Man, I love you guys. All of my readers. You guys are the bestest...est! I
mean, I actually have two people practically BEGGING me to continue this
fic (heheheh...u kno who u r, Animegirl0014 and Numbuh 7! lol ^_^) and like
trillions of other people who have at least put in a nice word or two. I
feel so loved!!! So anyhow, thank-Q to all my loyal reviewers and readers.
Also, a mega-Q thank-Q (wow! i used 2 hamchat words in a sentence!) to my wondachu (3!!!) fans who sent in ideas for this chappie. That would be *drumroll please* Animegirl0014 (you're seriously my biggest fan for this fic! love ya chika!), KirbyKat (hey, you said your brain wasn't working, but i think that banana of doom idea came out pretty good!), and my main woman Numbuh 7 (we have the weirdest convos, don't we?)!!! Thank-Q again, and keep 'em coming!
Another note: The reason I changed the rating of this fic to PG is because I used the word 'hell.' Frankly, I don't think the word 'hell' is really a cuss word when used in its literal sense, that is, meaning the place opposite of heaven (heck, i dare you to go through the Bible and count how many times the word 'hell' is in there!! lol). But I didn't want anyone to complain and say that i cussed so I should have changed the rating, so i saved myself the trouble by going ahead and changing it. Yeah.
Also: This is a message for HamtaroLover96 (if you're reading this). I saw that you apologized to Jonathan for cussing him out, and he accepted your apology, so I guess I should apologize too. I did mean what I said about you being mean to him and how you shouldn't cuss him out for sending you a bunch of good reviews. But I guess I did overdo it a little...so sorry if I hurt your feelings. Now that things have been set straight between you and him, I hope you aren't too mad at me and that you'll accept my apology and my offer to be friends. I seriously don't want to go making any enemies here at ff.net. So, sorry for the flame, I know I went a little overboard and I hope you forgive me. Besides, even though I did flame you, you still sent me a nice review. Friends?
And finally...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~SHOUT-OUT TIME!!!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Okay, I promised to give a shout-out to anyone who guessed the horror movie from the last chapter correctly, so here we go:
YAY 4 NUMBUH 7!!!!! Would you believe this girl actually went to three search engines looking for the answer (before finally getting it from her brother)? lol. Nice going, Steffers.
Anyhow, the movie reference was from "The Ring." Good movie, though very scary. *shudders*
Now that that's said and done, on with the fic!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Genie: Before I continue this fic, the Ham-Hams would like to take a brief moment to share what they are thankful for, in honor of Thanksgiving. Hamtaro?
Hamtaro: I'm thankful for all of my friends, my beautiful wife...
Bijou: *blushes*
Hamtaro: ...My wonderful owner Laura even if she does forget to feed me sometimes, uhhh...
Oxnard: Can I say something?
Hamtaro: Sure, go ahead!
Oxnard: I'm thankful for turkey and mashed potatoes and pumpkin pie and sweet potato casserole and green beans and stuffing and cranberries and mmmmmmm....*starts drooling like crazy*
Hamtaro: Uh...Oxnard?
Oxnard: Mmmmm....pie.....
Hamtaro: Anyone else wanna say anything?
Boss: You pretty much got it covered, you and Oxnard. The food especially.
Bijou: Vell I am zankful just for us all being here together!
Hamtaro: Me too.
Oxnard: Mmmm....potatoes...
Dexter: I'm thankful that Howdy hasn't told any jokes yet.
Howdy: Oh! That reminds me of a good one...
Everyone: NO!!!
Howdy: Objection!
Genie: Overruled. No jokes, Howdy.
Howdy: Dang.
Cappy: I'm thankful for my hat.
Genie: Yeah, we all know that, Cappy. Stop obsessing. It's not good for your health.
Cappy: Okay.
Stan: I'm thankful for my wonderful sister.
Sandy: Oh Stan, that's so sweet of you!
Stan: ...And all the hot chicks out there! Hey, all you cuties reading this...gimme a call, ok? My number is -
Sandy: Stop it, Stan!
Stan: Sorry.
Maxwell: Well I'm thankful that me and Sandy finally got married.
Sandy: *blushes* I love you Max!
Maxwell: I love you too.
*they schmubby-wubby*
Pashmina: Well I'm thankful that Dexter and I are together.
Dexter: Awww... *blushes*
Pashmina: C'mere, you. *kisses him*
Dexter: Hehhhehhh
Panda: And I'm thankful that it's a beautiful day and everyone is happy!
Everyone: Hear, hear!
Penelope: Ookwee! *I'm thankful for everything!*
Pashmina: Awww, you're so cute!
Penelope: Ookyoo ookyoo!
Snoozer: zuzuzuzuz...thanks for letting me sleep....zuzuzuzu....
Everyone: -_-
Jingle: I'm thankful for the morning breeze, the leaves a-falling from the trees, all the creatures great and small, oh yes I'm thankful for it all.
Genie: Beautiful, Jingle.
Jingle: Why thank you.
Genie: And I am thankful for all my readers and reviewers! Without you, this fic would not be such a success and I probably would have given up on writing and since it's like the only thing I'm good at, I wouldn't be able to get a job and I'd have to grow up and live in a sewer somewhere!
Everyone: Yeah...right.
Genie: Well okay, maybe it wouldn't be THAT extreme...but still, I am very thankful for all the people who took their time to review this fic, and now that I have wasted enough of your time, I'll continue with the actual story. ^_^
Oxnard: Mmm...story...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~At the clubhouse~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*Alright, here's the situation: Pashmina and Dexter are on their honeymoon in Vegas (lol...u know that can't be good...but it was the first place that came to my mind!), the 00cyborgs are now official Ham-Hams and are staying at the clubhouse with Boss until he finally gets fed up with them being there all the time and kicks them out, and...uh...Hamtaro is, sadly, still glued to the floor*
Boss: Hey, look, I was going through some old crap of mine and I discovered this old radio. I wonder if it still works. *turns it on*
Voice on radio: ...realized it was a giant coconut with eyes and not, in fact, a dinosaur as they had imagined. On to other news, police are currently on the lookout for Herbert the pig, who recently escaped from the county jail where he was held after being identified as the Black Phantom, a notorious hitman and suspected murderer of local citizen Ghetto Melon. Although nobody mourns the death of this particular fruit, Herbert has also been found guilty of the murders of Mr. Potato Head, Carrot Top and Sticky the Stick. He is thought to be wearing a Batman costume and driving a covertible belonging to his friend Jingle, who we have no information on at this time, except that he is apparently a hamster with a mohawk. Not many of those, so he should be easily recognizable. Herbert also has disproportionate nostrils, if that helps anyone. If you have any information on Herbert, aka the Black Phantom, or his accomplice, Jingle the mohawked rodent, please contact your local police station. That is all.
Stan: Dude. Herbert is a wanted criminal.
Sandy: So's Jingle.
Hamtaro: Sweeeeeeet! Let's go arrest them and make lots of cash! *tries to get up and then realizes he's still glued to the floor* Dangit! Anyone have something that will dissolve glue?
Oxnard: Yes!!! Saliva!!! *starts spitting at Hamtaro*
Hamtaro: EEEWWW!!! OXNARD, THAT'S DISGUSTING!!!! STOP!!!
Oxnard: It's not working?
Hamtaro: NO, YOU MADE IT WORSE!!!
009: Stand back, I'll zap the glue with my laser gun! That should take care of it!
Hamtaro: Wha? You have a laser gun that dissolves glue? Why didn't you just use it before? I've been stuck to the floor for two weeks, for crying out loud!!!
009: Uh, well, see, there was...the...thing...and then the...other thing...
Hamtaro: You guys have been laughing at me behind my back, haven't you??? Trying to see how long I could hold up glued to the floor???!!!
009: *stage whispers to the other cyborgs* Dangit, he found us out!
003: YES!!! TWO WEEKS!!! I WIN!!!
Hamtaro: You were BETTING on how long I could stay glued to the floor???!!!
003: C'mon, fork over the cash. *she smiles smugly as the other cyborgs all pay her*
004: I can't believe I guessed a whole year.
003: Tough luck, that's the way the cookie crumbles!
Oxnard: Mmm...cookie... (A/N: He sounds like Homer Simpson, doesn't he? lol)
Hamtaro: WELL DON'T JUST DO SOMETHING, STAND THERE!!!
Boss: Don't you mean -
Hamtaro: Oh shut up.
009: Okay, here goes. Everyone, stand back! *zaps the glue with his laser gun*
*there's a huge flash of blinding yellow light*
Everyone: OOoooooOOOOOooooOOOOoooo.....
Oxnard: Mmm...light...
*Then the glow subsides, and, quite miraculously, the glue has been dissolved and Hamtaro is no longer stuck to the floor. He is, however, on fire.*
Hamtaro: WHAT?! I HATE YOU GENIE!!!
Genie: Oh come now, that's no attitude to have on Thanksgiving! Be thankful that you're not stuck to the floor!
Hamtaro: -_O
(A/N: Isn't that the best face ever?)
Bijou: EXTREME ICE WATER!!! *throws a bucket of ice water on Hamtaro*
Hamtaro: AAAHHHH!!!! COLD COLD COLD!!!
Bijou: Vell excuse me, I thought I vas doing you a favor by putting out ze fire! If zat is how you feel, perhaps I should light you on fire again! *pulls out a lighter and lights it*
Hamtaro: NO!!! ANYTHING BUT THAT!!!
Bijou: I vas only joking. You know I vould never do that to you!
Hamtaro: Phew... But man, 009, you coulda been more careful with that laser gun.
009: Sorry. Still practicing.
Hamtaro: Okay, well, now that I'm unstuck...WHO WANTS TO MAKE SOME CASH?!
Everyone: YEAH!!!
Hamtaro: ...BY ARRESTING JINGLE AND HERBERT!!!
Everyone: -_O
Boss: Don'tcha think that's kinda...cruel? I mean, they are our friends...
Hamtaro: Aw, forget it. I was hoping I could make enough money off of turning them in to retire.
Bijou: Hamtaro, you do not even have a job.
Hamtaro: Well...anyhow...I at least hope Pashmina and Dexter are making more money in Vegas than I am here.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~In the great city of Las Vegas~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dexter: Come on JACKPOT! Come on JACKPOT! *he's playing the slots*
(A/N: Never knew Dex was a gambler, did you? Or that Vegas had hamster- sized slot machines...)
Dexter: WHAT?! NOTHING AGAIN?! DANG SLOT MACHINE!!! *starts bashing his head against the slot machine*
Pashmina: *also playing the slots* (A/N: Who'da thought Pashmina was a gambler too?) Hey Dex, what does it mean when the three little jackpots line up?
Dexter: What?!
*Pashmina's slot machine starts spewing coins at her*
Pashmina: Did I win?
Dexter: LIKE HECK YOU WON!!! WE'LL HAVE ENOUGH CASH TO RETIRE!!!
Pashmina: Uh...we don't have jobs.
Dexter: WELL WHATEVER!!! WE'LL HAVE ENOUGH CASH TO BUY A YACHT!!!
Pashmina: Okay...
Dexter: COME ON!!! LET'S GO PLAY ROULETTE!!!
Pashmina: Okay...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Back at da clubhouse~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oxnard: Mmm...boredom.
Boss: I hear ya Oxy.
0014: We can find something to do for fun!
Hamtaro: Like what?
Boss: Hey, didn't you have glasses markings before?
0014: Yeah. Now I have a watch. See? *holds up her wrist, which now has watch markings on it*
Hamtaro: COOL! YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR MARKINGS AT WILL???
0014: Yep!
Stan: Man, I wish I was a cyborg.
Oxnard: Mmm...cyborg...
00cyborgs: -_O
Hamtaro: Can you teach me how to change my markings?
0014: Um, no. Only cyborgs can. You're not a cyborg.
Hamtaro: I MIGHT be...
0014: You're not.
Hamtaro: Oh. Yeah.
0010+: HEY LOOK! I'M YUGI!!! *his fur is tanner and his hair is spikey magenta, red, and yellow*
0014: Stop showing off, 0010+.
0010+: But...but 0010- is doing it too!
0010-: What? *he's less pale, and his hair is black; he also has green eyes with glasses markings and a little lightning bolt scar*
0014: You look like Harry Potter.
0010-: I AM Harry Potter!
0014: No, you're not. Harry Potter is a human, not a hamster 00cyborg.
0010-: Then let's go human!
0014: We're elves, remember?
Ham-Hams: What?!
0014: Yes, it's true. I'm really an elf. So are these two - we're related. See? Watch this. *she turns green with pointy ears*
Stan: Duuuuuuuuuuude.
0010+: I can do that! *turns green with pointy ears also*
0010-: Me too! *he does the same*
Hamtaro: Wow!!!! Now I REALLY wish I was a cyborg!
009: AND the rest of us can turn into mini-humans!
Ham-Hams: "Mini-humans"?
009: Yeah. Humans, but hamster size.
Sandy: Cool! I wanna see!
009: Okay. The rest of you ready?
00cyborgs: YEP!
009: Alright. Here goes!
*There's another blinding flash of light, and when it subsides all the cyborgs are now mini-humans, except 0014, 0010+, and 0010-, who are elves*
Hamtaro: *starts crying*
Boss: What'sa matter?
Hamtaro: I WANNA BE A CYBORG!!!
Bijou: But if you were a cyborg...you and I could not be married!
Hamtaro: Then I wish we were BOTH cyborgs!
Boss: What's so great about being a robot anyhow?
Random person from FLCL: *pops in the door* A cyborg is different than a robot! *goes away*
(A/N: Okay, that needs a little explaining. See, I saw this anime called FLCL (Fooly Cooly) before, and at one point in one of the episodes this kid's dad (I don't remember any of the character's names - lol) randomly swims by saying "A cyborg is different than a robot!" It was hilarious...that anime is REALLY insane...and weird...and funny...although some of it is kind of...well...it's not for little kids, I'll put it that way. Okay, back to the fic.)
*The 00cyborgs turn back to hamsters; just then, the monkey cops burst through the door (don't ask me how monkeys fit in the clubhouse...I guess they're little monkeys)*
(A/N: I'm going to abbreviate "monkey cop" with MC)
MC1: We're looking for a criminal on the run!
MC2: We're not having much luck and it isn't much fun!
MC3: We've come to ask if you've seen this pig
MC4: Or this ham with a mohawk (it might be a wig)!
*They hold up a mug shot of Herbert and an artist's rendition of Jingle, since they didn't have any actual pictures of him at the police station*
Hamtaro: Yeah, we know who they-
Boss: NO WE DON'T! Never seen 'em.
MC1: Now wait just a minute, and you soon shall see
MC2: That we are more clever than we seem to be
MC3: Because now we have found him, right here in this room
MC4: And now it's time for the BANANA OF DOOM!!!
*Monkey cop 4 pulls out a banana and points it at 005*
005: What? What's going on?
MC1: Now don't try to fool us, because it's too clear
MC2: That you are the one we came looking for here
MC3: You thought your disguise could save the day
MC4: But alas, your mohawk gave you away!
005: Now wait just a minute here - I'm not Jingle! I'm a cyborg! CY - BORG! See, look, I can even turn into a human! *changes into his mini-human form*
MC1: All the more reason for us to believe
MC2: That you have some cunning tricks up your sleeve
MC3: Because any murderous pig, as they say,
MC4: Would have a cyborg for an accomplice any old day!
Oxnard: Mmm...banana...
Monkey cops: Hey...what?!
MC4: HE ATE THE BANANA OF DOOM!!!
MC1: Now we are powerless! What shall we do?
MC2: I'm afraid we must flee - what about you?
MC3: But remember this: we will be back!
MC4: To arrest you, and save the world from another attack!
*they run away*
005: Hey - they left the Banana of Doom behind.
Hamtaro: I thought Oxnard ate it?
Oxnard: No...I ate a different banana...not the Banana of Doom...I was afraid it would kill me if I ate it...See, I left the peel lying -
Boss: *slips on banana peel* AAAAHHH!!! *lands on his back* OW!!! OXNARD!!!
Hamtaro: *holding the Banana of Doom* Wow...I feel...such power...
Oxnard: Wonder how it works?
Boss: Dunno. I'd be careful if I were you, though...
Cappy: I WANNA WEAR IT!!! *puts the banana on his head* LOOK!! I'M WEARING THE BANANA OF DOOM!!!
Bijou: Everyone shut up! We need to do something!
Hamtaro: Whaddaya mean?
Bijou: Vell, if ve do not help them, Herbert and Jingle are going to be thrown in jail!!! We have to prove their innocence!
Hamtaro: What if they're not innocent?
Bijou: Vell...that's what ve'll find out!
Hamtaro: How?
Bijou: There's only one way...ve must talk to Ghetto Melon and find out exactly vhat happened!
Maxwell: But we already tried a seance, and that didn't work. Theoretically, we might be able to contact his spirit by visiting it in person, but that would mean...
Everyone: FIELD TRIP TO HELL!!! YAY!!! *they all run out the door, leaving Maxwell behind wondering why a field trip to hell is so appealing*
Maxwell: I wonder why a field trip to hell is so appealing. Oh well. *follows them*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~In Las Vegas~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dexter: Yes! 21! I win!
Pashmina: Dex, I'm getting sick of blackjack. Actually, I'm getting sick of gambling in general. Actually, I'm getting sick of Las Vegas in general. Who picked this place for our honey moon?
Dexter: Genie.
Pashmina: Oh yeah.
Dexter: Hit me, dealer.
Dealer: *smacks him*
Dexter: I MEANT DEAL ME ANOTHER CARD!!! Sheesh, some dealer you are.
Dealer: No! You cheated!
Dexter: Wha?
Dealer: You tampered with the deck, didn't you?
Dexter: No, I really didn't.
Dealer: THEN HOW DO YOU KEEP GETTING 21 EVERY TIME?!
Dexter: ...dumb luck?
Dealer: CHEATER!!! CHEATER!!!
Everyone else in the casino: *gasp!*
Dealer: You're banned from this casino!!!
Dexter: What? But I didn't -
Everyone in the casino: *chases him and Pashmina out with pitchforks and torches (heheh - dunno why they had those inside a casino)*
Pashmina: Well this is great! Now we're flat broke!
Dexter: Oh well. We didn't really have anything to begin with.
Pashmina: But we could have had millions! We could have had a yacht, Dex, a YACHT for crying out loud! And YOU had to go and blow it by cheating!
Dexter: But I didn't -
Pashmina: Oh, I don't want to hear it! Come on, let's go home. I hate this place.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~At the clubhouse~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dexter: Hello...anyone here?
Pashmina: There's a note on the table... "Went on a mission to hell to retrieve Ghetto Melon."
Dexter: -_O
Pashmina: Uh...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Next chapter: MISSION TO HELL!!!
With guest star - NUMBUH 7!!! aka Steph aka Steffers
Also - Animegirl0014 - 009 and 003 will get married in the next chappie, I promise! I couldn't find a good place to put it in this chapter, so I didn't. But you just wait!
Also next chappie: What becomes of the BANANA OF DOOM?!
So, peeps, send me your reviews, and any ideas you have that you want me to put in here! The more reviews I get, the faster I'll update!!! Well...theoretically, anyway.
Also, a mega-Q thank-Q (wow! i used 2 hamchat words in a sentence!) to my wondachu (3!!!) fans who sent in ideas for this chappie. That would be *drumroll please* Animegirl0014 (you're seriously my biggest fan for this fic! love ya chika!), KirbyKat (hey, you said your brain wasn't working, but i think that banana of doom idea came out pretty good!), and my main woman Numbuh 7 (we have the weirdest convos, don't we?)!!! Thank-Q again, and keep 'em coming!
Another note: The reason I changed the rating of this fic to PG is because I used the word 'hell.' Frankly, I don't think the word 'hell' is really a cuss word when used in its literal sense, that is, meaning the place opposite of heaven (heck, i dare you to go through the Bible and count how many times the word 'hell' is in there!! lol). But I didn't want anyone to complain and say that i cussed so I should have changed the rating, so i saved myself the trouble by going ahead and changing it. Yeah.
Also: This is a message for HamtaroLover96 (if you're reading this). I saw that you apologized to Jonathan for cussing him out, and he accepted your apology, so I guess I should apologize too. I did mean what I said about you being mean to him and how you shouldn't cuss him out for sending you a bunch of good reviews. But I guess I did overdo it a little...so sorry if I hurt your feelings. Now that things have been set straight between you and him, I hope you aren't too mad at me and that you'll accept my apology and my offer to be friends. I seriously don't want to go making any enemies here at ff.net. So, sorry for the flame, I know I went a little overboard and I hope you forgive me. Besides, even though I did flame you, you still sent me a nice review. Friends?
And finally...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~SHOUT-OUT TIME!!!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Okay, I promised to give a shout-out to anyone who guessed the horror movie from the last chapter correctly, so here we go:
YAY 4 NUMBUH 7!!!!! Would you believe this girl actually went to three search engines looking for the answer (before finally getting it from her brother)? lol. Nice going, Steffers.
Anyhow, the movie reference was from "The Ring." Good movie, though very scary. *shudders*
Now that that's said and done, on with the fic!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Genie: Before I continue this fic, the Ham-Hams would like to take a brief moment to share what they are thankful for, in honor of Thanksgiving. Hamtaro?
Hamtaro: I'm thankful for all of my friends, my beautiful wife...
Bijou: *blushes*
Hamtaro: ...My wonderful owner Laura even if she does forget to feed me sometimes, uhhh...
Oxnard: Can I say something?
Hamtaro: Sure, go ahead!
Oxnard: I'm thankful for turkey and mashed potatoes and pumpkin pie and sweet potato casserole and green beans and stuffing and cranberries and mmmmmmm....*starts drooling like crazy*
Hamtaro: Uh...Oxnard?
Oxnard: Mmmmm....pie.....
Hamtaro: Anyone else wanna say anything?
Boss: You pretty much got it covered, you and Oxnard. The food especially.
Bijou: Vell I am zankful just for us all being here together!
Hamtaro: Me too.
Oxnard: Mmmm....potatoes...
Dexter: I'm thankful that Howdy hasn't told any jokes yet.
Howdy: Oh! That reminds me of a good one...
Everyone: NO!!!
Howdy: Objection!
Genie: Overruled. No jokes, Howdy.
Howdy: Dang.
Cappy: I'm thankful for my hat.
Genie: Yeah, we all know that, Cappy. Stop obsessing. It's not good for your health.
Cappy: Okay.
Stan: I'm thankful for my wonderful sister.
Sandy: Oh Stan, that's so sweet of you!
Stan: ...And all the hot chicks out there! Hey, all you cuties reading this...gimme a call, ok? My number is -
Sandy: Stop it, Stan!
Stan: Sorry.
Maxwell: Well I'm thankful that me and Sandy finally got married.
Sandy: *blushes* I love you Max!
Maxwell: I love you too.
*they schmubby-wubby*
Pashmina: Well I'm thankful that Dexter and I are together.
Dexter: Awww... *blushes*
Pashmina: C'mere, you. *kisses him*
Dexter: Hehhhehhh
Panda: And I'm thankful that it's a beautiful day and everyone is happy!
Everyone: Hear, hear!
Penelope: Ookwee! *I'm thankful for everything!*
Pashmina: Awww, you're so cute!
Penelope: Ookyoo ookyoo!
Snoozer: zuzuzuzuz...thanks for letting me sleep....zuzuzuzu....
Everyone: -_-
Jingle: I'm thankful for the morning breeze, the leaves a-falling from the trees, all the creatures great and small, oh yes I'm thankful for it all.
Genie: Beautiful, Jingle.
Jingle: Why thank you.
Genie: And I am thankful for all my readers and reviewers! Without you, this fic would not be such a success and I probably would have given up on writing and since it's like the only thing I'm good at, I wouldn't be able to get a job and I'd have to grow up and live in a sewer somewhere!
Everyone: Yeah...right.
Genie: Well okay, maybe it wouldn't be THAT extreme...but still, I am very thankful for all the people who took their time to review this fic, and now that I have wasted enough of your time, I'll continue with the actual story. ^_^
Oxnard: Mmm...story...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~At the clubhouse~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*Alright, here's the situation: Pashmina and Dexter are on their honeymoon in Vegas (lol...u know that can't be good...but it was the first place that came to my mind!), the 00cyborgs are now official Ham-Hams and are staying at the clubhouse with Boss until he finally gets fed up with them being there all the time and kicks them out, and...uh...Hamtaro is, sadly, still glued to the floor*
Boss: Hey, look, I was going through some old crap of mine and I discovered this old radio. I wonder if it still works. *turns it on*
Voice on radio: ...realized it was a giant coconut with eyes and not, in fact, a dinosaur as they had imagined. On to other news, police are currently on the lookout for Herbert the pig, who recently escaped from the county jail where he was held after being identified as the Black Phantom, a notorious hitman and suspected murderer of local citizen Ghetto Melon. Although nobody mourns the death of this particular fruit, Herbert has also been found guilty of the murders of Mr. Potato Head, Carrot Top and Sticky the Stick. He is thought to be wearing a Batman costume and driving a covertible belonging to his friend Jingle, who we have no information on at this time, except that he is apparently a hamster with a mohawk. Not many of those, so he should be easily recognizable. Herbert also has disproportionate nostrils, if that helps anyone. If you have any information on Herbert, aka the Black Phantom, or his accomplice, Jingle the mohawked rodent, please contact your local police station. That is all.
Stan: Dude. Herbert is a wanted criminal.
Sandy: So's Jingle.
Hamtaro: Sweeeeeeet! Let's go arrest them and make lots of cash! *tries to get up and then realizes he's still glued to the floor* Dangit! Anyone have something that will dissolve glue?
Oxnard: Yes!!! Saliva!!! *starts spitting at Hamtaro*
Hamtaro: EEEWWW!!! OXNARD, THAT'S DISGUSTING!!!! STOP!!!
Oxnard: It's not working?
Hamtaro: NO, YOU MADE IT WORSE!!!
009: Stand back, I'll zap the glue with my laser gun! That should take care of it!
Hamtaro: Wha? You have a laser gun that dissolves glue? Why didn't you just use it before? I've been stuck to the floor for two weeks, for crying out loud!!!
009: Uh, well, see, there was...the...thing...and then the...other thing...
Hamtaro: You guys have been laughing at me behind my back, haven't you??? Trying to see how long I could hold up glued to the floor???!!!
009: *stage whispers to the other cyborgs* Dangit, he found us out!
003: YES!!! TWO WEEKS!!! I WIN!!!
Hamtaro: You were BETTING on how long I could stay glued to the floor???!!!
003: C'mon, fork over the cash. *she smiles smugly as the other cyborgs all pay her*
004: I can't believe I guessed a whole year.
003: Tough luck, that's the way the cookie crumbles!
Oxnard: Mmm...cookie... (A/N: He sounds like Homer Simpson, doesn't he? lol)
Hamtaro: WELL DON'T JUST DO SOMETHING, STAND THERE!!!
Boss: Don't you mean -
Hamtaro: Oh shut up.
009: Okay, here goes. Everyone, stand back! *zaps the glue with his laser gun*
*there's a huge flash of blinding yellow light*
Everyone: OOoooooOOOOOooooOOOOoooo.....
Oxnard: Mmm...light...
*Then the glow subsides, and, quite miraculously, the glue has been dissolved and Hamtaro is no longer stuck to the floor. He is, however, on fire.*
Hamtaro: WHAT?! I HATE YOU GENIE!!!
Genie: Oh come now, that's no attitude to have on Thanksgiving! Be thankful that you're not stuck to the floor!
Hamtaro: -_O
(A/N: Isn't that the best face ever?)
Bijou: EXTREME ICE WATER!!! *throws a bucket of ice water on Hamtaro*
Hamtaro: AAAHHHH!!!! COLD COLD COLD!!!
Bijou: Vell excuse me, I thought I vas doing you a favor by putting out ze fire! If zat is how you feel, perhaps I should light you on fire again! *pulls out a lighter and lights it*
Hamtaro: NO!!! ANYTHING BUT THAT!!!
Bijou: I vas only joking. You know I vould never do that to you!
Hamtaro: Phew... But man, 009, you coulda been more careful with that laser gun.
009: Sorry. Still practicing.
Hamtaro: Okay, well, now that I'm unstuck...WHO WANTS TO MAKE SOME CASH?!
Everyone: YEAH!!!
Hamtaro: ...BY ARRESTING JINGLE AND HERBERT!!!
Everyone: -_O
Boss: Don'tcha think that's kinda...cruel? I mean, they are our friends...
Hamtaro: Aw, forget it. I was hoping I could make enough money off of turning them in to retire.
Bijou: Hamtaro, you do not even have a job.
Hamtaro: Well...anyhow...I at least hope Pashmina and Dexter are making more money in Vegas than I am here.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~In the great city of Las Vegas~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dexter: Come on JACKPOT! Come on JACKPOT! *he's playing the slots*
(A/N: Never knew Dex was a gambler, did you? Or that Vegas had hamster- sized slot machines...)
Dexter: WHAT?! NOTHING AGAIN?! DANG SLOT MACHINE!!! *starts bashing his head against the slot machine*
Pashmina: *also playing the slots* (A/N: Who'da thought Pashmina was a gambler too?) Hey Dex, what does it mean when the three little jackpots line up?
Dexter: What?!
*Pashmina's slot machine starts spewing coins at her*
Pashmina: Did I win?
Dexter: LIKE HECK YOU WON!!! WE'LL HAVE ENOUGH CASH TO RETIRE!!!
Pashmina: Uh...we don't have jobs.
Dexter: WELL WHATEVER!!! WE'LL HAVE ENOUGH CASH TO BUY A YACHT!!!
Pashmina: Okay...
Dexter: COME ON!!! LET'S GO PLAY ROULETTE!!!
Pashmina: Okay...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Back at da clubhouse~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oxnard: Mmm...boredom.
Boss: I hear ya Oxy.
0014: We can find something to do for fun!
Hamtaro: Like what?
Boss: Hey, didn't you have glasses markings before?
0014: Yeah. Now I have a watch. See? *holds up her wrist, which now has watch markings on it*
Hamtaro: COOL! YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR MARKINGS AT WILL???
0014: Yep!
Stan: Man, I wish I was a cyborg.
Oxnard: Mmm...cyborg...
00cyborgs: -_O
Hamtaro: Can you teach me how to change my markings?
0014: Um, no. Only cyborgs can. You're not a cyborg.
Hamtaro: I MIGHT be...
0014: You're not.
Hamtaro: Oh. Yeah.
0010+: HEY LOOK! I'M YUGI!!! *his fur is tanner and his hair is spikey magenta, red, and yellow*
0014: Stop showing off, 0010+.
0010+: But...but 0010- is doing it too!
0010-: What? *he's less pale, and his hair is black; he also has green eyes with glasses markings and a little lightning bolt scar*
0014: You look like Harry Potter.
0010-: I AM Harry Potter!
0014: No, you're not. Harry Potter is a human, not a hamster 00cyborg.
0010-: Then let's go human!
0014: We're elves, remember?
Ham-Hams: What?!
0014: Yes, it's true. I'm really an elf. So are these two - we're related. See? Watch this. *she turns green with pointy ears*
Stan: Duuuuuuuuuuude.
0010+: I can do that! *turns green with pointy ears also*
0010-: Me too! *he does the same*
Hamtaro: Wow!!!! Now I REALLY wish I was a cyborg!
009: AND the rest of us can turn into mini-humans!
Ham-Hams: "Mini-humans"?
009: Yeah. Humans, but hamster size.
Sandy: Cool! I wanna see!
009: Okay. The rest of you ready?
00cyborgs: YEP!
009: Alright. Here goes!
*There's another blinding flash of light, and when it subsides all the cyborgs are now mini-humans, except 0014, 0010+, and 0010-, who are elves*
Hamtaro: *starts crying*
Boss: What'sa matter?
Hamtaro: I WANNA BE A CYBORG!!!
Bijou: But if you were a cyborg...you and I could not be married!
Hamtaro: Then I wish we were BOTH cyborgs!
Boss: What's so great about being a robot anyhow?
Random person from FLCL: *pops in the door* A cyborg is different than a robot! *goes away*
(A/N: Okay, that needs a little explaining. See, I saw this anime called FLCL (Fooly Cooly) before, and at one point in one of the episodes this kid's dad (I don't remember any of the character's names - lol) randomly swims by saying "A cyborg is different than a robot!" It was hilarious...that anime is REALLY insane...and weird...and funny...although some of it is kind of...well...it's not for little kids, I'll put it that way. Okay, back to the fic.)
*The 00cyborgs turn back to hamsters; just then, the monkey cops burst through the door (don't ask me how monkeys fit in the clubhouse...I guess they're little monkeys)*
(A/N: I'm going to abbreviate "monkey cop" with MC)
MC1: We're looking for a criminal on the run!
MC2: We're not having much luck and it isn't much fun!
MC3: We've come to ask if you've seen this pig
MC4: Or this ham with a mohawk (it might be a wig)!
*They hold up a mug shot of Herbert and an artist's rendition of Jingle, since they didn't have any actual pictures of him at the police station*
Hamtaro: Yeah, we know who they-
Boss: NO WE DON'T! Never seen 'em.
MC1: Now wait just a minute, and you soon shall see
MC2: That we are more clever than we seem to be
MC3: Because now we have found him, right here in this room
MC4: And now it's time for the BANANA OF DOOM!!!
*Monkey cop 4 pulls out a banana and points it at 005*
005: What? What's going on?
MC1: Now don't try to fool us, because it's too clear
MC2: That you are the one we came looking for here
MC3: You thought your disguise could save the day
MC4: But alas, your mohawk gave you away!
005: Now wait just a minute here - I'm not Jingle! I'm a cyborg! CY - BORG! See, look, I can even turn into a human! *changes into his mini-human form*
MC1: All the more reason for us to believe
MC2: That you have some cunning tricks up your sleeve
MC3: Because any murderous pig, as they say,
MC4: Would have a cyborg for an accomplice any old day!
Oxnard: Mmm...banana...
Monkey cops: Hey...what?!
MC4: HE ATE THE BANANA OF DOOM!!!
MC1: Now we are powerless! What shall we do?
MC2: I'm afraid we must flee - what about you?
MC3: But remember this: we will be back!
MC4: To arrest you, and save the world from another attack!
*they run away*
005: Hey - they left the Banana of Doom behind.
Hamtaro: I thought Oxnard ate it?
Oxnard: No...I ate a different banana...not the Banana of Doom...I was afraid it would kill me if I ate it...See, I left the peel lying -
Boss: *slips on banana peel* AAAAHHH!!! *lands on his back* OW!!! OXNARD!!!
Hamtaro: *holding the Banana of Doom* Wow...I feel...such power...
Oxnard: Wonder how it works?
Boss: Dunno. I'd be careful if I were you, though...
Cappy: I WANNA WEAR IT!!! *puts the banana on his head* LOOK!! I'M WEARING THE BANANA OF DOOM!!!
Bijou: Everyone shut up! We need to do something!
Hamtaro: Whaddaya mean?
Bijou: Vell, if ve do not help them, Herbert and Jingle are going to be thrown in jail!!! We have to prove their innocence!
Hamtaro: What if they're not innocent?
Bijou: Vell...that's what ve'll find out!
Hamtaro: How?
Bijou: There's only one way...ve must talk to Ghetto Melon and find out exactly vhat happened!
Maxwell: But we already tried a seance, and that didn't work. Theoretically, we might be able to contact his spirit by visiting it in person, but that would mean...
Everyone: FIELD TRIP TO HELL!!! YAY!!! *they all run out the door, leaving Maxwell behind wondering why a field trip to hell is so appealing*
Maxwell: I wonder why a field trip to hell is so appealing. Oh well. *follows them*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~In Las Vegas~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dexter: Yes! 21! I win!
Pashmina: Dex, I'm getting sick of blackjack. Actually, I'm getting sick of gambling in general. Actually, I'm getting sick of Las Vegas in general. Who picked this place for our honey moon?
Dexter: Genie.
Pashmina: Oh yeah.
Dexter: Hit me, dealer.
Dealer: *smacks him*
Dexter: I MEANT DEAL ME ANOTHER CARD!!! Sheesh, some dealer you are.
Dealer: No! You cheated!
Dexter: Wha?
Dealer: You tampered with the deck, didn't you?
Dexter: No, I really didn't.
Dealer: THEN HOW DO YOU KEEP GETTING 21 EVERY TIME?!
Dexter: ...dumb luck?
Dealer: CHEATER!!! CHEATER!!!
Everyone else in the casino: *gasp!*
Dealer: You're banned from this casino!!!
Dexter: What? But I didn't -
Everyone in the casino: *chases him and Pashmina out with pitchforks and torches (heheh - dunno why they had those inside a casino)*
Pashmina: Well this is great! Now we're flat broke!
Dexter: Oh well. We didn't really have anything to begin with.
Pashmina: But we could have had millions! We could have had a yacht, Dex, a YACHT for crying out loud! And YOU had to go and blow it by cheating!
Dexter: But I didn't -
Pashmina: Oh, I don't want to hear it! Come on, let's go home. I hate this place.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~At the clubhouse~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dexter: Hello...anyone here?
Pashmina: There's a note on the table... "Went on a mission to hell to retrieve Ghetto Melon."
Dexter: -_O
Pashmina: Uh...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Next chapter: MISSION TO HELL!!!
With guest star - NUMBUH 7!!! aka Steph aka Steffers
Also - Animegirl0014 - 009 and 003 will get married in the next chappie, I promise! I couldn't find a good place to put it in this chapter, so I didn't. But you just wait!
Also next chappie: What becomes of the BANANA OF DOOM?!
So, peeps, send me your reviews, and any ideas you have that you want me to put in here! The more reviews I get, the faster I'll update!!! Well...theoretically, anyway.