Disclaimer: Keptin! There ees a large sign floatink in space! Eet says i-am-
bug does note own Stair Trek. Or lizards. And Keptin, eet es coming toward
us et awesome speds! Eet-
Crash.
A/N: Hee hee. Read and review. And know that no lizards were harmed in the making of this story.
A/N2: To all of you sad, depressed, there-aren't-enough-Scotty-stories Scotty fans out there coughPeterPreston/BookeyHooper/PenguinQueen, I have added Scotty to this story. Enjoy.
*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*
Reviewer Replies
Kame-Sama: Turtles? Cool. Actually, I don't think I know that song...
Penguin Queen otherwise known as Peter Preston otherwise known as Bookay Hooper: You can cross your heart, hope to die, but don't spend another month out there! And now Scotty IS INCLUDED. Feel happy. I'm not a Scotty hater! And sorry, I keep forgetting about that momentary lapse of logic. Though I did have one a few days ago.
Lady Chekov: Ooh, wow, I've been complimented! Thankee! And now I've brought on chapter 2!
Sunny-historian: Arrgh! Another Scotty fan! Well, Scotty has now been inculded. Read on.
*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*
LIZARDS OUTSIDE THE BUN
Chapter Two ~~~ Names
*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*
That hour passed very quickly. It seemed that in no time the contestants were taking their lizards from Sulu and Chekov. The Lizards Outside the Bun Police were making sure Kirk, Spock, McCoy, Uhura, Ensigns Roberts and Silver, and Lieutenant Gopher were handling their lizards correctly.
Chekov, who was acting as a Lizards Outside the Bun Policeman, caught Lieutenant Gopher right away. He was holding the lizard between his thumb and forefinger and eyeing it skeptically.
That was one man down.
~~("There are women here too!" Silver and Uhura complained to the author.
"But it's not a woman down," the author explained. "If one of you had handled a lizard wrong it would be one woman down."
"But that sounds sexist!" they both said.
"I'M female. And I'm the one writing this story."
"Can you just say 'one contestant down'?" Uhura asked.
"Okay, okay," the author said, changing the text.)~~
That was one contestant down.
Six more to go. Well, five more, because someone would have to win.
Roberts produced a conveniently placed lizard cage. "Go in there, Fred," he urged. Silver, who was his friend, looked at him strangely.
"Fred?" she asked.
"I don't know, it looks like a Fred."
"Isn't your brother called Fred?"
"Uh..."
Sulu began to speak. "You can go now. Just make sure that lizard stays happy and healthy. The Lizards Outside the Bun Police will come around every day to check on the lizard. Have fun!"
As the seven competitors left, Chekov turned to Sulu.
"Vell, ve thought outside the bun."
"This should be interesting," Sulu agreed. Or at least he thought he was agreeing. He wasn't quite sure what Chekov had meant by his comment.
"See you later," Chekov said, and left.
*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*
Kirk carried his lizard to his cabin, ignoring the strange looks he got as he passed through the corridors. He even ignored the "Why is the captain carrying a lizard around?" "I dunno, maybe it's his new girlfriend..." he got from a few red-shirts.
But, somehow his mind connected that comment with the fact that his lizard needed a name. She (yes, Kirk had decided his lizard was female. He wasn't completely sure, though) should have a good lizard name.
Scaley? No, not a nice enough name.
Caroline? Not a lizardy enough name.
Then it hit him. It hit him like a doorframe (actually, he had been so deep in thought that he HAD banged into a doorframe).
Lizzie.
He finally made it passed the door and into his room, where he got a lizard cage out of a conveniently placed slot-that-stuff-comes-out-of in the wall.
Lizzie.
*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*
It's very difficult to have an animal in your care that you don't give some kind of name. McCoy found this out soon enough. He had brought his lizard to his room, and got a lizard cage from the conveniently placed slot-that- stuff-comes-out-of.
"In the cage, Bobo," he said, wondering just where the name 'Bobo' had come from.
Finally he decided it was a bad name, and that his lizard needed a good name. But he was stuck on Bobo. The lizard FELT like a Bobo. And McCoy couldn't fight his feelings. They were, after all, illogical.
So Bobo it was.
*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*
Spock didn't have that problem. In his mind, he simply thought of the lizard as 'the lizard' or 'the specimen' or something like that. It was, after all, logical.
*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*
Uhura looked at her lizard and giggled. It was so CUTE! The lizard blinked at her lazily.
"Oh, you cutie," she said. "Actually, that's what I'll call you. Cutie."
Cutie it was.
*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*
Ensign Silver was different from all of the others. She decided to think about the name first. Not the way Kirk had. She felt the lizard needed a good name. Or no name at all.
Or No Name.
She brought No Name, who was sitting in her palm, up to eye-level. "You are No Name from now on," she said seriously.
No Name sat there. Silver smiled.
*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*
"Uh, Chekov?" Sulu asked a bit later.
"Vhat?"
"Mr. Scott wants a lizard. Apparently he was too busy with his 'wee bairns' to write a note, but..."
"It's your contest," Chekov pointed out.
"Yeah..."
"End this should be intairesting."
"Hmm," Sulu though this over for a minute. (Go away, Spock. I know it wasn't a full minute. It's an expression.) There really wouldn't be any harm in letting the Chief Engineer join the competition. They DID have an extra lizard. "Okay."
"Vell, go tell him."
*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*
Sorry, that was a really short chapter. Three should be up soon. Find out the fate of the lizards. AND REVIEW!
----\==/
Look! A lizard! It's supposed to be a lizard, anyway.
^_^
Review!
Crash.
A/N: Hee hee. Read and review. And know that no lizards were harmed in the making of this story.
A/N2: To all of you sad, depressed, there-aren't-enough-Scotty-stories Scotty fans out there coughPeterPreston/BookeyHooper/PenguinQueen, I have added Scotty to this story. Enjoy.
*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*
Reviewer Replies
Kame-Sama: Turtles? Cool. Actually, I don't think I know that song...
Penguin Queen otherwise known as Peter Preston otherwise known as Bookay Hooper: You can cross your heart, hope to die, but don't spend another month out there! And now Scotty IS INCLUDED. Feel happy. I'm not a Scotty hater! And sorry, I keep forgetting about that momentary lapse of logic. Though I did have one a few days ago.
Lady Chekov: Ooh, wow, I've been complimented! Thankee! And now I've brought on chapter 2!
Sunny-historian: Arrgh! Another Scotty fan! Well, Scotty has now been inculded. Read on.
*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*
LIZARDS OUTSIDE THE BUN
Chapter Two ~~~ Names
*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*
That hour passed very quickly. It seemed that in no time the contestants were taking their lizards from Sulu and Chekov. The Lizards Outside the Bun Police were making sure Kirk, Spock, McCoy, Uhura, Ensigns Roberts and Silver, and Lieutenant Gopher were handling their lizards correctly.
Chekov, who was acting as a Lizards Outside the Bun Policeman, caught Lieutenant Gopher right away. He was holding the lizard between his thumb and forefinger and eyeing it skeptically.
That was one man down.
~~("There are women here too!" Silver and Uhura complained to the author.
"But it's not a woman down," the author explained. "If one of you had handled a lizard wrong it would be one woman down."
"But that sounds sexist!" they both said.
"I'M female. And I'm the one writing this story."
"Can you just say 'one contestant down'?" Uhura asked.
"Okay, okay," the author said, changing the text.)~~
That was one contestant down.
Six more to go. Well, five more, because someone would have to win.
Roberts produced a conveniently placed lizard cage. "Go in there, Fred," he urged. Silver, who was his friend, looked at him strangely.
"Fred?" she asked.
"I don't know, it looks like a Fred."
"Isn't your brother called Fred?"
"Uh..."
Sulu began to speak. "You can go now. Just make sure that lizard stays happy and healthy. The Lizards Outside the Bun Police will come around every day to check on the lizard. Have fun!"
As the seven competitors left, Chekov turned to Sulu.
"Vell, ve thought outside the bun."
"This should be interesting," Sulu agreed. Or at least he thought he was agreeing. He wasn't quite sure what Chekov had meant by his comment.
"See you later," Chekov said, and left.
*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*
Kirk carried his lizard to his cabin, ignoring the strange looks he got as he passed through the corridors. He even ignored the "Why is the captain carrying a lizard around?" "I dunno, maybe it's his new girlfriend..." he got from a few red-shirts.
But, somehow his mind connected that comment with the fact that his lizard needed a name. She (yes, Kirk had decided his lizard was female. He wasn't completely sure, though) should have a good lizard name.
Scaley? No, not a nice enough name.
Caroline? Not a lizardy enough name.
Then it hit him. It hit him like a doorframe (actually, he had been so deep in thought that he HAD banged into a doorframe).
Lizzie.
He finally made it passed the door and into his room, where he got a lizard cage out of a conveniently placed slot-that-stuff-comes-out-of in the wall.
Lizzie.
*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*
It's very difficult to have an animal in your care that you don't give some kind of name. McCoy found this out soon enough. He had brought his lizard to his room, and got a lizard cage from the conveniently placed slot-that- stuff-comes-out-of.
"In the cage, Bobo," he said, wondering just where the name 'Bobo' had come from.
Finally he decided it was a bad name, and that his lizard needed a good name. But he was stuck on Bobo. The lizard FELT like a Bobo. And McCoy couldn't fight his feelings. They were, after all, illogical.
So Bobo it was.
*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*
Spock didn't have that problem. In his mind, he simply thought of the lizard as 'the lizard' or 'the specimen' or something like that. It was, after all, logical.
*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*
Uhura looked at her lizard and giggled. It was so CUTE! The lizard blinked at her lazily.
"Oh, you cutie," she said. "Actually, that's what I'll call you. Cutie."
Cutie it was.
*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*
Ensign Silver was different from all of the others. She decided to think about the name first. Not the way Kirk had. She felt the lizard needed a good name. Or no name at all.
Or No Name.
She brought No Name, who was sitting in her palm, up to eye-level. "You are No Name from now on," she said seriously.
No Name sat there. Silver smiled.
*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*
"Uh, Chekov?" Sulu asked a bit later.
"Vhat?"
"Mr. Scott wants a lizard. Apparently he was too busy with his 'wee bairns' to write a note, but..."
"It's your contest," Chekov pointed out.
"Yeah..."
"End this should be intairesting."
"Hmm," Sulu though this over for a minute. (Go away, Spock. I know it wasn't a full minute. It's an expression.) There really wouldn't be any harm in letting the Chief Engineer join the competition. They DID have an extra lizard. "Okay."
"Vell, go tell him."
*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*
Sorry, that was a really short chapter. Three should be up soon. Find out the fate of the lizards. AND REVIEW!
----\==/
Look! A lizard! It's supposed to be a lizard, anyway.
^_^
Review!