A/N: Yeah, I stole some names for this blush. I thank Frank Herbert's Dune series for the name 'Muadeeb' (probably not spelled right, but hey…), and Square-Enix's Final Fantasy VII and VIII for the names Laguna, Squall, Seifer and Kiros (along with a few other little references thrown in…)!

WARNING: SERIOUSLY LONG CHAPTER ALERT!!!

Second A/N: Thank you so so much for all your patience and support, and we apologize for the delay. Our beta's growing up, and has been super busy with school. Thus, we've had to beta it ourselves, so please excuse any errors on our behalf.

Chapter: 4

Author: Andariel

POV: Tyrael

To say that I packed my belongings rapidly may have been a bit of an understatement. Eager as I was to venture to Mirkwood, I moved faster than I had before, stopping only to pick up some of the mess I was creating.

There were many reasons for my desire to leave quickly. One was of course, my strong desire to see my cousin – whom I had missed terribly, and whose handwriting could in no way be of any consolation for her absence.

Especially when lies hid behind the quill. Was she being treated unjustly? If so, then by whom? The entire kingdom? Her husband? Did she lay alone at night, wishing for company, wishing for absolutions? What ailed my sweet sister, the sister I never had?

"Another reason, (which I told no one,) that I wished to leave was because I desired to leave the confines of Lórien. Rivendell had indeed been confining but, surprisingly enough, I had actually been allowed to behave as I had wanted to. I'd been treated as a peer, though I was a servant…I belonged to the group, and I could be my most hideous self, without anyone attempting to twist my arm behind my back.

The people of Lothlórien were not as forgiving. Were it not for Rúmil and Orophin, I would think that the Valar created them for duty alone, for they seemed to find no other aspect of joy in their life until they were drunk as old fools. I myself had given up the bottle firstly for my duty as Captain of my own regiment, then for the child I was carrying.

So I had nothing to guard myself with against these fair-haired, willowy, beautiful beings who seemed to watch me simply to find a flaw in my actions so that they could report back and have me placed over a proverbial spit.

More often than not, in my attempts to revive the spirit and joy I had in Rivendell, I stepped right into their traps, and found myself faced with a fuming Haldir and a disgruntle Lady of Light.)

This, of course, worsened as I became pregnant. My desires, temper, and my life force – surprisingly – grew stronger, and I would go along with it. I would never harm my unborn child, I knew what I was doing would in no way put him – for I thought it was a son – in danger. Although this confession lacks modesty, I knew I was a good at what I did, and my Elves, when I trained with them, knew to be careful.

And I did train with them.

Much to Haldir's disgust. He had appeared out of nowhere many times at first, his eyes flashing as though small flames resided in the dark pits. He had embarrassed me several times in front of my warriors, and each and every time had left a darker and larger stain upon my heart and my temper.

He had absolutely no right to treat me as such, especially when it seemed we were husband and wife in title only. He had little to no right to come and humiliate me for being myself in front of a group of Elves, simply because someone had told him I was up to no good.

Now, many of those who turned me in to Haldir were past lovers of his – or those who desired to share his bed. It was my eyes that seemed to scare most of those in Lórien, but not all were simply afraid of me…I had something they wanted.

They happily informed him of my doings, and I would find myself sitting at the table whilst he unleashed holy hell upon me in a torrent of angry words.

Why do you insist upon endangering…our child is not even half-grown in the womb…terrible outcome…foolish actions…childish tendencies…never had any discipline that must be why…

I loved Haldir with all my heart, of course I did. When Tyrael of Rivendell married someone, it was an important thing. I was the elleth who swore she would rather use a ball and chain on herself instead of placing a ring on her finger – despite that either outcome actually ended the same.

Haldir was still the same sly, wicked and sweet Elf – yet he seemed all too happy to believe that I was doing something terrible. He no longer touched me either – the closest he came to it was a finger pointed in my face when he would be yelling at me.

He, like me, was obviously not very good when it came to marriage though he had been perfectly good to me beforehand. Something had changed.

He obviously no longer found me pleasing, especially now that I was hideously large with child. He looked forward to the babe – was very affectionate to my bump. I just wished he could be the same to the rest of me.

--------------------------------------

I was ready in admirable time. I gripped my luggage, and waddled – for in my large state, that was all I could do – out towards the carriage. Haldir believed I could not ride a horse, not even my beloved Squall, and therefore he requested from the Lord and Lady that we have our own carriage. As annoyed as I was, I decided that I appreciated the notion of no saddle-sore, and agreed to the carriage.

We would be travelling with the Lord and Lady, also guests to the anticipated wedding. I doubted anyone anticipated it more than I – I just hoped I could perhaps heal whatever wounds marred Kalia's soul before her pain swallowed her whole.

"TYRAEL! WHAT IN ELBERETH'S NAME ARE YOU DOING!?"

"Carrying my luggage," I replied with slight confusion as Haldir stormed over, a look on his face that would make a Warg play dead simply to escape his wrath.

Orophin and one of my regiment, Muadeeb, rushed over to relieve me of my baggage, perhaps fearing for me. Muadeeb was one of the most promising of my group; a marvellous Elf who was strong and dutiful, yet sweet and playful. It seemed that only my regiment and Haldir's brothers could accept me as I was.

"There is no need…" I began, but at Haldir's death glare, I simply slammed my jaw shut with an audible snap and glared at him.

"Not only must you pack even the talan's sink," Haldir glowered, "But you must carry it ALL when you are ten and a half months pregnant!"

"Aye, and pregnant I may be," I retorted. "But I am not incompetent. I can ride, I can train, and my goodness, I can even feed myself. Do not think I am so weak that I cannot do things myself, or so foolish and idiotic that I would willingly endanger the babe. What do you think I am?"

Haldir didn't reply, but his silence said it all, as did the clear rage in his eyes. I was a burden now. He'd had his fun with me, but now I had become an obligation.

March Warden was his life, wife was his duty.

"Lady March Warden?"

I turned, surprised, to see the rest of my regiment. They were only a small group of nine, including Muadeeb. There was Seifer, Aranon, Aegis, Galian, Menithir, Telquare, Laguna, Kiros, and, of course, Muadeeb. I was startled to see them all here, smiling.

"Wardens," I smiled. "What brings you here?"

"Duty, milady," Aegis said, with a bow of the head. "We are the wardens to be travelling with you to Mirkwood. With some others, of course."

"The Lord and Lady believe us well enough to protect the group," Laguna said, both a hint of amusement and pride in his voice.

Laguna was perhaps the other most promising Elf. The only dark-haired of the group, we were like kin struggling to live in an alien environment. We were alone.

Laguna always found it amusing when he achieved something – he thought himself to be a mockery of an Elf, shockingly – and it seemed today was no different, though he was proud of how successful he was.

"I should be pleased to have you all with me," I smiled fondly. "I can make certain that way that you are not slacking in your training."

Laguna's smile wavered. "Us? Never!"

"Tyrael, time grows thin," Haldir said, his voice still tainted with displeasure. "If we are to meet your family along the way, we must make haste."

At the mention of my family, I kicked into action once more. "To your duties, wardens. Make me proud."

"Aye, Lady March Warden," they chorused, and Haldir rolled his eyes.

I moved rapidly to the carriage, whilst Haldir did last-minute checks of the Elves present and the carriages. The desire to see my family once again had me all in a flutter, and as Haldir helped me into the carriage and climbed in himself, I felt our son respond to my excitement.

I quickly grasped Haldir's hand and placed it upon my swollen belly, and for a moment he looked confused, but then the babe kicked, and a smile broke over his face.

"Excitement, I imagine," Haldir said wisely, and with his smile.

I was saddened to see that his face seemed to lose years of age. When had he become so worn and tired? Was this my doing? If so, what was I doing wrong?

"Aye," I replied, slightly disheartened now. "To see my family again – it brings joy to my heart. I still have much to learn of my father, I only hope there will be time amidst the fever of the wedding."

"There will be time," Haldir assured, settling back and smiling lazily. "I intend to have you relax, Tyrael – too much excitement can strain a child, and the mother of course – a nice break with Kalia and Elladan will do you well."

I noted how he kept his name from the list.

"I am not so certain that my time with Kalia will be a break," I confessed, staring down into my lap (or, at least, my belly, for I could no longer see my lap). "She sounds as though she needs support, needs a shoulder. I can only imagine how she has been treated. Mirkwood Elves are not as accepting as Rivendell Elves."

I felt his gaze upon me, and realised that he was perhaps annoyed that I hadn't added Lothlórien Elves as accepting. But I refused to brook, and simply took a book from one of the luggage sacks next to me.

The carriage jolted to a start, and we were on our way.

We met up with the Rivendell party not far from Lórien. As soon as I caught sight of Elrond, Arwen, Elrohir and Ada on their horses – and my carriage had slowed to a stop, I got out as fast as I could, despite the angry mutterings and protests from my husband.

Ada was off his horse in time to catch my hug, though he was visibly shocked at my condition. We could barely hug each other for the obstacle in between!

Elrohir laughed heartily (whilst Elrond actually looked at my bump in what seemed to be horror).

"Goodness me!" Uncle Elrohir laughed. "It seems only yesterday that you two were arguing, and now look! A family well underway."

"Aye, and pregnancy agrees with you Tyrael," Arwen smiled. "Do you not agree, Ada?"

Elrond gulped. "I remember Haldir as a child. And Tyrael, also. Please promise me you will not ask me to watch the child for you until it is well over a hundred years old."

I laughed delightedly. Already, among my kin I could feel the lightness of joy raising my heart from shadowy seclusion. Elrond was speaking with Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn,

"Look at you, daughter!" Ada gaped, holding me at arm's length to study my burden. "'Tis as though you carry the entire population of Rivendell!"

I laughed. The babe was indeed large.

"Interesting," Haldir said, "how you can say such a thing and receive a laugh, whereas I can say such a thing and receive a beating."

"Perhaps because Ada does not mean anything by it," I replied over my shoulder, annoyed.

Ada turned suspicious eyes to Haldir, who looked rather put out. "And you, Haldir? How do you fare? I trust you have been treating Tyrael well, and she you?"

There was a moment's pause, during which Haldir met Ada's gaze, and I felt my insides churn at the steely look in my husband's gaze. I was not happy with him, but I wished no unease or harm upon the matter.

"Aye," Haldir said. "Things have been perfectly peaceful. 'Tis only the stress of waiting for the child to arrive. Her term is very near ended."

"Hmm," Ada nodded, his blue eyes slightly colder. "Of course. Trouble on the borders at all?"

"Some," Haldir nodded. "Though not much. 'Tis very suspicious, for the Orc bands are pathetically minuscule and easily beaten. Too easy."

Ada raised an eyebrow. "You suspect a diversion?"

"It is very possible," Haldir nodded. "Though a diversion from what, I could not say. The roaming bands of Orc have been careful. None have revealed information under interrogation. The bands are small, random, but easily defeated. Their purpose is unclear."

"I hear you too have been protecting the borders," Elrohir said to me, smiling, though he seemed troubled by the news. "Lady March Warden, hmmm?"

I blushed. "Aye, and I have quite a team."

"Then you must both relax, take respite in Mirkwood," Aunt Arwen said, smiling at the both of us. Her smile was knowing, and I wondered just how much she actually knew. "I still have not had the chance to speak with you properly, Tyrael."

"Indeed not," I nodded, thinking of how quickly I was whipped from Rivendell even though I had just discovered my family. Whirlwind romances do such things to you, I thought bitterly.

"I have something for you," Ada said with a smile, reaching into one of the many pouches on his fine stallion's saddle.

From it, he pulled a large piece of black material. It was only when he allowed it to fall out of its folded state that I realised what it was. It was long, and black – like a cross between a tunic and a cloak. The collar was thick sheep's fleece, the material heavy. I stared at it in awe.

"'Tis a mortal creation," Ada explained. "They named it a 'coat'. This was what your mother wore when she was carrying you."

I stared at it in wonder. My mother had possessed this – my mother, whom I had never known, had worn this. It was as though I had been given the chance to know her once more.

"It was Orevon's," Ada continued. "He was Ava's friend. He gave it to her to wear throughout her pregnancy. He allowed me to keep it, but I think you should have it."

I felt tears well up. Damn my easily-influenced emotions.

I accepted the gift like it was a fragile ornament. Putting it on, I was enveloped in a feeling of warmth and lived-in timelessness. It fit me easily, and instantly warmed we up. I smiled at Ada and embraced him gently. He knew how to cheer me up, despite that I looked as though I would cry a torrent.

"Milady? March Warden?" Laguna appeared, his eyes filled with interest at the sight of the other dark-haired Elves. "I apologise profusely for the interruption, but we must make haste. There have been rumours of disturbances in these woods – I do not feel it wise to wait to face them."

Haldir looked as though he could not give two rattails about Laguna's feelings – his eyes were narrowed in the way that they were when someone impugned his stature.

"I agree," Orophin said, ever the peacemaker. "I sense the potential dangers. We should make haste to Mirkwood."

"The sooner the better," I agreed, thinking of Kalia. My longing to see her seemed almost desperate now. The sooner we reunited, the better we would both feel.

When I saw her in the courtyard, I was stunned. Bedecked in fineries as she was, her hair was still short, and she appeared worn and thin. Her tiny self had shrunk even more, and I wondered not for the first time what exactly ailed her.

Legolas too appeared weary, his hair seemed shorter too, but he did not look as haggard as his wife-to-be.

Despite her appearance, I was still too eager to see her to henpeck her. My eyes filled with tears once again, as I felt the familiar feeling of having her near me, my dear friend.

I left the carriage as fast as my burden would allow me, and I squealed, "Kalia! Oh, Kalia my dear cousin, how I have missed you!"

I got to her as quickly as I could, partially amused and partially disappointed by the look of sharp shock written over Kalia's face. I knew I looked a sight, yet the reality of it in the eyes of others never ceased to hurt me.

I embraced her, but not before seeing the look of desperation and relief cross over her face as she almost flew into my arms. And what a shock it was – for she was so thin I could probably have wrapped my arms around her twice.

As we pulled away, we burst into tears anew. Too long had it been.

"We should not have waited this long for a reunion," I sniffed, wiping at my eyes. "Letter-writing has been no consolation to your absence. I have missed you terribly!"

"And I you," Kalia nodded, smiling a watery smile. "'Tis not the same when you are not there to disrupt my daily schedule. I almost miss your interruptions."

"Almost?" I raised an eyebrow.

She laughed. "Why do you wear a breastplate, Tyrael? Would that not be awkward, in your condition?"

I frowned. "I would rather my chest were protected then risk attack." I jerked my head towards Haldir, who moved forward to embrace Kalia.

He frowned at me, as he hugged her, but his expression was soft and playfulness lurked behind his eyes. "I cannot help it. They have become so…"

"Enough," I said quickly. "Kalia does not wish to hear such things, I am sure." I turned towards Kalia. "Should we perhaps go eat? I am feeling particularly ravenous." I rubbed my swollen belly thoughtfully.

"Of course," Kalia smiled. "And we must catch up. There has been much unsaid."

Yes, there was much unsaid. And Kalia somehow managed to skilfully avoid such unsaid things, despite that she was the one who had mentioned them.

She seemed to pick at her food like a sparrow would, and obviously sensed my appraisal, my knowing, for she barely met my eyes. She was not feeling well at all – perhaps Legolas had something to do with this? He seemed tense, like a spring that was being held tight and ready to uncoil. It hurt me – she had been so happy, had loved Legolas for so long. What ailed her?

I could not find it in my heart to ask her – I felt that now was not the time to speak of such things. Instead, I simply made it obvious that I was here for her.

"If you should need to speak to me, do not hesitate," I said, looking into her eyes meaningfully, before I grinned. "Or to catch up on old times…"

She laughed softly. "Tyrael, I would not see you clumsily setting off a chain of events and falling down several flights of steps – not in your condition!"

I felt my lip curl irritably. "I know this to be the truth. Yet I have heard it so much I am sick of the fussing."

Kalia at first seemed taken aback by my tone, and wrapped her arms around my own one. It felt as though a ragdoll was hanging from me.

"My poor sister," she murmured. "This is a tie which you do not need at this time. Young birds should be free to fly."

I closed my eyes against her words, and then forced myself back into the state of mind of the Tyrael who she had met a year ago. The old grin split my face, and I could almost feel the muscles screaming out in pain, so long had it been since I had even bothered to fake the expression.

"Do not fret, Kalia-dear! I had to grow up some time, I suppose. After all, I'm sure Haldir would not want a clumsy oaf on his hands, hmmm?"

She gave me a confused look, but said nothing.

The day seemed to end rather quickly. I spent a little time with everybody - although, I was guilty to realise that I had been neglecting Haldir a little, and the Elf was forced to converse with old acquaintances that, judging by his expression, he had hoped to never see again.

By nightfall, I was exhausted and aching. I was sitting in mine and Haldir's rooms, resting my aching back and absently stroking my belly. I realised, with loathing that I longed for Haldir's touch like a dehydrated Elf longed for water. I knew that he would refuse me, like he had been doing for a good ten months now. Ten months for an Elf is possibly the equivalent to a day for a man – but it felt so long, and I finally had respect for the mortal time span.

Haldir entered our quarters in a foul mood, slamming his quiver down and slumping in a chair, glowering at his boots as if they were Orcs attempting to hump his leg.

Of course, at that image, I had to laugh. Earning me a rather vicious glare from my dear husband…

"Do not be so grumpy!" I sighed, shaking my head. "Would you rather I gagged myself?"

He sneered. "I doubt it would stop you even if I stuck an apple between your jaws."

Ouch…

I raised an eyebrow at him. "Sounds like somebody needs his hand to comfort him. I might offer to be the substitute but, wait, you will refuse of course!"

I bit my lip, realising that I should not have blurted the problem out in such an open and harsh manner. Haldir's eyes narrowing proved this.

"What on Arda are you yammering about, wench?" He growled.

"Oh, so you haven't noticed how you won't even hold my hand any more? You had no problem fondling my breasts for a while but now, even that has stopped. Do I repulse you so much that you feel you will burn yourself if you touch me?"

He gave me a stunned look, as though he did not know what I spoke of. "Repulsed? Are you blind, elleth?!"

"Apparently," I snapped, standing up, though a little too quickly. I gripped my belly, trying to make the blood rush back to my head. Haldir stood in concern, but I stepped backward. "I wouldn't mind if you simply held my hand. Or if you at least explained to me why I'm being treated like an Orc. I would like to be made love to, yes, however, that can be excusable. But your silence and continuous irritation with me is beginning to grow tiresome."

Haldir narrowed his eyes. "So what you want is sex, hmmm?" His eyes flashed angrily. "That is what you wish for? Fine!"

He stepped forward rapidly, startling me, and gripped my upper arms. He pressed his lips to mine harshly, angrily. It was a bruising kiss, and I could feel my lips screaming, my own heart weeping. Why was he doing this?

His tongue prodded at my lips, attempting to find entrance. I bit down, trying to push him away, but he had me backed up, and was far stronger than me in my weakened state, when my bodily resources were divided into two.

He bit on my lower lip, making me gasp in pain, and he took the opportunity to thrust his tongue into my mouth. Inside, I was crying. Haldir, my husband, my love, was as good as forcing himself on me.

I didn't deserve to be treated like this. I was no whore.

'Share and share alike. That is the motto for whores, is it not?'

Rathborn's words hit me full force, and with renewed strength, I bit on his tongue, making him withdraw with a curse. I shoved him away from me, blinking down the angry, humiliated tears in my eyes. Levelling him with a glare as he wiped blood off his lip angrily, I said, "So I must laddie think alone, upon your insincerity…"

And with that, I turned and fled.

I found myself in the palace gardens, sitting on the bench, just thinking. Haldir had never – NEVER – acted in such a way before. I could not even begin to imagine why he would do so now, except that he hated me. Or…maybe I was just his whore.

The flowers here were slightly reminiscent of the ones back home in Rivendell. I saw a patch of flowers that were similar to – if they were not the same as – the flowers in the bed where Haldir had been where I had tripped over him. And where we had later married.

I sighed sadly, placing my hands on my belly. What would I do now? It had always been predicted of me that I would make bad choices in life, that I would be some gutter-drunk who would get endlessly pregnant by different Elves.

But, I never imagined being married to an Elf who only wanted me as a toy, carrying his child, and feeling so little self worth that I considered myself the spider Legolas had squashed with his boot heel.

"Tyrael?"

I glanced up, startled, and then gave a wan smile. "Good eve, Orophin." I placed my chin in my hand, staring at the ground. Haldir always knew just what to do to ruin my spirits. I wasn't certain I would be able to recover after this fight, which had bruised more than just my ego.

"What is the matter? I can feel your sadness as though it is the cold breeze."

"'Tis rather chilly," I commented blandly.

I felt him sit next to me, and bit back tears. This elf had been with me through so much. He had supported me where Haldir had as good as threw me to the ground. He was a pillar of strength.

Why had I not fallen for him, instead of Haldir? What was it about me that attracted men who only desired one thing? Haldir had been willing when I was flat-stomached and wild. Yet, now that he had me tamed and bearing his babe, he had no interest. I really was just a toy to him.

To my mortification, I began to cry. I did not like crying in the presence of others, and that I was doing so made me cry even harder. I could only suppose that it was pent up emotions finally catching up with me. Or, most likely, it was my pregnancy making me insane.

I felt Orophin's arm go around my waist, and he pulled me closer to him, holding me as I cried into his tunic, with his other hand, he stroked my hair, and I remembered how only one person had done that before – my Ada. I had liked it very much, it was comforting – but for some reason, no one seemed to want to touch it, which saddened me somewhat.

His mutterings soothed me, and after a few moments of sobs, I began to explain to him what had happened. As I told the story, I could feel the sadness slipping away slowly. I seemed to simply need someone to speak to, someone to make me feel worth something. Orophin seemed to love me no matter what, no matter how I looked or acted.

"Oh, Tyrael," he sighed. "My brother can be so foolish at times. I will not pretend to understand why he acts this way…he says that it is because he fears to harm the child, and I suppose that is truth…I can understand why…but surely he must see that he is hurting you?" After a moment's silence, he said in a near whisper, "I sometimes wonder why you chose him."

I snorted. "So do I. But he was the first Elf who did not treat me as though I were a toy, a wretch, or a whore. He was not intimidated by my build or personality. I suppose I was so eager for such reactions that I embraced him too quickly."

"He was not the only Elf. Though…I suppose because he came first, you did not notice the second when he arrived."

I blinked against the now damp tunic in surprise. What did he mean? All the while, he continued to stroke my hair. But I no longer felt soothed. There was a tension in the air, and I wasn't sure I liked it.

"I know he would not have treated you in such a way. He would have regarded your feelings, would have helped you. Still could, if you would only let him."

His voice…there was a tone to it that did not serve to make me feel any better. It was deeper than his normal voice…huskier. If I didn't know any better, I would have guessed…

Suddenly, he pulled away, and knelt in front of me, taking my shaking hands into his. I realised what this was about as I stared at my hands held in his.

"I love you, Tyrael," Orophin whispered, and leaned forward.

I was frozen in shock and horror the moment his lips touched mine. It was not altogether a horrible kiss – his lips were soft and pliant, gently seeking permission, which a tiny part of me was tempted to give. At least someone was willing to treat me right.

But the majority of me fought against it. As soon as my mind re-entered my head, I pulled back, my lower lip trembling. I did not want to have to refuse him, because he deserved to have what he wanted in life – he was a perfect Elf. But when it was I he wanted…I could not allow him to have his desire.

His dark eyes, so much like Haldir's, scanned mine with confusion and hurt. I bit my lip, and shook my head.

"Oh, Orophin. I had no idea…"

He lowered his gaze. "I thought as much. You never seemed to react to any of my subtle prodding…"

I glanced up at him, slightly annoyed. "You did not care that I was engaged – and then married – to your brother?"

He flinched guiltily, looking ashamed. "I…I was not certain if your relationship was pure. Elbereth gave everyone a soul mate. One person alone to balance them out. I wanted to make sure that you were not my soul mate instead of Haldir's! I felt for you the moment I saw you…"

I shook my head. "I am very sorry, Orophin. I do love you…but I love you as a best friend, a brother. I…I am married to Haldir. He is selfish, he is cruel, but he can also be a brilliant Elf. He has hurt me badly, but…I love him still. I think…I know…he is my soul mate."

Orophin hung his head. "I am sorry," he said in a choked voice.

"Don't be," I replied, afraid to touch him. "I would most likely have done the same in your position. But know this…I value your friendship very highly. You are not just some Elf roaming in the background. I care for you very much. I love you…but I am not in love with you. Haldir is my husband. I am in love with him…"

After a moment, Orophin looked up, and the hurt in his eyes pained me, but I knew I was doing right. I loved Haldir – soon, we would be a family. Maybe everything would be fine then.

"Then you should tell him so. Every day. Do not let go of him." I nodded, watching as he fought to compose himself. "I am truly sorry, Tyrael. I should not have put you in such a position. I am selfish and absurd for thinking that…"

"I told you, worry not," I said, as he stood and wiped his eyes. "I still love you as my brother. And believe me…you will find your soul mate. I know it."

He gave me a wan smile. "I thank you, Tyrael. You truly are a marvellous elleth. I hope…that my brother comes to his senses and realises that you are one in a million."

He gave me one last, sad and embarrassed smile, and hurried off. I hung my head sadly, trying to release the tears that had been building up, but they would not come. I bit my lip in frustration. This truly was an awkward situation – one I had not expected to find myself in. What had brought all of this on? And…what had possessed Orophin to act in such a way? If Haldir ever found out, he would…

No, Haldir would not find out. I had to remain quiet, if I wanted my brother-in-law to remain in one piece. And if I wanted to remain in one piece.

I stood and began to walk away, my heart heavy. This trip was not turning out to be the break aunt Arwen had suggested to me. If anything, it was throwing skeletons out of our closets to hit everyone smack on the forehead. I dreaded what could happen next.

"Tyrael."

I turned, to see Haldir levelling me with a cool gaze. He was obviously still annoyed about our earlier argument. I returned the gaze as best as I could, trying not to think that only moments before, his brother had kissed me and declared his love for me.

Haldir's eyes widened slightly, noticing that I had been crying, and he swallowed carefully. "We have both said – and done – things that are…unnecessary…" He rubbed the back of his neck. "You seem to have had misconceptions about my intentions and reasoning…which I admit I am the one at fault about."

"If you were worried about harming the babe, you could have just told me," I said coldly. "Perhaps I could have told you that there were ways to…do things…without bringing about risk. And there are also ways to touch your wife without acting as though she has some contagious disease."

He flinched visibly. "Do you think that if I touched you with even a slight suggestion I would have been able to control myself?"

"As I just said, there are ways!" I hissed. "And besides, why would you need to control yourself? I obviously don't suit your requirements anymore."

Haldir looked positively shocked. I might have laughed if I weren't so upset and infuriated.

Ever the sharp one, he said, "You think I no longer think you beautiful? You think that I find you hideous now that you are bearing my child and laying the foundations for our family?!" He gave a humourless laugh. "Dear lord, Tyrael! Have you not seen yourself? Pregnancy agrees with you! Have you not seen how resplendent you look? It is a sheer force of will that keeps me from taking you right there in front of all of Mirkwood or Lórien!"

But…

"And you thought the best way to show it is to make me feel like a wretch?" I nearly screeched.

"I was a fool," Haldir growled back. "I realise that now. I only feared for your safety and our child's." His face grew grim, and he looked away. "My mother was pregnant. She was going to bear us a sister. This was after Celairiel, mind you. But…" He swallowed, and looked at his feet. "My father rough-handled her during the pregnancy. She lost the child. That was what propelled her to her choice to leave for the Grey Heavens."

I was speechless. "Haldir…"

"I did not want the same happening to you," he said quietly, looking me straight in the eye. "I apologise for not explaining to you. I have made an error just like the one before our wedding – one I had told myself never to make again. I feel foolish."

I felt guilt and weariness flood me. Our marriage was one complication after another. I opened my mouth to reply, but a noise caught both of our attention. We peered through the thick leaves of the trees to try and discern the ruckus.

Both Haldir and I cried out at the same time – we had seen Kalia run, had seen her pale flesh, her shaking body. It was obvious that she was deeply hurt and disturbed. It seemed that she was the one I held above all others, the one I loved the most, and I felt her heart breaking somewhere deep inside me.

My husband and I both forgot the tension that had been there not too long ago, and ran from our hiding place, facing Legolas full on. With him was that annoying little bint, Nessa. A small seed of understanding began to grow in my swollen belly, and my son kicked dolefully in response to my growing annoyance.

"What is the matter?" Legolas asked. He sounded half confused, half worried. He was hiding something. I didn't like the look on his face – it was something to be distrustful of. When he reached out, I stepped back instantly, drawing my eyebrows together, my eyes flashing. I was actually hurt to see a glint of fear in the prince's eyes – my eyes had that effect on people, but I had hoped that he had had enough sense not to react like others did. I was obviously a demon by any standard.

"What did you do to Kalia?" Haldir asked. His voice was it's deep, dark baritone that he used on duty – his face was darker than the bottom of the Nimrodel. Despite our many disputes, we were quite well connected, and sensing my unease, I felt his upper arm press against mine reassuringly. Haldir was just as concerned for the little elleth as I.

Legolas seemed to hunt for an explanation. But I received all the explanation I needed when he turned to face Nessa with all the guilt in Arda displayed on his face.

This was the prince I had respected. I had spoken to him in the kitchens, allowed myself to like him. I had approved of his and Kalia's relationship--had looked forward to being part of a family with him. And this…this was his gift to our family.

Perhaps I did have a demon within me. And it was this demon that made my eyes flash brighter than any wolf's as my hand snatched out, gripping his tunic. I lifted him a few inches from the ground, and his eyes widened slightly, as though only just realising my strength – oh, never mind the fact that I competed against the March Warden of Lórien in a contest and lasted longer than many MEN would have!

Yet, the fear in his eyes repelled me. I was no sadist – at least, not to those who had worked their way into my heart. I loved the prince as a friend, maybe even a brother if our good friendship had progressed without fault. I was angry, and still drained from my fights with Haldir and the encounter with Orophin. But, as much as I desired to make the prince pay, I could not stand to see the look in his eyes, and I sucked in a harsh breath, dropping him unceremoniously. The babe in my stomach gave some hearty, painful kicks, which I ignored as best as I could, settling for simply glaring at Legolas, as he straightened his tunic. I snarled at him, feeling particularly bestial. I had to protect my own. "She said you had grown distant – she did not mention that you had become a liar."

At first, he looked hurt by the barb, but then something within him snapped, and he glared back at me. "I will not have my integrity challenged by you, Tyrael."

He said my name as though it were poison. He said it the way a Lórien Elf would speak it. His eyes were full of meaning. What did he mean? Did he see me as the whore Rathborn had proclaimed me to be?

Haldir did not seem to notice the tension. "You are in danger of losing your wife before she is even yours to have, Legolas. Your apparent affections towards another do not sit well with her, or me." He crossed his arms, and I felt cold fingers walk up my spine. This could turn ugly. And, as skilled as Legolas was, he was outmatched by Haldir's size and experience – Haldir was older than the Mirkwood prince before him.

Legolas turned his fiery eyes to Haldir, mouth set in a twisted sneer. He seemed desperate to defend himself, and I could tell he was aiming below the belt. "I will not take criticism from Haldir of Lothlórien on how to keep a wife."

Haldir's brow furrowed in a dark expression, "What is that supposed to mean –"

A messenger tore through the leaves, looking put out at the sight of three riled-up Elves and another one looking like they wanted for all the world to simply curl up and die. "Your majesty?" He queried worriedly.

Legolas snarled, but turned to the messenger. "Yes?"

"It is the princess, sire."

I felt Haldir stir next to me, and I too paid closer attention to this rather scrawny Elf. I could have easily crushed him with one gentle embrace!

"What is the matter?" Nessa stepped forward, wringing her hands. She seemed to be worried – and despite the hatred for her that boiled in the pit of my stomach, I felt a little lighter – if not confused – that she seemed worried for Kalia.

"We cannot find her," the messenger replied hurriedly. "She was seen, running toward the southeast quadrant of the woods, sire."

It felt as though the babe fell right out of my womb. I had to look down to check that this wasn't so. I had heard of troubles with giant spiders sighted in that area. What if she ran into them? Was she armed? Without her bow, she would be helpless – she was awful at hand to hand, especially since she was so slight!

"How did she break through the line of guards?" Legolas asked, fear and shock tainting his voice. I couldn't have cared less about how he was feeling – my Kalia was in the woods…with beasts that could kill her without a second thought.

"We – we aren't sure, sire," the messenger said, stepping back in fear from the multiple expressions on all of our faces. "The pair that was watching the border are still unconscious…"

He was holding back! The idiot was dallying! Could he not tell there was so little time?

"And?" I prompted impatiently, and my old harsh, husky and deep drink-induced voice slammed into the messenger, bringing some shakes from him as he tried to avoid my demonic eyes as best as possible without being too impolite.

"And some suspicious tracks have been picked up near where they were found. We – we worry they might be the beasts."

I closed my eyes, the breath leaving my body. But a stir of the air alerted me to Legolas suddenly moving, and I reached out as fast as lightning and stopped him, hot waves of anger at this silly little boy of a prince spewing over my lips. "This is your fault," I hissed. "If anything happens to her –"

Haldir spoke up the first peep from him in some time. The thick, black anger quivering his voice said it all. "You will do nothing, you are pregnant," he said to me, and turned furious cerulean eyes to Legolas. "I, on the other hand –"

"I have no time for this, both of you," Legolas snapped, now very worried for the elleth whose heart he had snapped in two over his knee. He broke free of my grip and ran towards the palace. Almost instantly, the rest of us began running after him.

I thought I heard him utter an apology, but I couldn't be certain. Just as the others disappeared into the building, I froze. What was I doing, wasting time going to the palace? Kalia needed help, and she needed it now. The spiders were not just going to sit back and wait for us to arrive.

I glanced down at my belly, biting my lip. "What say you, child? Shall we save your aunt Kalia, before their time-wasting proves to be her undoing?"

As though replying, several harsh kicks juddered my stomach visibly, and I smiled. I turned quietly away from the palace, and moved off with deadly stealth acquired from years of stealing my grandfather's wines from years of being the toy of a local fiend.

I realised that I had no weapon but for my hands and the throwing daggers kept in my boots. I had never faced giant spiders before, and could only hope that it did not take heavy arms to defeat them. Yet…the way these Mirkwood Elves feared them did not bode well…

Just as I was beginning to despair, I saw a very welcome sight.

Laguna was sitting on the edge of a fountain, his head lent back so that the water would cascade over his face and down his dark hair. The moon shone on his face, lighting him up like a marble statue. He was in fact a beautiful Elf – but was too…distracted…to notice the elleths flocking around. He had all of his weapons with him. A grin split my face, and I waddled over to him, hoping that I would be on time to help Kalia.

"Laguna!"

He sat up with a gasp, snorting water. "L-Lady March Warden!" He wiped his eyes on his gauntlet – no doubt only succeeding to poke himself in the eye.

"Laguna, I must ask a favour of you," I said breathlessly. It was as though I could see the line of time as a candlewick, slowly burning down. "May I borrow some of your weapons?"

Laguna raised a surprised eyebrow. "Certainly, milady, but…why?" He scratched his head.

"I…Lady Kalia has gone into the southeast sector of this forest," I explained hastily. "She is in grave danger of spiders. I must go after her."

Laguna's eyes widened, and he glanced at my bump in worry, then, gritting his teeth, he said, "I will give you a weapon, but I will accompany you."

"You do not need to…"

"I wish to," he replied, standing, and handing me a sword. "I must protect my captain!" He gave me a salute and a rather drunken grin, which turn to embarrassment as one of his gauntlets fell off. He scrambled to put it back on, whilst I bit back laughter.

"Very well, warden," I grinned. "But we must be quick. Time grows thin, and I worry for her very much."

We had been walking through the woods for some time, and I was beginning to worry. There had been more trails that were very suspicious, and no sign to show that Kalia had kept a straight path. Every time I managed to track her for a bit, the trail would break off and become difficult.

I was beginning to despair, and ran a shaking hand through my hair, breathing deeply. I was so tense, so on alert that I felt like my whole body was going to spasm.

Damn Legolas. Damn him to Mordor.

"Do not worry, Lady March Warden," Laguna said gently. "I have faith in your abilities. You will find her."

I gave him a weak smile, still drained from the day's hideous events. I wanted it all over – I wanted Kalia back and happy, I wanted my child born and Haldir the Elf I once knew again. I wanted Orophin to no longer have notions of love for me.

That would be my ideal life. But then, nothing was ever ideal for me.

"I wish I had as much faith in my abilities as you, Laguna," I sighed. I looked around, frustrated. "Why in Elbereth's name does her track keep breaking off?!"

Laguna glanced around, his sky-blue eyes taking in the surroundings. The forest, although healthy, had an underlying un-healthiness, if you get my drift. As though some hidden force were plotting our demise. It didn't feel safe here, and every second I spent in the place, my fear for Kalia and myself and Laguna grew. Not to mention my poor son, trapped in my womb.

"The trees," I whispered then, glancing up. "The clever little witch is using the trees to disguise her trail!" I glanced at Laguna apologetically. "Um…could you…? I would do it myself, but…" I gestured to my belly.

Laguna saluted. "Of course! Allow me." With that, he put his bow away, and leapt gracefully into a nearby tree. After a few moments, he gave an affirmative.

That was how we scouted – Laguna helping lead from the trees, and me scouting on the ground. Kalia had been careful in trying not to be found, but she had obviously forgotten that I was captain of my own regiment, wife to one of the most renowned warriors in the world, and past drunken brawler…heh heh. Yet…not all of the tracking was done like that. She was skilful, I had to give her that. At some times…odd as it was, I had to rely on instinct alone. And intuition told me where to go. I soon tracked her deep into the heart of the southeast quadrant. And my heart dropped to my feet.

Kalia was in a clearing, surrounded by three giant spiders. She was a little bruised, and I could see some wounds that were bleeding, but superficial. She had been fighting them off with daggers. One spider already lay dead, a white-handled knife looking suspiciously like one of Legolas's prized knives was protruding from its gut. The other knife was still held firmly in Kalia's grip.

I was worried about her wounds - but I was more worried about the terrified expression on her face, and the stance of the spiders – they were preparing to pounce!

Almost instantly, I gestured to Laguna, and he pulled out his bow of the Galadhrim, and let off shots, startling the spiders and alerting them to new enemies. Quickly, I charged forward, pulling the sword from its resting place at my back and running at one of the spiders, bringing the blade down in an arc. Swordplay was something I had gotten particularly good at, after practicing with the Lórien brothers and even Lord Celeborn, the best swordsman there was. I was confident I could win – the only worry was protecting my child. I was taking a very heavy risk, I knew this – but I loved Kalia as my sister, and I was not about to let her die.

Kalia herself swung into action. She executed a very neat high kick to the alarmed spider, and jumped in the air to avoid the swipe it made with one of its eight legs. The way she moved was greatly improved – she had been training.

Laguna had given up on his bow – the spider was now too close to him for a long-distance weapon. Instead, he brought out twin knives, and began a duel with the beast.

I gasped as the spider's bulbous lower-body hit the back of my legs, and I stumbled forward, staying on my feet only with some fancy footwork (thanks to Kalia and her dance lessons). I spun, and swung the sword almost blindly, and gave a satisfied smirk as I heard a bestial cry of rage.

I could see Kalia flipping away from the spider as it got too close, dodging its attack, then running up whilst it was recovering and driving the knife into its eyes, producing roars of pain and fury.

I ducked another potential blow, being extra careful because the care of my child was at hand. As the spider reared up, I saw its exposed belly and swiped right through it. It curled up, screeching in horror, and I brought the sword down quickly, severing it in two. I gasped out, breathless. I had only a few minor cuts and bruises. No harm had come to my son.

Kalia ran from the spider and, once at a distance, flung the knife at the spider. It growled in anger, and I watched with pride as Kalia ran forward, jumping into a flying kick, her heel driving the knife into the spider's head, killing it instantly.

It fell to the ground, a mass of black and brown fur and limbs. I cringed. They really were quite ugly. I looked to Kalia, and she gave me a silent nod. A cry caught our attention.

We both turned and saw Laguna trapped, as the spider spun a web around him, spinning him in circles.

I quickly ran forward with my sword, as Kalia wrenched her knife from the spider's head and followed.

In one stroke, I severed the spider's body into two sections, putrid mauve blood squirting up into my face. I grimaced in disgust, watching it fall dead to the floor. I hated it when they bled on me.

Kalia had begun to cut the thick rope-like webbing from Laguna, and after I got over the initial disgust, I pulled my own dagger from the back of my boot and began slicing away as well.

When Laguna eventually fell out, to say that he was embarrassed would have been an understatement. It didn't help that Kalia and I had to cover our mouths to smother the laughter. But Laguna, ever the good sport, simply gave a mock glare and said, "I suppose this means that you need to focus with me more on sword and dagger artistry, Lady March Warden."

"I suppose it does," I nodded, shaking with silent laughter. "Can't have you being a spider's elevenses, now, can we?"

Kalia snorted, then gave an apologetic look to Laguna.

"I cannot decide which is worse," Laguna groaned. "Being vomited on by spider, or being vomited on by Muadeeb."

Both Kalia and I burst out laughing. I grinned and glanced at her. She glanced to me, and I saw her face sober before my very eyes. Tears rested there, and with one last, sad look to me, she turned and walked away, retrieving her other knife and sitting on a nearby log with her back to me.

My heart ached. I had to comfort her – I wasn't good at it, really, but I had to. I couldn't stand to see my Kalia hurt.

"Would you please leave us, Laguna?" I asked quietly, staring at Kalia's back as she sat upon the log solemnly.

Sensing that this was to be a private moment, Laguna nodded, and awkwardly ambled off, pulling bits of web from his dark hair and muttering to himself, kicking the body of the spider as he went past.

I sighed, and joined Kalia on the log, trying to think of something to say. I never was good at comforting people.

"You should not have come," Kalia said quietly. "You are with child – it could have been fatal!"

"I have confidence in my abilities," I drawled. "And besides – you mean much to me, Kalia. I could not wait for the others to gather their senses. It could have been too late. Seems I was right."

She sighed. "I suppose you know what…what happened?"

I curled my lip. "I could imagine," I said, anger grating my voice. "Legolas was quite the deer caught in the headlights, standing there with dear Nessa after you ran off. He looked guilty as sin."

Kalia started crying silently, biting her lip and lowering her head. "I knew it would happen," she said in a hoarse voice. "She has been too sweet, too willing to be around and help…why would someone who wanted him help him in a wedding to another? She was planning it and…she got what she wanted."

"Nay," I said. "I do not like Legolas much at all at this moment – no Elf should do that to his love. Yet, in the aftermath, he seemed genuinely sorry. As did Nessa. Both were eager to get you back as soon as they had heard you had fled."

"Most likely did not want my death on their hands," Kalia spat.

There was silence for a few moments, before I said, "Is that all that ails you, sister? Nessa? Or is there more? I believe you have kept things from me."

Kalia's eyes widened, before she took a deep breath. "Not much escapes you, does it? But then, you are Lady March Warden, wife of Haldir." I flinched, but she did not seem to notice. "Well…ever since I came here, things have not been right. I told myself I could deal with it, because I loved Legolas and longed to be his wife more than anything. I always have done. But the Mirkwood Elves were reluctant to accept me. I may be nobility, but…"

"They fear your eyes, your uniqueness," I put in for her quietly.

Kalia nodded tearfully. "They called me forest demon. Sent me abusive notes. Some even dared to spit in my path. I could not discern what I had done wrong – they did not want me marrying the prince. They accused me of putting a spell on him, enchanting him with some ridiculous power. They think I am a demon, a witch!"

I reached out and held her, feeling her body rock with the force of her sobs. I closed my eyes, her pain igniting my own. I felt for her – it was as though I was feeling my emotions and hers simultaneously.

"My poor Kalia. I knew you were unhappy," I sighed, holding her tightly. "I had hoped you were happier than I."

She sniffled. "Happier than you?"

"My eyes too earn trouble. Lórien Elves are naturally born with a superiority complex, it seems. The fact that my eyes are as they are furthers their low opinion of me. They sought to rebuild me into some sort of subservient wife, tried to dampen my spirit. Even insulted me when they knew Haldir would not hear, and would not even believe me." I bit my lip. "My life has not been good, Kalia. I fear that Haldir does not love me as much as he used to. Orophin loves me too much…"

Kalia gasped, but I chose to ignore it and continue on.

"…and now I am pregnant, and I am not fit to be a mother! Have you not seen me? I am a child myself. And now I have responsibility over a little life, when I can barely run mine properly without being scolded or making a terrible mistake of everything."

"Nay Tyrael, do not think like that!" Kalia gripped my hand. "You are simply so full of life, so boundless! You are different, but that is not a bad thing – it makes you unique! And because you are unique, they fear you, because they cannot understand you, cannot control you."

"Which applies to you as well," I smiled sadly. "Your kind words lighten a heavy heart, sweetling. I only wish I could do the same, but I am unused to comforting. I will be terrible as a mother…"

"You will not. I can see your children loving you, Tyrael – you will lighten up their lives, you will be able to communicate with them well because you yourself can be so childlike."

"I suppose I should take that as a compliment," I chuckled, truly feeling better. "And – did you say children? As in, plural?"

Kalia laughed.

"I should not be pregnant," I whispered. "It was too soon – but I wanted Haldir to be happy. I've only ever wanted to make him happy. But he only ever seems to be angry with me."

Kalia embraced me tightly. "Then he is foolish. But believe you me he loves you. More than you can tell."

"I appreciate your words very much," I said with a watery smile. "You're my best friend."

"And you're mine," Kalia replied, giving my shoulders a squeeze. And as she pulled away, I noticed that she looked at something over my shoulder. I turned, and was startled to see that though I hadn't heard them, a group of Elves including Haldir, Legolas, and Ada stood behind us.

I blinked, and my eyes met Haldir's.

In his body language, I saw nothing. But in his cerulean eyes, I saw a world of hurt and anger.