There And Back Agai-Oh, the hell with it, we're staying HERE!
By GreenCat3
Okay, only a few people will understand this: Please do not sic the PPC on me. That's why this is labeled "Humor". Mini-Balrogs will be avoided.
Well, if I am PPC'ed…laughs I'll take it in stride. I would like to join the PPC, however.
Disclaimer: My last name is not Tolkien. Therefore, LotR is not mine, nor ever will be.
Chapter 1: Disc Read Error
Three rings for the Elven-kings under the sky,
Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,
Nine for mortal men doomed to die,
One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne
In the land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,
One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
In the land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
In the land of Middle-earth, most would never hear of this rhyme. In what has been called Earth, or the world as we know it today, most could repeat this rhyme by rote. Odd then, that the place where it is lesser known is where it originated. This tale is one of two worlds merging, of two different cultures colliding. But it is not like most of the tales featuring this concept, as this one helped change the course of Middle-earth's history. This story may be labeled fictional, but some insist that it is factual to the last word. What you think of it is up to you.
In the most unremarkable place on earth, Falls Church, Virginia, in the country called the United States of America, there was a gathering of eight friends with eight very heavy backpacks. They all had one thing in common, and it was that they all were deeply knowledgeable in the lore and history of Middle-earth. They had no idea that their knowledge would prove valuable to them in a short while. But in the house of Kitty Bastet, a simple task was being performed, one that would change the course of history.
They were going to watch the DVD of Fellowship of the Ring.
Of course, it wasn't just a simple task to the eight friends. It was like a ritual, to watch both of the films that had been released on video before they saw the new one. It was December 19, 2003, the day that school had just been let out for winter break, as it were. The girls would sleep over, and the following day they were to see Return of the King, the latest addition. As it was a workday as well, Kitty's mother would not return until at least the first movie was finished.
"I don't see why we couldn't see it the day it came out," Argued Kaylyn, the oldest, a high school freshman of fourteen years of age.
"Remember the minor point that we had a band concert that day?" Kitty, a quiet girl of thirteen reprimanded.
"Yes, and we had agreed to see it all together," Kitkat chimed in, a girl of the same age as Kitty.
"Just stick the bloody disc into the player and have done with it," growled Langston, the only male in the group, and the youngest.
"Maestro, will you do the honors?" Kitty bowed mockingly to Langston, inviting him to put the DVD in. Langston snatched the disc and all eight listened eagerly as it whirred in the drive. Suddenly, a message appeared on screen. "Disc Read Error"
"I don't get it. It always worked before." Kitty frowned.
"What a bloody rip-off," muttered Sallie, and her twin sister Kathleen agreed.
"SODDING DVD! WHY DON'T YOU DO SOMETHING, DAMMIT?!"
Then a portal appeared, and quick as a wink, the eight, and their extremely heavy backpacks, were whisked off to Middle-earth.
Gwahaha, shitty, right? Just wait until chapter two…maniacal laughter