Chapter Twelve
Sorting Hat
(The doors open magically. McGonagall leads the first years into the Great Hall. They walk and see candles floating. They look up at the ceiling and see the sky. Hermione talks to some girl who really doesn't seem to be interested in what she is say.)
Hermione:
It's ceiling isn't real. It's bewitched to look like the night sky. I read about it, in "Hogwarts: A History."
(McGonagall walks up to an old hat sitting on a stool. About 6 of the first years follow after her.)
McGonagall:
Will you here along wait, please? Now, begin we before, Professor Dumbledore would say to like a few words.
Dumbledore:
I have a few start-of-term notices I wish to announce. The first years, note that the make-up on my face is strictly forbidden. Also, our caretaker, Mr. Filch, has asked me to remind you...
(We see a really creepy looking man standing at the door. There is a cat with red eyes at his feet.)
Dumbledore:
...that the third floor corridor is out of bounds for everyone who wishes to dies a most painful death...MUHAHAHAHAHA
(cough)
Yes, very well then. Thank you.
(Everyone looks around at each with puzzled looks on their faces. McGonagall rolls out the piece of parchment that she attacked Draco with.)
McGonagall:
When I name your call, come will you forth. I shall Sorting Hat the place on your head and you will be houses into your sorted. The Mighty Ranger...I mean, Hermione Granger.
(Hermione starts to panic.)
Hermione:
Oh, no. Okay, relax.
Ron:
Mental, that one, I'm telling you. But isn't she hot? I mean...look at her.
(Harry gives Ron a weird look, but he's already gazing lovingly at Hermione. Hermione sits downs. McGonagall places the hat on her head.)
Hat:
Ah. Right, then. Right. Hm, alright then, GRYFFINDOR!
(Everyone claps and the Gryffindors cheer. Hermione joins them.)
McGonagall:
James Bond...oh, sorry, read this I wrong. Draco Malfoy.
(Draco steps forward and sits on the stool. Before the hat can even get near his head it yells.
Hat:
SLYTHERIN!
Ron:
Every witch or wizard that's gone bad has been in Slytherin.
McGonagall:
Eleanor Columbus...I mean, Susan Bones.
(Susan Bones steps forward and sits.)
Hat:
Hmm...HUFFLEPUFF.
(A gay looking man is staring at Harry, in lust. He is talking to Professor Quirrell. Harry stares back at him. Harry has a pain on his forehead.)
Ron:
Harry, what is it?
(Ron says that like he really, really cares.)
Harry:
My scar hurts...
Ron:
Wicked.
Harry:
No, Ron...no. That's not wicked. It hurts...
McGonagall:
Ronald Weasley.
Ron:
It's Ron!
McGonagall:
Ronald Weasley.
Ron:
It's RON!
McGonagall:
Ronald Weasley.
(Ron gives up and steps forward. He falls flat on his face. Everyone laughs. He gets up and sits on the chair. He falls off the chair, backwards. He gets back up and the hat is placed on his head.)
Hat:
AH! Another Weasel. I know just what to do with you... RAVENCLAW!!
Ron:
What!?
Weasleys (Percy, Fred and George):
What!?
The Whole Gryffindor Table:
What!?
Hat:
Oh, sorry. GRYFFINDOR!
(Everyone cheers.)
McGonagall:
Harry Potter.
(Everyone shuts up and stares at him. He walks up and sits down.)
Hat:
...
(The Hat falls asleep and begins to snore loudly, Professor McGonogall walks over and pokes it, the Hat wakes up with a jolt of energy.)
Hat:
Oh yes! Right! Grytherin.
(McGonagall pokes the hat again.)
Hat:
GRYFFINDOR!!
(Everyone claps and cheers. Harry joins his class mates. They are all standing up clapping and they greet him, one by one.)
A/N: Chapter Twelve: Sorting Hat is done! Chapter Thirteen: Nick and the Other Residents is coming soon!!
Thanks to Heather and Liz (the other Harvest Moon Gal) to helping me with this one!