Author's Note: Erm....sorry it took so long. I've had a crazy couple of
weeks. My brother graduated from college and then I just had a helluva a
lot of work. I'm sorry to say this, but don't expect another update until
next weekend. Sucks, don't it? Sucks even more for me. I'm the one with all
the projects and tests and junk. School is evil.
And believe it or not, this story does have a plot other than just 'Elfwine writes about stuff'. There's fighting action! Eventually. Basically, Elfwine ends up getting in on the battle at Harad with his father. And no, he does not disguise himself as a random common soldier. Rohan's smarter after Eowyn's little romp into the face of evil. They take their soldier's names.
August 8, Afternoon
So.....what can I really write about? Master Legolas and Master Gimli are here. They won't let me forget how they found me stuck in a tree. Well, ha ha. I'd like to see them outride me on a horse. Who would be laughing then? I'll give you a hint. IT WOULD BE ME.
I am a bit worried about Father. A rumor's been spreading through Rohan that Harad was suddenly backed up by a large group of remaining orcs and more human forces. Of course....last year there was a rumor that my best friend, Jimmy was actually a dog that a wizard had turned into a human.
Honestly. The things people believe.
August 9, Mid-morning
Got in a fight with one of the servants. Caught him insulting my parents. Saying my Father spent so much time away from the kingdom because he hated my Mother. The servant was also bold enough to say that I was an illegitimate and Father's not really my father.
I have a black eye and a split lip, but that servant boy won't be insulting my family again. He may not be walking for a while either......
Just in case you're wondering, I bit his ankle. Very hard. I drew blood. Mother always said I have teeth like a wolf.
August 11, Evening
The worst has happened. The worst.
It started with a letter from Father. He sends them occasionally just to give Mother and I an update on what's happening down in Harad. He wrote what he always writes. The war is going fine. It should be over soon. Harad's still losing.
But the end of the letter was the most disturbing part. There was a few drops of blood.
People do not bleed when things are fine. Has Father been lying to us? Is the war not going all that well and he's just been lying to keep Mother and I from worrying?
PEOPLE DO NOT BLEED WHEN THINGS ARE FINE!
August 11, Night
What if Father is injured? What if he is injured badly? If he is injured badly and goes into battle, he's venerable. He could be dealt a fatal wound.
August 11, Early Morning
What if he dies?
August 12, Mid-Morning
Well, I suppose I must have been wearing the 'I am worried' expression on my face all morning because Mother, the servants, Master Gimli, and Master Legolas all asked me what was wrong.
I always feel awkward talking to people about things I am worried about. What if they think I'm stupid or foolish?
I ended up talking to Master Legolas after he sat across from me in the Dining Hall and stared at me for a solid ten minutes. Elves have creepy stares.
Anyway, Master Legolas told me that my worries were justified. War is never safe, no matter how idiotic the enemy. He said to remember that Father is strong and capable warrior. He's probably quite safe.
The word "probably" is not very comforting and it does not erase the fact that my father was bleeding.
August 14, Afternoon
I have been meandering around the house for the past two days. Everything's been dull. Mother's had me taking extra lessons to take my mind of Father. She can tell I'm worried. History is boring. Like I care about King Elessar's bloodline. Bah.
August 14, Afternoon
.......King Elessar has two elven "brothers" named Elladan and Elrohir. They are twins. I wish I had a twin.
August 14, three seconds later
On second thought.....my twin would probably be evil. So, maybe not.
August 16, Evening
Still worried about Father. It is torture not knowing what is happening. I think I'll have to go after him. Just to see if he is alright.
August 16, Late Evening
In fact, going after Father isn't such as bad idea. I won't be fighting in any battles. I'll just pop down to Harad. Just to make sure Father is alright. I won't be breaking any rules and I'll leave Mother a note telling her......I've gone to visit the Aunt Eowyn. Lying isn't exactly the best idea, but Mother would probably send someone after me and bring me back. That's not what I need. I've gone to Minas Tirith before. Aunt Eowyn and co. are staying there due to the fact that Uncle Faramir is running Gondor while King Elessar fights with Father. I think I have mentioned that before. Oh well. Repeating things is good for the mind.
Or so I'm told.
Why would my tutors lie to me?
August 17, Early Morning
Leaving for Harad. Obviously, I am sneaking out. Firefoot is prissy in the mornings. Stupid spoiled horse. How am I ever going to take this brat to war? They don't allow brats in war.
.....Who is this "They" I just spoke about?
Anway, ho hum....riding....south. Harad is south and so is my Father. Yay for the south?
Well, not really yay. Harad is in the south and I certainly don't like Harad.
People do not bleed when they are fine. Just keep telling yourself that, Eflwine.
......Why am I writing to myself?
August 18, Evening
Traveling in August, southwards was not my brightest of ideas.
August 20, Afternoon
Still heading south. I'm not exactly sure how long it takes to Harad, but I'm sure I won't miss it when I get there.
How can you miss two armies attacking eachother?
.....Well, if I were blind I could miss them.....
August 23, Evening
Okay.....I've been traveling for a while. I think Firefoot hates me. He's not used to traveling for so long at such a pace.
I SEE LIGHTS!
August 24, Mid-day
Okay, a little update here. It turned out the lights were coming from a Harad military camp. Not exactly the best thing for the future king of Rohan to walk right into.
So, obviously, I snuck around a bit.
Then they spotted me. And I ran. And they chased me. And I ran some more. And they chased me. And I continued to run and they stopped chasing me, but I continued to run.
I've just learned that adrenaline is an advantage.
Anyhoo, ended up running until I crashed into a rock. Well, it wasn't really a rock. It was actually a man. And not just any man.
King Elessar. He recognized me right away. That man has the memory of an Oliphant. He wasn't very happy to see me out in the middle of nowhere, unarmed (I had left my weapons with Firefoot), lacking a horse, alone, and covered in dirt.
It's the desert. You get dirty in the desert. And who is he to question my cleanliness? I've seen the way he looks after living in the forest and whatnot.
King Elessar had some of his soldiers take me to their camp. Where I met my Father. Turns out he is injured. Not fatally, but it did require many stitches and he can't go into battle for a few days. Naturally, having me show up did not improve Father's mood.
.....So....he yelled at me....and yelled....and lectured. The whole camp has felt........and heard the wrath of my father. I bet they won't be angering him anytime soon.
But then something really weird happened. Father stopped in the middle of his lecture (which I've never known him to do) and suddenly embraced me, which was even more weird. Father was never one for physical closeness. At least not with me.
But I get off topic.....
Father was hugging me, saying how much he missed me and how he was glad that I was alright and that the Harad soldiers hadn't caught me.
And of course, being the loser I am, I began to cry. Told him how I missed him and how I feel so out of place at home and how the servants make fun of my name and question my birth. Told him that Mother doesn't understand me and the Tart and Elboron are annoying and vile. Told Father how I worry that he's going to die and I want this whole stupid war to end-
.......deep breaths.....deeeeeeep breaths. Wow. These past couple days have been rather depressing.
.....but Father's alive and he's not going into battle until he's recovered, so he'll have his full strength to fight.
AND GUESS WHAT?!
I get to stay here! Father says it is too dangerous to send me back alone and they can't spare soldiers to escort me.
Ha ha! For once parental worry comes in handy.
August 27, Evening
Firefoot found camp. Trotted in, dragging my supply bag and practically begging for food. Can't that animal do anything on its own? Honestly, it's like I spoiled it rotten or something. It must be the stable boy. Blast him. He spoiled my horse.
Father thought he was amusing and he just kept laughing as I tried to groom all the dirt and nasty things from Firefoot. Firefoot kept running away and ended up kicking a bucket of water at my head. Oh, that horse will pay.
And Father just keeps laughing.
.....Well, I guess it's alright that I can make him happy.
TBC.....
Author's Note: Well.....that was weirdly sappy. Ah well....Elfwine's entitled to sap. I just caught up with his father. Wouldn't you be sappy?! The poor boy been's tortured about his father.
.....yeah. Anyhoo, I promise I'll try to put more laughs in the next chapter.
HAVE YOU HUGGED YOUR DADDY TODAY?!
And believe it or not, this story does have a plot other than just 'Elfwine writes about stuff'. There's fighting action! Eventually. Basically, Elfwine ends up getting in on the battle at Harad with his father. And no, he does not disguise himself as a random common soldier. Rohan's smarter after Eowyn's little romp into the face of evil. They take their soldier's names.
August 8, Afternoon
So.....what can I really write about? Master Legolas and Master Gimli are here. They won't let me forget how they found me stuck in a tree. Well, ha ha. I'd like to see them outride me on a horse. Who would be laughing then? I'll give you a hint. IT WOULD BE ME.
I am a bit worried about Father. A rumor's been spreading through Rohan that Harad was suddenly backed up by a large group of remaining orcs and more human forces. Of course....last year there was a rumor that my best friend, Jimmy was actually a dog that a wizard had turned into a human.
Honestly. The things people believe.
August 9, Mid-morning
Got in a fight with one of the servants. Caught him insulting my parents. Saying my Father spent so much time away from the kingdom because he hated my Mother. The servant was also bold enough to say that I was an illegitimate and Father's not really my father.
I have a black eye and a split lip, but that servant boy won't be insulting my family again. He may not be walking for a while either......
Just in case you're wondering, I bit his ankle. Very hard. I drew blood. Mother always said I have teeth like a wolf.
August 11, Evening
The worst has happened. The worst.
It started with a letter from Father. He sends them occasionally just to give Mother and I an update on what's happening down in Harad. He wrote what he always writes. The war is going fine. It should be over soon. Harad's still losing.
But the end of the letter was the most disturbing part. There was a few drops of blood.
People do not bleed when things are fine. Has Father been lying to us? Is the war not going all that well and he's just been lying to keep Mother and I from worrying?
PEOPLE DO NOT BLEED WHEN THINGS ARE FINE!
August 11, Night
What if Father is injured? What if he is injured badly? If he is injured badly and goes into battle, he's venerable. He could be dealt a fatal wound.
August 11, Early Morning
What if he dies?
August 12, Mid-Morning
Well, I suppose I must have been wearing the 'I am worried' expression on my face all morning because Mother, the servants, Master Gimli, and Master Legolas all asked me what was wrong.
I always feel awkward talking to people about things I am worried about. What if they think I'm stupid or foolish?
I ended up talking to Master Legolas after he sat across from me in the Dining Hall and stared at me for a solid ten minutes. Elves have creepy stares.
Anyway, Master Legolas told me that my worries were justified. War is never safe, no matter how idiotic the enemy. He said to remember that Father is strong and capable warrior. He's probably quite safe.
The word "probably" is not very comforting and it does not erase the fact that my father was bleeding.
August 14, Afternoon
I have been meandering around the house for the past two days. Everything's been dull. Mother's had me taking extra lessons to take my mind of Father. She can tell I'm worried. History is boring. Like I care about King Elessar's bloodline. Bah.
August 14, Afternoon
.......King Elessar has two elven "brothers" named Elladan and Elrohir. They are twins. I wish I had a twin.
August 14, three seconds later
On second thought.....my twin would probably be evil. So, maybe not.
August 16, Evening
Still worried about Father. It is torture not knowing what is happening. I think I'll have to go after him. Just to see if he is alright.
August 16, Late Evening
In fact, going after Father isn't such as bad idea. I won't be fighting in any battles. I'll just pop down to Harad. Just to make sure Father is alright. I won't be breaking any rules and I'll leave Mother a note telling her......I've gone to visit the Aunt Eowyn. Lying isn't exactly the best idea, but Mother would probably send someone after me and bring me back. That's not what I need. I've gone to Minas Tirith before. Aunt Eowyn and co. are staying there due to the fact that Uncle Faramir is running Gondor while King Elessar fights with Father. I think I have mentioned that before. Oh well. Repeating things is good for the mind.
Or so I'm told.
Why would my tutors lie to me?
August 17, Early Morning
Leaving for Harad. Obviously, I am sneaking out. Firefoot is prissy in the mornings. Stupid spoiled horse. How am I ever going to take this brat to war? They don't allow brats in war.
.....Who is this "They" I just spoke about?
Anway, ho hum....riding....south. Harad is south and so is my Father. Yay for the south?
Well, not really yay. Harad is in the south and I certainly don't like Harad.
People do not bleed when they are fine. Just keep telling yourself that, Eflwine.
......Why am I writing to myself?
August 18, Evening
Traveling in August, southwards was not my brightest of ideas.
August 20, Afternoon
Still heading south. I'm not exactly sure how long it takes to Harad, but I'm sure I won't miss it when I get there.
How can you miss two armies attacking eachother?
.....Well, if I were blind I could miss them.....
August 23, Evening
Okay.....I've been traveling for a while. I think Firefoot hates me. He's not used to traveling for so long at such a pace.
I SEE LIGHTS!
August 24, Mid-day
Okay, a little update here. It turned out the lights were coming from a Harad military camp. Not exactly the best thing for the future king of Rohan to walk right into.
So, obviously, I snuck around a bit.
Then they spotted me. And I ran. And they chased me. And I ran some more. And they chased me. And I continued to run and they stopped chasing me, but I continued to run.
I've just learned that adrenaline is an advantage.
Anyhoo, ended up running until I crashed into a rock. Well, it wasn't really a rock. It was actually a man. And not just any man.
King Elessar. He recognized me right away. That man has the memory of an Oliphant. He wasn't very happy to see me out in the middle of nowhere, unarmed (I had left my weapons with Firefoot), lacking a horse, alone, and covered in dirt.
It's the desert. You get dirty in the desert. And who is he to question my cleanliness? I've seen the way he looks after living in the forest and whatnot.
King Elessar had some of his soldiers take me to their camp. Where I met my Father. Turns out he is injured. Not fatally, but it did require many stitches and he can't go into battle for a few days. Naturally, having me show up did not improve Father's mood.
.....So....he yelled at me....and yelled....and lectured. The whole camp has felt........and heard the wrath of my father. I bet they won't be angering him anytime soon.
But then something really weird happened. Father stopped in the middle of his lecture (which I've never known him to do) and suddenly embraced me, which was even more weird. Father was never one for physical closeness. At least not with me.
But I get off topic.....
Father was hugging me, saying how much he missed me and how he was glad that I was alright and that the Harad soldiers hadn't caught me.
And of course, being the loser I am, I began to cry. Told him how I missed him and how I feel so out of place at home and how the servants make fun of my name and question my birth. Told him that Mother doesn't understand me and the Tart and Elboron are annoying and vile. Told Father how I worry that he's going to die and I want this whole stupid war to end-
.......deep breaths.....deeeeeeep breaths. Wow. These past couple days have been rather depressing.
.....but Father's alive and he's not going into battle until he's recovered, so he'll have his full strength to fight.
AND GUESS WHAT?!
I get to stay here! Father says it is too dangerous to send me back alone and they can't spare soldiers to escort me.
Ha ha! For once parental worry comes in handy.
August 27, Evening
Firefoot found camp. Trotted in, dragging my supply bag and practically begging for food. Can't that animal do anything on its own? Honestly, it's like I spoiled it rotten or something. It must be the stable boy. Blast him. He spoiled my horse.
Father thought he was amusing and he just kept laughing as I tried to groom all the dirt and nasty things from Firefoot. Firefoot kept running away and ended up kicking a bucket of water at my head. Oh, that horse will pay.
And Father just keeps laughing.
.....Well, I guess it's alright that I can make him happy.
TBC.....
Author's Note: Well.....that was weirdly sappy. Ah well....Elfwine's entitled to sap. I just caught up with his father. Wouldn't you be sappy?! The poor boy been's tortured about his father.
.....yeah. Anyhoo, I promise I'll try to put more laughs in the next chapter.
HAVE YOU HUGGED YOUR DADDY TODAY?!