Chapter 2
OC yawned as she came out of her bedroom. Her restless sleep showing in her wild hair; well, wilder than normal. On her way to the bathroom she saw Max sitting on the couch; shoulders slumped, her arms hugging her knees to her chest: the copyrighted posture of mopey people.
OC shook her head and wondered if Max had gotten any sleep at all last night. She had a feeling that she knew what Max was moping about. It's got to do with those two boys. *Thank God I don't swing that way* she thought.
OC kept staring at her friend and wondered if Max was having cold feet. Her and Logan were set on getting married and while that was something they had wished for a short while ago, things had change. OC had nothing against Logan but lately she couldn't help but wonder if Max made the right choice. She got the feeling that whenever Max was with Logan, she had a strained air about her - before, during and now. When Max was with Alec, she was carefree and was reminded of the Max she first met.
OC sighed, "Boo, what on earth are you brooding about?"
Max looked around in surprise. She was so deep in thought she didn't hear OC come out of the bedroom. "Hu- Wha-"
"Yah looking all droopy," she adds with a grin, "like you got PMS or somethin'." OC's face fell at her friend's lack of appreciation of her joke, however lame. Cindy knelt down in front of Max so she could see her face, "What's wrong?"
Max wrinkled her face in protest, "I'm not droopy or broody."
"Whatever you need to tell your self, sugar," OC rolled her eyes getting up.
"Want some coffee?" OC asked as she banged around the kitchen looking for the pot to boil water in.
"Yeah, sure."
OC filled the pot with water and put it to boil while she watched her friend fall back into her own thoughts. OC made her way over to Max on the couch; not quite knowing what to say, but knew if anyone could help, Original Cindy was the girl for the job.
"So, what's going on in that head of yours?"
Max was silent for a moment as she quietly contemplated OC's question. She buried her chin further into the valley between her knees and shrugged. "Just…stuff. Nothing important."
OC cocked an eyebrow and gave her that yeah-right-and-I'm-straight-look. "Mmmhhhmmm. Stuff? Lemme guess, would that have anything to do with your boy?"
"NO. Why would I even think of Alec? And he is NOT my boy." Max sprang up from the sofa and moved to the kitchen, busying herself making coffee. It gave her an excuse to hide from OC's probing questions and perceptive eyes, which seems to be able to look past all her defenses.
*Interesting* OC contemplated Max's back. "Girlfriend, you know I love you and all, but you better sit your ass back down here before OC outs the smack down on it. Now, tell Auntie OC all about it." And she added for good measure "Don't be giving me no BS either."
"OC, you worry too much. Everything is just fine! Great. I'm getting married to the man of my dreams and then we're going to live happily ever after. Why wouldn't I be happy?"
In her agitation, Max banged her mug harder than necessary on the kitchen counter. Horrified, she picked up the mug and checked it for any cracks. "Oh damn it! There's a crack on it." Her fingers frantically traced the long crack over and over as if she could smooth the cracks away. Max's finger moved faster, her movements fast and full of anxiety; anxiety that began to overflow in the form of tears.
OC stood watching her, transfixed for a moment. She had never seen her like this and Max would never cry over a simple crack in a mug. OC walked cautiously over to Max and gently pried the mug from her strong fingers and replacing it with her own hands. She smiled at her gently, "It's just a mug."
Max looked at her friend with tears in her eyes, "No, it's not." She cried a little harder. "It's the mug Theo gave me the last Christmas before he-" her voice broke off in a sob. She slid down the counter wall and pulled her knees up and just let go.
OC's face cleared in understanding. Theo was Max's former neighbor and their former Jam Pony co-worker. She remembered that Max was tight with Theo. They were like family, but he died two years ago from a post-war illness. It turned out that the meds used to control his condition - cortodiazapine supplied to the VA hospitals and Vet clinic were in fact filled with refined sugar. Eyes Only had put a stop to it but it was too late to save Theo. Poor Theo ended up as just another number.
OC sat next to her friend on the kitchen floor and pulled Max into a comforting hug. "C'mere Boo."
Max turned and hugged OC hanging onto to her as if she were a life preserver. OC grabbed Max back tightly reassuring her she wouldn't let go as she rubbed her back.
Max calmed as she realized the friend she had in Cindy. Her comforting words and warm hugs were something that Max had been craving since this whole ordeal. "Thanks. I needed that" She gave an embarrassed smile.
"Anytime Boo. Now you wanna tell OC what's really going on?"
Max glanced at her friend from the corner of her eye and agonized whether or not to tell OC. The less she tried to think about it, the more the problem invaded her mind. But she felt that it would get better to voice her doubts and who better than her best friend. If it was only a few months ago she would do what she'd always did when in doubt, the thing she'd learned without being taught: run. Only this time she didn't have the luxury of doing that.
"Do you think I'm making a big mistake?" her voice came out so quietly that OC had to strain her ears to catch her words.
"Do you think I'm making a big mistake?" Max's voice a little stronger this time. She gestured with her hands, "This whole week, I've been wondering if I did the right thing."
"This whole week? You mean since Alec left town?" OC interjected knowing that through Max's reaction she'd hit the jackpot.
OC had shrewdly guessed when that Max and Alec not parted amicably and that there was more to the argument. At times she seriously wondered if she was the only one who realized that Pretty Boy has deep feelings for Max.
OC ventured a look at her friend's face.
"I know that you said that the both of you had some sort of fight. Is there something you're not telling me?"
No answer.
"Max?"
"It's no big deal really. Just something he said that got to me. I mean it's no different from all the other crap that comes out of his mouth. I'm not sure why I let it get to me this time."
"Maybe there was some truth in what he said to you, Boo. You might wanna think about it."
"You know, things would be so much easier if Alec stayed the I-only-lookout-for-me guy he use to be. I could deal with him and his self-centred shit. I don't know how to deal with him being nice."
"Oh yeah, he just a mean villain, trying to be nice to you and everything," OC replied wryly. Max laughed softly at that. Cindy felt glad she'd made Max laugh, albeit a small one. She looked back at Max's face to see the smile still lingering there. But it seemed to be tinged with something else.
"Boo, I know you always say you don't, but have you got the hots for Pretty Boy?"
The smile vanished in an instant.
"That's it, isn't it? That's why you're having second thoughts?" and adding in thought, *Hmmpf…about time*
"WHAT?! Y-NO! I don't have the hots for Alec. I like kickin' his ass – yes. And 'sides, we're not like that. We're just – friends."
OC arched one eloquent brow. "REALLY? And when did this miracle happen? You sure you didn't bump your head doing those cat gymnastics for Logan?"
OC pressed her fingers to Max's scalp feeling around for a telltale bump.
"Hmmm… no bump." OC's hand dropped away from Max's head, "So, why the sudden change of heart? You couldn't even stand it when the boy was breathing."
Max gave OC a look of mock horror and playfully shoved her best friend's shoulder, "That is so not true! I treat him like...like...like I treat Sketchy!" She finished triumphantly.
"No, you don't sugar. Trust me. You treat the boy worse than you treat Sketch. And you know it" OC countered Max as if daring her to prove OC wrong. She didn't.
"Don't think I didn't notice." OC said cryptically.
"What?"
"That you still haven't answered – why the sudden change of heart."
Flashback
After unburdening herself of the secret that she had kept so close to her heart, not sharing it with Logan or even OC; Max felt a load had been taken off her back. She had been afraid that they wouldn't understand or realize the guilt that was eating her up inside.
They would all say they understood and tell her everything would be all right, but they couldn't really know that it would be. They weren't there; they didn't know the things she knew, they hadn't seen the things she'd seen. She could only hope that Alec would understand why his twin died by her hands. Even though they were both twins, Ben was more her brother than Alec's.
Alec was silent, stunned at her revelation. Never in a million years would he ever have guessed that Max had killed Ben with her bare hands. He knew with a gut feeling of certainty that Max had never told anyone else. It wasn't something you just tell people; 'Oh hey, while we're still talking about brothers, did I ever tell you bout the time where I snapped my brother's neck?' DEFINITELY not a topic for after-dinner conversations.
He tried to picture Max telling Logan and he could just see it now: Logan's eyes bugging out in horror, probably choking on one of his pasta dinners or even his infamous PP wine. If and when Logan got over his horror, he'd probably pat Max on the back like a father, giving her the "Max, you did well. It was for the good of all mankind – Ben was a serial killer and had to be stopped," and all that feel good factor.
Alec wished that he had a chance to get to know Ben as a kid, before he lost himself on the forced voyage of self-discovery. Just because they were the culmination of millions of taxpayers dollars in research, that didn't mean that they weren't fragile on the inside. Manticore had been so busy training them to be soldiers and killers that they had neglected the fact that they were just kids.
The guilt and failure must've been eating her up slowly inside, he thought. Alec was just amazed that Logan never suspected how much she was suffering on the inside, totally falling for the tough girl façade – and this was the woman he professed to love.
To think that Max had picked him Alec, the screw-up Alec, to confide in and not her not-like-that-crusader-boyfriend or her best-friend OC. It was humbling; Alec hoped that maybe this could be the thing that would change their uneasy relationship to a deeper level.
Alec finally understood why Max treated him badly all the time. He also understood why she had to kill Ben and he didn't hate her for it. Alec knew that Max thought that he would hate her or look at her with condemnation for what she did, but how could he, when he had done so much worse.
His 'crimes' weren't done out of love, like she had done for Ben. They were done because of duty and like a good soldier; he did it without question – until Rachel. So he did the only thing he could for Max. He put his arm around her small frame and whispered, "I'm sorry," into her hair and placed a gentle kiss the top of her head, trying to soothe the pain. He didn't make empty promises that everything would be all right because he knew it would never be all right. It would stay with Max for life. It was a curse that every Manticore creation must endure at the hands of their makers.
With those two words, Max let out the breath she didn't realize she'd been holding and she closed her eyes in relief. *He understands* She turned her head to Alec's chest and took the comfort he was offering. Breathing in his scent, she let it fill her lungs and was surprised that it filled her with a sense of safety and comfort.
When the silence grew too awkward, Alec looked down at Max and opened his mouth to say something at the same time Max looked up at him. Whatever he wanted to say was forgotten as he looked into those deep brandy-brown eyes of her. Drawing him in that he was helpless as the sailors who heeded The Sirens call.
Max felt her breath catch at the way Alec was looking deep into her.
Her eyes met his dark stormy green ones swirling with an unnamed emotion in its heart.
Afraid to put a name to that emotion, her gaze slid away from his in shy uncertainty and inadvertently fell on Alec's lips. *I wonder if it tastes as good as it looks* the thought suddenly popped in her head.
She blinked in surprise, appalled at where her traitorous thoughts were leading her. *Think Logan! Think Logan-* But her eyes zeroed back in to those luscious lips and focused on it with an intensity normally reserved for a hard to crack safe.
Alec caught the look in her eyes and he groaned mentally, *Aww...hell Max. You don't play fair. How the hell am I suppose to resist if you look at me like that! Focus 494! Foc- I am so whipped*
*Max! What the hell are you doing?! How can you think of kissing another man! Remember you love Logan!* The first voice scolded.
*Right, Logan. Logan. I love him - but I can't touch Logan, no thanks to Manticore – and Alec's right here, right now, touchable and oh God! Why does he have to be so understanding and gorgeous?* the second voice complained unreasonably.
*Max! Do you hear what you're saying? You are lusting after your own brother. That is so...so wrong!*
*NO WAY! He is so not! Alec is not my brother. Not by blood anyway – and besides, he didn't grow up with us, so he doesn't qualify as my brother* The second voice retorted to the first one.
Max's head spun as the two voices argued in her head, turning her into a pile of indecisive, speechless mess.
*Christ! She looks so beautiful* Alec stared unblinkingly into Max's eyes. *All I have to do is make the first move... but where does that leave us afterwards? The situation between her and Logan remains unchanged... and I don't want to play the bad guy. She'll hate me for coming between them – I can't lose her, and if the only way to be near her is to stay as her crazy, woody sidekick, then I could live with it. I have to*
*Why didn't I ever notice that he had a caring side to him? Why isn't he kissing me now? What the hell is he waiting for? ..Oh my God, what am I thinking? I can't do this to Logan - he loves me. We've been through so much together... God, what have I almost done?*
*HAH! Told you so! Told you she'd come to her senses and remember her deep love for Logan,* the first voice said in a victorious tone, smirking.
The second voice merely growled out its frustration murderously, warning the first voice to be silent or else…
Alec saw awareness blossom in Max's eyes causing him to close his eyes briefly in regret, *It's better this way – for all of us*
Did you ever lay your head down,
On the shoulder of a good friend,
And then had to look away somehow…
Max took a few seconds to gather her scattered thoughts; she opened her mouth as if to say something, Alec tensed himself in preparation for her verbal lashing. Max changed her mind and closed her mouth, then, she opened her mouth again and for the second time tonight, surprising Alec, again.
"Umm...it's late. You better stay the night. I mean, it's probably not safe to go out there. You know, the thing with Ben and all." Max clasped her mug with both hands so hard that her knuckles were white – unable to look Alec in the eye after what they – she had almost done.
Alec looked at Max's bent head, wondering what she was thinking, one hand rubbing his stiff neck.
"Uh...sure. Hey listen, thanks for saving my ass - again." Taking his cue from her stiff body language.
Max shrugged in acknowledgement still not daring to look up at him.
*Oh Max, please don't look like that* His heart ached unbearably in his chest to see Max so guilt-stricken and unhappy.
He sighed silently, wondering to himself if things would be so much more different if Max had met him first instead of Logan. Probably not - considering Max's deep and abiding hatred of Manticore at that time he amended to himself silently. Bet she was more fun and game for anything way back instead of the half-domesticated cat she is now. Not that he doesn't appreciate the half-tame Max now, she has her good points but…
*Regrets are a waste of time buddy. What's important is the here and now. And right now, I'm only her friend – at least…I think this means I've graduated from 'an-anvil-waiting-to-be-dropped-on-me' to being her friend* sounding somewhat uncertain on the last part.
He racked his brain for something to say to break the silence, to lighten the somber mood. Anything would be way better than to watch Max depress herself for something that could've happened but- a big but here - didn't happen.
"So, Max, this means we're having intimate pillow-talks in your bed, right?" He smirked roguishly waiting for the outburst he knew was coming.
True enough, Max did not disappoint. Fire burst to life in her eyes, chasing away the dark clouds of gloom and doom.
"In your dreams! You get the couch and you're staying there! If I so much as sense you looking wrong at my bedroom door, you'll be singing soprano, got that?!"
She slapped him upside the head for good measure.
"OWW!! That hurts." He rubbed his head, hardly feeling it at all. *And she's back* It was easier to deal with a fire-breathing Max than dealing with a clammed-up one. At least Alec knew where he stood with the former than with the latter.
"Aww..Maxie come on. Look at the couch. My legs are gonna stick out," Alec gave Max his best puppy-eyed look trying to appeal to her nurturing female instinct. "You wouldn't do that to me would you – your only partner in crime."
One hand on his heart.
"I don't snore and I won't take up too much of the bed. No blanket hogging either. Scout's honor," his other hand raised in the recognizable hand pledge.
Max felt her lips twitch a little, but she ruthlessly suppressed it, *no point encouraging him. Wouldn't want him to think he's growing on me. Definitely bad for my 'girls kick-ass' persona. 'Sides, a girl's gotta get her fun somewhere*
"Shut up!" Max stalked into her room and slammed the door leaving Alec behind grinning at her door.
Had to hide the way you felt for them,
Have you ever prayed the day would come?
You'd hear them say they feel it too,
That night neither of them got any sleep thinking of what almost happened out there. Both arriving at the same thought - *Logan* - for two different reasons.
End Flashback
"We – Alec and I – Umm..We have an understanding."
"An understanding? Care to elaborate on that sugar? Coz OC here is not getting the picture."
"You know, as in two people coming to an agreement on something," Max hedged.
"I know that Boo. What sorta understanding are we talking about here?"
In an apartment in Foggle Tower
Sunlight streamed through the gaps of the half-drawn Venetian blind in the bedroom, the air smelt of stale sex and cigarette smoke. Silence and tension thick as two naked bodies sat up against the pillows stiffly amidst the rumpled grey-colored satin sheets.
The woman shook a stray strand of bottle-blonde hair away from her face as she took angry puffs from the cigarette in her hand and blew smoke rings in her lover's direction knowing that he hated it whenever she did that.
"You're really going to go through with this?" She said looking at Logan through the haze of smoke.
Coughing slightly from the smoke, Logan flung the covers aside and swung his legs to the side of the bed. "Yes. For the last time – YES."
"What about me? Us?" Stubbing the half-smoked cigarette viciously into the ashtray on the table next to the bed, she glared belligerently at Logan's back.
"What ABOUT us? There IS no us. I told you right from the beginning that this was just another business transaction. Supply and demand."
Logan got up from the bed and headed towards the shower, wanting to avoid the confrontation he thought he'd dealt with already.
"Even after what I just told you?"
"YES! Even after. Look, what happened is not my problem. I never made any promises." Logan turned angrily to stare at her. "If it's money you need, I'll provide it so you can take care of the problem. But don't expect me to give up Max just because of it."
Logan then took out a wad of cash from his drawer and threw it on the dressing table.
The air crackled with burning resentment from her side. She looked away from Logan, clenching her hand, "You are such a bastard." She whispered.
"Yeah, I'm a bastard. A rich one." Logan cynically remarked under no illusion that the angry wildcat in his bed was with him for anything other than money.
Taking a few deep breaths, with her anger finally under control, she tried another track. She got up from the bed naked, letting the sheets pool at her feet. Slowly and languidly like a cat stalking her prey, she walked towards Logan with a calculating look in her eyes.
"Do you think Max will still walk down the aisle if she found out about us?"
Trailing a path from Logan's collar bone to his heart with one long red finger nail, "Hmmm..? Maybe I should tell her about last night. I'm sure she'd LOVE to hear how you were fucking another woman last night – on the eve of your wedding."
She licked the side of his jaw towards his left earlobe and bit down on it hard drawing a tiny drop of blood.
"BITCH!!" Logan roared in pain shoving her hard against the bed. "Don't ever do that again!"
He looked positively menacing in his anger. He looked nothing like the noble, gentle Logan Cale the world saw him as. His face twisted into a mask of promised retribution for the blond sprawled on his bed. He crawled up on the bed, wrapping her blond hair around his fist, pulling her close till she whimpered in pain, he whispered chillingly in her ear.
"Who do you think Max will believe? Her loving loyal fiancé or a lying grasping whore like you? Oh by the way, if you ever tell her, I will ruin you. And that is no empty promise."
Pushing away from her, he crawled off the bed and headed towards the shower leaving her to look at his retreating back in fear and hate.
Lying there on the bed where Logan left her, she lit up another cigarette with shaking hands, the cigarette helping to calm her nerves as she considered her next move.
After a few silent moments of puffing hard on the cigarette, where the only sound intruding was the sound of Logan in the shower, and the clock chiming the 11th hour of the morning; she finally got up and walked to the dressing table, grabbed the measly wad of cash left earlier by Logan. Stuffing the bills into her purse she got dressed and headed to the kitchen to make breakfast.
She put the small kettle to boil, then she busied herself making toast and frying strips of bacon, ham and eggs.
While the water was boiling, she searched the cabinet below for a bottle she had kept hidden there to be used in the event things didn't work out as planned. Right now she stared at the bottle in her hand consideringly as she chewed her inner cheek, trying to decide how much to use.
She spent the next few precious moments in this manner till the shrill whistle from the kettle startled her into action.
She spooned out a liberal amount from the container into the coffee pot; she prayed silently that it was enough. She then added coffee powder to the earlier mixture. Her heart was beating so hard and loud that she wondered if the whole of Seattle could hear it. She was nervous and it showed in her hands.
Her hands shook slightly as she poured the hot water into the pot, stirring it quickly and vigorously, occasionally looking up from her task to see if Logan was coming. As she stirred, she hoped that the coffee's bitter properties would overpower the taste of the 'extra' ingredient she had added.
Sighing with relief of a job well done, she opened the cabinet and replaced the bottle where she had earlier hid it. Her eyes darting over the kitchen top to check that the coast was still clear.
A sliver of light from the kitchen light suddenly caught the bottle cover – the words on the label were somewhat faded but one could make out, 'ASTHMADOR' before the cabinet closed.
"Smells good." Logan came out of the bedroom toweling vigorously his somewhat thinning hair and inhaled deeply the delicious aroma of fried bacon and ham.
She put a plate heaped with food in front of Logan then she proceeded to sit down and had a glass of orange juice. She was determined not to make the mistake of drinking the doctored coffee out of nervousness.
"Ugghh! What is this stuff?!" Logan grimaced as he sipped the coffee.
Her heart stopped – has she been found out?
"Oh is it too bitter for you? Here, put in a couple of cubes," she nonchalantly pushed the sugar basin to Logan's side. Her heart pounding in panic but her face was outwardly serene. And if one would observe her eyes carefully, one would see the churning worry in her eyes – but Logan wasn't one of those you would say very observant about little things that didn't concern him or his E.O projects. How else would one explain his glaring oversight over the use of his original pair of eyes during his broadcasts?
"It's a new blend. The guy told me it's a mix of Arabica beans and some newly cultivated beans or something like that. If you don't like it, I won't buy this blend again." She shrugged as she speared a bacon strip.
"New blend, huh? Hmmphh, with such a bitter taste I doubt it'll find a big market for it. But strangely I kinda like it. Real coffee for a real man. An acquired taste if you will."
Hearing that, she rolled her eyes and sighed in relief that her secret hadn't been found out. She thanked her lucky stars that Logan had questionable tastes. Strange, but it was most welcome at the moment.
Breakfast continued in silence and Logan had almost finished his fourth cup of coffee before she opened her mouth again.
"Listen, I'm sorry about what I said earlier. I didn't mean it, baby. You know that, don't you?" she gave a tiny reconciliatory smile.
No reply.
"Logan?" she asked tentatively. "Are you mad at me?"
"Look, I'd like to enjoy my coffee without having to discuss deep and painful subjects, 'kay? So, 'less you have something to contribute, then I suggest you let me enjoy this in peace," Logan snapped without looking up.
She kept her eyes downcast and remained silent. She knew how to play her cards. Knew when to play the aggressive bitch or the meek woman. She learned early on in life on how to achieve her objectives. Never show the cards in your hands if you want to win.
Finally finishing his coffee, Logan pushed away from the table, throwing his napkin on the table, he asked, "Where did you put my tux?"
She pointed towards the bedroom door, "The tux is behind the door. Your shirt is in the closet. I ironed it just the way you like it, baby."
"Yeah...yeah whatever." Logan scathingly dismissed her and walked to the bedroom.
She started cleaning up and hummed a tune under her breath.
"Have you seen my diamond cufflinks?" A shout came from the bedroom.
"Coming!" as she stacked the last dish into the dishwasher.
Disclaimer : It's all there in its disclaimed glory in chapter 1.
A/N 1: Finally managed to pound out chapter 2 on my poor battered long suffering k/board. Thanks so much to my betas Mel and Susan for helping me out & those who reviewed me. Love ya all.
A/N 2: There may be some who will think that the LC in my fic is OOC from the one on TV. Too bad^^. I've decided to make him a little or a lot depending on your interpretation, different than the one you see on TV. It's necessary for him to be the way he is in this story. I promise you that I'm going somewhere with this. Just be patient, all will be revealed in good time – hopefully not too long though. Lemme know if you like it or hate it.