Hello hello hello! I must say, I was very pleasantly surprised by the
number of awesome reviews I got on chapter 3 - thank you so much to all who
reviewed! Ah, my adoring public. *sniff* I love you guys. No, seriously.
You guys are the best.
Man, I am like walking on sunshine right now.see, this guy I have the biggest crush on (CHUCK!) went to homecoming with me on Saturday, and we danced together the whole time, and everyone was saying how beautiful I looked cuz I got this really great hairdo right before homecoming, and now I'm hoping against all hope that maybe he might be falling for me!!! I dunno though.But a girl can dream, right? Okay, I've bored you long enough. On with the fic.
~
Oxnard: I'm hungry. *BUUUUUUUUUUUUURP*
Boss: You just ate two logs, seven pizzas, a pair of scissors, the entire table, an ostrich egg, and a bottle of dishwasher soap.
Oxnard: I did? *a bunch of little soap bubbles float out of his mouth* Well I'm still hungry.
Hamtaro: Speaking of food I'm getting a little peckish myself.
Boss: Then bake something!
Oxnard&Hamtaro: OKAY!!! *they go in the kitchen (does the clubhouse have a kitchen?) to prepare something to eat*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~In the kitchen~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hamtaro: Okay. First things first. We gotta fire this baby up.
Oxnard: You mean the chainsaw you're holding?
Hamtaro: Huh? Where'd that come from? *tosses the chainsaw behind him* No, I meant the oven.
Oxnard: Do we even know what we're gonna bake?
Hamtaro: Yeeeeeeeeeaaaaaahhhh....no. Well...how about some lizard tail soup?
Oxnard: Don't make me sick.
Hamtaro: I was just kidding. How about...BAKED HAMSTER??? *grabs Oxnard and pretends he's gonna shove him in the oven*
Oxnard: NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! I ALWAYS FORESAW MYSELF DYING THIS WAY!!!!! *sobbing*
Hamtaro: Geez, it was just a joke.
Oxnard: Oh. Phew. *starts chuckling embarassedly and puts his paw on the stove*
Hamtaro: Uh...Oxnard?
Oxnard: Yeah?
Hamtaro: I turned on the stove.
Oxnard: What's your point?
*Hamtaro looks at Oxnard, then at the heated stove, then back at Oxnard*
*Oxnard slowly turns his head and sees his paw resting on the hot stove*
*Momentary silence in which Oxnard puts two and two together*
Oxnard: OOOOOOOWWWWWW OOOOOOOHHHHHHH HOT HOT HOT!!!
*Oxnard starts running around like crazy, holding his paw which has turned red*
Oxnard: SOMEONE HELP!!! MY PAW IS BURNING!!! NEED WATER!!!
Hamtaro: Here ya go! *holds out a bucket of liquid*
Oxnard: *sucking on his paw* OOHH!! THANK GOODNESS!!! *puts his paw in the bucket*
Hamtaro: HAHAHA! THAT'S REALLY GASOLINE!!! *lights a match*
Oxnard: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
Hamtaro: I was just kidding. *throws the match over his shoulder, while it is still burning*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Back in the other room~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dexter: Is it just me or does it smell like something's burning?
Howdy: They just went in there, how could they have burnt something already?
Dexter: Well I definitely smell smoke.
Boss: I don't. You're probably imagining it.
Dexter: Whatever.
*ten seconds pass and then a huge flame shoots out of the kitchen*
Hamtaro: DANGIT!
Oxnard: @!#$%^&*!
Boss: WHAT THE HEKE HAPPENED???
*Hamtaro and Oxnard run out of the kitchen*
Hamtaro: Oxnard caught the chicken on fire!!!
Oxnard: NO I DIDN'T!!! IT WAS HAMTARO!!! HE LIT THE MATCH!!!!
Boss: Where'd you get a chicken from?
Bijou: HOLY COW HAMTARO YOUR EAR IS ON FIRE!!! LET ME PUT IT OUT WITH MY MOUTH!!! *starts kissing Hamtaro on the mouth*
Hamtaro: BIJOU THAT ISN'T MY EAR!!!
Bijou: Oops. Sorry.
*then a burning chicken runs out of the kitchen*
Chicken: BWAAAAAK!!!
Stan: HOLY COW THAT CHICKEN IS ON FIRE!!!
Hamtaro: I TOLD YOU!!!
Dexter: I KNEW SOMETHING WAS BURNING!!!
Boss: WHY IS EVERYONE SCREAMING???
Oxnard: EVERYONE SHUT UP!!!
*everyone including the chicken shuts up*
Oxnard: That's better.
Boss: What do we do with the chicken?
Hamtaro: We should probably put it out.
Howdy: Good idea. I'll get the door.
Hamtaro: *sweatdrop* I meant put the fire out.
Howdy: What does that got to do with the chicken?
Hamtaro: THE FIRE ON THE CHICKEN!!!
Howdy: There's a fire on the chicken?
*Dexter smashes a pizza box over Howdy's head*
Hamtaro: Thanks.
Dexter: Don't thank me, thank Oxnard. He's the one who ate all the pizzas.
*Oxnard is trying to put out the fire with a hose that appeared out of nowhere*
Hamtaro: Okay, then, thanks Ox- where'd that hose come from?
Oxnard: Panda built it.
Panda: ^_^
Hamtaro: Yeah?
Panda: Yep. Now I'm working on a jet pack, a cloning device, a super computer and an electronic mushroom detector.
Hamtaro: Mushroom detector?
Panda: Yeah, why not?
Hamtaro: I like mushrooms. They taste like mushrooms.
Genie: Ack! I hate mushrooms. They taste bad.
Hamtaro: Where the heck did you come from?
Genie: I'm the author of this fic. That means I can write myself in anywhere I want to. Oh, btw, right now I'm in my hamster form. Which means I'm tan with a dark brown pattern above my eyes similar to that of Maxwell, and I have a few stray strands of fur hanging down in front of my eyes. Plus, I'm wearing my awesome poofy hat that I never take off except to go to bed and school, since we're not allowed to wear hats at school. Such a stupid rule. I hate it.
Hamtaro: SHUT UP!!! YOU'RE BORING YOUR FANS!!!
Genie: SORRY!!! Geez.
Hamtaro: Well as long as you're here, since you wrote this fic...what the heck do we do with this flaming chicken???
Genie: Oh, that? I'll get rid of it for you. *whips out a huge gun and shoots the chicken with it, which dissolves into nothing*
(Man, I've always wanted a huge gun! Now I have one.)
Hamtaro: AHHH!! YOU KILLED IT!!!
Genie: No, I merely sent it back into the realm of fanfiction, where all ideas are born. If I wanted to I could bring it back at any time.
Hamtaro: Oh. Okay.
Genie: Okay. I'm gonna leave you guys in peace now. On with the fic.
Everyone: BYE GENIE!!!
Genie: Ta-ta. *disappears*
*Confused silence*
Boss: That was weird.
Oxnard: I'm not hungry anymore.
Pashmina: Has anyone noticed that I haven't appeared in this chapter yet?
Penelope: OOKWEE!!! (same here!)
Boss: Well you have now. Hmm...who else are we missing?
Cappy: I can't believe everyone forgot me!!!
Boss: Oh yeah. Cappy. Now everyone's here, right?
Hamtaro: Hold on. What about Sandy and Maxwell?
Stan: Dude, like, they're on their honeymoon.
Hamtaro: The moon is made of honey??? And they're on it???
Everyone: *sweatdrop*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Somewhere in Hawaii~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sandy: Like, this was such a good place for a honeymoon, Maxy.
Maxwell: Thanks. I did some research, and I think this is about the best spot in Hawaii. Great view, no?
Sandy: Totally! I just hope you're right that this volcano we're sitting on isn't active.
Maxwell: Don't worry, it hasn't erupted in thousands of years.
Sandy: Good. I love you, Max. You're so smart.
Maxwell: *blushes*
*They schmubby-wubby*
Sandy: Hold on. You hear something?
Maxwell: Hmm?
Sandy: It sounds strangely like a volcano about to erupt. Not that I've ever heard one before.
Maxwell: That's weird. I'm sure it's nothing.
Sandy: Okay then...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Back at the clubhouse~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*Everything is pretty much back to normal, and everyone is going back to doing the usual...*
Bijou: Psst. Hey, Hamtaro.
Hamtaro: Mmmmm yeah?
Bijou: You know when I kissed you earlier?
Hamtaro: Mmmmm yeah?
Bijou: I did that on purpose.
Hamtaro: Mmmmm yeah?
Bijou: Yeah. Instead of kissing your ear. I kissed your mouth. Cuz that's where you generally kiss.
Hamtaro: Mmmmm yeah?
Bijou: So you see what I'm saying?
Hamtaro: Mmmmm yeah no?
Bijou: THERE WAS LOVE THERE!!! I LOVE YOU HAMTARO!!!!
Hamtaro: Mmmmm yeah?
Bijou: YES!!!
Hamtaro: Mmmmm yeah?
Bijou: I GIVE UP!!!
Hamtaro: *in slow motion* Wwwwwwaaaaaiiiiiittttt Bbbbbbiiiiijjjjjjjoooooouuuuuuu....
Bijou: *also in slow motion* Yyyyyyeeeesssss Hhhhhhaaaammmmttttaaaaarrrrroooooo?
Hamtaro: *still in slow motion* Iiiiiiiii llllloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.....
Boss: Oooooookkkkkkkkaaaaaaaayyyyy, wwwwwwhhhhhhhhhoooooooo ttttttuuuuuuuuurrrrrrnnnnnnnnneeeeedddddd oooooonnnnnnn tttttthhhhhhhheeeeeee sssssllllllooooooowwwww mmmmmmmmooooooootttttttiiiiiiiiiooooooooonnnnnnnnn?
Cappy: *turns off the slow motion* I did, cuz everyone is ignoring me!
Genie: Don't worry Cappy, we still love you.
Cappy: Go away.
Genie: Okay. *vanishes*
Hamtaro: Okay, so as I was saying um.....Bijou I love...I love...I love...
Bijou: *thinking* Here it comes....
Hamtaro: I LOVE MEXICAN HAT DANCES!!! *whips a sombrero out of nowhere, grabs Bijou by the paw and starts doing a Mexican hat dance with her*
Bijou: O....kay.....
Boss: *turns off the Mexican hat dance music*
Hamtaro: Dang.
Bijou: Umm...I should probably be going...
Hamtaro: No wait! Bijou, will you marry me???
Bijou: WHAT!!! REALLY???
Hamtaro: Ummm ahhh yeah. *holds out a ring*
Bijou: *hugs Hamtaro* OF COURSE I WILL!!!
Everyone (including Boss): HURRAY!!!
Bijou: Huh? Why are you so happy Boss?
Boss: HAHAHA!!! CUZ I NEVER REALLY LOVED YOU AT ALL!!!! BUT I THOUGHT IT WOULD CRUSH YOU IF I TOLD YOU THAT!!! AND NOW THAT YOU'RE MARRYING HAMTARO IT DOESN'T MATTER!!!
Everyone: Seriously?
Boss: Um...no, actually, I did kinda have a thing for Bijou...but now...I have a new, SECRET crush!
Everyone: WHO???
Boss: If I told ya it wouldn't be a secret now would it? HAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Genie: Don't worry, the truth will be revealed! (even if not this chapter)
Hamtaro: So when do you wanna get married, Bij?
Bijou: How about NOW???
Hamtaro: OKAY!!!
~This time they successfully find a church to hold their wedding in - now, AT THE CHURCH~~
Bijou: Dang. One problem.
Hamtaro: Heke?
Bijou: We don't have a priest. Neither Jingle nor that mail-ham dude is here.
Hamtaro: Did you just say 'dude'?
Stan: Hahaha. I guess a little of me did rub off on Bijou!
Bijou: Stan, did you know that if you had proposed to me first I would have said yes?
Stan: REALLY???
Bijou: No.
Everyone: HAHAHAHA not. That was lame.
Boss: Hold on a sec. Where's Dexter?
Pashmina: He went to a monastery.
Boss: A mona-whatsy?
Pashmina: It's where you learn to be a monk.
Boss: Dexter's becoming a monk?
Pashmina: Apparently. I have no idea why.
Penelope: Ookyoo!
Bijou: WAIT!!! THIS IS PERFECT!!! DEXTER CAN BE OUR PRIEST!!!
Pashmina: I dunno if monks can just become priets, just like that...
Bijou: Does it really matter? Jingle and mail-ham aren't priests either. A monk is the closest thing we can come up with.
Cappy: Does that mean the fridges weren't officially married???
Stan: And what about Sandy and Maxwell??
Bijou: I don't think it really matters.
*Just then Sandy and Maxwell run by followed by a river of lava*
Everyone: HOLY GOODNESS!!!
Sandy: Hey! It's the hams!
*Sandy, Maxwell, and the river of lava all freeze*
Sandy: Hi guys!
Maxwell: We're being chased by a river of lava.
Sandy: Yeah, cuz Mr. Iamsosmart here thought the volcana was dead, but it really wasn't!
Maxwell: It was supposedly inactive, but these things happen sometimes!
Sandy: Oh yeah, blame it on the media.
Maxwell: Did I say anything about the media?
Sandy: Oh, shut up and keep running.
*Sandy and Maxwell start running again, followed by the lava*
Boss: Ah, the petty arguments of married couples.
Pashmina: They'll get over it.
Panda: Dun dun DUN!!! Panda to the rescue! *whips out a jetpack* I just finished this project. Hope it works. *straps on the jetpack and takes off after Sandy and Maxwell*
*Just then Dexter walks up, wearing a monk robe*
Howdy: Well howdy do, look who's back from monk school.
Everyone: HI DEXTER!
*Dexter says something in sign language*
Boss: What the heck was that?
Howdy: Hold on, I can read sign language. Say again?
*Dexter says something in sign language again*
Howdy: Apparently he took a vow of silence.
Hamtaro: WHAT!!!
Bijou: Well so much for having him as a minister.
*Dexter signs something else*
Howdy: Apparently he was going to get kicked out of the monastery if he didn't.
*Dexter signs again*
Howdy: Yeah, Hamtaro and Bij are getting married and they wanted you to be their minister.
Dexter: ???
Howdy: Maxwell and Sandy? They're being chased by a raging river of lava and Panda is trying to rescue them.
Dexter: !!!
Howdy: I dunno, lemme ask. Hey Hamtaro, Dexter wants to know if he can still be your priest and I can be the interpreter?
Hamtaro: I dun see why not.
Bijou: Shouldn't we wait for the others to get back?
*just then something shoots across the sky way above their heads and you can hear Panda's voice saying 'I wasn't planning on this happening!'*
*then there's an explosion and Panda, Sandy and Maxwell fall out of the sky*
Panda: Ow.
Maxwell: Ouch.
Sandy: Like, ow!
Howdy: You guys ready for this wedding or what?
Maxwell: Wedding?
Bijou: Oui, Hamtaro and I are getting married!
Hamtaro: Dexter's our priest. But he took a vow of silence. So Howdy's our interpreter.
Bijou: Okay, let's get it on!
Hamtaro: You really don't sound like yourself today, Bij.
Bijou: Sorry.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~After all the preparations are made...~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dexter: !!!
Howdy: We are gathered here today...
Dexter: !!!
Howdy: To witness the union...
Dexter: !!!
Howdy: Of two -
Hamtaro: THIS IS GONNA TAKE FOREVER!!!
Bijou: Be polite.
Hamtaro: Can we skip to the marriage vows?
Dexter: No, you can't! Oh crap. *covers his mouth*
*Then some random hamster in a habit (I think that's what you call those things monks wear?) appears*
Random hamster: Dexter, you're kicked out of the monastery.
Dexter: Oh well.
Random hamster: That didn't last long, did it?
Dexter: Nope.
Random hamster: Hmm?
Dexter: I mean, no, father...wait, if I'm kicked out of the monstery do I still have to call you 'father'?
Random hamster: Uh, I'm your actual father.
Dexter: WHAT???
Random hamster: Just kidding.
Genie: Okay, this fic is getting off on some really pointless tangent, so could we please get back to the wedding.
Dexter: Right. Sorry.
Genie: And this story is getting a little old, and long, and I'm getting tired of typing, so could we please get to the vows?
Dexter: Fine, whatever.
Howdy: Does this mean I lost my job.
Dexter: Yeah.
Howdy: Dang.
Dexter: Okay, do you, Hamtaro, take Bijou to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, bla bla bla till death do you part?
Hamtaro: I do I do I do!
Dexter: And do you, Bijou, take Hamtaro to be your lawfully wedded husband, to dominate and control, to rule over and -
Hamtaro: HEY!!! THAT'S NOT HOW IT GOES!!!
Bijou: I do.
Dexter: The rings?
Hamtaro: Yeah.
*Hamtaro and Bijou put the wedding rings on each others' fingers*
Dexter: I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride.
*Hamtaro and Bijou kiss*
Everyone: YAY!!!
Dexter: And now...RICE!!!
*Everyone gets a bunch of rice out of nowhere and throws it all at Hamtaro and Bijou*
Oxnard: ARGH! HUNGRY AGAIN!!! *starts eating the rice off the floor*
Everyone: Eeew.
Oxnard: I don't care! It's better than lizard-tail soup or baked hamster or burnt chicken!!!
*So everyone shrugs and starts eating the rice. I mean, what else are you gonna do with it???*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well, that's the end of chapter 4. I know it was kind of a strange ending, but there will be more, I promise! Okay, in this chappie I used ideas from Alyssa8 and Jonathan the Caveham. Thank-Q for the ideas, guys! For all your support, I have decided to turn this into a kind of interactive fic! Anyone who reads this fic can send me ideas to put in it, either via reviews or via email, and I'll try to use all of them in the next chapter! Thanks again for the reviews, and keep 'em coming!
Man, I am like walking on sunshine right now.see, this guy I have the biggest crush on (CHUCK!) went to homecoming with me on Saturday, and we danced together the whole time, and everyone was saying how beautiful I looked cuz I got this really great hairdo right before homecoming, and now I'm hoping against all hope that maybe he might be falling for me!!! I dunno though.But a girl can dream, right? Okay, I've bored you long enough. On with the fic.
~
Oxnard: I'm hungry. *BUUUUUUUUUUUUURP*
Boss: You just ate two logs, seven pizzas, a pair of scissors, the entire table, an ostrich egg, and a bottle of dishwasher soap.
Oxnard: I did? *a bunch of little soap bubbles float out of his mouth* Well I'm still hungry.
Hamtaro: Speaking of food I'm getting a little peckish myself.
Boss: Then bake something!
Oxnard&Hamtaro: OKAY!!! *they go in the kitchen (does the clubhouse have a kitchen?) to prepare something to eat*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~In the kitchen~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hamtaro: Okay. First things first. We gotta fire this baby up.
Oxnard: You mean the chainsaw you're holding?
Hamtaro: Huh? Where'd that come from? *tosses the chainsaw behind him* No, I meant the oven.
Oxnard: Do we even know what we're gonna bake?
Hamtaro: Yeeeeeeeeeaaaaaahhhh....no. Well...how about some lizard tail soup?
Oxnard: Don't make me sick.
Hamtaro: I was just kidding. How about...BAKED HAMSTER??? *grabs Oxnard and pretends he's gonna shove him in the oven*
Oxnard: NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! I ALWAYS FORESAW MYSELF DYING THIS WAY!!!!! *sobbing*
Hamtaro: Geez, it was just a joke.
Oxnard: Oh. Phew. *starts chuckling embarassedly and puts his paw on the stove*
Hamtaro: Uh...Oxnard?
Oxnard: Yeah?
Hamtaro: I turned on the stove.
Oxnard: What's your point?
*Hamtaro looks at Oxnard, then at the heated stove, then back at Oxnard*
*Oxnard slowly turns his head and sees his paw resting on the hot stove*
*Momentary silence in which Oxnard puts two and two together*
Oxnard: OOOOOOOWWWWWW OOOOOOOHHHHHHH HOT HOT HOT!!!
*Oxnard starts running around like crazy, holding his paw which has turned red*
Oxnard: SOMEONE HELP!!! MY PAW IS BURNING!!! NEED WATER!!!
Hamtaro: Here ya go! *holds out a bucket of liquid*
Oxnard: *sucking on his paw* OOHH!! THANK GOODNESS!!! *puts his paw in the bucket*
Hamtaro: HAHAHA! THAT'S REALLY GASOLINE!!! *lights a match*
Oxnard: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
Hamtaro: I was just kidding. *throws the match over his shoulder, while it is still burning*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Back in the other room~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dexter: Is it just me or does it smell like something's burning?
Howdy: They just went in there, how could they have burnt something already?
Dexter: Well I definitely smell smoke.
Boss: I don't. You're probably imagining it.
Dexter: Whatever.
*ten seconds pass and then a huge flame shoots out of the kitchen*
Hamtaro: DANGIT!
Oxnard: @!#$%^&*!
Boss: WHAT THE HEKE HAPPENED???
*Hamtaro and Oxnard run out of the kitchen*
Hamtaro: Oxnard caught the chicken on fire!!!
Oxnard: NO I DIDN'T!!! IT WAS HAMTARO!!! HE LIT THE MATCH!!!!
Boss: Where'd you get a chicken from?
Bijou: HOLY COW HAMTARO YOUR EAR IS ON FIRE!!! LET ME PUT IT OUT WITH MY MOUTH!!! *starts kissing Hamtaro on the mouth*
Hamtaro: BIJOU THAT ISN'T MY EAR!!!
Bijou: Oops. Sorry.
*then a burning chicken runs out of the kitchen*
Chicken: BWAAAAAK!!!
Stan: HOLY COW THAT CHICKEN IS ON FIRE!!!
Hamtaro: I TOLD YOU!!!
Dexter: I KNEW SOMETHING WAS BURNING!!!
Boss: WHY IS EVERYONE SCREAMING???
Oxnard: EVERYONE SHUT UP!!!
*everyone including the chicken shuts up*
Oxnard: That's better.
Boss: What do we do with the chicken?
Hamtaro: We should probably put it out.
Howdy: Good idea. I'll get the door.
Hamtaro: *sweatdrop* I meant put the fire out.
Howdy: What does that got to do with the chicken?
Hamtaro: THE FIRE ON THE CHICKEN!!!
Howdy: There's a fire on the chicken?
*Dexter smashes a pizza box over Howdy's head*
Hamtaro: Thanks.
Dexter: Don't thank me, thank Oxnard. He's the one who ate all the pizzas.
*Oxnard is trying to put out the fire with a hose that appeared out of nowhere*
Hamtaro: Okay, then, thanks Ox- where'd that hose come from?
Oxnard: Panda built it.
Panda: ^_^
Hamtaro: Yeah?
Panda: Yep. Now I'm working on a jet pack, a cloning device, a super computer and an electronic mushroom detector.
Hamtaro: Mushroom detector?
Panda: Yeah, why not?
Hamtaro: I like mushrooms. They taste like mushrooms.
Genie: Ack! I hate mushrooms. They taste bad.
Hamtaro: Where the heck did you come from?
Genie: I'm the author of this fic. That means I can write myself in anywhere I want to. Oh, btw, right now I'm in my hamster form. Which means I'm tan with a dark brown pattern above my eyes similar to that of Maxwell, and I have a few stray strands of fur hanging down in front of my eyes. Plus, I'm wearing my awesome poofy hat that I never take off except to go to bed and school, since we're not allowed to wear hats at school. Such a stupid rule. I hate it.
Hamtaro: SHUT UP!!! YOU'RE BORING YOUR FANS!!!
Genie: SORRY!!! Geez.
Hamtaro: Well as long as you're here, since you wrote this fic...what the heck do we do with this flaming chicken???
Genie: Oh, that? I'll get rid of it for you. *whips out a huge gun and shoots the chicken with it, which dissolves into nothing*
(Man, I've always wanted a huge gun! Now I have one.)
Hamtaro: AHHH!! YOU KILLED IT!!!
Genie: No, I merely sent it back into the realm of fanfiction, where all ideas are born. If I wanted to I could bring it back at any time.
Hamtaro: Oh. Okay.
Genie: Okay. I'm gonna leave you guys in peace now. On with the fic.
Everyone: BYE GENIE!!!
Genie: Ta-ta. *disappears*
*Confused silence*
Boss: That was weird.
Oxnard: I'm not hungry anymore.
Pashmina: Has anyone noticed that I haven't appeared in this chapter yet?
Penelope: OOKWEE!!! (same here!)
Boss: Well you have now. Hmm...who else are we missing?
Cappy: I can't believe everyone forgot me!!!
Boss: Oh yeah. Cappy. Now everyone's here, right?
Hamtaro: Hold on. What about Sandy and Maxwell?
Stan: Dude, like, they're on their honeymoon.
Hamtaro: The moon is made of honey??? And they're on it???
Everyone: *sweatdrop*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Somewhere in Hawaii~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sandy: Like, this was such a good place for a honeymoon, Maxy.
Maxwell: Thanks. I did some research, and I think this is about the best spot in Hawaii. Great view, no?
Sandy: Totally! I just hope you're right that this volcano we're sitting on isn't active.
Maxwell: Don't worry, it hasn't erupted in thousands of years.
Sandy: Good. I love you, Max. You're so smart.
Maxwell: *blushes*
*They schmubby-wubby*
Sandy: Hold on. You hear something?
Maxwell: Hmm?
Sandy: It sounds strangely like a volcano about to erupt. Not that I've ever heard one before.
Maxwell: That's weird. I'm sure it's nothing.
Sandy: Okay then...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Back at the clubhouse~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*Everything is pretty much back to normal, and everyone is going back to doing the usual...*
Bijou: Psst. Hey, Hamtaro.
Hamtaro: Mmmmm yeah?
Bijou: You know when I kissed you earlier?
Hamtaro: Mmmmm yeah?
Bijou: I did that on purpose.
Hamtaro: Mmmmm yeah?
Bijou: Yeah. Instead of kissing your ear. I kissed your mouth. Cuz that's where you generally kiss.
Hamtaro: Mmmmm yeah?
Bijou: So you see what I'm saying?
Hamtaro: Mmmmm yeah no?
Bijou: THERE WAS LOVE THERE!!! I LOVE YOU HAMTARO!!!!
Hamtaro: Mmmmm yeah?
Bijou: YES!!!
Hamtaro: Mmmmm yeah?
Bijou: I GIVE UP!!!
Hamtaro: *in slow motion* Wwwwwwaaaaaiiiiiittttt Bbbbbbiiiiijjjjjjjoooooouuuuuuu....
Bijou: *also in slow motion* Yyyyyyeeeesssss Hhhhhhaaaammmmttttaaaaarrrrroooooo?
Hamtaro: *still in slow motion* Iiiiiiiii llllloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.....
Boss: Oooooookkkkkkkkaaaaaaaayyyyy, wwwwwwhhhhhhhhhoooooooo ttttttuuuuuuuuurrrrrrnnnnnnnnneeeeedddddd oooooonnnnnnn tttttthhhhhhhheeeeeee sssssllllllooooooowwwww mmmmmmmmooooooootttttttiiiiiiiiiooooooooonnnnnnnnn?
Cappy: *turns off the slow motion* I did, cuz everyone is ignoring me!
Genie: Don't worry Cappy, we still love you.
Cappy: Go away.
Genie: Okay. *vanishes*
Hamtaro: Okay, so as I was saying um.....Bijou I love...I love...I love...
Bijou: *thinking* Here it comes....
Hamtaro: I LOVE MEXICAN HAT DANCES!!! *whips a sombrero out of nowhere, grabs Bijou by the paw and starts doing a Mexican hat dance with her*
Bijou: O....kay.....
Boss: *turns off the Mexican hat dance music*
Hamtaro: Dang.
Bijou: Umm...I should probably be going...
Hamtaro: No wait! Bijou, will you marry me???
Bijou: WHAT!!! REALLY???
Hamtaro: Ummm ahhh yeah. *holds out a ring*
Bijou: *hugs Hamtaro* OF COURSE I WILL!!!
Everyone (including Boss): HURRAY!!!
Bijou: Huh? Why are you so happy Boss?
Boss: HAHAHA!!! CUZ I NEVER REALLY LOVED YOU AT ALL!!!! BUT I THOUGHT IT WOULD CRUSH YOU IF I TOLD YOU THAT!!! AND NOW THAT YOU'RE MARRYING HAMTARO IT DOESN'T MATTER!!!
Everyone: Seriously?
Boss: Um...no, actually, I did kinda have a thing for Bijou...but now...I have a new, SECRET crush!
Everyone: WHO???
Boss: If I told ya it wouldn't be a secret now would it? HAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Genie: Don't worry, the truth will be revealed! (even if not this chapter)
Hamtaro: So when do you wanna get married, Bij?
Bijou: How about NOW???
Hamtaro: OKAY!!!
~This time they successfully find a church to hold their wedding in - now, AT THE CHURCH~~
Bijou: Dang. One problem.
Hamtaro: Heke?
Bijou: We don't have a priest. Neither Jingle nor that mail-ham dude is here.
Hamtaro: Did you just say 'dude'?
Stan: Hahaha. I guess a little of me did rub off on Bijou!
Bijou: Stan, did you know that if you had proposed to me first I would have said yes?
Stan: REALLY???
Bijou: No.
Everyone: HAHAHAHA not. That was lame.
Boss: Hold on a sec. Where's Dexter?
Pashmina: He went to a monastery.
Boss: A mona-whatsy?
Pashmina: It's where you learn to be a monk.
Boss: Dexter's becoming a monk?
Pashmina: Apparently. I have no idea why.
Penelope: Ookyoo!
Bijou: WAIT!!! THIS IS PERFECT!!! DEXTER CAN BE OUR PRIEST!!!
Pashmina: I dunno if monks can just become priets, just like that...
Bijou: Does it really matter? Jingle and mail-ham aren't priests either. A monk is the closest thing we can come up with.
Cappy: Does that mean the fridges weren't officially married???
Stan: And what about Sandy and Maxwell??
Bijou: I don't think it really matters.
*Just then Sandy and Maxwell run by followed by a river of lava*
Everyone: HOLY GOODNESS!!!
Sandy: Hey! It's the hams!
*Sandy, Maxwell, and the river of lava all freeze*
Sandy: Hi guys!
Maxwell: We're being chased by a river of lava.
Sandy: Yeah, cuz Mr. Iamsosmart here thought the volcana was dead, but it really wasn't!
Maxwell: It was supposedly inactive, but these things happen sometimes!
Sandy: Oh yeah, blame it on the media.
Maxwell: Did I say anything about the media?
Sandy: Oh, shut up and keep running.
*Sandy and Maxwell start running again, followed by the lava*
Boss: Ah, the petty arguments of married couples.
Pashmina: They'll get over it.
Panda: Dun dun DUN!!! Panda to the rescue! *whips out a jetpack* I just finished this project. Hope it works. *straps on the jetpack and takes off after Sandy and Maxwell*
*Just then Dexter walks up, wearing a monk robe*
Howdy: Well howdy do, look who's back from monk school.
Everyone: HI DEXTER!
*Dexter says something in sign language*
Boss: What the heck was that?
Howdy: Hold on, I can read sign language. Say again?
*Dexter says something in sign language again*
Howdy: Apparently he took a vow of silence.
Hamtaro: WHAT!!!
Bijou: Well so much for having him as a minister.
*Dexter signs something else*
Howdy: Apparently he was going to get kicked out of the monastery if he didn't.
*Dexter signs again*
Howdy: Yeah, Hamtaro and Bij are getting married and they wanted you to be their minister.
Dexter: ???
Howdy: Maxwell and Sandy? They're being chased by a raging river of lava and Panda is trying to rescue them.
Dexter: !!!
Howdy: I dunno, lemme ask. Hey Hamtaro, Dexter wants to know if he can still be your priest and I can be the interpreter?
Hamtaro: I dun see why not.
Bijou: Shouldn't we wait for the others to get back?
*just then something shoots across the sky way above their heads and you can hear Panda's voice saying 'I wasn't planning on this happening!'*
*then there's an explosion and Panda, Sandy and Maxwell fall out of the sky*
Panda: Ow.
Maxwell: Ouch.
Sandy: Like, ow!
Howdy: You guys ready for this wedding or what?
Maxwell: Wedding?
Bijou: Oui, Hamtaro and I are getting married!
Hamtaro: Dexter's our priest. But he took a vow of silence. So Howdy's our interpreter.
Bijou: Okay, let's get it on!
Hamtaro: You really don't sound like yourself today, Bij.
Bijou: Sorry.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~After all the preparations are made...~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dexter: !!!
Howdy: We are gathered here today...
Dexter: !!!
Howdy: To witness the union...
Dexter: !!!
Howdy: Of two -
Hamtaro: THIS IS GONNA TAKE FOREVER!!!
Bijou: Be polite.
Hamtaro: Can we skip to the marriage vows?
Dexter: No, you can't! Oh crap. *covers his mouth*
*Then some random hamster in a habit (I think that's what you call those things monks wear?) appears*
Random hamster: Dexter, you're kicked out of the monastery.
Dexter: Oh well.
Random hamster: That didn't last long, did it?
Dexter: Nope.
Random hamster: Hmm?
Dexter: I mean, no, father...wait, if I'm kicked out of the monstery do I still have to call you 'father'?
Random hamster: Uh, I'm your actual father.
Dexter: WHAT???
Random hamster: Just kidding.
Genie: Okay, this fic is getting off on some really pointless tangent, so could we please get back to the wedding.
Dexter: Right. Sorry.
Genie: And this story is getting a little old, and long, and I'm getting tired of typing, so could we please get to the vows?
Dexter: Fine, whatever.
Howdy: Does this mean I lost my job.
Dexter: Yeah.
Howdy: Dang.
Dexter: Okay, do you, Hamtaro, take Bijou to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, bla bla bla till death do you part?
Hamtaro: I do I do I do!
Dexter: And do you, Bijou, take Hamtaro to be your lawfully wedded husband, to dominate and control, to rule over and -
Hamtaro: HEY!!! THAT'S NOT HOW IT GOES!!!
Bijou: I do.
Dexter: The rings?
Hamtaro: Yeah.
*Hamtaro and Bijou put the wedding rings on each others' fingers*
Dexter: I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride.
*Hamtaro and Bijou kiss*
Everyone: YAY!!!
Dexter: And now...RICE!!!
*Everyone gets a bunch of rice out of nowhere and throws it all at Hamtaro and Bijou*
Oxnard: ARGH! HUNGRY AGAIN!!! *starts eating the rice off the floor*
Everyone: Eeew.
Oxnard: I don't care! It's better than lizard-tail soup or baked hamster or burnt chicken!!!
*So everyone shrugs and starts eating the rice. I mean, what else are you gonna do with it???*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well, that's the end of chapter 4. I know it was kind of a strange ending, but there will be more, I promise! Okay, in this chappie I used ideas from Alyssa8 and Jonathan the Caveham. Thank-Q for the ideas, guys! For all your support, I have decided to turn this into a kind of interactive fic! Anyone who reads this fic can send me ideas to put in it, either via reviews or via email, and I'll try to use all of them in the next chapter! Thanks again for the reviews, and keep 'em coming!