"My son needed to be returned to safety. We didn't have time to go back in."
"You didn't have time to go back in. She did. You could have left her by herself in Miami. Sydney and Julian are no longer agents. Neither one of them is a criminal. If she had found him, they could have just returned to their life in Manhattan."
"I didn't think of that," Vaughn admitted as he rubbed his face.
"Obviously you didn't think at all. And because of that, my daughter has to once again find a way to pick up the pieces of her life." Jack turned on heel and left Vaughn alone in the corner with his thoughts.
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
The one person Sydney had known for years that she could count on was her father. And he didn't let her down. When he said he had to speak with some of his colleagues before leaving, she knew he was going to confront Vaughn. And she honestly didn't care.
In fact, she was happy. Vaughn deserved to have his ass handed to him on a platter. She knew he had made a mistake. A mistake that she was going to have to live with for probably the rest of her life.
Her father returned rather quickly which gave her a smug feeling inside. "He must have been really harsh with Vaughn," she thought.
Jack made sure that their return to New York was discrete. He promised Marshall and Dixon that he would get Sydney to talk with them sometime in the coming weeks, but that she wasn't ready to talk to anyone right now. A CIA-chartered plane flew them right into Newark, and Jack managed to get them to Park Avenue in record time.
After stepping out of the taxi, Jack turned to his daughter. "This is going to hurt you a lot, Sydney. Returning here without Sark. But you're going to have to push your way through it."
Sydney nodded and stepped through the front door, waving half-heartedly to William the doorman. She managed to hold her tears in all the way across the lobby until she had entered the elevator. When the doors clicked shut, she let them finally fall.
Jack put his arm protectively around his sobbing daughter as he pressed the button for the penthouse. He had raised her to be strong, but life had dealt her a bad hand. If there was anything he could have done to change that, he would have.
The elevator doors opened, and he ushered her over to the couch. "I'm going to stay with you through the night."
Sydney nodded and lay back on the couch. She watched her father glance around the room, taking everything in. "It's a nice place, isn't it?"
"It's very beautiful. I'm sorry I couldn't find time away from work before to see it."
"Sark found it for us." This started a new wave of tears that Sydney managed to sniffle back rather quickly. "I'm sorry. I'll get a hold of myself, I promise."
"Let yourself cry, Sydney. Sometimes, crying is the best remedy for pain."
"Wow, Dad. That was pretty profound."
Jack nodded and took a seat at the other end of the couch. "You'll get through this. I know you will. Now get some sleep. You're exhausted."
Sydney nodded and was about to let herself fall asleep when she felt the stress of the situation come barreling down on her. She made a dash for the bathroom just in time to empty the contents of her stomach into the toilet.
The presence of her father standing in the doorway was felt by her before she actually saw him. "I'm all right," she said, still holding on tight to the rim.
"This is the second time you've thrown up in my presence in the past week."
"What are you implying?" Sydney asked as she stood up and reached for some mouth wash. "I swear, it's just the stress. You know that I always used to throw up right before really high intensity missions with SD-6. I guess the two years off let my nerves relax from their hardened states."
Jack helped his daughter walk back out of the bathroom and into her bedroom. She laid down on the bed without question. "Sleep will help with the anxiety."
She barely had time to nod before she found herself following his suggestion and going to sleep. In the back of her head, there was a tiny voice wishing that maybe she wouldn't wake up. Then the pain would be gone for good.
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
Jack ended up staying with her for the next two weeks. She had very few emotional breakdowns, but there were times where she would sit and stare out the window or at an object for hours without realizing she was doing it. He had chosen to stay a little longer because of this peculiar behavior. When it seemed that she was acting as normal as anyone could expect, he told her he was going to have to leave.
"I've been expecting this all week," she said with a weak smile as she stepped into his arms. "Thank you for staying so long. I know that you probably had things to do back at the CIA which you put off to stay with me. I appreciate it."
"You'll always be my top priority, Sydney. If you need me, I will drop everything to help you. I never want you to forget that." Jack leaned down and kissed her lightly. "Now I have to be going. I let the mail you've been receiving this past two weeks pile up on the kitchen table. Try going through it. That should give you something to do for the next hour or so."
"Thanks, Dad." Sydney walked him to the elevator doors and waved as they shut on him.
She decided to follow his suggestion and sort through the mail. There would probably be a few things addressed to Julian, but she would have to learn sometime how to get through the pain. What had happened in Miami wasn't a dream, and she had to stop trying to treat it as if it was.
The kitchen looked pretty sparse, compared to what it normally looked like. Sydney and her father had been surviving on takeout alone for the past two weeks. There were a few containers in the fridge when she opened it, but that was about the only food around.
Sighing, she grabbed a container of cold lo mein noodles and sat down at the kitchen table. The first few envelopes were harmless bills that she would have to pay if she wanted electricity and a place to stay. She shoved them to the side vowing to return to them when the sorting was done.
The next letter was from one of her main designers at Irina. It seems that he wasn't happy with her lack of response for the past few days and intended to take his employees and walk. "Great," she mumbled. She set that letter to the side and vowed to call her assistant to let her know the situation.
The next letter was for only Sark. It was from one of his business contacts and was handwritten. Sydney began to read it and was shocked to what it said. The woman, Lindsay Rowan, was propositioning Sark with a sexual affair. It seems that she had had her eye on him for a few months and decided that he must not be happy with his girlfriend.
That was as far through the letter as Sydney got before her temper took over and she ripped it to shreds. She slid her chair back, deciding to take a break from the mail opening, and reached for her cell phone which was sitting on the counter.
Dialing a number she had memorized, she waited for the customary two rings before talking. "It's me, Mom. Pick up."
She only had to wait a few seconds before her mother's voice came through on the other half of the line. "Sydney? How are you holding up?"
"I'm doing all right. Dad left today. He has me opening up all the mail from the past two weeks. There was a letter from a woman throwing herself at Sark."
"Interesting," Irina said with a chuckle. "The woman must have been a moron to think she could compete with you."
"Could you come over?" Sydney asked, cutting to the chase.
"Of course."
Hearing her mother hang up, she clicked end and then promptly called down to the front desk to let them know she expected a guest and that it was all right to let the elevator come up to her floor.
When she was done, Sydney threw her phone onto the pile of opened mail and began to sort through the still unopened ones. Becoming engrossed in the task, she tried to let all her thoughts and feelings go. She silently thanked her father for thinking up such a mindless task for her to do to take up time.
Before she realized it, the elevator doors were opening as a bing erupted through the apartment signaling her mother's arrival. Sydney stood up from the kitchen table and stretched her legs. Walking into the living room, she smiled as she saw her mother looking around.
"I like the new chair," Irina said with a smile. Throwing her purse down on the front table, she held her hand out.
Sydney walked over and grabbed Irina's outstretched hand. "What is that?" she asked, pointing to the package in her mother's other hand.
"This was down at the front desk." Irina handed the package over to her. "Someone must have left it for you. William recognized me when I came in and instructed the security guard to give me the package. Says it would save him a trip."
"I love William, but he's lazy." Sydney put the package down on one of the tables.
"How are you really doing?" Irina asked.
"Not so well. This is what I was afraid of when I felt myself first falling in love with Sark. The men I love always seem to get hurt because of me."
"But you told me that you thought this time it was different."
"Obviously, it wasn't," Sydney said with a forced laugh. "He's dead, isn't he?"
"Your father told me that they found a body in the rubble on the fifteen floor but they couldn't confirm the identity. Has something changed?"
"No, they still don't know who that is. But I just know that it's him with my luck. I can't seem to keep a boyfriend for more than two years, Mom. It's like a rule."
"You're being harsh on yourself." Irina sighed and sat down on the couch next to her daughter. "Have you spoken to Michael Vaughn since you came back?"
"No. He keeps calling and trying to apologize. But I can't talk to him right now."
"That's perfectly reasonable. He made a huge error that has caused you a lot of pain. It almost makes me want to do the same thing to him that I did to his father."
"But you've been reformed. No more killing," Sydney said, smiling at her mother.
"Not unless it's necessary," Irina replied with a smirk. "Now let's open that package. It looks important."
"Not yet," Sydney said, waving it off. "I have something I wanted to ask you."
"You can ask me anything. My life is an open book to you now."
"A few months ago, you told me that I was about to enter the biggest fight of my lifetime."
"True."
"What did you mean by that?"
"Honestly, I don't know, Sydney. There were just a few documents I came across that said the Covenant was fortifying their resources and building up for some big operation. I had no idea what it was."
"You don't think that this operation was the kidnapping of Tyler Vaughn," she stated more than asked.
"No. The operation I saw the Covenant preparing for was much bigger than that. I think the kidnapping was all a personal vendetta of Eric Weiss. One that didn't go so successful for him."
Sydney reached over and grabbed the envelope her mother had brought her. "I'm not sure that Tyler Vaughn was his target. The operation seemed a little too sloppy and easy to unravel if it was so straightforward."
"I agree with you, Sydney." Irina looked at her watch. "I hate to do this to you because I know how much you need me here. But I have a German diplomat waiting to meet with me in the Village."
"If the CIA only knew that you were trying to resurrect your spy organization, they would lock you right back up in that prison cell."
"No one's going to tell them. And besides, this time it's going to be different. The issues with Rambaldi took up my whole life, to the point of my almost killing you and your father. I'm not going to let that happen again." Irina looked at her daughter intently. "But we're both in agreement that the CIA just isn't getting the job done. They need an organization to work in tandem with. An organization that isn't afraid to get its hands dirty."
"I can't believe you're trying to set up an SD-6 that is actually a covert branch of the CIA."
"I always loved black ops." Irina winked at Sydney and stopped up. "Call me if you need me."
When her mother had left the penthouse, she used her finger to rip open the envelope and pulled out a VHS tape. "What is that?" she wondered. She looked down at the envelope again and muttered, "Must have been hand delivered. No stamps. No return address"
Sighing, Sydney stood up and pushed it into the VCR. She grabbed the remote as she sat back down on the couch and pushed play. She gasped.
Weiss was sitting on a stool in front of the camera.
"Hey, Syd!" he said jollily. "I'd ask you how you're doing, but I know the answer is not so good considering the man of your dreams is currently not around. I couldn't have planned that whole scenario better if I had tried."
"What the hell does he want?" Sydney asked herself.
"I apologize if this feels like I'm rubbing the pain in. But, I kind of am."
"What happened to you, Eric?" she wondered out loud. "When did you become such a monster?"
Stephanie walked on screen. "We just thought you might want to know that Sark was alive when you ran off with your old boyfriend and his new family. You could have probably saved him if you had been willing to try." Sydney started at the TV in shock. "One of our agents located him in the rubble, and he was in our custody for a little while. We thought it might torture you a little knowing he could have been rescued if you had only tried, if you only had the resources to find him."
"And a little torture never hurt anybody," Weiss added. "The ironic thing is you might have had the resources if you hadn't stopped speaking to Vaughn. If he hadn't had made such a horrible decision back in Miami. I didn't see that one coming, I can tell you that! But I digress. I just wanted to let you know that Sark lost his usefulness rather quickly and got quite annoying, too. That boy has a mouth on him! Woo boy!"
Stephanie looked straight into the camera. "We had him killed this morning. Sorry!"
Sydney could feel the tears trickle down her cheeks as the impact of their words hit home. Sark was gone for good.
"Don't worry, Bristow," Stephanie said with a chuckle. "You'll be seeing us again real soon. And maybe we'll let you live long enough to get at least a little bit of revenge."
Sydney sat on the couch in silence staring at the black screen. She knew the purpose of that video was to make her feel as if the situation was hopeless. The ironic thing was the video didn't leave her feeling that way. Instead, it made her only that much more determined to figure out what had really happened in Miami.
She couldn't trust Weiss now that he had switched over to the other side. Which was why she really believed that he was lying when he said Sark was dead. "I mean, wouldn't I feel it inside somewhere if he wasn't here anymore? I have to believe I would," she said, partially trying to convince herself.
A thought suddenly occurred to her. "I'm thinking that Irina's prophecy was right," she reasoned out loud as she stood up and started pacing. "But not in the way either one of us thought. She said I was going to be entering into the fight of my life. Maybe it's not a fight for my life… maybe it's a fight to get the life I love back. Or more specifically to get the love of my life back."
"Fight of my life, huh?" Sydney looked back at the still pitch black TV. "Well if that's the case, I think I'm knee deep in it. If the Covenant thinks I'm just going to sit back and do nothing about the fact that they have Sark, they're completely wrong. I have worked too hard and too long to have a life with him to let it all just go down the drain at the first sign of hardship."
Thinking about what she said, she laughed. "That's not exactly true. It isn't our first hurdle to get over, and it won't be our last. But he wouldn't give up on me when I was shot. I'm not going to give up on him just because some pesky evil agency says that they killed him."
Suddenly, she realized she was acting like a crazy person, pacing back and forth while talking to herself. She went in the kitchen to grab her cell phone and begin making calls. There were quite a few people out there she knew who owed her favors.
And it was the perfect time to cash in.
Vaughn and Lauren were waiting for her outside the hotel, pretending to just be a few concerned passer-bys. When they caught sight Sydney, they dropped their pretenses and came running.
"Daddy!" Tyler screamed, holding his arms out and beginning to cry.
Vaughn took his son out of Sydney's arms. After he saw the blank look on Sydney's face, Tyler found himself being handed over to his mother. Vaughn told Lauren he would be right back as Sydney felt him grab her by the arm and begin to lead her away from the site.
"We can't leave," she said, looking up at him with blank eyes. "Julian's still in there."
Vaughn didn't let go of her arm and kept forcing her away. That got her to snap out of her haze rather quickly. "What the hell are you doing? I said we have to go back. He's still in there."
"We're not going back, Syd," he replied.
"What do you mean we're not going back? He's in there somewhere."
"He didn't make it, Syd. You need to accept that."
"Don't feed me that bullshit. I don't believe you. I give up my life to help you and you can't afford me a few minutes of time to go back in." She tried to shrug out of his grip, but his hand just tightened. "Just because you were so willing to believe I was dead when the Covenant kidnapped me doesn't mean that I have to be that weak."
"I'll ignore that comment because you're my friend. Now try to think clearly. We can't chance the fact that Agent Conway and Weiss will find out where you went and come take my song again. We can't risk it. We can't risk my son."
"But we can risk that my fiancé might die if we don't go back in. My life is okay to screw with, but yours is off limits? You are such a hypocrite! I'm not leaving. Not without him." Sydney pulled her free arm back and punched Vaughn with all her might. His grip loosened a little, but he still managed to hang on to her.
"He's dead, Syd!" Vaughn yelled as he wiped the blood off his lip with his free hand. "And we're leaving."
Sydney felt herself being scooped up and thrown over his shoulder. She knew that she should fight, kick and bite and scream, but the effort of moving was getting too much for her. Her body was shutting itself down, and she couldn't do anything to get it to stop.
Vaughn carried her back to the CIA van and deposited her in the seat. She didn't even look up at him as he buckled her in. "You'll thank me for this one day."
"That would mean I was talking to you," she whispered, continuing to look out the window.
Lauren opened the passenger's side door and sat down in the van. "Are we leaving?" she asked hesitantly after a minute of silence.
"There's nothing we can do," Vaughn said.
"There's nothing he wants to do," Sydney added. "He doesn't seem to care about what anyone wants except himself. Selfish pig."
"Sark couldn't have made it out of that building without Weiss and his men realizing it. Even if we went back in, chances are he would already be in Covenant custody."
Sydney didn't answer.
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
She didn't speak another word to either Lauren or Vaughn the whole drive to the airport, the whole flight home, and the whole drive back to CIA headquarters. Vaughn took Sydney's arm and led her to Jack's office where he deposited in a seat and went looking for him.
When the door to the office opened again and she heard the familiar footsteps of her father entering the room, she finally spoke. "Dad."
"I know, Sydney," Jack said as he pulled her into his arms. "Vaughn told me what happened."
"He probably didn't tell you that we could have saved him. I know we could have saved him." Sydney looked up at her father with tears in her eyes. "There were so many times that I risked SD-6 finding out I was a double agent to make sure that Vaughn made it out of missions alive. I risked my life so many times for him. And he wouldn't let me do that same for the man I love. I wasn't asking him and Lauren to go in with me. I just wanted to go back myself."
"He didn't understand. That boy was never on the same level as you." Jack pulled back from his daughter. "Are you doing to be all right by yourself for a moment? I need to talk to a few of my colleagues, but then I'm going to take you back to Manhattan personally."
She nodded. With that approval, Jack kissed her lightly on the top of the head and left his office.
Anyone who saw him walking down the corridor could tell that he was in one of his moods. The kind that said if you even look at me the wrong way, let alone talk to me, you'll be dead within seconds. The people around the office liked to refer to it as the "Bristow Death Stare".
Jack death stared his way all the way across the office to where Lauren and Vaughn were standing with their son and Marshall. "Excuse me. Agent Vaughn, may I have a word with you in private?"
Vaughn nodded as his face began to display signs of worry. His previous conversations with Jack Bristow never seemed to turn out to his liking. With a few parting looks at his family, he followed Jack down a corridor into an off-the-way corner.
Jack turned around and, instead of beginning a conversation, grabbed Vaughn by the throat. Vaughn found himself pinned up against the wall rather tightly. "You destroyed my daughter's life again today, Agent Vaughn. She was finally happy again and you pulled her back into this life. You pulled her and the man she loves. What made you think that your life and happiness was more important than hers?"
Vaughn felt Jack's grip on his throat loosen and his feet touched back down onto the ground. "I don't think my life was more important than hers."
"Then why did you not let her go back into that building? Why?"
"My son needed to be returned to safety. We didn't have time to go back in."
"You didn't have time to go back in. She did. You could have left her by herself in Miami. Sydney and Julian are no longer agents. Neither one of them is a criminal. If she had found him, they could have just returned to their life in Manhattan."
"I didn't think of that," Vaughn admitted as he rubbed his face.
"Obviously you didn't think at all. And because of that, my daughter has to once again find a way to pick up the pieces of her life." Jack turned on heel and left Vaughn alone in the corner with his thoughts.
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
The one person Sydney had known for years that she could count on was her father. And he didn't let her down. When he said he had to speak with some of his colleagues before leaving, she knew he was going to confront Vaughn. And she honestly didn't care.
In fact, she was happy. Vaughn deserved to have his ass handed to him on a platter. She knew he had made a mistake. A mistake that she was going to have to live with for probably the rest of her life.
Her father returned rather quickly which gave her a smug feeling inside. "He must have been really harsh with Vaughn," she thought.
Jack made sure that their return to New York was discrete. He promised Marshall and Dixon that he would get Sydney to talk with them sometime in the coming weeks, but that she wasn't ready to talk to anyone right now. A CIA-chartered plane flew them right into Newark, and Jack managed to get them to Park Avenue in record time.
After stepping out of the taxi, Jack turned to his daughter. "This is going to hurt you a lot, Sydney. Returning here without Sark. But you're going to have to push your way through it."
Sydney nodded and stepped through the front door, waving half-heartedly to William the doorman. She managed to hold her tears in all the way across the lobby until she had entered the elevator. When the doors clicked shut, she let them finally fall.
Jack put his arm protectively around his sobbing daughter as he pressed the button for the penthouse. He had raised her to be strong, but life had dealt her a bad hand. If there was anything he could have done to change that, he would have.
The elevator doors opened, and he ushered her over to the couch. "I'm going to stay with you through the night."
Sydney nodded and lay back on the couch. She watched her father glance around the room, taking everything in. "It's a nice place, isn't it?"
"It's very beautiful. I'm sorry I couldn't find time away from work before to see it."
"Sark found it for us." This started a new wave of tears that Sydney managed to sniffle back rather quickly. "I'm sorry. I'll get a hold of myself, I promise."
"Let yourself cry, Sydney. Sometimes, crying is the best remedy for pain."
"Wow, Dad. That was pretty profound."
Jack nodded and took a seat at the other end of the couch. "You'll get through this. I know you will. Now get some sleep. You're exhausted."
Sydney nodded and was about to let herself fall asleep when she felt the stress of the situation come barreling down on her. She made a dash for the bathroom just in time to empty the contents of her stomach into the toilet.
The presence of her father standing in the doorway was felt by her before she actually saw him. "I'm all right," she said, still holding on tight to the rim.
"This is the second time you've thrown up in my presence in the past week."
"What are you implying?" Sydney asked as she stood up and reached for some mouth wash. "I swear, it's just the stress. You know that I always used to throw up right before really high intensity missions with SD-6. I guess the two years off let my nerves relax from their hardened states."
Jack helped his daughter walk back out of the bathroom and into her bedroom. She laid down on the bed without question. "Sleep will help with the anxiety."
She barely had time to nod before she found herself following his suggestion and going to sleep. In the back of her head, there was a tiny voice wishing that maybe she wouldn't wake up. Then the pain would be gone for good.
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
Jack ended up staying with her for the next two weeks. She had very few emotional breakdowns, but there were times where she would sit and stare out the window or at an object for hours without realizing she was doing it. He had chosen to stay a little longer because of this peculiar behavior. When it seemed that she was acting as normal as anyone could expect, he told her he was going to have to leave.
"I've been expecting this all week," she said with a weak smile as she stepped into his arms. "Thank you for staying so long. I know that you probably had things to do back at the CIA which you put off to stay with me. I appreciate it."
"You'll always be my top priority, Sydney. If you need me, I will drop everything to help you. I never want you to forget that." Jack leaned down and kissed her lightly. "Now I have to be going. I let the mail you've been receiving this past two weeks pile up on the kitchen table. Try going through it. That should give you something to do for the next hour or so."
"Thanks, Dad." Sydney walked him to the elevator doors and waved as they shut on him.
She decided to follow his suggestion and sort through the mail. There would probably be a few things addressed to Julian, but she would have to learn sometime how to get through the pain. What had happened in Miami wasn't a dream, and she had to stop trying to treat it as if it was.
The kitchen looked pretty sparse, compared to what it normally looked like. Sydney and her father had been surviving on takeout alone for the past two weeks. There were a few containers in the fridge when she opened it, but that was about the only food around.
Sighing, she grabbed a container of cold lo mein noodles and sat down at the kitchen table. The first few envelopes were harmless bills that she would have to pay if she wanted electricity and a place to stay. She shoved them to the side vowing to return to them when the sorting was done.
The next letter was from one of her main designers at Irina. It seems that he wasn't happy with her lack of response for the past few days and intended to take his employees and walk. "Great," she mumbled. She set that letter to the side and vowed to call her assistant to let her know the situation.
The next letter was for only Sark. It was from one of his business contacts and was handwritten. Sydney began to read it and was shocked to what it said. The woman, Lindsay Rowan, was propositioning Sark with a sexual affair. It seems that she had had her eye on him for a few months and decided that he must not be happy with his girlfriend.
That was as far through the letter as Sydney got before her temper took over and she ripped it to shreds. She slid her chair back, deciding to take a break from the mail opening, and reached for her cell phone which was sitting on the counter.
Dialing a number she had memorized, she waited for the customary two rings before talking. "It's me, Mom. Pick up."
She only had to wait a few seconds before her mother's voice came through on the other half of the line. "Sydney? How are you holding up?"
"I'm doing all right. Dad left today. He has me opening up all the mail from the past two weeks. There was a letter from a woman throwing herself at Sark."
"Interesting," Irina said with a chuckle. "The woman must have been a moron to think she could compete with you."
"Could you come over?" Sydney asked, cutting to the chase.
"Of course."
Hearing her mother hang up, she clicked end and then promptly called down to the front desk to let them know she expected a guest and that it was all right to let the elevator come up to her floor.
When she was done, Sydney threw her phone onto the pile of opened mail and began to sort through the still unopened ones. Becoming engrossed in the task, she tried to let all her thoughts and feelings go. She silently thanked her father for thinking up such a mindless task for her to do to take up time.
Before she realized it, the elevator doors were opening as a bing erupted through the apartment signaling her mother's arrival. Sydney stood up from the kitchen table and stretched her legs. Walking into the living room, she smiled as she saw her mother looking around.
"I like the new chair," Irina said with a smile. Throwing her purse down on the front table, she held her hand out.
Sydney walked over and grabbed Irina's outstretched hand. "What is that?" she asked, pointing to the package in her mother's other hand.
"This was down at the front desk." Irina handed the package over to her. "Someone must have left it for you. William recognized me when I came in and instructed the security guard to give me the package. Says it would save him a trip."
"I love William, but he's lazy." Sydney put the package down on one of the tables.
"How are you really doing?" Irina asked.
"Not so well. This is what I was afraid of when I felt myself first falling in love with Sark. The men I love always seem to get hurt because of me."
"But you told me that you thought this time it was different."
"Obviously, it wasn't," Sydney said with a forced laugh. "He's dead, isn't he?"
"Your father told me that they found a body in the rubble on the fifteen floor but they couldn't confirm the identity. Has something changed?"
"No, they still don't know who that is. But I just know that it's him with my luck. I can't seem to keep a boyfriend for more than two years, Mom. It's like a rule."
"You're being harsh on yourself." Irina sighed and sat down on the couch next to her daughter. "Have you spoken to Michael Vaughn since you came back?"
"No. He keeps calling and trying to apologize. But I can't talk to him right now."
"That's perfectly reasonable. He made a huge error that has caused you a lot of pain. It almost makes me want to do the same thing to him that I did to his father."
"But you've been reformed. No more killing," Sydney said, smiling at her mother.
"Not unless it's necessary," Irina replied with a smirk. "Now let's open that package. It looks important."
"Not yet," Sydney said, waving it off. "I have something I wanted to ask you."
"You can ask me anything. My life is an open book to you now."
"A few months ago, you told me that I was about to enter the biggest fight of my lifetime."
"True."
"What did you mean by that?"
"Honestly, I don't know, Sydney. There were just a few documents I came across that said the Covenant was fortifying their resources and building up for some big operation. I had no idea what it was."
"You don't think that this operation was the kidnapping of Tyler Vaughn," she stated more than asked.
"No. The operation I saw the Covenant preparing for was much bigger than that. I think the kidnapping was all a personal vendetta of Eric Weiss. One that didn't go so successful for him."
Sydney reached over and grabbed the envelope her mother had brought her. "I'm not sure that Tyler Vaughn was his target. The operation seemed a little too sloppy and easy to unravel if it was so straightforward."
"I agree with you, Sydney." Irina looked at her watch. "I hate to do this to you because I know how much you need me here. But I have a German diplomat waiting to meet with me in the Village."
"If the CIA only knew that you were trying to resurrect your spy organization, they would lock you right back up in that prison cell."
"No one's going to tell them. And besides, this time it's going to be different. The issues with Rambaldi took up my whole life, to the point of my almost killing you and your father. I'm not going to let that happen again." Irina looked at her daughter intently. "But we're both in agreement that the CIA just isn't getting the job done. They need an organization to work in tandem with. An organization that isn't afraid to get its hands dirty."
"I can't believe you're trying to set up an SD-6 that is actually a covert branch of the CIA."
"I always loved black ops." Irina winked at Sydney and stopped up. "Call me if you need me."
When her mother had left the penthouse, she used her finger to rip open the envelope and pulled out a VHS tape. "What is that?" she wondered. She looked down at the envelope again and muttered, "Must have been hand delivered. No stamps. No return address"
Sighing, Sydney stood up and pushed it into the VCR. She grabbed the remote as she sat back down on the couch and pushed play. She gasped.
Weiss was sitting on a stool in front of the camera.
"Hey, Syd!" he said jollily. "I'd ask you how you're doing, but I know the answer is not so good considering the man of your dreams is currently not around. I couldn't have planned that whole scenario better if I had tried."
"What the hell does he want?" Sydney asked herself.
"I apologize if this feels like I'm rubbing the pain in. But, I kind of am."
"What happened to you, Eric?" she wondered out loud. "When did you become such a monster?"
Stephanie walked on screen. "We just thought you might want to know that Sark was alive when you ran off with your old boyfriend and his new family. You could have probably saved him if you had been willing to try." Sydney started at the TV in shock. "One of our agents located him in the rubble, and he was in our custody for a little while. We thought it might torture you a little knowing he could have been rescued if you had only tried, if you only had the resources to find him."
"And a little torture never hurt anybody," Weiss added. "The ironic thing is you might have had the resources if you hadn't stopped speaking to Vaughn. If he hadn't had made such a horrible decision back in Miami. I didn't see that one coming, I can tell you that! But I digress. I just wanted to let you know that Sark lost his usefulness rather quickly and got quite annoying, too. That boy has a mouth on him! Woo boy!"
Stephanie looked straight into the camera. "We had him killed this morning. Sorry!"
Sydney could feel the tears trickle down her cheeks as the impact of their words hit home. Sark was gone for good.
"Don't worry, Bristow," Stephanie said with a chuckle. "You'll be seeing us again real soon. And maybe we'll let you live long enough to get at least a little bit of revenge."
Sydney sat on the couch in silence staring at the black screen. She knew the purpose of that video was to make her feel as if the situation was hopeless. The ironic thing was the video didn't leave her feeling that way. Instead, it made her only that much more determined to figure out what had really happened in Miami.
She couldn't trust Weiss now that he had switched over to the other side. Which was why she really believed that he was lying when he said Sark was dead. "I mean, wouldn't I feel it inside somewhere if he wasn't here anymore? I have to believe I would," she said, partially trying to convince herself.
A thought suddenly occurred to her. "I'm thinking that Irina's prophecy was right," she reasoned out loud as she stood up and started pacing. "But not in the way either one of us thought. She said I was going to be entering into the fight of my life. Maybe it's not a fight for my life… maybe it's a fight to get the life I love back. Or more specifically to get the love of my life back."
"Fight of my life, huh?" Sydney looked back at the still pitch black TV. "Well if that's the case, I think I'm knee deep in it. If the Covenant thinks I'm just going to sit back and do nothing about the fact that they have Sark, they're completely wrong. I have worked too hard and too long to have a life with him to let it all just go down the drain at the first sign of hardship."
Thinking about what she said, she laughed. "That's not exactly true. It isn't our first hurdle to get over, and it won't be our last. But he wouldn't give up on me when I was shot. I'm not going to give up on him just because some pesky evil agency says that they killed him."
Suddenly, she realized she was acting like a crazy person, pacing back and forth while talking to herself. She went in the kitchen to grab her cell phone and begin making calls. There were quite a few people out there she knew who owed her favors.
And it was the perfect time to cash in.