It had been eleven at night when Donna changed into her comfortable pajamas. "He had to be the first person I saw. It just had to be him." Folding her arms she shook her head and exhaled. When she closed her eyes, the memories from that night began drifting back in front of her, forming solid images.
THE PREVIOUS SUMMER
The moon was glowing brightly tonight; around her the purple clouds stood on a small distance away to form an almost mystic-like frame. Perhaps soon those clouds would drift away and uncover the stars to shine as brightly as the now full moon.
She crossed her legs as tightly as possible and as closely to her body as she could. Covering her eyes with her eyelids she wished to only enjoy the sweet smell of a cool summer air. As it traveled down to her lungs and then slowly back to finally exit through her nostrils, Donna smiled to that short but good sensation.
Eric had returned to college two days ago because of the huge amount of material he had to study whilst Donna decided to remain here at home for a few more days as she needed more time to enjoy her deserved vacation. College was behind her and now the painful search of jobs would follow. Before that came, the young redhead wanted to gather more strength from here. She had to admit that at times it seemed sad how closely she was still attached to Point Place. Donna knew that her new life, the one leading to boring adulthood required new beginnings and separation from so many things she had gotten attached to from her childhood. She spent long months and years away from here but somehow something was still drawing her back. Inside she wished that whatever that was, soon with time it would fall away or at least shrink to a size that it would be unnoticeable.
"Here." She heard a voice and opened her eyes to see a hand holding a can of beer.
"Thanks," Donna smiled and took the can. When opening it, she asked: "What did Jackie say?"
"Tomorrow would be fine," Hyde said and sat down next to her.
"Cool," Donna nodded and took a sip from her beer. She cocked an eyebrow at her friend. "Kelso isn't 'paying' is he?" she spoke with reserved warning.
"No, man. It's Jackie's treat this time."
"Good. 'Cause I don't want another mortifying experience like his famous dine and dash thing."
"Ah yeah," he chuckled.
"You had a good laugh then didn't you?" she told him.
"It was good torturing you two," he pointed at her with the can in his hand.
"But our revenge was even better." Donna raised her eyebrows and showed a large grin. "I swear, you and Kelso nearly killed each other when you ran to the toilet."
Hyde drank his beer. "Sweet memories."
"Still into the more dirty things are we?" she asked.
He chuckled. "What do you think?"
"And dangerous?"
Hyde only gave her a calm look but one which spoke a million words. His eyes always did that.
"Right. Why did I ask?" she threw her right arm into the air before collapsing it on her knee; had she done it any faster, her knee would have felt like a spike. "Something about you that will never die out," a satisfying smile appeared.
"Being a rebel is part of a young man, or young woman's," he glanced at her, "life. Otherwise it's almost like you don't exist."
"Um, maybe." Donna leaned back with her hands on the dark green grass. "So forever rebel in that case, right?"
"Yeah." He then turned his head to look at her. "What happened to you in that zone, man?" he asked her.
"What do you mean?" she smirked.
"You used to be one of the craziest people I knew. Now I barely notice that in you. Scary thing is that it's less and less noticeable each time I see you. What happened?"
"I'm growing up, Hyde. We all are," she told him.
"Yeah but you don't see me turn into the geriatric type, do you."
"Hey, I'm not old!" She laughed.
"You're sure acting like you are." His tone did not have a comical feel.
"That's not true."
"I happen to think that it is."
"I happen to think that it isn't."
"Friends usually warn friends not to screw up parts of their lives."
"You think that's what I'm doing?"
He didn't answer.
Donna gave a fake laugh. "Imagine that." Her voice was leaving the sympathetic gentleness. She gazed ahead, appearing annoyed. He could annoy her effortlessly. Somehow he knew which buttons to push every single time.
"Fine, I'm just telling you what I see," Hyde did the same.
"I am acting my age at least."
"What age? 80?"
"Hyde, shut up," she told him. A long and uncomfortable silence followed.
He sighed. She would make him open again. She always did that unconsciously and perhaps that is why he would avoid her so rigorously sometimes. Hyde did not wish to enter that scenario where Donna would actually become aware of it. "We've known each other since forever. And that wild side actually gave you a nice spark. I've missed that about you," he told her with deep honesty in his voice.
The wind had begun making small waves in the water, caressing it gently. But the wind would remain in its calm borders; it would wait for these two young people to talk in ease.
Her blue eyes turned slowly over to him. His back was facing her, so she couldn't see his face. "I'm still the same."
"You're a terrible liar, Donna."
"I'm not," she was quieter.
He finally turned around to face her fully. Putting the beer on a safe distance from him, he removed his sunglasses and uncovered his gentle blue eyes. They always made him look more vulnerable; perhaps that is why he wore those glasses so often. "You're a cool person, man. I don't want to see you grow old before your time like so many people our age do. It's not like you. And that's exactly what you're doing now. You're getting old."
Pushing herself up from the ground, she sat up with her hands resting helplessly between her crossed knees. "I'm not being old, Hyde, but I'm not a kid anymore. I'm still me."
"Well I have damn trouble recognizing you."
Her eyebrows arched sadly as she placed her right hand on his left arm. Although she was denying it, her heart was beginning to call to her from inside, confirming Hyde's words: she was getting older before her time.
"Maybe," she swallowed hard as her eyes were slowly unlocking a door inside his. "Maybe you don't know me so well then."
"If I didn't then I wouldn't be telling you this." He did not want to appear open but it appeared difficult before her like this. He wanted to convince her of what was happening with his best friend, and it would appear more difficult if he stood tough like before. She needed honesty.
Donna wanted to look away but her gaze had alarmingly become locked with Hyde's. She had trust in him because she knew him; respected him because she loved him and loved him because she respected him. "I came here to relax, Hyde. I didn't come for lectures."
"Does this sound like a lecture to you?" What she said nearly disappointed him.
"Eric likes me as I am."
"He likes you because you are becoming like him."
"Eric isn't boring," she said and then noticed the odd look he was giving her. "Alright, so maybe sometimes he is, but you cannot expect someone to be interesting 24 hours a day after so many years in a relationship."
"I'm beginning to think that maybe that relationship, at least lately..." he did not finish his sentence as he realized that this would sound like a harsh accusation.
"So now you're blaming Eric for what, in your opinion, is happening to me??" The annoyance grew. Too late.
"No, no I'm not," he said.
"Then what?" she stood up, crossing her arms.
Hyde stood up as well. "I don't know what I meant," he lied.
"You're a terrible liar now. Tell me."
"I'm not going to say anything because there isn't anything. He's my best friend and so are you and I love you guys, man."
"But you are blaming him." Her aggravation was easing up.
"I'm not. I can't do that."
"I'll repeat: then what?"
"You two do whatever you want but I have seen you being happier when you let that rebel inside become active. And I want you, need you to be happy because I love you, man."
Donna dropped her eyes on the ground when she heard him say, "I'm going to do something now, and I'll know where you stand if you react the way I'm... hoping you would."
Before Donna could look up, her lips were brushed against the warm and sugary taste of his skin. Her hands were instinctively ready to push him away when her mind, suddenly being overcome by the disturbing wave of delight, ordered them instead to remain on the rugged fabric of his t- shirt. Being unconsciously tamed by his scent she even took it that far by responding to the kiss.
The surreal moment lasted long. When it finally broke and they opened their eyes slowly, Donna swallowed hard once again and looked intensively in his eyes where she saw both regret and even disappointment. Realizing the wrongness of the moment which just passed she pushed herself away and became trapped in her sudden indecisiveness of whether to slap him and walk away or simply walk away. She did neither. "You're insane," Donna told him.
"But you aren't," he sighed and picked up his glasses. Putting them on, he waited for a reaction but when he didn't receive one he began walking away.
"What did you think you actually did with that?" she called to him.
"I proved my point, man." He stopped and turned around.
"Aha, and what did you expect me to have done?"
"Well if you were your... old self, you would have done the same thing you did when we were in Jackie's cabin."
"Slap you?"
"Yeah."
"And that proves that I'm this boring old person now? Because I didn't end it sooner, because I didn't slap you?"
He nodded in response.
Donna groaned. "That's ridiculous!" she collapsed her arm.
"To me it's not. Donna, man if you... no, never mind, forget I ever mentioned this."
"I can't forget it now!" She was feeling irritated towards him but involuntarily at herself as well.
"Why didn't you pull away the very second that I kissed you?" he raised his voice slightly.
"I don't know."
"You need to do some serious rethinking of your life, Donna. Yesterday when you were telling me what you were planning for your future, it seemed so boring, so unimaginative! So decayed! The way you're going, by the time you're forty, you'll be regretting a million things you wished you had done!"
"So am I supposed to feel guilty because you don't like my careful planning of the future?"
"Careful? Exactly, too careful! You don't live your life enough! You've become too chicken to let go."
"This isn't your life, you know!"
"It's not but I want to warn you before it's too late."
Donna was quiet for a while as she felt the pressure building up inside her, pushing behind her eyes for the salty liquid to appear. "Why do you give a shit??"
"I give a shit because you're an important person to me, man. Because I love you and because I can't just stand aside and let you make a gigantic mistake of keeping your life behind brick walls and end up regretting it every single day!"
His words were burring themselves inside her because he was right, but she did not want to admit that. The unreleased tears were already beginning to affect her breathing, choking her.
"Marry Forman. I don't care as long as it makes you happy! But do more than just marriage and finding a boring desk job! You deserve more!"
"I'm fine as I am! I don't need more advice! And it seems to me that you're the one who should listen to your words and not me!"
There was silence.
"I've been doing that ever since I can remember. I know how short life is and I'm living it without regrets... you on the other hand... you're becoming old."
"Shut up! You really don't know me!" The tears began falling. "I'm not as stupid as to not know how to arrange my own life!" she placed her hand on her forehead and lowered her head as her eyes closed.
Hearing her painful sobs, Hyde sighed and slowly approached her. When he stood in front of her, he placed his hands gently on her shoulders and spoke softly: "I just want you to be happy."
She pushed herself away again and shouted at him: "I am happy! And that... kiss! It was completely unnecessary! It was stupid!" Her rational thinking was beginning to get clouded by the growing confusion and fear. When she saw him trying to approach her again she took a step back. "Stay away from me!" she yelled and ran away, leaving Hyde standing there by the lake with the growing howling of the wind.
THE PRESENT
Taking a comfortable position on her bed, Donna watched the night sky yet again. The moon was barely visible tonight. It hadn't been only that moment itself which made her avoid her return to Point Place but rather the consequences. "What are you doing to yourself?" she whispered. Perhaps they should talk. Perhaps the idiotic stubbornness and egoism were only getting in the way of continuing her good relationship with her friend. And Hyde has always been one of her best friends. Perhaps it was time for the defenses to fall?