Warning- This is a slash (guy on guy) and I don't own South Park.
Another Warning: uh there's more cutting so yeah sorry if you don't like it.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!
Chapter 2
Damien didn't leave my side last night. He was afraid I'd try to cut again. I didn't mind. I didn't feel lonely. So when I woke up the next morning, I wasn't shocked to find Damien next to me. I was shocked to notice that he was spooning with me. I gasped in shock.
"You ok, Pip?" He asked me, groggily.
"Y-Yeah, just a tad startled." I say and sigh. "Go back to sleep. It's only 10 in the morning on a Saturday." I say.
"Naw, I'm up." He says. he sits up and stretches. I look up at his chest and I feel a smile creep up on me. He isn't muscular, but he wasn't scrawny, like me. He had scars all over his body. The smile went away. I noticed a scar that read, "Why?!" and I reached out and touched it. He flinched.
"Is that from cutting." I ask. He nodded. I have a few scars like that where they say things like, 'Hate' or 'Die.'
"Gross, isn't it?" He asks.
"No, it's just disturbing." I say, looking away from it.
"See, that's why you shouldn't cut. You get shit like this on your body for life." He says.
I look away. "I'm realy sorry, Damien. I couldn't help it! I was so..." I start but he pressed a finger to my lips.
"Hush. You don't need to explain. I know how it is. I'm just worried that you might go overboard and bleed to death." He says and sighs. "I just don't want you to end up like Layne." He finishes. Layne was Damien's first real boyfriend. He was a cutter also and one day he and Damien got into a fight. That night he cut so far and deep that he bled to death that night. It wasn't a suside, he just wanted the pain to go away.
"I promise you I won't be like Layne." I assure him.
"You better not or I'll go down to Hell and kick your ass." He jokes.
I looked up at him. "Do you ever visit Layne, sometimes?" I ask.
"No I can't do that to myself. Hell isn't a playground, Pip. It's the worst place ever." He says.
"No shit, sherlock." I say.
He rolls his eyes. "If I saw the shit that there doing to Layne, I'd problily lose it. And then Dad'll kick my ass and then it wouldn't be a pretty picture." The black-haired boy says.
I look up at him and just gock at his beauty. The way he's sitting just does something to me. It makes me want to...Touch him, have him touch me. I want him to kiss my pain away. But I know it's not possible. No one can take away the pain in me. I feel the tears spring to my eyes. I sit up and swing my legs off the bed. I feel Damien's hand squeeze my shoulder. I look back. "What?" I ask. I feel the tears ready to flow.
"What's wrong?" He asks me. Damn, how the hell does he know something's wrong?
"Nothing." I reply. I go to get up and he holds me down.
"Pip, I know when you like and when something is bothering you, so just 'fess up." He says.
"I'M FINE!!" I yell in anger. I recoil. Shit-damnit. I sigh and get back into bed. "I just wish I could get this pain to go away. I've tried to everything." I confess.
"You haven't tried everything, I have. Only one thing worked for me." He says.
My eyes brightened. "What was it." I say, my voice full of hope.
Damien kissed my forehead. "I made a friend and it made me happy. I wasn't lonely anymore and the urge to cut went away." He says and puts his arm around me.
"You're being pretty affectionate toward me. You're making me worry." I joke.
"Eh, I'm just happy and I'm worried about you." He says.
For some reason, when I looked into his eyes, they made me cave in and I started to cry. I'm so fortunate to have him. I have the best friend ever. "Damien, your too good for me." I cry into his chest.
"I think it's the other way around, Blondie." He says and chuckles. I continue to cry into his chest, and the conforting thing was that he let me.
!!!!!!!!!
I love rainy days. I guess it reminds me of England. I was so angry when my parents told me we where moving to America. Every bad thing I was told about it was true. Not only did they kill my parents by their insane drivers but they all hate me. Everyone in this town wants to see me dead. The sad thing is that I didn't do anything but come from England and have a funny accent.
Damien and I decided to go to Stark's Pond. It seemed fun. It actually was. We went and hung out on the swings. I never knew that you could slide so quickly off them things. Well everything was fun, till we ran into Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Eric up there.
"Damn, we can't go anywhere with out seeing you douche bags. Get out of here. We wanna swing." Stan says. Kyle gripped his hand and looked down at his feet. Kyle and I had a fling a while back. It was obvious that he still likes me.
"Come on Damien. We don't need this shit." I say, turning to him.
"Yeah, get out of here, you fag-bags. No offence to Stan and Kyle." Kenny muffles though his hood.
"None taken, McCormick." Kyle says.
Damien had the fire in his eyes. "Take this!" He yells and Kenny flew into a tree and it fell over on him.
"OH MY GOD! YOU KILLED KENNY!" I yell
"Hey bastard! That's my line." Stan shoots at me.
I look down at my feet. "Sorry." I say.
"Hey! I need to give you a beatdown." Eric says and walks up to me. He raises his fist to me and I wince. It must be 11:38. God, every day. How do I manage this shit.
Damien stepped in front of me. I look up and smile. "Touch him and I will kill you. Don't think I'm afraid? Then you are one crazy motherfucker." Damien says.
"Damien, Let's just go. I don't want to start anything." I say.
"Yeah! Listen to your boyfriend, Gothy." Kyle says.
"Fuck you, Jew. Come on Pip." He says. He grabs my wrist and yanks me with him. We head back to the main road and head home. "I need a cigarette after that." He says.
"I thought you quit?" I ask.
"That doesn't mean I don't want one." He snapped.
I lowered my head. "Sorry, I didn't know." I say.
He looks over at me and brushes away a strand of soaking blond hair from my face. "You don't have anything to be sorry about, so why are you?" He asked me.
"I'm sorry about the park. I didn't know that that was gonna happen." I say.
"That shit's gonna happen when you are the most hated people in South Park." He says.
"Why can't they leave us alone? We didn't do anything to them, well I didn't." I say, with a smile.
"Hey, they deserved it. It was my duty to burn down their playground equipment and turn Kenny into a Duck Billed Platypus." He says and we both laugh.
"You did go a little far by turning me into a firecracker." I inform him.
"Eh, back then I just wanted to belong, now I just want to be with you." He says. My heart skips a beat.
I blush. "Stop that. You've been doing that for two days. You need to get laid." I joke.
He doesn't smile. "That's not my problem." He replies and walks faster.
"Damien, What's wrong?" I ask.
"Nothing, I don't feel like talking right now." He says. I had to run to be back next to him.
"But..." I start, but he cut in.
"Hey, just go home. I've gotta go talk to Dad for awhile. I'll be back later. If you're hungry, there's leftover pizza in the fridge." He says. He stomps three times on the ground. A crack formed on the ground and widens. "See you at home, babe, and be safe." He says.
"Ok, you too." I say and he jumps into the crack. The crack seals up and it looks like no one was even there. I sigh and walk home. Ok, right now I hate the rain.
!!!!!!!!!!
At home, I went to my room and laid down on my bed. I put in Damien's Marilyn Manson cd and close my eyes. I felt like crying. I hate be hated so much. It's so strange. I feel so alone without Damien. It's like he has the better of me. I look over at my nightstand. Should I? God, I want to cut so bad. Make it realy deep. Deeper than I could ever get. I open the drawer and I pick up the small knife. I dip it in my water and scrub off the dried blood from last time. I take off my shirt and look at the ones I did the other day. They're so gross and disgusting. But I remember how good it felt to take everything out on myself.
I carved a "D." Damien's gonna kill me.
"A." It feels so good
"M." Ow! That one hurt.
"I." Ok I want to stop. I look down at it. Well it would look stupid if I don't finish it.
"E." I shut my eyes and fight back the tears.
"N." I sigh and wipe my eyes. That hurt like hell.
"Pip! I'm home!" I hear. Shit! I gotta get cleaned up. I lounge for the door and lock it. Bullocks, I'm so dizzy. I grab the towel on my floor and have it sop up my blood. The door handle shakes. "What's wrong? Why is the door locked." Damien asks. I look down. Good, the bleeding has stopped. I throw on my shirt and throw the towel and knife in my closet.
I go over to the door and open it. "Can't a man jerk off in peace." I say. I sway a bit. I feel like I'm gonna pass out.
"Who where you thinking about." He asks, with a smile.
"That is strictly confidential." I joke. He laughs. "Why did you see your dad." I ask.
"Well that's strictly confidential." He says. His eyes went from soft to angry in a flash of a second. "You where cutting yourself." He says.
"No I wasn't." I say.
"Now are you gonna stand there and lie to me?" Damien yells. He looks down at me. "YOU'RE BLEEDING! GOD DAMNIT PHILIP!" He screams. He's pissed. He called me by my full name. "You told me you'd stop! I can't take this." He says and turns away from me. Holy shit, he's shaking!
"How did you know?" I asked.
"You have blood all over your bed." He says. I go to touch him and he jumps away. "Don't touch me! Why the fuck did you do it this time?" He asked.
"I can't tell you that." I say, looking down at my feet.
He lifts my chin so that he can look me in the eyes. "Was it about the thing with Cartman and his group?" He asked me.
I broke away from his stare. I know I'll cave in if I look into his eyes. "I told you; I can't tell you that." I say, louder.
"Whatever." He says and stomps toward the door. "I'll be back later." He says and leaves with the slam of the door. Ok, I realy need to stop cutting.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !
Author's Note: Wow my 2nd chapter already! I'm good at this. I was inspired and so I kept writing. Do you like the direction this is going in? I don't want to rush Pip and Damien's love yet. I want it to be dark and angsty, and you know what, I've succeeded. I already know that I'm gonna make a lemon scene WAY later in the story. LOL. I'm such a sick pervert as my friends tell me. Is the cutting thing with Pip a bit too much and I should tune it down or does it add to the drama? I don't know, some one throw me a freaking bone here lol. Well I'm gonna go, Later.
Another Warning: uh there's more cutting so yeah sorry if you don't like it.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!
Chapter 2
Damien didn't leave my side last night. He was afraid I'd try to cut again. I didn't mind. I didn't feel lonely. So when I woke up the next morning, I wasn't shocked to find Damien next to me. I was shocked to notice that he was spooning with me. I gasped in shock.
"You ok, Pip?" He asked me, groggily.
"Y-Yeah, just a tad startled." I say and sigh. "Go back to sleep. It's only 10 in the morning on a Saturday." I say.
"Naw, I'm up." He says. he sits up and stretches. I look up at his chest and I feel a smile creep up on me. He isn't muscular, but he wasn't scrawny, like me. He had scars all over his body. The smile went away. I noticed a scar that read, "Why?!" and I reached out and touched it. He flinched.
"Is that from cutting." I ask. He nodded. I have a few scars like that where they say things like, 'Hate' or 'Die.'
"Gross, isn't it?" He asks.
"No, it's just disturbing." I say, looking away from it.
"See, that's why you shouldn't cut. You get shit like this on your body for life." He says.
I look away. "I'm realy sorry, Damien. I couldn't help it! I was so..." I start but he pressed a finger to my lips.
"Hush. You don't need to explain. I know how it is. I'm just worried that you might go overboard and bleed to death." He says and sighs. "I just don't want you to end up like Layne." He finishes. Layne was Damien's first real boyfriend. He was a cutter also and one day he and Damien got into a fight. That night he cut so far and deep that he bled to death that night. It wasn't a suside, he just wanted the pain to go away.
"I promise you I won't be like Layne." I assure him.
"You better not or I'll go down to Hell and kick your ass." He jokes.
I looked up at him. "Do you ever visit Layne, sometimes?" I ask.
"No I can't do that to myself. Hell isn't a playground, Pip. It's the worst place ever." He says.
"No shit, sherlock." I say.
He rolls his eyes. "If I saw the shit that there doing to Layne, I'd problily lose it. And then Dad'll kick my ass and then it wouldn't be a pretty picture." The black-haired boy says.
I look up at him and just gock at his beauty. The way he's sitting just does something to me. It makes me want to...Touch him, have him touch me. I want him to kiss my pain away. But I know it's not possible. No one can take away the pain in me. I feel the tears spring to my eyes. I sit up and swing my legs off the bed. I feel Damien's hand squeeze my shoulder. I look back. "What?" I ask. I feel the tears ready to flow.
"What's wrong?" He asks me. Damn, how the hell does he know something's wrong?
"Nothing." I reply. I go to get up and he holds me down.
"Pip, I know when you like and when something is bothering you, so just 'fess up." He says.
"I'M FINE!!" I yell in anger. I recoil. Shit-damnit. I sigh and get back into bed. "I just wish I could get this pain to go away. I've tried to everything." I confess.
"You haven't tried everything, I have. Only one thing worked for me." He says.
My eyes brightened. "What was it." I say, my voice full of hope.
Damien kissed my forehead. "I made a friend and it made me happy. I wasn't lonely anymore and the urge to cut went away." He says and puts his arm around me.
"You're being pretty affectionate toward me. You're making me worry." I joke.
"Eh, I'm just happy and I'm worried about you." He says.
For some reason, when I looked into his eyes, they made me cave in and I started to cry. I'm so fortunate to have him. I have the best friend ever. "Damien, your too good for me." I cry into his chest.
"I think it's the other way around, Blondie." He says and chuckles. I continue to cry into his chest, and the conforting thing was that he let me.
!!!!!!!!!
I love rainy days. I guess it reminds me of England. I was so angry when my parents told me we where moving to America. Every bad thing I was told about it was true. Not only did they kill my parents by their insane drivers but they all hate me. Everyone in this town wants to see me dead. The sad thing is that I didn't do anything but come from England and have a funny accent.
Damien and I decided to go to Stark's Pond. It seemed fun. It actually was. We went and hung out on the swings. I never knew that you could slide so quickly off them things. Well everything was fun, till we ran into Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Eric up there.
"Damn, we can't go anywhere with out seeing you douche bags. Get out of here. We wanna swing." Stan says. Kyle gripped his hand and looked down at his feet. Kyle and I had a fling a while back. It was obvious that he still likes me.
"Come on Damien. We don't need this shit." I say, turning to him.
"Yeah, get out of here, you fag-bags. No offence to Stan and Kyle." Kenny muffles though his hood.
"None taken, McCormick." Kyle says.
Damien had the fire in his eyes. "Take this!" He yells and Kenny flew into a tree and it fell over on him.
"OH MY GOD! YOU KILLED KENNY!" I yell
"Hey bastard! That's my line." Stan shoots at me.
I look down at my feet. "Sorry." I say.
"Hey! I need to give you a beatdown." Eric says and walks up to me. He raises his fist to me and I wince. It must be 11:38. God, every day. How do I manage this shit.
Damien stepped in front of me. I look up and smile. "Touch him and I will kill you. Don't think I'm afraid? Then you are one crazy motherfucker." Damien says.
"Damien, Let's just go. I don't want to start anything." I say.
"Yeah! Listen to your boyfriend, Gothy." Kyle says.
"Fuck you, Jew. Come on Pip." He says. He grabs my wrist and yanks me with him. We head back to the main road and head home. "I need a cigarette after that." He says.
"I thought you quit?" I ask.
"That doesn't mean I don't want one." He snapped.
I lowered my head. "Sorry, I didn't know." I say.
He looks over at me and brushes away a strand of soaking blond hair from my face. "You don't have anything to be sorry about, so why are you?" He asked me.
"I'm sorry about the park. I didn't know that that was gonna happen." I say.
"That shit's gonna happen when you are the most hated people in South Park." He says.
"Why can't they leave us alone? We didn't do anything to them, well I didn't." I say, with a smile.
"Hey, they deserved it. It was my duty to burn down their playground equipment and turn Kenny into a Duck Billed Platypus." He says and we both laugh.
"You did go a little far by turning me into a firecracker." I inform him.
"Eh, back then I just wanted to belong, now I just want to be with you." He says. My heart skips a beat.
I blush. "Stop that. You've been doing that for two days. You need to get laid." I joke.
He doesn't smile. "That's not my problem." He replies and walks faster.
"Damien, What's wrong?" I ask.
"Nothing, I don't feel like talking right now." He says. I had to run to be back next to him.
"But..." I start, but he cut in.
"Hey, just go home. I've gotta go talk to Dad for awhile. I'll be back later. If you're hungry, there's leftover pizza in the fridge." He says. He stomps three times on the ground. A crack formed on the ground and widens. "See you at home, babe, and be safe." He says.
"Ok, you too." I say and he jumps into the crack. The crack seals up and it looks like no one was even there. I sigh and walk home. Ok, right now I hate the rain.
!!!!!!!!!!
At home, I went to my room and laid down on my bed. I put in Damien's Marilyn Manson cd and close my eyes. I felt like crying. I hate be hated so much. It's so strange. I feel so alone without Damien. It's like he has the better of me. I look over at my nightstand. Should I? God, I want to cut so bad. Make it realy deep. Deeper than I could ever get. I open the drawer and I pick up the small knife. I dip it in my water and scrub off the dried blood from last time. I take off my shirt and look at the ones I did the other day. They're so gross and disgusting. But I remember how good it felt to take everything out on myself.
I carved a "D." Damien's gonna kill me.
"A." It feels so good
"M." Ow! That one hurt.
"I." Ok I want to stop. I look down at it. Well it would look stupid if I don't finish it.
"E." I shut my eyes and fight back the tears.
"N." I sigh and wipe my eyes. That hurt like hell.
"Pip! I'm home!" I hear. Shit! I gotta get cleaned up. I lounge for the door and lock it. Bullocks, I'm so dizzy. I grab the towel on my floor and have it sop up my blood. The door handle shakes. "What's wrong? Why is the door locked." Damien asks. I look down. Good, the bleeding has stopped. I throw on my shirt and throw the towel and knife in my closet.
I go over to the door and open it. "Can't a man jerk off in peace." I say. I sway a bit. I feel like I'm gonna pass out.
"Who where you thinking about." He asks, with a smile.
"That is strictly confidential." I joke. He laughs. "Why did you see your dad." I ask.
"Well that's strictly confidential." He says. His eyes went from soft to angry in a flash of a second. "You where cutting yourself." He says.
"No I wasn't." I say.
"Now are you gonna stand there and lie to me?" Damien yells. He looks down at me. "YOU'RE BLEEDING! GOD DAMNIT PHILIP!" He screams. He's pissed. He called me by my full name. "You told me you'd stop! I can't take this." He says and turns away from me. Holy shit, he's shaking!
"How did you know?" I asked.
"You have blood all over your bed." He says. I go to touch him and he jumps away. "Don't touch me! Why the fuck did you do it this time?" He asked.
"I can't tell you that." I say, looking down at my feet.
He lifts my chin so that he can look me in the eyes. "Was it about the thing with Cartman and his group?" He asked me.
I broke away from his stare. I know I'll cave in if I look into his eyes. "I told you; I can't tell you that." I say, louder.
"Whatever." He says and stomps toward the door. "I'll be back later." He says and leaves with the slam of the door. Ok, I realy need to stop cutting.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !
Author's Note: Wow my 2nd chapter already! I'm good at this. I was inspired and so I kept writing. Do you like the direction this is going in? I don't want to rush Pip and Damien's love yet. I want it to be dark and angsty, and you know what, I've succeeded. I already know that I'm gonna make a lemon scene WAY later in the story. LOL. I'm such a sick pervert as my friends tell me. Is the cutting thing with Pip a bit too much and I should tune it down or does it add to the drama? I don't know, some one throw me a freaking bone here lol. Well I'm gonna go, Later.