Chapter 7: Mistaken Thoughts
By: iluvguygermaine00 & Cimmy
Author's Note: There are some sexual references in this chapter, but nothing detailed. Just a warning. Consider this as an R rated chapter.
Tino: No, a scheming Portman is never good, especially not when he's being all... evil and stuff. And just wait; there'll be more action for Guy pretty soon. Uh, yeah, and good luck with Adam!
Chelsea: Just hang on, because things will heat up because of the dirty, rotten bet in this very chapter. Oh, and cheesecake is disgusting, thank you for reminding me...
FlatOutCrazy: Guy is being stupid! But definitely not the stupidest, for once. And Luis is not going to be the villain, so you can just stay happy for a while longer!
Fulton's point of view
By: Cimmy
Portman is up to something. I know him well enough to understand that he's making plans. I don't know what they're regarding, but somehow I have the feeling that it has to do with that ridiculous bet he made with Adam and Ken. Adam told me about it, and Portman, being the most competitive idiot on the planet, is definitely expecting to win.
Instead of waiting for Portman to tear down the sky, I decide to go with Julie to see Mark. She was driving Charlie crazy with her cheering, so he begged me to go with her to Mark's performance. Guy is also tagging along, looking mischievous in his own sort of way.
"You've been awfully content lately," I tell him. "What's up? Did you get a free banana in the canteen?"
"No," he answers, shrugging. Julie leaps over some mud and contributes to the conversation in her own special way.
"A free T-shirt from Mark's band?" she wonders. Every sentence that comes out of her mouth has to contain the name 'Mark'. "A coffee mug with Mark on it? A CD made by Mark's band?"
"The girl keeps spinning, and the boy runs wild, will she ever get him, or will he get away?" I laugh, grinning at Julie. "You're the girl, Julie."
"Yeah, I sort of got that part," she mutters. "And I'm the wild one, not him. He can spin."
"I bet he can," I tilt my head towards her. "But how would you know?"
Guy clears his throat. "Could someone explain to me what you're talking about? What's with the whole chanting thing?" he demands to know. I just wave him off.
We walk in through the entrance, Julie brandishing her backstage pass in front of the guard's nose. Guy and I have to tear her away from there, before they arrest her for being annoying.
Once we've tugged her into the concert area, she immediately begins looking for Mark. "They should be performing over there," she shouts, making people turn to stare. We stare back until they feel intimidated. "Over there!"
"Yes, we heard you," I mutter, rolling my eyes at Guy. He snickers, pulling Julie down from the bench she is standing on. "What's the name of his band again?"
"Can't remember," Julie cheers. "Oh, look, a flyer!"
Julie runs off to chase a piece of paper. She reminds me of a cat. Ha, Julie the Cat! Eh, yeah... "Lethal Cause," Guy muttered next to me.
"What?"
"The band is named Lethal Cause. But don't tell Julie that. She'll freak out."
"She already is," I snicker, watching Julie jump right into a pile of mud, splashing dirt all over the people standing next to her. We both go over to save her from being strangled. I hope we find Mark soon, or I'll kill her myself.
Luis's POV
By: iluvguygermaine00
Waking up Charlie with Catalina this morning was fun. But I didn't do it for my amusement…well not completely anyway. She looked like she needed cheering up.
Everyone knows that Catalina knows how to hide her feelings, well. But there was a look in her eyes when she came out of the tent this morning. Emptiness.
Yes, I know, I'm not the greatest person to tell how people are feeling. But it's different with Catalina. There's something about her. Like, I can read how's she's feeling. I've never been able to do that with any other person, let alone a girl.
Why do I have this sudden urge to be there for her? She's nice to everyone, besides the occasional outburst, but who doesn't have one? She's hyper, most of the time, and seems over up-beat and happy…But this morning, she seems down. Like she had been hit by a bus or something.
I try and convince her to come with me, Charlie, and Samantha down to the festival, but she refuses.
I have to admit, I think I'm starting to have feelings for Catalina, maybe not a crush, but the feeling that she needs me. But it isn't a small thing, like a fling (hey that rhymed!) it's more than that. But I'm going to take it slow, to become her friend, more than I already am. Even if she won't admit it, she's vulnerable and I don't want her thinking that I'm trying to take advantage of her…that's not what I want her to do, I want her to trust me.
We find Julie and she's staring at Lethal Cause, Mark's band. I actually really like the song they're singing. It isn't really hard rock, come to think of it, it isn't really rock at all, probably just something they thought of…
I dig my toes into the sand.
The ocean looks like a thousand diamonds strewn across a blue blanket.
I lean against the wind, pretend that I am weightless and in this moment I am happy.
I wish you were here
I wish you were here
I wish you were here
I wish you were here.
I lay my head onto the sand.
The sky resembles a backlit canopy with holes punched in it.
I'm counting ufo's.
I signal them with my lighter
And in this moment I am happy, happy.
I wish you were here.
I wish you were here.
I wish you were here.
I wish you were here.
The world's a roller coaster and I am not strapped in.
Maybe I should hold with care, but my hands are busy in the air.
I wish you were here.
I wish you were here.
I wish you were here.
I wish you were here.
Charlie's POV
This trip is going to hell! Nobody seems happy!…okay, so the majority of us is happy and I'm exaggerating, a lot. Come to think of it, Catalina's the only one who doesn't seem happy. But whatever. The girl is way too much for me to handle. She woke me up; early…I bet it was her idea, too.
Adam's POV
I'm having a lot of fun on this trip. I have a bet with Ken and Portman…but pff, I'm here to have a good time. If I find a girl, then I do…If I don't, I don't. Where was I…a good time, right? That's why I got us these tickets, because I really wanted to go.
So, here we are, at the festival…again. I came with Ken and that girl…Katie, that's her name. But they get boring. So I leave them for Charlie, Luis, Fulton, Guy and Samantha and end up hanging out with them for the rest of the night. It's sort of weird, in a way. It's like none of them are actually here…like in their heads…no physically you freak! Of coarse they're here physically…never mind. Charlie seems aggravated about something. Luis is thinking really hard, which normally isn't a good thing. And Guy and Samantha are both acting strange. He seems to be trying to talk to her, but Samantha seems very uninterested. Maybe it's because she's the only girl right now, maybe she's feeling left out. Julie's with Mark, Catalina refused to come, according to Luis, and Connie was with Fred the last time I saw them…why, I don't know. Girls are complicated…well our 4 girls are. I love them and everything, but they should really be more readable…I should be able to tell what they're thinking, like I can with most of the guys, especially Guy.
Julie's POV
Mark's great.
Connie's POV
Fred's great. He's a really good kisser.
Catalina's POV
What am I doing…?
Samantha's POV
Does Guy ever shut-up? Just leave me alone, dammit! Can't you see the expression on my face…I don't care!
Why am I falling for him…why couldn't it be someone quiet…someone like…Adam!…well maybe not but, oh well.
Catalina's point of view
By: Cimmy
Even though I liked terrorizing Charlie this morning, I still feel sad because of the breakup. Fred always does this. He gets into trouble, and then he wants me to forgive him. But he's never cheated on me, ever. That's why it feels so bad right now, despite the fact that I'm not sure if something really happened.
Yes, okay, I was the one breaking up with him, but I found him in bed with one of my closest friends. Or in the sleeping-bag, tent, whatever. How could he do that to me? And Connie? I thought she was my friend!
Luis is being surprisingly understanding, I figured he'd take Connie's side. But of course, he's not really that sure something happened between her and my boyfriend either. I guess I always thought of Luis as someone you couldn't cry out with. Not that I was crying, I'd never do such a thing. I just told him that I felt awful, and he spent the morning trying to entertain me.
Now I'm alone again. Luis decided to go see some performance with some rock band. Jeez, at a rock festival? Who would've known? He tried to get me to tag along with him, Charlie, Adam and Samantha, but I wasn't in a very partying mood.
"Hey, babe!"
Oh, no. It's Portman. He's been following me around all day, wanting me to keep him company on his adventures. Why? Why me?! Argh!
"Hi, dude," I mutter, throwing a quick glimpse at him. "What's up now? I won't go with you to the girls' bathroom, alluring innocent young girls into your nasty arms."
"Hey, it was just a suggestion!" he laughs. "We could go somewhere else."
"What about Fulton? Ken? Julie? Anyone but me?"
"Fulton left me all by myself. And you're the only one here! Suffer!"
"Oh, believe me, I am!" I growl.
Portman is like a band-aid on me. He just won't leave me alone. Should I be flattered or something? No! He's just messing with me! While he's bringing me along to the beer-tents, which I am still too young to enter, I try to come up with a plan to sneak away. Portman is scary when he's nice and sweet. And if he treats you to stuff? Run, girl, run!
"You want something?" he asks for the hundredth time. I've turned him down every time, but he still doesn't quit. He's persistent; I have to give him that.
"For the last time, Dean. I'm not allowed to go in, I'm not 18!"
"Don't call me that," he mutters, and this is the first time he actually sounds irritated with me. Usually I drive him crazy just by my presence. Then he suddenly changes his attitude again and grins. "You want a burrito?" He's so freaking me out right now.
While he tries to convince the bouncers that I am in fact 18, I sneak away back to the tents. I'm just about to turn the corner, when I see Connie over by the canteen. She's sitting on one of the tables, counting money. Fred is there too, leaning over her hand, like he's trying to help her count. This makes my heart break.
I thought I was his everything. I thought I meant everything to him. And now he doesn't love me at all. His eyes are focused on Connie, like he's never really cared about me at all. I used to be the object of his affection, and now I'm forgotten. Just like that. I should be the content one, since I dumped him. But I'm the miserable one. The cheated one. The loser.
Connie looks around, and I hide behind one of the benches. Then she leans closer, and kisses Fred. Not just a peck on the lips, but a real kiss. Like she's trying to suck the life out of him. Maybe not, but it still makes me want to throw up. Fred slips his arms around her waist, and they keep kissing, right there in front of everyone.
Fred doesn't care about me anymore. His attention is directed towards someone else now. And suddenly Portman's efforts to get my attention don't seem so bad. At least he knows I'm alive.
I could need some attention. Now when I'm all alone again.
Portman's point of view
I don't really know what I did to win that girl over to my side, but it must've been my charming behavior. She agreed to let me get her into the beer tent, and honestly, I didn't think it was going to be this easy to win that bet...
Catalina is hammered. I almost feel bad for what I'm about to do. She is after all a friend of mine. A fellow Duck, and I don't know why I so desperately need to win this bet.
Actually, I can't really remember what the rules were. I know that I have to sleep with her, and right now, that's easy. But for the other parts? Uh, what were they again? Getting her to like me? Well, I can't say that I think she's going to be all that happy if I sleep with her. That would definitely bring down the liking-part.
This also means that I have to admit to Adam and Ken that I slept with her. They won't like that either. They'll probably tell everyone here, and also everyone at home when we get back. Am I really this eager to lose all of my friends' trust, just because of a bet?
What the hell, it's just a stupid bet, right? No one said anything about who you had to be with!
Catalina is still drinking quite heavily, and I'm not all that sober either. It makes the guilt go away, at least some.
"You know," I begin. "You don't have to feel down because of Fred. He's just a guy, guys do stupid things."
I haven't told her that I know that Fred slept with Connie. I thought I could save that for when the situation craves it. I can be her shoulder to cry on. I think.
"I'm still not sad about him," Catalina slurs. I haven't seen her this drunk in a very long time. When I come to think of it, I don't think I've ever seen her drunk. I've just heard tales about it.
"No, of course not," I snort, moving closer. I'm the worst guy in the world, and I know how to pull it off. It's like I said to Fred before; I need the thrill of just doing wrong, and I know how to do it without letting my conscious get in the way. So sue me!
Catalina sighs loudly and gazes out through the tent opening. I quickly shove her towards the other side of the tent, so she won't get any ideas about leaving.
Instead of leaving, she lies down next to me, with her feet in my lap. "I hope I can stay here for a while," she murmurs. "I really don't have anywhere else to go anymore."
I wish everything could be this easy.
Catalina's point of view
I don't know what I'm doing. I rarely do. I just know that it feels good to not be completely alone. Portman is somehow the person I need right now.
"So, what's the deal with you and Fred anyway?" he asks, taking my bottle of life-saving vodka away. That's mine! Okay, he got it for me, but still...
"Nothing," I answer shortly. I can't say much, my mouth can't get the words out correctly.
"You wanna have revenge on him, don't you?"
"No," I say. I don't think so. I mean, I'm not completely sure about him sleeping with Connie yet. I just know that he kissed her. That was a very low thing to do, by the way.
"You know what would be an awesome revenge?"
"What?"
Portman grins at me and hands back the bottle. I take another huge sip, even though I'm already so wasted that I can't even feel my legs. "If you find some guy, and went with him. Right in front of Fred's nose. Or right under his nose, you're kind of short, babe."
I rub my eyes, trying to get that dizzy feeling to leave my body. What's he doing?
"Yeah," I agree. I am short, but what's that got to do with this? Portman leans into my face, putting his hand behind my head. Then he brings me closer, giving me a kiss. One of those soft kisses that Fred used to give me when I was feeling sad. I thought I'd never be kissed like that again.
Now I'm so clueless that I barely pay attention to what's going on. It's Portman, right? Not some stranger. He won't do me any harm; he'll make sure I'll be okay, right? It's only Portman.
His hands begin to wander all over my body, and he pushes me onto my back. This feels weird. I should squirm my way out of here before I end up in trouble. But somehow his arms seem like the safest place to be in right now. Everyone else just stabs me in the back. At least Portman's intentions are clear.
"You know, this is just how to handle revenge," he mumbles into my ear. I'm not so sure he's being upfront with me. He just seems very... aroused right now.
"Wait," I say, shoving him away. "Wait!"
"What? I thought this was what you wanted," he replies. "Come here, honey."
I hate when he calls me babe and honey. It makes me feel inadequate. "Okay..." I whisper, still not sure about what's going on. Portman lowers himself onto me again and continues to kiss me. Over my neck, cheek, down over my shoulder, over my collar bone and then back to my mouth. I wrap my arms around his neck and try to just go with the flow.
Portman is quite heavy, being on top of me like this. I accidentally dig my finger-nails into his shoulder, but he doesn't seem to notice. He removes my sweater, and I just let him. I'm not doing anything; I just let him take the lead. That's not a recommended thing to do, but I'm stupid.
I squeal with pain when he puts his knee on my thigh, so I quickly spread my legs to avoid getting kneeled again. He just continues to remove my clothing, kissing me everywhere he can reach. He seems content that I allowed him to make himself comfortable between my legs, instead of lying on top of them. Well, I'm here to please, obviously...
My hands keep squeezing his back, and my nails dig even deeper into his skin. I try to avoid doing that, since it must hurt, but he doesn't seem to care at all. Maybe he's used to doing things rough? I'm not, and he's not being very careful with me. That's why I keep pressing my fingers into his back.
It's some sort of mixed feeling of pain and pleasure. It hurts, but somehow it evens out in the end. I hope. I just can't stand it if this is how it's going to feel when it's all over and done with. It can't be this bad, can it?
Then I can't remember much more. Just a very intense feeling that I've made a mistake. That I'm making a mistake right now. Portman is nothing like Fred was, he used to kiss me lovingly, soft. Portman's kisses are hungry, rough, demanding. I'm not used to that.
I'm a very tiny person compared to Portman, or anyone. If he wants, he could probably do whatever he pleases with me, but he doesn't. I should give him some credit, he's not a monster. I'm confused, and he's... well, horny.
I don't have the might to bring myself to speak up. I'm just not that type of person. Fred used to tell me that I'm a real pushover, even though I stand my ground. What's that supposed to mean?
My hangover is the one thing that strikes me first. Not my pounding heart or the lack of air. Somewhere between being kissed by Portman and now, I suddenly sobered up. I whimper when I feel my head ache. My whole body is tense because of the damn alcohol. Or maybe because of something else, but I really don't need to know from what right now.
"What happened?" I ask, putting my hands in front of my face. I feel Portman move somewhere next to me, but he doesn't answer. "Hello?"
"I heard you," he mutters. My, he's grumpy after sex. I should be too, but my head is killing me.
"So?"
"Go back to sleep," he instructs me. I crawl up into a ball, fighting the urge to kick him someplace important. And now the panic strikes. What the hell did I do?! And most important; what the hell did he do to me? He took advantage of me while I was drunk. That's not very nice!
I gasp for air and sit up. "Oh my God," I wince quietly. "What happened?"
This is not a very nice feeling. He slept with me, and I have no idea what he did to me. Did he at least use a condom? Or am I just screwed completely? I'm the biggest idiot in the world. A moron. It's all my fault for falling for his lame tricks. I should've known this was what he wanted the whole time!
"Calm down," he says, turning to face me. Now he sounds worried, probably because he doesn't want me to freak out, so the others will find out. "You're just as responsible for this, babe."
"How could you do that?" I mumble. "When you knew I was drunk? When you knew I was hurt and vulnerable?"
"Hey," he begins, but I freak out before he can continue.
"I'm only sixteen, you jerk. What you did is a felony!"
"Look, don't get all worked up..."
"You're eighteen, you should know better!" I shout, and he starts to move around.
"Be quiet!" he tells me. "You're going to be seventeen in just a few months."
"But I'm still just sixteen!" I bellow and try to find my clothes. I'm sore from his treatment, and suddenly I just get the urge to hit something. Instead I start to cry, which seems to scare him.
Portman quickly rises to his knees, putting a hand over my mouth. "Okay, okay, Catalina, calm down! Shush," he mumbles. He actually called me by my real name? I must've scared the hell out of him. "I'm sorry you're upset. You want me to..."
I push him away. "Get off me! I don't want you to do anything to me! You've done enough." I'm so shaken up that I can't think straight. I put on my clothes, while Portman's trying to excuse himself. Although I find his excuses very lame, since he sounds really uninterested. This is just another thing he can add to his resume. I'm just another girl in his collection.
My lips are sore too, I don't know if it's because of his violent kisses, or because I bit my lip while he was... hurting me, which would be the expression to use, I guess.
He grabs me before I can escape out from the tent. "Look, we both made some mistakes," he says slowly. "This shouldn't destroy our friendship."
"You ass!" I exclaim and shove my hands into his chest. He stumbles backwards and I can finally get out of there.
What do I do now? I have no place to go.
I guess I have to sleep outside, in the dirt. Just because Portman is such a disloyal friend, and I'm the most naive person in the whole entire world. And the stupidest.
This is all my fault, really.
Author's Note: Lyrics belong to Incubus, the song is called Wish You Were Here.