Disclaimer: Harry Potter and everything about it belongs to J.K Rowling and this story will not be making profits.
WARNINGS: Eventual slash, crazy families, insanity brewing, written before book 5 came out!! (I don't know London time and days so forgive me on that if it doesn't make sense!)
Summary: Harry and his godfather Sirius decide spending some quality time together. It probably...most likely will never happen since of book 5 but I wrote this before book 5, muahahaha!
Note: Sorry to anyone who has been reading this for the long wait, my muses like to get clogged, also anyone who greatly fears male x male stories turn back now there is slash in this! (that is what helped my muses to think of some of the crazy hilarious things to happen in this fic!))
Note 2: Sometimes myself and my beta reader don't catch mistakes so if you ever find anything wrong please don't hesitate in letting me know! I wanted to say that I found a mis-wording in chapter 2 of this fic, it says "Once Harry and Sirius were only, Sirius started rummaging through the mini fridge for snacks", I meant alone and another mistake "Sirius hoped off the motorcycle" obviously I meant hopped. Thanks for reading my ramblings!
Harry Potter goes to live with his Godfather!
Ch 3 When all hope appears to be lost
Once the strange little group arrived at the police station it took a while to straighten everything out. The cop locked both Scarlet and Roman up while poor Sirius and Harry waited in the waiting room. The police weren't sure what to do with them since they were 'hostages'.
Harry explained the whole story to the policemen since Sirius seemed scared of them, (although he left out the part where they had flown on a motorcycle and using magic). Sirius snapped out of his fear momentarily to say that Roman was innocent though how he knew this was a mystery! So the cop who'd been speaking to them went off to talk to Scarlet and Roman separately to check out their stories.
"I am never going on road trips again." Sirius stated firmly for what seemed the millionth time that day.
"Sirius nothing like this usually happens you know." Harry said dully.
"Still, I don't like this at ALL." Sirius folded his arms across his chest and stared out a window.
After waiting 10 minutes in silence, the cop returned along with Roman, which perked Sirius up somewhat.
"Ok we have the full story now, this man is just Scarlet's partner at work-" he made a grimace as if trying not to think about their line of work and continued, " and just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time like the both of you. You can use the phone-" he indicated a spot a little away from where they were sitting, "and we apologize for this inconvenience."
The cop then walked away from them clearly thinking he no longer needed to pay them any attention.
"Poor Scarlet, I knew she was a little suspicious especially when someone has a job like ours but I never thought she'd be a thief." Roman said sadly.
"I wonder why, usually people with a job like yours gets paid well don't they?" Sirius wondered aloud.
Harry blushed furiously at this and wandered off to the phone staring at it wondering who he should call. He picked it up staring at the receiver, hoping it'd talk to him advising him who to call.
Sirius was gazing at Roman who had his brow crinkled in worry which reminded him of Remus when he was worried. REMUS!
"That's it!" Sirius cried joyfully startling Roman, Harry and half the people in the waiting room.
"What is?" Harry asked curiously and beckoned Sirius closer in case it were something magical in nature.
"I remembered Harry! Remmie has a fellytone at his house!" Sirius exclaimed excitedly.
"Telephone Sirius!" Harry corrected making sure no one else had heard his godfathers babbling, "And did you just call Professor Lupin Remmie?"
Sirius sweat dropped. "Um yes! It was an old nickname we call each other!"
Harry nodded absently and asked Sirius for the number. Sirius stared at him blankly.
"Number? For what?" he asked curiously. Harry panicked, surely Sirius was kidding…but the blank look on Sirius's face instantly made him think otherwise.
"Well-" Harry said slowly and meaningfully, "you need a phone number to call a phone, say it was 251-9886 or something, we don't know whose number that is but it would belong to someone and they'd answer."
"Let's try that then!" Sirius said promptly. Harry sighed and looked severely at his godfather,
"Sirius! There are thousands, millions of phones hooked up all over the world! You can't try them all!" Harry explained, losing his patience.
"Why can't we try them all? It's merely just entering the numbers!" Sirius whined.
"Some numbers are long distance and cost the phone you're using money!" Harry said exasperated.
"Ohhh…" Sirius exclaimed with dawning realization. Then-, "Can we still try to see who 251-9886 is?"
Harry sighed. "That's not the point Sirius! We need to know Prof- I mean Remus' phone number! Did he give you the number, the address to his house, anything?"
Sirius pondered this a moment and brightened. "Why yes! He gave me a little address book and wrote in all in for me!"
Harry beamed, "Well where is it?" Sirius patted the pockets of his jeans searching for it and then a most peculiar look crossed his face.
"I left it with our stuff…which was in the side car of the motorcycle!" Harry gazed at him with a horrified expression on his face.
"Um excuse me." Came a timid voice from behind them. They whirled around and noticed Roman standing close by.
"They usually bring your stuff to the station, so they should have your possessions lying around somewhere."
Harry and Sirius beamed at him, thanked him and hurried off to find their belongings. Almost half an hour later they found the motorcycle parked outside near the police station in a half empty parking lot.
"We keep peoples cars and things here in case they make bail." Explained a female cop whom they found on the search for their belongings.
Thankfully, their things were in the side car right where they had left them but appeared somewhat ruffled.
"We had to check them to make sure you weren't carrying guns or explosives." The female cop informed them. Harry and Sirius nodded but sighed in relief, they had been carrying their wands on them and had almost considered leaving them with their stuff! Why? Who knows!
Harry searched Sirius' things and soon found a small black address book. Going to the 'L' section he quickly found Remus' address and like Sirius had said it was complete with a phone number.
"Why does Remus have a phone anyways Sirius?" Harry asked curiously as they made their way back to the building. Sirius shrugged, "I think it was so he could contact some students at muggle homes if he needed but ever since he left Hogwarts he just keeps it there, he was the top student in muggle studies!"
"Well that's good." Harry mumbled remembering Sirius' attempts to talk to the operator at the hotel.
Harry dialed the number and reluctantly gave it to Sirius who begged Harry to let him talk to Remus.
"Just don't yell into it, he'll be able to hear you at the tone we're speaking." Harry informed Sirius while he was waiting for the phone to stop ringing.
"Hello this is Remus J. Lupin." Came Remus' voice over the receiver.
"Remmie! A really horrible thing has happened-" Sirius began but Remus kept talking!
"I'm quite busy right now-" came the voice and Sirius wailings of "WHY WON'T YOU LISTEN TO ME!?"
"Sirius be quiet!" Harry exclaimed in alarm as he realized Sirius had got the answering machine.
"It's a recording! People usually use them in case they aren't home or are in the other room!"
"Oh…" Sirius said blushing as he heard a beep. "It beeped at me Harry!"
"Now you're supposed to talk and leave a message and he'll get back to you!"
"How will he get back to me? He doesn't have the number here!" Sirius whined.
"Sirius?" a voice asked curiously from the phone. Sirius stopped whining to Harry to listen to the voice. "Hello?" he asked uncertainly.
"Sirius, it's me Remus! You called me didn't you?" It was such a relief to hear Remus' voice after the whole ordeal it always calmed him.
"Yes I called you-um- Harry and I are in a bit of a rather nasty business. You see, the gas to my motorcycle ran out and we had to hitchhike so-" Sirius was cut off as Remus started scolding him.
"I know Remmie! I know it's illegal" he lowered his voice hastily as they were in a police station-"but what else could we do? I didn't haven't anything else to do so then we got picked up by a couple of prostitutes-"
"You WHAT?!" Remus screamed. Sirius was holding the receiver away from his ear in fear Remus would come charging out at him and beat him senseless.
"I'm sorry Remmie, they were the only people who would stop by and get us out of there!" Sirius wailed.
The whole while Harry was sitting in one of the chairs, mouth slightly open, staring at them in horror and some of the police officers were giving Sirius suspicious looks.
"Sirius! Quiet down please!" Harry pleaded. Sirius nodded acknowledging Harry's request.
"Don't worry Remmie! We're both fine! We even tried to get gas so we wouldn't have to drive around with them but the gas man said he didn't have the right gas-"
"Well of course he wouldn't, it's a magical motorcycle isn't it?" Remus scolded.
"But he said they'd be having it arrive in a few days!" Sirius spluttered completely thrown by this.
"Honestly Sirius, I thought it was your motorcycle, you should know by now that besides gas it needs a bit of flying oil to go with it so even if you got the gas the motorcycle wouldn't fly!"
Sirius sighed in frustration blowing some stray hair out of his eyes. "Alright then I guess I wouldn't have flown it but then we got pulled over by some pleasemen and they took us to jail!"
Remus now sounded concerned, "Are you all right love?" Sirius was pleased that his darling Remmie wasn't yelling or scolding him.
"I'm fine, Harry is hanging in there too we have everything settled but don't have a way to get out of here!"
"Don't worry Siri I'll be there as soon as I can!" with that Remus hung up the phone and hurried back into the dining room where he'd been writing a letter to Dumbledore.
Hastily he scribbled in that he had to go help Sirius and Harry in the letter, folded it up and gave it to the owl who had arrived a little while ago with a letter for him.
Remus had received word from Dumbledore that there was to be a meeting to bring back the Order of the Phoenix now that Voldemort had returned and he'd been asking Remus to join. Remus was delighted at being asked and was in the middle of answering when the phone had rung, a highly unusual thing to happen since he hadn't given his number out to many people.
So Remus put on a cloak and bustled around his small house making sure things were shut off and he had his wand. He walked down the main road and into a narrow side street making sure no one was around he then stuck out his wand hand.
BANG! The knight bus emerged out of thin air not too far from him and as the conductor leapt into view, Remus hastily gave him a I-know-the-routine look and entered the bus. Since it was only 6pm Remus sat on a chair and braced himself. BANG! With an almighty lurch the bus zoomed forward and Remus almost toppled right off his chair.
"'scuse me but you didn't tell where you're goin." Said the conductor.
"Grimmauld Place please." Remus said firmly. He hadn't stated the number since that was the whole secret about it! The conductor made no comment though and merely went back to the driver.
At least 10 minutes went by and Remus was wishing he'd traveled by Floo Powder. The only reasons he hadn't was because he wasn't entirely sure he could get into a secret building since he'd only just been told it existed and he was running low on it. The reason he hadn't apparated, biggest reason being he'd never been there and certainly didn't want to splinch himself trying when Sirius needed him.
"Grimmauld Place!" The conductor announced and Remus gratefully got up and walked shakily off the bus. It was a very depressing looking place as he made his way for number twelve but no sooner than he'd been walking that he discovered there was no twelve!
Remus stood with his hands on his hips looking from house 11 to house 13, he frowned "Where is 12?" he thought and no sooner had he thought that it materialized in between 11 and 13!
Remus blinked, "Oh of course!" He muttered as he walked up to it, "If it really is a secret place it'll be well guarded."
He knocked on the door and it opened rather quickly, like someone had been standing just opposite the door.
"Come on hurry up we don't have all day." Growled Mad-Eye Moody who Remus was only vaguely surprised to hear.
"What's the hurry for?" Remus asked curiously as Mad-Eye started bolting the door.
"Don't want to wake Sirius's mother." Mad-Eye replied nodding to a curtain.
Just as Remus was about to ask what on earth he was talking about someone seized him from behind.
"Remus! It's so good to see you!" it was Molly Weasley who led him into what appeared to be the kitchen.
Sitting at the table was Dumbledore who had an owl perched on his shoulder and he was absorbed in a letter. A second later however he glanced up and noticed them.
"Ah, Remus! Just got your letter…now what exactly happened to Sirius and Harry?"
As Remus described what had happened with his phone call, everyone else around them came bustling in and out, all appeared to have old clothes on and many had cleaning materials.
Once Remus had finished his story, Dumbledore explained as quickly as he could about the Order and the house they were in.
"So Sirius used to live here?" Remus asked wonderingly looking around the old house. "No wonder he and Harry want to live with me."
"Ah about that, now that Voldemort is around I'm afraid you'll need to protect your home." Dumbledore said cheerfully as Arthur came bounding in the room.
"Arthur, do me a favor would you? It seems Sirius and Harry are having a spot of trouble with their flying motorcycle, I don't suppose you have another car to enchant to go and fetch them with Remus do you?" Dumbledore asked pleasantly. Arthur glanced uneasily around clearly looking to where his wife had gone.
"As a matter of fact I do! I had an old car in the garage that I've been fixing up and could put in some flying oil and an invisibility booster in no problem!"
Dumbledore nodded and Remus took this as an 'ok go ahead' type of thing.
So Remus and Arthur took some Floo Powder and went to the Burrow. Remus fell out of the fire place feeling rather sick but Arthur looked perfectly fine.
"Come on Remus it's this way!" he cried gleefully pulling Remus with him to the garage.
"Sirius Black-" Remus hissed through clenched teeth," You're going to be in BIG trouble!
Sirius yelped. Harry looked at his godfather in concern. They'd been sitting in the lobby of the police station and were just dozing off when Sirius had woken clearly petrified.
"I think Remmie is angry with me." Sirius said fearfully and ignoring the surprised and confused face of his godson.
"Right." Harry said leaning back into his chair. It was getting dark out by now and Harry was awfully hungry. He looked out the window near the door looking out onto the street looking for some sort of food place.
Roman was still there, he refused to leave without Scarlet but they informed him that she'd be there a while. He was busy pouting until Sirius had yelped.
"It's getting late, I guess I should call my boss." Roman muttered to himself and he took out a cell phone from his pocket. Sirius looked at it curiously and watched in some amazement as Roman entered a number and began talking into it.
"Harry!" Sirius exclaimed turning to look at him. He glanced back at Roman and whispered, "Is that some sort of portable tellyphone?" Harry sighed as Sirius again didn't say telephone right but at least it was better then fellytone and he caught on it was portable.
"Yeah sort of." Harry said carefully, he didn't want to start explaining muggle things to Sirius right now, he was too tired and hungry.
At that point Roman had hung up and was looking quite grumpy, something that didn't suit his cute face.
"What's wrong?" Sirius asked carefully. Roman blinked and looked at him, he smiled.
"Oh nothing, just that my boss won't pick me up for something Scarlet did wrong and not me." He said bitterly.
"Oh." Sirius said quietly. Harry was starting to doze off again when he glanced out the window and rubbed his eyes.
"Um Sirius, you better watch out!" Harry was now wide awake because opening the door to the police station was his former Professor, Remus Lupin.
Sirius who'd been really confused at Harry's warning turned and stared with his mouth open. "Remmie darling!" he charged out of his seat and knocked Remus off his feet.
Harry hurried over to help the 2 men up. "Uh Sirius, did you just call him Remmie darling?"
Sirius gulped. "Why yes, I did!" he started laughing hysterically and Harry backed away.
"Your godfather is a bit of a git you know." Remus said glaring at Sirius.
"Tell me something I don't know." Harry said smiling at his godfather who instead glared at him.
"Arthur is outside Harry, why don't you go say hello to him?" Remus said mildly though he was glaring at Sirius again. Harry gratefully left the 2 adults alone.
"Remmie I want to-" Sirius began but Remus interrupted him.
"Look Sirius I really just want to forget all this it has been very tiring, I'm sure you must be, let's just go." Remus said and Sirius nodded enthusiastically.
As the 2 turned to leave someone came running up behind them calling to Sirius. He and Remus turned and with a guilty feeling Sirius noticed it was Roman.
The young man stopped in front of them looking from one to the other, "Do you think you could bring me back to my boss?" he asked pleadingly.
Remus eyed the young man suspiciously noticing his clothes and the guilty look on Sirius' face.
"Siri! Is this one of the prostitutes who picked you up?" he asked astonished and outraged. He hadn't thought one of them to be male.
"Well yes, can we bring him back Remmie? After all he and his partner helped us!" Sirius pouted. Remus folded his arms across his chest looking grumpy.
"You're cute when you grumble." Roman said smiling seductively. Sirius grinned.
"Isn't he? I tell him all the time but he never listens!" Remus was now blushing bright red and glaring at them but knew it was a losing battle.
"You really are Remus, it's a shame you two are leaving though, I take it you're a couple right?" Roman was saying.
Sirius nodded and Roman gave them another seductive look. He looked around clearly hoping not to be overheard.
"Well, if you want I could always give you a ride free of charge." He winked and Sirius started drooling but Remus was now hiding his face in his hands, he was thanking himself for sending Harry out to wait for them.
"How about it Remmie?" Sirius purred in his ear and he then glanced back at Roman. "I'm involved too aren't I?" He gave his little pout which sealed the deal.
"I-I don't know Siri." Remus whispered weakly. True, the young man was very attractive but all this craziness happening wasn't helping.
"Well just think about it then and I can go with you all right?" Roman gave Sirius a little pout of his own.
"Of course!" Sirius replied and leaded Remus out to the car with Roman in tow.
"Are we really taking him along?" Harry asked apprehensively glancing at Roman.
"Sure we are, and then we can get back to our trip!" Sirius replied cheerfully.
"WHAT?!" Remus cried, "Sirius Black I came here to get you! You're going home with me and Harry!"
"WHAT?! But Remmie-darling! Me and him you know and I wanted to do more sight seeing!" Sirius yelped.
Harry sighed and leaned against the car, this was going to take a while.
To Be continued!
(A/N: Well, I hope you all enjoyed this! I certainly did! Okay I'm not really sure what to do so I'm going to do a vote!
A) If you all want the insanity to end in America for them to go home to England and more craziness to happen there vote this!
B) If you all want the insanity to continue in America vote this!
OR C) Any other suggestions insert here! Ok that's all for now, more stories are in progress and um vote please!)