Disclaimer: I still don't own Trigun, plus I don't own the song that appears near the end of this fic.
(A/N: Many thanks to my reviewers! I really appreciate it!)
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-On the last episode of "How do you eat your Reese's Peanut Butter Cup?", a Tri-funeral was held…Legato got some chocolate…and Kane the Longshot filled out a job application to become the newest employee of the Reese's Pieces Company…-
-What insanity will happen today? …Lets find out! –
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…Number 9: special episode: ATTACK of the Kuronekos!!!...
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…
(Kane is being shown around the Reese's Plant, for job training)
(Kane and the Reese's Head Honcho(an old man of about 50) are walking around in a huge metallic building with high walls and lots of conveyer belts and machinery with people running around working)
Head Honcho(points to machine): "…and that's where the candy is made."
Head Honcho(speaks in deep southern accent): "Isn't that cool, boy?"
Kane: " … "
Head Honcho(makes face): "Speak up, boy! I can't hear ya!"
Kane: " … "
Head Honcho(leans his ear closer to him): "What?!"
Kane: " … "
Head Honcho(frowns a bit; bewildered): "Come on, boy, I'll show ya the water cooler."
… … … … … … … … … … … …
Meanwhile
… … … … … … … … … … … …
(In the deepest darkest corner of the deepest darkest alley behind the deepest darkest garbage bin behind the Reese's Plant)
-A dark shadow moves in the deep darkness-
-Sensing something…it pounces on its weak and unsuspecting prey: a single Reese's peanut butter cup-
-It's soft brown fur tingles as it devours the helpless candy-
-It holds the now near-empty wrapper in its paw- "…must…have…MORE!"
-Suddenly the small creature dashed back down the alley-way like a bolt of lightning-
"I must tell Lord Kuroneko-sama! …he will be pleased with what I have found!"
… … … … … … … … … … … …
Elsewhere
… … … … … … … … … … … …
(Vash, Meryl, Wolfwood, and Milly are all still walking back from the tri-funeral since the car they rode there in just broke down)
Meryl: "Well, that was the strangest funeral I've ever been to…"
Wolfwood: "I'll say."
(Wolfwood then looks over to see Vash & Milly bawling like crazy)
Vash(crying): -sniffle- -sniffle-
Wolfwood: "What the heck is wrong with you?!"
Vash(crying): "It…was…so SAD!!!"
"WAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
Wolfwood(rolls his eyes then walks over to Milly who was crying)
Wolfwood(wraps an arm around Milly): "Aww, Big Girl…it's alright…those people are in a better place now…"
Milly(sniffle…sniffle): "…it's not that, Mr. Priest…"
Wolfwood(confused): "Then what's wrong?"
Milly(tears welling up in her eyes): "I… I…"
"I haven't had any pudding in THREE DAYS!!!"
"WAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
(Wolfwood face vaults and he falls over backwards anime style)
… … … … … … … … … … … …
Meanwhile
… … … … … … … … … … … …
-A large black cat is sitting atop a pyramid of boxes in a back alley-way, wearing a crown and waving a stick around like a scepter-
-in front of this cat are a legion of kittys, some brown and some black, and they numbered almost 20…they were knelt down on their little kitty knees…chanting while doing something like 'the wave'-
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…
The Nekos(bowing): "All hail the great Lord Kuroneko-sama!"
The Nekos(raising their arms to the sky): "All hail!"
The Nekos(bowing): "All hail the great Lord Kuroneko-sama!"
The Nekos(raising their arms to the sky): "All hail!"
The Nekos(bowing): "All hail the great Lord Kuroneko-sama!"
The Nekos(raising their arms to the sky): "Long live the great Lord Kuroneko-sama!"
-Atop his great 'throne', Lord Kuroneko-sama smiled a great mischievous smile showing all his great teeth while taking in the sound of the sweet chanting of his subjects-
…
-Suddenly there was a commotion as a small brown neko rushed up to the 'throne room' of the great Lord Kuroneko-sama-
Lord Kuroneko(raising his scepter to silence the nekos): "What is the meaning of this disturbance?!"
BrownNeko(bows nervously, holding out the candy rapping): "I bring great news, and a… a gift!"
Lord Kuroneko(descends the box pyramid and looks at the candy): "You disturb my peace to give my some diseased half eaten candy!?!"
BrownNeko(shakes head furiously): "no.. no.. I ... I…"
Lord Kuroneko(angrily): "For this, I sentence you to the 'Death of a Thousand Deaths'!"
All the nekos: "GASP!"
Lord Kuroneko(signals the guard-nekos): "Neuter him!"
All the nekos: "GASP!"
BrownNeko(as he is being dragged away by two other kittys): "WAIT! PLEASE!"
"I found a Reese's Plant…a place of infinite chocolate!"
"…the most delicious in the land!"
-Lord Kuroneko stopped and looked back-
" …it could all be yours, my Lord!"
-A mischievous smile came across Lord Kuroneko-sama-
" …it could all be yours!"
-Lord Kuroneko dashed back up his pyramid-
Lord Kuroneko(holding his paws in the air): "RELEASE HIM!"
Lord Kuroneko(smiles to BrownNeko): "Tell me more about this…Reese's Plant…"
… … … … … … … … … … … …
Some time passes
… … … … … … … … … … … …
Lord Kuroneko(meows loudly): "Come! My brothers!"
(25 kuronekos suddenly appear who are identical to Lord Kuroneko-sama)
Kuroneko: "Nyao!" Kuroneko: "Nyao!" Kuroneko: "Nyao!" Kuroneko: "Nyao!" Kuroneko: "Nyao!" Kuroneko: "Nyao!" Kuroneko: "Nyao!" Kuroneko: "Nyao!" Kuroneko: "Nyao!" Kuroneko: "Nyao!" Kuroneko: "Nyao!" Kuroneko: "Nyao!" Kuroneko: "Nyao!" Kuroneko: "Nyao!" Kuroneko: "Nyao!" Kuroneko: "Nyao!" Kuroneko: "Nyao!" Kuroneko: "Nyao!" Kuroneko: "Nyao!" Kuroneko: "Nyao!" Kuroneko: "Nyao!" Kuroneko: "Nyao!" Kuroneko: "Nyao!" Kuroneko: "Nyao!" Kuroneko: "Nyao!"
Lord Kuroneko(shakes his paw): "Go now, my brothers and gather your armies!"
"WE ATTACK TONIGHT!"
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… … … … … … … … … … … …
Meanwhile 'tonight' at the Reese's Factory
… … … … … … … … … … … …
(Kane is staring at the water cooler)
Head Honcho(smiles): "Isn't this exciting?!"
Kane: " … "
…
"AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
-Suddenly horrible, terrible, ear piercing, mind numbing screams are heard in the background-
"YAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"
-Everyone runs over to see a horde of kuronekos running along the ground!-
-There were so many that you couldn't even see the floor!-
"EEEEIIIIYAAAHHAHHHHHHHH!!!!" – a woman ran trying to escape her terrible fate as thousands of kittys consumed her body, running all over her, knocking her to the ground, and once they had passed…there was NOTHING left of her!-
-Kuronekos hung from the ceiling…they hung from the rafters…they were eating all of the candies…and even the workers!-
"WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" – A terrified Reese's worker man ran up to where the Head Honcho and Kane were standing-
"Help! Help!"
"The Kuronekos are attacking!"
"The KURONEKOS are ATTACKING!"
-Suddenly a neko jumps on his head- "Meow"
"AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" –the guy dies of heart attack-
Kuroneko(laughs): "Nyao, nyao, MEOW!"
…
Head Honcho(turns to Kane, obliviously): "Now, what was he talkin' 'bout?"
…
-Lord Kuroneko happily observes his troops' destruction and moves in behind the Head Honcho for the victory-
Lord Kuroneko(pounces at the Head Honcho): "Nyao!!!"
Head Honcho(notices he has a cat burring its fangs into his neck): "AHHHHHH!"
-Flailing around- "YAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"
-Head Honcho man goes running up and down the neko filled corridors-
"YEeeeaaaaAAHAHHHHoooooaaaaAHHHHHHhhhhhhYYYYAAAAHHHHH!"
Kane: " … "
"YEeeeaaaaAAHAHHHHoooooaaaaAHHHHHHhhhhhhYYYYAAAAHHHHH!" –falls down-
Kane(walks off)
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(Lord Kuroneko stands on the head of the fallen Reese's Head Honcho leader man)
-he surveys his surroundings…
Lord Kuroneko sees an empty Reese's Plant…
The humans defeated…
…and all the chocolate for themselves and all of his neko kin!-
Lord Kuroneko(smiles evilly): "BWA HA Ha ha!"
-he jumps down and picks up a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup-
Lord Kuroneko(strokes it): "My… Precious…"
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… … … … … … … … … … … …
A little later
… … … … … … … … … … … …
-the nekos, all gathered together, arms wrapped around each other, sway and begin to sing:
"The winner takes all. It's the thrill of one more kill.
The last one to fall will never sacrifice their will…."
…
"…And it's sweet, sweet, sweet victory, yeah!
And it's ours for the taking, it's ours for the fight,
In the sweet, sweet, sweet victory, yeah!
And the world is ours to follow
Sweet, sweet, sweet victory!"
...
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The end…
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Or is it?
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"Meow"
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How do you eat your Reese's Peanut Butter Cup?