A/N: Wow, it has been forever and a day since we last updated but we are here again to offer up more of the madness. I do hope you enjoy.
I would do individual comment replies but in the interest in providing more fic, I will hold of and do them next chapter. We both appreciate your support and hope you keep reading! Annd away we go.
I was frozen in horror. The image in the mirror proved that what my eyes had perceived was true.
My breasts had grown so much that some of the flesh was bulging over my breastplate. As if it wasn't bad enough that I had to give up my sentinel outfit, I had to give up my breastplate too?!
Nay, I thought, rubbing my swollen belly with one hand and poking my flesh with the other. I shall simply make a spare breastplate to my new measurements. My new measurements being marginally larger…my breasts now seemed as though I had two talan roofs stuck to my chest.
I was large with child – very large. This babe would be naturally broad, like its Ada. My stomach bulged unattractively, so that not only could I not see my feet, but I could not see an expanse of the floor around them either!
I glanced back at the mirror. In my dark maternity gown and now-useless breastplate, I had to agree that I had changed. But I did not think I had changed in a good way.
My body was now hideous, horribly large as it adjusted to the little life growing inside my womb. My hair was uncontrollable, my skin pallid aside from two bright spots on my cheeks. In fact, my only redeeming feature was my eyes, which seemed to glow brighter than ever.
The babe kicked, and I sighed. My main problem linked to my bodily problems. My main problem was my husband.
I knew he was delighted about my pregnancy, saw the loving way he viewed the growing bump, the way he stroked it. Sometimes, when he thought I slept, he sang to my stomach, gentle Silvan songs that made me smile. At times he complimented me, which made me frown – he could do so when he believed me asleep, but not to me when I was awake?
All the same, he would be a marvellous father. Just as he was a marvellous husband.
Despite his penchant for being over-protective, dominant, and arrogant, he was also very tender and loving. His humour and haughtiness remained (humour presenting itself when he regarded his brothers, or when he had a constant sexual appetite before I became pregnant – to say that we could make do with intimacies in any place would not have been a lie, for Haldir was very creative and adventurous), but added to it was a new, softer Haldir – one that told me he loved me regularly, one that eyed me with disapproval should I carry what he considered 'too much' in my pregnant state. Of course, this included the teapot, which was lighter than parchment!
Despite his tenderness, there were problems now that I carried his child…
Why did he avoid me? Why did he not touch me intimately anymore, outside of his playful delight at the largeness of my breasts?
I knew. He obviously found my new form as awful as I did. He loved the babe, but not the mess it created. He obviously did not realise that I needed him. He would only want me when my stomach was flat once more.
Although, the only person who did not seem overly changed by my state was Orophin. He had been a wonderful confidant all the time. He had been there at the start, when I was too embarrassed to tell Haldir how the Lórien Elves did not necessarily treat me badly, but did not treat me well either. He had been there when I was made captain of my regiment, had encouraged me, whereas Haldir had been shocked and annoyed. He had been there in my early stages of pregnancy, when I felt the first niggling fears and doubts.
And he was still with me, now that I hated my figure, knew Haldir hated it too, had had to leave my regiment in the temporary control of someone else (although I was still allowed to oversee their training). He was a saving grace.
I sighed again, pulling my breastplate away from my chest, before letting it ping back. My breasts wobbled like the bowls of pudding Haldir liked so much. Disgusted, I turned away from the mirror, and paused, spotting Kalia's letter.
I had received it only this morn, had read the saccharine words of contentment.
Yet, for some reason, I did not believe her. I could not see why Kalia would lie save for embarrassment, but every time I scoured the letter with my eyes, I had a feeling that there was an underlying falsity. When I had first read the letter, I threw it down upon the table and cried, "Why do you lie so?" Then I realised the idiocy of my act, and was thankful that Haldir was not around. If she were lying so as not to worry him, then I would have almost turned her in.
My poor Kalia, I thought woefully. Are you receiving the same treatment I am? Do your peers hurt you?
Granted, my treatment was not overly bad. Word had spread that I was Galadriel's great-granddaughter, Elrond's granddaughter and daughter of Elladan. Because of this, any more disdain than was already revealed had been hidden behind a veil – but a thin one, for I could see right through it.
They tried to pick holes in whatever I did (whereas Kalia and my Rivendell kin would have laughed when I skidded across a patch of ice and landed in the Nimrodel – when I was not pregnant, of course – they made it seem as though I had urinated in their bread – or urinated in their precious Nimrodel which I would never do – did they honestly think me so dirty?). They scolded me constantly, even complained about my hair colour! And of course, my eyes received me much attention and fear. The ladies adored Haldir, disliked me because I was married to him. Some of the men disliked me because word had got around that I had been servant, and was simply out for gold and finery.
Like Kalia knew some Legolas's past lovers, I knew a few of Haldir's. All of them beautiful, willowy, carefully mannered and blond. I was broadly built, dark haired, brash and just plain manly. It was quite a large difference.
The only people who seemed to like me were Haldir (perhaps), Orophin and Rúmil, their friend Théngol, the Lord and Lady and my own regiment. And, of course, my Ada, who I wrote to just as regularly as Kalia...
I opened the letter eagerly, recognising the royal stamp of my father's house. My eyes flew over the parchment at will, a smile sliding across my lips every now and then as my Ada's familiar style of speech and writing warmed my heart and seemed to echo in my head as though he were with me in the very room.
"Dear Tyrael! Do my eyes deceive me? Pregnant? This is a surprise indeed! And for once, I do not mean that it is because it is Haldir's child (although, that is most likely the last thing we need running around! Let us hope this child will not be as stiff and proper). What I mean is that it was not so long ago that I was announced a father, and now I will be a grandfather!"
Sweet Ada, he would indeed be a marvellous grandfather, despite his being rather young. I could just imagine mine and Haldir's child propped on Ada's knee, as he bounced the babe – which I believed to be a boy – upon his knee, singing soft songs of Elbereth and Manwë.
"Elrohir is just as excited as I, and as an accomplished carpenter, wishes to offer his services in building a crib. Ada was shocked to say the least! I have never seen him so speechless – I believe he would have wept for joy were it not for Erestor, who joined the conversation half way through and once again began complaining that he was never told anything."
Everyone at Imladris seems more eager than anyone in Lórien, I realised sadly. And I knew it was because I did not belong in this golden land – I belonged in the mountains with the dark haired, carefree Rivendell Elves.
"Ada, Elrohir and I shall be at Kalia's wedding, Lisse'corm*, and I shall hopefully see thee there…"
I closed my letter, satiated that my father and the others close to me in my family would be there. I had realised even in my early stages of pregnancy that Haldir and I would have troubles. I would need my family to help me…
I smiled, thinking of my family. It would be marvellous indeed to see them once more! Haldir had agreed to Elrohir's making the crib, but had at first argued that there were good enough carpenters in Lórien for such things.
Of course, when pregnant, the hormones go as wild as a Warg without a rider. I had narrowed my eyes and snarled at him, asking why my family was not good enough, that he would refuse a perfectly kind offer from one who was not of Lórien, would he prefer that I turned my kin down?
He had stared at me, shocked and astounded, before saying that he had not meant that in the least. I was preparing to yell at him again, when Orophin had arrived, and had saved Haldir from my removing that which made him different to females. Once outside, Phinny confessed he had heard the whole outburst and talked me through it, thus cooling me down and saving Haldir from almost certain castration.
I stared at Kalia's letter a bit longer, biting my lip. I could almost feel her pain, and I desired to put things right, comfort her, hurt those who found some sort of pleasure in harming her, my little cousin, my little niece, my sister.
The door to the talan opened, and Haldir stepped in, filling the doorway with his broad build.
I longed for him so much, but only received kisses, stomach-stroking, shoulder massages and his odd habit of playing with my chest.
But he did not want me.
His deep blue gaze fell on me, and one eyebrow rose. "Are you well?"
I puzzled for a moment, then realised that I must look odd, for he had walked in on me whilst I was standing in the middle of the room, staring at the table. "Aye," I replied, shifting. "I am well."
Haldir studied my face searchingly, closing the door behind him and stepping inside. His eyes roved over the talan, searching for something. Whatever it was, he obviously didn't find it, for he shrugged slightly and slumped in a chair at the eating table. His actions did not concern me – for they seemed to be something he did every time he entered our talan.
I took this as my cue and brought over the freshly cooked stew, which I had had on a low flame to keep it warm. I dished him out some, gave him some bread, before putting it back on the stove (perhaps his brothers would like some later), and turn to the pile of freshly washed clothing on the chair nearby. I picked up a tunic and began folding it neatly.
"Are you not going to eat?" Haldir asked, watching me with a disapproving look – a look I was rapidly tiring of.
"I have already eaten," I replied, laying down the folded tunic and picking up another.
Haldir said nothing more, but began to eat. That was another thing – whereas our relationship had once been hot and steamy, now it seemed that someone had thrown a bucket of icy cold water upon it. We were not as warm to one another as we used to be – granted, I was marginally colder to Haldir than he was to me.
"What are your plans for today?" Haldir asked, swallowing a mouthful of stew.
I paused, thinking. "I am going to order some new clothing, before going to the training grounds and helping my regiment, and after that shall attempt the new obstacle course myself, and then I will head to the Nimrodel for a naked swim."
I glanced up, and almost laughed at what I saw. Haldir had frozen with his spoon almost in his mouth, his lips parted, his eyes wide. He was looking at me in disbelief and shock.
I did laugh then, laying down the leggings I had just folded. "Oh, silly Elf. Did you truly believe me? Do you think me stupid and incapable to take care of my pregnant self? 'Twas a joke. All I plan on doing is getting new clothing and overseeing my regiment. Although, the swim does not sound bad."
"Not naked," Haldir growled, lowering the spoon back to his bowl, annoyance on his face. "Not only are you pregnant, you are also my wife, and I will not have others viewing your form."
"Do you truly believe I wish to be naked, like this?" I replied caustically. "I wait only for Orophin, then I shall be out of your way." He seemed to blanch at this. "And what of you, husband? What are your plans for the day?"
"I too must oversee a regiment – several, actually," Haldir replied, and I noticed the stormy look in his eyes. I had made him angry. "But that is in an hour. I have some time to rest first."
"Good," I said. "Then perhaps you could reply to this?" I walked over to the letter, and handed it to him. My eyes softened as I read Kalia's script on the envelope, before Haldir's fingers took it from my hand. "It arrived this morn. 'Tis an invitation to our friends' wedding and we must reply post haste, for the wedding lists have yet to be completed."
Haldir had been reading Kalia's letter whilst I moved back to folding clothing, and when he finished, he was smiling softly. "She seems content."
"You do not actually believe that, do you?" I glared.
"What is the matter with you?" He snapped. "Have you not read this?"
"Aye, I have, and I can read from what is not in the words that she is not happy," I replied, wanting to cry. "She is being mistreated by her peers, I know it. The sooner we get to her, the better."
Haldir's gaze softened. If there was one thing he knew, it was that my feelings were often right. I had had many in regards to him, and they were all spot on. He now looked worried. "Why would she lie?"
"So as not to worry us?" I guessed, with a shrug. I sighed heavily, shaking my head. "I know not. But we shall see her soon enough. Just do not forget to say that we are both going. I know you may not be happy that I plan on travelling there, but I would not miss her wedding for the world. All that aside, we also need to collect Uncle Elrohir so he can come back with us to build our crib."
I saw his jaw tighten slightly, and knew that that argument was still fresh in his mind. I felt suddenly sad for him. It could not be easy for Haldir, my being pregnant and snapping at him at every turning. Despite that my reasons for being angry were justified, he did not deserve such poor treatment.
He must have caught my miserable look, for he murmured, "My Tyrael," and held out his hand. I did not wish to sit upon his lap for fear of crushing him, but he pulled me there anyway, and held me gently, with my head under his chin, my arms wrapped around him tightly whilst one of his arms supported my back and his hand stroked my hair, whilst the other hand rested upon my belly. I could not say anything, could only tighten my grip on him. "Do not be sad," he said gently, holding me close, and nuzzling the crown of my head with his nose. "I understand how I am not helping, on top of your raging hormones. Myself and your pregnancy are fighting against one another, and you are torn. I apologise that I have not been very understanding and helpful."
"Nay, do not apologise," I said quietly, feeling better but still upset that he would not touch me in the way I needed. "I should not treat you so poorly." I placed a kiss on the only place I could reach – his chin. He chuckled softly and kissed my forehead.
"Come, sweetling," he said, stroking my cheek. "I must reply to Kalia's letter to say that we shall be attending, and I hear Orophin approaching."
I nodded, and pulled back slightly, but not before Haldir gave me a long, sweet kiss. As stepped back, his eyebrows shot up.
"You have grown again." His eyes were upon my breasts.
"Aye," I nodded. "That is why I must go acquire new clothing."
He nodded, his eyes momentarily transfixed upon my breasts, before Orophin poked his head around the door, smiling.
"I shall see you later, Haldir," I said, and he smiled and nodded, before I joined Orophin and left the talan.
Dear Kalia,
I hope all is still well? We received your letter only this morn and are replying with as much haste as possible, for we understand the delicacies of wedding arrangements (although in the end, our wedding was anything but delicate!). Tyrael just left to oversee her regiment with Orophin. She has much to do before she, myself and my brothers shall be joining you for your wedding. I do believe the Lord and Lady shall be coming as well.
I trust that Legolas has been behaving? I have heard he is having some minor difficulties, but nothing he cannot handle – he is a strong warrior, despite his slight build. You are marrying a good Elf, of this I can assure you. I see much happiness in your futures.
My own marriage has hit a slight trouble pocket, but I am sure that it will fade. There are many complexities to mine and Tyrael's relationship that I did not consider prior to our wedding, and I am beginning to realise them now. She misses her kin, this I know. Orophin has hinted to me that she is not being welcomed as I believe, yet I cannot see anyone being anything other than friendly. At the same, I cannot just brush aside Orophin's words for he is not only my brother, but he also spends much time with Tyrael. They seem close, closer than I thought they would be. I am happy that she has made a friend, even though I wish she would confide in me more.
I suppose she spoke of our many fights? Some are due to her pregnancy, for she grows bigger and bigger with every passing month, and with it grows her surliness. She grows more beautiful with every day, and I wish I could hold her like I used to, but I cannot, for it would surely harm the baby or her. All I can do is sit aside and watch as Orophin does what I should be doing, and take her temper tantrums like I am a whipping post.
We had such a fight today and she apologised, but I realise now that I have not been much help to her. I shall attempt to rectify this as soon as possible, and I plan on spending quality time with her in Mirkwood, when we shall attend your wedding. I hear she is Maid of Honour? She is very pleased about this, but complains that her belly will spoil whatever beautiful dress has been planned for her. Silly elleth.
I hope that our problems shall not manifest and ruin either your wedding or our marriage in any way. Pray that I can fix this before she realises that she can gain more from other sources.
Wishing you all the best, and I shall see you soon,
~ Haldir ~
*rings the wedding bells* The wedding of the Age is coming. Will Tyrael kill Haldir before the blessed event? Will Kalia come clean about her time in Mirkwood? Want more? Click that pretty button down below and tell us!