Chapter 2:
That was a month ago. The end of April, to be exact. The ever-present trio had returned to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. There had been a grand ball in Harry's honor of course. He had been dateless for the event, but had no lack of dance partners. The first dance was Hermione's, then Ginny, then several he didn't know. Things were slowly coming back to normal.
For instance, They had to take their exams. N.E.W.T.s, as required by all 7th years. Hermione was studying. Ron was napping, his face pressed against a heavy volume that Hermione had shoved into his hands hours ago. Harry was watching them. The sound of the wind drew his attention briefly to the common room window. It was nearly 3 p.m. but it looked every bit of midnight. Harry tore his gaze away to ponder more troubleing thoughts than the weather.His eyes snapped from Hermione to Ron then back again.
How could they actually be together? THis question had plagued Harry from the moment he returned with his best friends to classes. Everyone, it appeared, knew except Harry. Harry hadn't mentioned it. He preferred to keep it that way. Not knowing was better then getting the whole story told in excited voices. He didn't want to pretend to be happy. Didn't feel the need to act as if he was thrilled for his friedns. HE simply wasn't. "If I had-"
"Harry?" Hermione looked up from her notes, dropping her quill. "What were you saying?"
He had to think quickly. "Oh..um, I was jsut thinking aloud."
"What about, mate?" Ron muttered through a yawn.
"If I had realized I was this far behind in my studies, I wouldn't have come back." Harry stood. "I've.....I'm going for a walk." He grabbed his cloak and headed for the Great Hall. He didn't stop there. He didn't stop when he got to the stairs, he didn't stop until he was by the lake.
The time passed by slowly. He hadn't truly been alone since he had destroyed Lord Voldemort. He hadn't been alowed time to think about everything. He dropped to his knees as the rain began to fall. His left arm throbbed, an after effect of a spell that he had failed to completely dodge. "If only Sirius were here." He told the wind. "It's my fault he's dead." Harry called out. He could hardly hear his voice as the wind threatened to take over. "Mad-Eye died for me! Tonks is crippled because of me! Lupin lost his soul because of me!" He continued to scream into the continually darkening night.
He clawed at the earth as if he were begging it to open up and swallow him. He let out a sob, then another. Within moments he had lost control of his emotions. Losing all his strength, he dropped his face into the mud. When he realized he couldn't breathe, he rolled onto his back, mouth open, willing the dark clouds to intensify their attempts of flooding Hogwarts. HE willed them to drown him in water just as he was drowning in his own agony.
"HARRY!" Came a shrieking woman's voice. He ignored it. "HARRY POTTER!" He lifted his head, spitting water everywhere. Proffesor McGonagall grabbed his arm and hauled him into the Entrance Hall. "What were you doing out there!" She demanded.
"Drowning." The floor had suddenly become overly fascinating.
McGonagall glared at him. "This is no time for jokes, Mr. Potter."
"I am aware of the, Professor. I was being serious." Harry choked on a sob as he spoke the word so closely related to his deceased godfather's name.
McGonagall said nothing, though Harry heard her sniff loudly. "You never should have had to-" She paused and abruptly changed her tone. "Be out there in this weather. Return to Gryffindor Tower, Harry. You need to get into some dry clothing and rest."
Harry mutely nodded and began to drag his soaking robes (now much more heavy) up the stairs toward what he hoped was an empty common room.
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That was a month ago. The end of April, to be exact. The ever-present trio had returned to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. There had been a grand ball in Harry's honor of course. He had been dateless for the event, but had no lack of dance partners. The first dance was Hermione's, then Ginny, then several he didn't know. Things were slowly coming back to normal.
For instance, They had to take their exams. N.E.W.T.s, as required by all 7th years. Hermione was studying. Ron was napping, his face pressed against a heavy volume that Hermione had shoved into his hands hours ago. Harry was watching them. The sound of the wind drew his attention briefly to the common room window. It was nearly 3 p.m. but it looked every bit of midnight. Harry tore his gaze away to ponder more troubleing thoughts than the weather.His eyes snapped from Hermione to Ron then back again.
How could they actually be together? THis question had plagued Harry from the moment he returned with his best friends to classes. Everyone, it appeared, knew except Harry. Harry hadn't mentioned it. He preferred to keep it that way. Not knowing was better then getting the whole story told in excited voices. He didn't want to pretend to be happy. Didn't feel the need to act as if he was thrilled for his friedns. HE simply wasn't. "If I had-"
"Harry?" Hermione looked up from her notes, dropping her quill. "What were you saying?"
He had to think quickly. "Oh..um, I was jsut thinking aloud."
"What about, mate?" Ron muttered through a yawn.
"If I had realized I was this far behind in my studies, I wouldn't have come back." Harry stood. "I've.....I'm going for a walk." He grabbed his cloak and headed for the Great Hall. He didn't stop there. He didn't stop when he got to the stairs, he didn't stop until he was by the lake.
The time passed by slowly. He hadn't truly been alone since he had destroyed Lord Voldemort. He hadn't been alowed time to think about everything. He dropped to his knees as the rain began to fall. His left arm throbbed, an after effect of a spell that he had failed to completely dodge. "If only Sirius were here." He told the wind. "It's my fault he's dead." Harry called out. He could hardly hear his voice as the wind threatened to take over. "Mad-Eye died for me! Tonks is crippled because of me! Lupin lost his soul because of me!" He continued to scream into the continually darkening night.
He clawed at the earth as if he were begging it to open up and swallow him. He let out a sob, then another. Within moments he had lost control of his emotions. Losing all his strength, he dropped his face into the mud. When he realized he couldn't breathe, he rolled onto his back, mouth open, willing the dark clouds to intensify their attempts of flooding Hogwarts. HE willed them to drown him in water just as he was drowning in his own agony.
"HARRY!" Came a shrieking woman's voice. He ignored it. "HARRY POTTER!" He lifted his head, spitting water everywhere. Proffesor McGonagall grabbed his arm and hauled him into the Entrance Hall. "What were you doing out there!" She demanded.
"Drowning." The floor had suddenly become overly fascinating.
McGonagall glared at him. "This is no time for jokes, Mr. Potter."
"I am aware of the, Professor. I was being serious." Harry choked on a sob as he spoke the word so closely related to his deceased godfather's name.
McGonagall said nothing, though Harry heard her sniff loudly. "You never should have had to-" She paused and abruptly changed her tone. "Be out there in this weather. Return to Gryffindor Tower, Harry. You need to get into some dry clothing and rest."
Harry mutely nodded and began to drag his soaking robes (now much more heavy) up the stairs toward what he hoped was an empty common room.
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