When I'm gone
By: Jess Pete
Before I start the story I want to start this off. This is a very serious topic that I'm writing about, and those of you that find what I'm writing about funny should honestly go to hell because they have no heart. What happened to Paige in Degrassi is a very serious issue and is not to be taken lightly. If you know anyone that this has happened to, make sure they seek help, or find someone to talk to. If this happened to you, you can always talk to me about it. Talking helps people, let it out. Not to everyone, but find someone you can trust. I hope you all enjoy this. I don't own degrassi... some characters will eventually show that are my characters, but for now, nothing belongs to me! Most of the story line doesn't either.
Chapter 1: Recalling the crime
"What are you looking at?" I said to him, I saw him gazing at me.
"Your eyes... are they blue or green?" Dean said. Dean... so perfect. I never thought that a guy like him would ever ask me about my eyes.
"It depends on the light." I said, smiling at him.
"They are the most amazing colored eyes I've ever seen. You're very beautiful." He said to me. I smiled, and we locked in a gaze. We just looked at each other for a while, gazing into each others eyes. It was perfect. My shoes, my hair, my outfit. I looked totally delicious that night. I made a point, and I caught his eye. What can I say? I'm absolutely perfect! Suddenly, I felt someone tag down on me. It was Hazel.
"Paige... Spinner and Jimmy are here." she said to me. "We better go."
"Not yet... I am this close." I said. No, they're not going to get in my way of getting Dean's number and seeing him again. Nothing will. He will be mine. I turned around to Dean, looking at him.
"Dean... um... it's so loud out here. Wanna maybe go someplace a little more... private?" He smiled at me, taking my hand as we walked back in the house. We swerved our way through the crowd, as he wrapped his arm around my waist.
"You are so cute." He whispered into my ear, as I laughed. We walked past everyone, finally. I thought that everyone was looking at us... Good. I can't believe it. I am here... with Dean... DEAN! I was exploding inside, so full of eagerness, and excitement. "I think my friend's room will be... private." He said, as I followed him up the stairs, as we walked into a room. I reached out for the light switch, but he took my hand, pressing it back down on the light switch, turning the lights back off. "I like it dark." He said to me.
"But I can't see anything!" I said, bubbly.
"Here's my friend's bed, here's the door, and here's the party." He whispered to me.
"Why are we whispering?" I whispered back to him.
"Because my friends are neanderthals, ok?" He said.
"Ok" I replied back, happily. Suddenly, I felt him move closer to me, wrapping his arms around my waist, as he kissed me lightly, his lips caressing mine. Then he pulled back a little bit.
"You are so adorable." He told me, looking into my eyes. His eyes were beautiful, dark, mysterious, a new path to take... something new for me to explore.
"I am?" I said, knowing that I was and being completely modest.
"Oh yea." He said, with that, we kissed again, falling to the bed, kissing more. I felt myself stop for a minute, and he looked at me. "Is this ok?"
"No..." I started... then I said to myself... what am I saying? I want you holding me... a little kissing won't do anything but make him want me more. Be stern, show him that I'm in charge. "Yes..." I whimpered out, giving into the urge to have him in my arms. Then, he kissed me more passionately, putting all his force on me. "Just take it slow, Ok?" I said, as he just pushed on me more and more. "Dean! I said slow!" He finally sat up, his legs still on me. He reached into his pocket, as I looked at him. "What are you doing?" He took out a tiny bag from his pocket, a side that was white, the other side clear, which held a small rubber tube... a condom... Oh... no... I thought to myself. Ok, stay calm... don't let him see your fear, ok? "I don't think so!" I said, sternly. He didn't care... he pushed me back on the bed. "Dean, stop... I said no... please... dean... stop." He pushed me down harder on the bed this time, as he took my shirt off and threw it to the floor. He unhooked my bra and looked at my bare naked top. "Dean, get away from me." I tried kicking him, but then he pushed me down again, this time taking a knife out of his pocket. He lifted the knife to my chest, making a mark in between my two breasts. He made the shape of a "D", as he then kissed it, blood covering his lips.
"Now, that's what I like."
"You're a psycho!"
"I'm not crazy, you hear me?" He said, as he finally took off his pants completely. "You like this, don't you? Isn't this what you wanted? This is exactly what you wanted. We're having fun, so you should just enjoy it spirit."
"This is not fun, Dean, please... I'm begging you... don't do this to me."
It was too late. He hit me where it hurt. He entered me, and it hurt so bad. I felt pain rushing throughout the bottom of my body, I screeched a little bit, until he took a bandana he had in his pocket, and covered my mouth with it.
"Are you trying to get us caught, you little witch?" He said, as he slapped me in the face. I felt myself crying... this isn't what I wanted... I didn't want to get further than maybe making out... oh god... please help me... save me from this... pain... I saw silvery sparks throughout my eyes, as my final thought before I felt it was over...
This is what I deserved...
I woke up, looking at a clock... Oh shit... it's midnight... I looked next to me, and there was nothing... he was gone. That jerk wasn't here anymore. Go figure... that's like a male... he gets what he wants and then leave, taking everything he's had away from me... leaving me alone in the cold of this room. I grabbed my shirt, and put it back on, understanding why I was so cold. I checked my skirt, everything seemed ok. I walked into the bathroom, the next door from the room I was in, and looked at myself in the mirror. All I could do was ask myself 3 questions. Why did my dream suddenly become a nightmare? Why did I let him do this to me? And the final question was this: Was that worth being with Dean for one night? I looked harder into the mirror, my make up smeared, my hair frizzed, my face red, my shirt had a blood stain on it from the "D" now written across me... claimed... as though I was his property or something... as if he marked his territory... ew... gross. But I know the answers to my questions. My dream went bad because I had to act like a slut and be left alone with him. If I wouldn't have asked him to come upstairs, this would have never happened. I let him do it to me because I was weak, and because he wouldn't let me go. Was it worth it? That's the one question I know for sure is 100% true. It wasn't worth it. Going through that wasn't worth it for any guy... ever.
I grabbed my cell phone, looking at the phone list. I highlighted my brother, Dylan's name, hoping maybe he would answer his cell. It rang once... rang twice... come on... pick up the phone. "Hello?" A voice said.
"Dylan... Hazel ditched me and I've been spending the past hour of this party trying to find her... can you come pick me up right now?"
"Sure, I'll be there in 10 minutes." He said, hanging up the phone. He brought us here, so I guess he remembers where it is. Out of all things I thought I'd hear in my head, I heard this one song that I always heard in my brother's room.
Will I lose my dignity
Will someone care
Will I wake tomorrow
From this nightmare
Those lyrics were from a song from his favorite musical, "Rent." I've never seen the musical before, but above that song, I hear his voice again... repeatedly.
"You are so adorable."
"I am?"
"You are so adorable."
"I am?"
Get out of my head! Go away, leave me alone! Tears started running down my face, I couldn't control it. I wiped them as I saw my brother's car come. "Paige, are you ok? You look... different."
"I'm find Dylan. I tripped and fell and cut myself a little bit. Lets go."
Yea... I fell alright... I fell for him, and that cut me a lot..
I walked in the door and went in the bathroom, taking a quick shower, seeing the "D" on my chest. It was scabbed, and I knew not to pick at it or else it would be there forever.
Crashhhh
What was that? I heard something... I turned around, looking around... WHERE IS HE? WHY IS HE FOLLOWING ME? GO AWAY! Please... leave me alone. I grabbed my towel, even if the water was still running in the bathroom. I wrapped the towel around my body, opening the door. There was a figure standing outside the door. It's him... it's him... go away... please leave me alone. Can't you leave me alone for one second? "WHO'S THERE?"
"It's me... what do you think?" I heard a voice... the only voice I heard was Dean.
"Stay back... you're not welcomed here Dean... go away!"
"Dean? Who is Dean? I know that sounds close to Dylan... the D and all sis, but I think you're starting to lose it. So much for a 'Thank you for picking me up and saving my life,' kind of thing."
"Right. Ok. Thank you Dylan." I grabbed my pajamas and ran into my room, closing the door, locking it, and putting all my body weight against it. I fell to the floor in tears, cold, shivering. I grabbed my blanket, and fell asleep there in front of the door. If I sit here, he can't come in. The window is closed and locked. He can't get me... he'll never get me again... I won't let him...
By: Jess Pete
Before I start the story I want to start this off. This is a very serious topic that I'm writing about, and those of you that find what I'm writing about funny should honestly go to hell because they have no heart. What happened to Paige in Degrassi is a very serious issue and is not to be taken lightly. If you know anyone that this has happened to, make sure they seek help, or find someone to talk to. If this happened to you, you can always talk to me about it. Talking helps people, let it out. Not to everyone, but find someone you can trust. I hope you all enjoy this. I don't own degrassi... some characters will eventually show that are my characters, but for now, nothing belongs to me! Most of the story line doesn't either.
Chapter 1: Recalling the crime
"What are you looking at?" I said to him, I saw him gazing at me.
"Your eyes... are they blue or green?" Dean said. Dean... so perfect. I never thought that a guy like him would ever ask me about my eyes.
"It depends on the light." I said, smiling at him.
"They are the most amazing colored eyes I've ever seen. You're very beautiful." He said to me. I smiled, and we locked in a gaze. We just looked at each other for a while, gazing into each others eyes. It was perfect. My shoes, my hair, my outfit. I looked totally delicious that night. I made a point, and I caught his eye. What can I say? I'm absolutely perfect! Suddenly, I felt someone tag down on me. It was Hazel.
"Paige... Spinner and Jimmy are here." she said to me. "We better go."
"Not yet... I am this close." I said. No, they're not going to get in my way of getting Dean's number and seeing him again. Nothing will. He will be mine. I turned around to Dean, looking at him.
"Dean... um... it's so loud out here. Wanna maybe go someplace a little more... private?" He smiled at me, taking my hand as we walked back in the house. We swerved our way through the crowd, as he wrapped his arm around my waist.
"You are so cute." He whispered into my ear, as I laughed. We walked past everyone, finally. I thought that everyone was looking at us... Good. I can't believe it. I am here... with Dean... DEAN! I was exploding inside, so full of eagerness, and excitement. "I think my friend's room will be... private." He said, as I followed him up the stairs, as we walked into a room. I reached out for the light switch, but he took my hand, pressing it back down on the light switch, turning the lights back off. "I like it dark." He said to me.
"But I can't see anything!" I said, bubbly.
"Here's my friend's bed, here's the door, and here's the party." He whispered to me.
"Why are we whispering?" I whispered back to him.
"Because my friends are neanderthals, ok?" He said.
"Ok" I replied back, happily. Suddenly, I felt him move closer to me, wrapping his arms around my waist, as he kissed me lightly, his lips caressing mine. Then he pulled back a little bit.
"You are so adorable." He told me, looking into my eyes. His eyes were beautiful, dark, mysterious, a new path to take... something new for me to explore.
"I am?" I said, knowing that I was and being completely modest.
"Oh yea." He said, with that, we kissed again, falling to the bed, kissing more. I felt myself stop for a minute, and he looked at me. "Is this ok?"
"No..." I started... then I said to myself... what am I saying? I want you holding me... a little kissing won't do anything but make him want me more. Be stern, show him that I'm in charge. "Yes..." I whimpered out, giving into the urge to have him in my arms. Then, he kissed me more passionately, putting all his force on me. "Just take it slow, Ok?" I said, as he just pushed on me more and more. "Dean! I said slow!" He finally sat up, his legs still on me. He reached into his pocket, as I looked at him. "What are you doing?" He took out a tiny bag from his pocket, a side that was white, the other side clear, which held a small rubber tube... a condom... Oh... no... I thought to myself. Ok, stay calm... don't let him see your fear, ok? "I don't think so!" I said, sternly. He didn't care... he pushed me back on the bed. "Dean, stop... I said no... please... dean... stop." He pushed me down harder on the bed this time, as he took my shirt off and threw it to the floor. He unhooked my bra and looked at my bare naked top. "Dean, get away from me." I tried kicking him, but then he pushed me down again, this time taking a knife out of his pocket. He lifted the knife to my chest, making a mark in between my two breasts. He made the shape of a "D", as he then kissed it, blood covering his lips.
"Now, that's what I like."
"You're a psycho!"
"I'm not crazy, you hear me?" He said, as he finally took off his pants completely. "You like this, don't you? Isn't this what you wanted? This is exactly what you wanted. We're having fun, so you should just enjoy it spirit."
"This is not fun, Dean, please... I'm begging you... don't do this to me."
It was too late. He hit me where it hurt. He entered me, and it hurt so bad. I felt pain rushing throughout the bottom of my body, I screeched a little bit, until he took a bandana he had in his pocket, and covered my mouth with it.
"Are you trying to get us caught, you little witch?" He said, as he slapped me in the face. I felt myself crying... this isn't what I wanted... I didn't want to get further than maybe making out... oh god... please help me... save me from this... pain... I saw silvery sparks throughout my eyes, as my final thought before I felt it was over...
This is what I deserved...
I woke up, looking at a clock... Oh shit... it's midnight... I looked next to me, and there was nothing... he was gone. That jerk wasn't here anymore. Go figure... that's like a male... he gets what he wants and then leave, taking everything he's had away from me... leaving me alone in the cold of this room. I grabbed my shirt, and put it back on, understanding why I was so cold. I checked my skirt, everything seemed ok. I walked into the bathroom, the next door from the room I was in, and looked at myself in the mirror. All I could do was ask myself 3 questions. Why did my dream suddenly become a nightmare? Why did I let him do this to me? And the final question was this: Was that worth being with Dean for one night? I looked harder into the mirror, my make up smeared, my hair frizzed, my face red, my shirt had a blood stain on it from the "D" now written across me... claimed... as though I was his property or something... as if he marked his territory... ew... gross. But I know the answers to my questions. My dream went bad because I had to act like a slut and be left alone with him. If I wouldn't have asked him to come upstairs, this would have never happened. I let him do it to me because I was weak, and because he wouldn't let me go. Was it worth it? That's the one question I know for sure is 100% true. It wasn't worth it. Going through that wasn't worth it for any guy... ever.
I grabbed my cell phone, looking at the phone list. I highlighted my brother, Dylan's name, hoping maybe he would answer his cell. It rang once... rang twice... come on... pick up the phone. "Hello?" A voice said.
"Dylan... Hazel ditched me and I've been spending the past hour of this party trying to find her... can you come pick me up right now?"
"Sure, I'll be there in 10 minutes." He said, hanging up the phone. He brought us here, so I guess he remembers where it is. Out of all things I thought I'd hear in my head, I heard this one song that I always heard in my brother's room.
Will I lose my dignity
Will someone care
Will I wake tomorrow
From this nightmare
Those lyrics were from a song from his favorite musical, "Rent." I've never seen the musical before, but above that song, I hear his voice again... repeatedly.
"You are so adorable."
"I am?"
"You are so adorable."
"I am?"
Get out of my head! Go away, leave me alone! Tears started running down my face, I couldn't control it. I wiped them as I saw my brother's car come. "Paige, are you ok? You look... different."
"I'm find Dylan. I tripped and fell and cut myself a little bit. Lets go."
Yea... I fell alright... I fell for him, and that cut me a lot..
I walked in the door and went in the bathroom, taking a quick shower, seeing the "D" on my chest. It was scabbed, and I knew not to pick at it or else it would be there forever.
Crashhhh
What was that? I heard something... I turned around, looking around... WHERE IS HE? WHY IS HE FOLLOWING ME? GO AWAY! Please... leave me alone. I grabbed my towel, even if the water was still running in the bathroom. I wrapped the towel around my body, opening the door. There was a figure standing outside the door. It's him... it's him... go away... please leave me alone. Can't you leave me alone for one second? "WHO'S THERE?"
"It's me... what do you think?" I heard a voice... the only voice I heard was Dean.
"Stay back... you're not welcomed here Dean... go away!"
"Dean? Who is Dean? I know that sounds close to Dylan... the D and all sis, but I think you're starting to lose it. So much for a 'Thank you for picking me up and saving my life,' kind of thing."
"Right. Ok. Thank you Dylan." I grabbed my pajamas and ran into my room, closing the door, locking it, and putting all my body weight against it. I fell to the floor in tears, cold, shivering. I grabbed my blanket, and fell asleep there in front of the door. If I sit here, he can't come in. The window is closed and locked. He can't get me... he'll never get me again... I won't let him...