Authors Note: Thanks to all my new reviewers. I hope you are all enjoying my story. Feel free to send me any ideas or tips for my upcoming chapters. Thanks again! Also sorry it took so long. I was busy. I know it's a bit shorter, but I wanted to get it done for you!
That night James couldn't fall asleep, no matter how tired he was. The image of Lily's shocked face kept popping up in his head. She had just started to befriend him and he had ruined it. 'Now she probably hates me,' he thought sadly.
The pain in his shoulder continued to get worse as time went by. He had tried a few pain relieving charms, but they only worked for a few hours. He knew sooner or later the charms would be ineffective and he would have to tell someone. Until then he would have to try and find a way to get rid of it.
Setting his glasses on the nightstand he closed his eyes. Unsuccessful at achieving sleep he entertained himself with images of him and his little sister playing. He missed her so much.
"It's all my fault," he whispered to the darkness.
" I should have been quicker. I shouldn't have let her go out into the road like that. She may still be alive if it weren't for me."
These thoughts had been pounded into his head by his father ever since her death. His mother didn't speak anymore. Ever since Emily had died she hadn't spoken a word. Even when James' screams from his fathers abuse reached her ears she barely gave it a second thought. He had grown used to the absence of his mothers words.
He let out a small moan of pain as he lay on his pulsing shoulder. He knew it wasn't right for it to beat like that. The fact that the veins around it were black, frankly scared him. Cured of his Insomnia he slowly fell asleep only to be caught in the throws of a painful nightmare.
The next morning James woke up tired and soar. His nightmares had caused him to wake in a feverish sweat at least twice that night. Yawning he sat up and grabbed his glasses from his night stand, putting them on. He threw his blankets off and walked into the bathroom to take a shower. As the water ran over him he thought about Lily. He was now so nervous around her. After practically spilling his darkest secrets to her, he didn't think he could face her. She probably was embarrassed by him or ashamed. The great James Potter beaten. What a joke.
He turned off the shower, stepped out, and got dressed. Placing his books in his bag he quietly crept sown the stairs. Making sure Lily wasn't in the common room, he bolted out the portrait hole and made his way to the Great Hall to join his friends for breakfast.
"Hey Jamsie poo, are you alright. You looked kind of sick last night?" Sirius looked up at him worriedly.
"Yeah, I'm fine, just a small stomach ache." He smiled sheepishly and sat down.
Remus looked and smiled at him from his book. Dark shadows hung below his eyes. Tonight was a full moon and Remus' symptoms were their as usual. It was obvious he was feeling the effects of the full moon. James smiled weakly back at him and stuffed a piece of sausage in his mouth.
Suddenly Lily entered the hall with Taylor, her eyes searched the Gryfindor table fiercely until they rested on James. She walked with Taylor to the three empty seats near the Marauders and sat down. The female population of the school glared furiously at them.
"Well Lily darling how kind of you to grace us with your presence," Sirius said smiling brightly. Lily smiled at him.
"Good to see you too Sirius," Lily laughed at him then turned to look James. Her eyes resting on his back. Then she quickly diverted them to his face.
"So how are you doing James?" He turned and looked at her nervously. She smiled and acted as if nothing had happened the night before. Blushing he answered.
"I'm fine," he quickly looked away. Smiling at the fact that she got an answer she turned to talk to Taylor about the quiditch match coming up.
"Hey, Prongs, what's up with you, you're never nervous around Lils?" Sirius asked.
"Nothing, I'm fine, its just…. never mind." Sirius looked at him for a moment, but eventually turned back to his food, inhaling as if it where his last meal in earth.
"James," his name was shouted from down the table. He looked up. It was Andrew Harper the Keeper on the Gryfindor Quiditch team.
"Are we gonna have practice tonight, that game against the Slytherins is in three days and I want to start the year off good." Sirius looked up and nodded his head in agreement. James smiled at the two, they knew the one thing that could keep his mind off his troubles. Quiditch.
"Yeah spread the word, practice is tomorrow night at 7. We'll probably be out until around nine or ten so prepare for a long night." Andrew smiled and turned back to his meal. James noticed a small ache in his shoulder. The pain spell was starting to wear off. He pulled out his wand and laced it with another spell. Sighing he thought of how he was going to get through practice tonight. Breakfast was soon over and the group left for class.