With Friends like These
Daniel knocked on Teal'c's door just before opening it without waiting for a response. He was looking down at a gaggle of papers in his hand. "Hey Teal'c, can I get your help translating a few things." The Jaffa was sitting on the edge of the neatly made bed in his small quarters facing towards a little TV. The room was the typical plain military design with simple décor, no more than a bed and a dresser. Only Teal'c's candles and a few other personal items made the space feel more inviting. Teal'c turned his attention to Daniel as he entered.
"I will be happy to assist you with whatever you wish DanielJackson, however, can it wait until I am finished?"
"What are you watching?"
"It is an infant chicken's film."
This took Daniel a second. "A chick flick, Teal'c?" Realizing that the movie on the TV was "An Affair to Remember" and seeing a stack of other movies: "When Harry met Sally", "While You Were Sleeping" etc., sitting on the table. "Why are you watching romance movies?"
"To better understand the mating rituals of your world. I find them most...unnecessarily complex. I have watched many films on the subject and discover I am no closer to finding an answer."
"An answer to what?"
"ColonelO'Neill and MajorCarter." Daniel was a little surprised at his bluntness, but then again it was Teal'c. Though they were all aware of the attraction that was between their teammates, no one ever really talked about it. "It is obvious that they care for each other very much, yet they refuse to do anything to change their current relationship."
"Yeah well, that's where things Their military positions make it difficult for them to change anything..." Daniel paused, knowing that this excuse wasn't a very good one. It's what they used, but he knew that they could figure something out if and when they were ready to face the reality of their feelings. Daniel saw that Teal'c knew that too as he just looked at Daniel out of the corner of his eye with that raised eyebrow. "OK. I think it's just; they both have some personal issues to face, that they just may not be ready to face yet. It's just become easier for them to hide behind the job, and pretend like there isn't anything...there."
"Do you not think we should help them DanielJackson?" "Help them...what?" Teal'c looked at Daniel.
"Help them face these issues. When I was on Chulak serving for Apophis, the only thing that made me truly happy was to come home and see my wife and son. And though I no longer have them with me, I would not change that part of my life if I had to do it all again. Surely you feel similar about your time spent with Sha'uri."
Daniel paused for a minute, staring at the floor. "Yeah,"
"Then do not our friends deserve a similar experience." Daniel thought about all of this for a minute.
"Alright, what do you propose we do to 'help our friends'?"
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Teal'c and Daniel stood in the corner of the busy mess hall watching as Jack and Sam sat across from each other at a table. The two simply ate their breakfast silently; Sam was reading one section of the newspaper as Jack was reading the comic section, smiling every now and then. "Alright, follow my lead." Daniel whispered to Teal'c as they began to walk over to their friends table. Daniel was carrying a cup of coffee and more papers. Teal'c just held his hands behind his back. "Hey guys!' He said, trying not to sound as pensive as he was, thinking about how he was going to do this. The two teammates looked up and smiled.
"Danny boy! Teal'c! Have a seat." Jack said motioning to the two empty chairs beside himself and Sam.
"Uh, actually Teal'c and I need to sit next to each other...um, I want to go over some...stuff...with him."
"Can't it wait until after breakfast?"
Pause
"No...it can't." Jack and Sam looked at each other, Jack just giving her the look that said, "I'm not moving." Sam gathered her stuff, rolling her eyes, and moved to the other side of the table next to Jack. Daniel just gave thanks in a smile as he took a seat, and Teal'c moved to sit next to him. When they all settled, Sam and Jack went back to their reading, and Daniel stared at them for a moment as Teal'c waited to follow his lead.
"Sam, you look very nice today," Daniel finally said breaking the silence. She looked up a bit surprised and gave a small smile.
"Thanks. New outfit." Though she was wearing the same uniform she wore everyday. Daniel giggled causing both Sam and Jack to look at him like he had just grown a third arm.
"That's-that's really funny." He got out grinning. Teal'c looked out of the corner of his eye at Daniel, and then tuned to Sam.
"You are indeed most humorous this day MajorCarter." He said very matter of factually, putting on his best smile. Sam and Jack just blinked at them.
"You two feeling...ok?
"I just don't think we appreciate how great it is to have... such a smart, funny, beautiful woman working with us." Sam began to blush a little, Jack continued to stare.
"Indeed we do not." Teal'c declared
More staring
"Carter, you feel...unappreciated?"
"Uhhh-"
"See, she's fine. Now what's up with you two?"
"Nothings up, I'm just...saying." Daniel said giving Sam a big grin. Before anyone could say anything else, Sam stood up. Quickly followed by Daniel.
"Uh, I really have a lot of...stuff to do before our briefing; I'm going to go now." Sam said gathering her stuff. "Why are you standing?"
"A gentleman's supposed to stand when a lady leaves." He said with a grin. Teal'c stood up too, leaving Jack sitting, looking confused.
"Right." She said and giving a forced smile, then giving both Daniel and Teal'c an almost frightened look before walking away, looking back to see Daniel and Teal'c smiling after her. After she was gone they sat down. Jack was still looking at them like he was trying to figure out what just happened.
"Maybe you two should visit the infirmary before our briefing. You know maybe have a CAT scan or something."
"Jack we're perfectly fine. I guess I've just come to realize how...special Sam is."
"As have I."
Pause
"OK. Just try not to freak Carter out too much. Alright?" Jack replied standing up. "Please gentlemen, stay seated." He said, collecting his tray and mockingly holding out his hand motioning them to stay sitting, before walking out.
"What precisely were you attempting to do DanielJackson?
"I was trying to make Jack jealous."
"It appears you were unsuccessful."
"Yeah. Not sure why."
"Perhaps O'Neill is secure in the fact that MajorCarter does not have romantic feelings for you and therefore would not be concerned if you attempted to create a relationship with her, for she would not reciprocate the affection." Daniel looked a little hurt.
"Well, I think it is at least a little plausible that she could be attracted to me." Teal'c just looked at Daniel out of the corner of his eye. "Right. Thanks. OK, plan B."
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Jack sat at his desk, trying to decide what he it was he wanted to do the least. Finish up the report from the last mission? Sign the stack of papers waiting for his signature? Read that new security upgrade...thing? He settled on watching TV. He was now trying to decide between "I Love Lucy" and "Roseanne" when there was a knock on the door. He sighed, turned off the TV and gruffed "Come in." wait "Daniel! Hello."
"Hey Jack, how's it going?" Daniel asked, his arms crossed, looking around the small room. It was about half the size of the General's office with a desk that was covered with stacks of papers, a bookcase holding a TV that left little room for books, a small couch and two chairs in front of the desk all crammed into the small space. It was all very military neutral colors, except for a few airplane pictures hanging on the wall. "You know...I just realized...I don't think I've ever been in your office before."
. "That's because, I've been keeping it a secret that I even had one. There's a reason for that you know. What's up? You done...playing games on Carter?" Daniel rolled his eyes.
"I wasn't...playing games, I was...never mind. I just thought I'd stop by. Say hello. Talk."
"Talk?" Jack asked looking confused again. "Look, Daniel, what's up with you today, your acting...weird...er than usual."
"Do you ever get lonely, Jack?" Daniel asked, sitting down in the chair in front of the Colonel's desk.
"Excuse me?"
"You know lonely. You've been divorced now for...a while. Ever miss...you know..."
"Nooo?"
"Having someone to come home to, to hang out with, talk to..."
More staring
"K, Daniel, your freaking me out a little here, buddy." Daniel looked at his friend, who was now looking at him like that third arm was now holding a gun. He sighed.
"I was just wondering if you've ever considered...getting married again...or something"
Pause
"You know I'm...strait, right?" Daniel rolled his eyes shut, and decided to go back to the jealous angle
"I'm thinking about asking Sam out."
"Out where?"
"You know...out. On a date."
More staring
"Carter's not gonna go out with you!"
"Why?"
"Because."
"Because...why?"
"Daniel! This is the reason you have never been to my office, so I have a place to avoid these exact kinds of conversations! Believe me, if I feel like hitting my head against a brick wall, I'll find you!" Daniel gave a frustrated smile, rubbing his eyes.
"You're beating your head against a wall. That's-that's great." Sigh. "Never mind. Forget I said anything." And with that he left, leaving a very confused Col. O'Neill.
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Sam was looking through a microscope in her lab not paying much attention to anything else when Teal'c walked up. She had various equipment spread out in a very organized fashion all around the counter. "Find anything interesting MajorCarter." He said causing her to jump.
"Teal'c! You startled me!' She said catching her breath. She looked at him a bit suspiciously; the sudden appearance didn't help in addition to his behavior that morning in the mess and the weird look he gave her all during the briefing, in addition to Daniel's weird grin, it was a very uncomfortable briefing.
"I did not mean to startle you, I simply meant to say hello."
"Hello," She replied, giving a half smile, at first a little hesitant. Than she reminded herself that this was Teal'c, and occasional weirdness was to be expected. "Uh, no I haven't really found anything, these soil samples don't contain any evidence of the naquadah that SG-7 claimed was so abundant on P3X-829. I think we're looking in the wrong place." Teal'c just stared at her. "So, what's up?"
"I simply came by to...chat."
"Ok, about what?"
"Whatever you wish, MajorCarter. How are you feeling?"
Pause
"Fine. How are you feeling?"
"I feel fine as well"
"Ok." She said turning back to her samples, waiting for whatever Teal'c would say next.
"Do you not wish to someday have children MajorCarter?" She didn't expect that.
"What!" She looked up at him, her eyes wide.
"I was merely curious. I have noticed that most Tauri women desire to have a child, and endeavor to do so before they are at an age when they are unable to bear children, yet I have seen no effort on your part to have a child of your own. I can only assume that since your time to do so is running out, you do not wish to have a child. I find this fascinating"
It was a few seconds before she could respond, mainly out of pure shock. "Well, I think I have a few more years left Teal'c, before I...give up all hopes of having a child." She wasn't sure if she should be angry, hurt, offended or what. If it had been anyone else she would have more of a clue, but Teal'c may just be genuinely...curious.
"To what end? How long will you wait? What are you waiting for?"
Again speechless.
"On Chulak even the strongest of our female warriors take the time to have a child, they believe it is extremely important to pass their wisdom and heritage on to future generations. Is it because you have still not found a mate?" Now she didn't really care how "curious" he was, she did not want to have this conversation.
"OK, look. Teal'c, I'm sorry but I think that this conversation has gone on long enough. I don't know...just..." Breath. "Teal'c, I don't really know what my plans are right now on this subject, alright? I just...I...I don't know."
"I did not mean to upset you. My apologies. I will leave you to your work." And with a nod of his head he left, leaving a very disturbed Major Carter.
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Sam swiped her card for the elevator with a sigh more than ready to go home. She had spent the better part of the last half of her day avoiding Daniel and Teal'c. The doors opened, Jack was leaning against the back wall.
"Carter. Going home?"
"Yes, sir." She responded as she got into the elevator standing next to her CO.
"You look...tired."
"Just a little...weirded out, sir."
"Weirded out?"
"Yeah. By Daniel this morning and later Teal'c came to see me talking about...having children."
"Having children?"
"Yeah."
"Daniel came to my office; he kept asking if I was lonely...or something"
"Do you think they're ok? I mean maybe...something happened to them on our last mission."
"Like maybe their brains have been replaced? Well, we've been back for four days now, and we all checked out with the Doc."
"I know. But why are they acting so-"
"Weird? It couldn't hurt to suggest to General Hammond that they get checked out again. Under suspicion of brain swapping." The door opened, they said goodnight and went home.
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Teal'c and Daniel waited until the nurse left them alone in the infirmary before saying anything. They were each sitting on a bed facing each other "Ok, now what?"
"Do you not think that the plan is working?"
"I don't call being thoroughly examined because our friends think we're crazy or-or under the influence of some...sorta...alien-"
"I believe the term ColonelO'Neill used was: 'brain swapping'."
"working!"
"What do you propose we do now?"
"I don't know; maybe we should just leave well-enough alone." He gave a defeated sigh. "Unless..."
"Unless what DanielJackson?"
"We should apologize."
Teal'c raised an eyebrow.
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Daniel and Teal'c were supposed to meet Sam and Jack in Sam's lab at 1030 to discuss something Sam found in the soil samples, they were already waiting when Daniel and Teal'c arrived. "Hey guys." Daniel said treading softly.
"Daniel. Teal'c. How's it goin?"
"Well the doctor says we're fine. Look, we want to apologize for anything we said or did that was...really ...weird yesterday." Sam and Jack glanced at each other.
"Yeah?"
"See Teal'c and I just had a little...bet going."
"What kinda bet?"
"That doesn't really matter, it didn't really work, and anyway we're really very sorry for...all the...weirdness." Jack started to speak, but Daniel cut him off. "So to make up for it I was thinking we should all go to dinner, my treat." Sam and Jack just looked at each other.
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Jack was already waiting when Sam got there. It was a small Italian restaurant, the lights were dim and there was light music playing in the background. The place smelled like garlic and cheese. No sign of Daniel or Teal'c.
"Carter. Good evening."
"Hello sir, where's the guys?"
"No idea. Haven't gotten here yet, I guess." They waited for a minute. Little small talk. Jack got board. "Wanna sit and wait at the table?"
"Yeah" She nodded
"Excuse me; is there a reservation for Daniel Jackson?"
"Ah, yes sir. For two?"
"No, for four."
"No sir, the reservation is for two."
"Well, there's two more coming." Getting irritated.
"How about I sit you sir, and when the rest of your party arrives, we can move you to a larger table." Jack rolled his eyes.
"Fine." The hostess escorted them to a table. They sat down and she handed them a menu before walking away.
"So what do you think about this 'bet' between Teal'c and Daniel? What do you think it could be about?"
"I don't know, but it's the first thing he'll share with us when he finally gets here." Jack said half looking over his menu.
"And what could possibly have to do with having a child?"
"I don't seem lonely, do I?"
"I'm not too old to have a child."
"If I was lonely I would get a dog."
"It has nothing to do with finding a 'mate'"
"Dogs are great companions."
"If I really wanted to have a child, I don't need anyone."
Pause
"Do you really want to have a kid by yourself?" Sam looked up in surprise; she liked it better when they were ignoring what the other was saying.
"Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with a dog?" They both stopped. The conversation was bordering places they worked very hard to avoid.
"Where the hell is Daniel?!" Jack finally said.
"Maybe we should we call; make sure they're ok?" Jack nodded; Sam was reaching for her cell phone, just as the waitress came up to the table.
"Jack O'Neill?" She asked, holding a small envelop.
"Yes." He responded, a little suspiciously.
"This was dropped off for you, sir." She said, giving a small smile and handing the envelope to Jack before walking away. Jack looked over the envelope and opened it, inside was a small note and Daniel's credit card.
"Dear Jack, Sorry but Teal'c and I can't make it. Have fun. –Daniel." Jack finished, still looking at the note like it had to contain more answers somewhere.
"Oh, no." Sam said closing her eyes and dropping her head into her hand. "What?" Jack asked seeing that she had come to some conclusion that he was still searching for. Sam looked at him, with that "Don't you get it look." He just responded with "What!?"
"Sir, Daniel and Teal'c's weird behavior..." waiting, "Daniel's 'flirting', Teal'c talking about me ever having a child, Daniel talking with you about being lonely..." waiting, "sir, they didn't stand us up, they set us up." Light comes on.
"Are you ready to order?" The waitress came up, smiling.
"Uh, Could you...give us a minute? We just discovered...that we're on a...date."
"Alright," She said, giving them a funny look "I'll come back in a bit." Then walked away. They just sat there for a while, with the uncomfortable factor rising.
"I can't believe this."
"They blindsided us."
"We should have seen this coming."
Pause
"Maybe we didn't want to."
They both waited for the other to say something. "I think...I better go, um..." Sam mumbled as she began to stand. Jack rolled his eyes.
"Sam, sit down." She just looked at him. "Our two best friends are trying to tell us something. Maybe...we should listen." Sam thought about it for a moment. Jack just waited.
"Alright." She finally said looking at him. Jack nodded.
"Alright. First things first. I want you to find the most expensive item on the menu, and order three of it. Then find what you really want and order four of it..." She gave him a confused look. "If Daniel wants to pay, Daniel can pay." Jack said smiling triumphantly.
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Sam and Jack found Teal'c and Daniel in Daniel's office looking over some pictures that Daniel had taken of some ruins on their last mission. They just walked in and stood in front of them, Sam crossed her arms and Jack stuffed his hands in his pockets, as they just stared at their friends. "Hey guys," Daniel said when he noticed them. "Sorry about dinner, how was it?" He asked trying to sound casual. Sam and Jack just stared with a look that let Teal'c and Daniel know that they had an apology to make. "Right, look Teal'c and I just wanted to...help." Sam and Jack gave each other a look. "I'm sorry, but we just...we were trying..."
"As your friends, we wished to help you face your 'issues', in order for you to have a chance to be happy." Teal'c offered. Sam and Jack gave each other another look.
"Well, as your friend, I'm gonna ask if you two can avoid the set ups, huh?" Jack said handing Daniel the receipt from dinner then he and Sam turned to leave.
"Wait!" Daniel called. They stopped and looked back. "How did it go?" Sam and Jack looked at each other, smiled and walked out.
"Thanks for dinner Danny boy." Jack called back as they left, leaving a very perplexed Teal'c and Daniel.