AN: This is a HP fanfic with a plot borrowed from Friends. So if you recognise the title you should already know what's going on, however the actual Friends part doesn't come into play until about half way through because I've had to introduce the story. There is also some character and plot artistic licence but stick with it.
IMPORTANT NOTICE: This is not, I repeat NOT, what I think actually happened behind the scenes of OotP but it's the only place where this story would fit. On the other hand I do think there's something to the rumour of Ron & Hermione already going out in the fifth book.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or Friends. Some- ok a lot- of the dialogue comes directly from the HP fifth book and Friends episodes: The one with all the Kips, All The Resolutions, Chandler's Work Laugh and last, but defiantly not least, Where Everybody Finds Out.
Oh, and I'm only saying all of that once so the disclaimer goes for every chapter.
Harry Potter and the One Where Everybody Finds Out
(To the friends theme tune)
So no one told you life was gonna be this way, [four claps]
Voldemort, lessons taught, at death's door every day.
Been through hell and it's only the fifth year,
People dead, fights between friends and the end is drawing near, but
We'll be reading you,
'Cause they really are great books.
Hope the sixth comes soon,
With the films you must keep up.
Let this fic be good,
And please don't sue.
"Ron I've had enough of this!" shouted a very angry and slightly red-faced Hermione. It was the day of Harry's arrival at Grimmauld Place and spending so much time alone together with Ron had been slowly driving her crazy- not least because she'd had a crush on him since last year. Of course, if she was being honest with herself she may have realised that it was way more than a crush and had certainly started before last year.
"I don't even understand what you're angry at me for!" yelled back Ron. After being separated from Hermione for the first part of the year and after the Yule Ball Incident he'd come to the startling realisation that he fancied his best friend (Something that's been fairly obvious to the rest of the world since the whole slugs and kill with bare hands thing). Now he going crazy by being with her all the time and never being able to actually do anything about it.
"You have no idea that your protectiveness is driving me insane!?" she shouted incredulously.
Ron gulped; he'd kind of hoped that she hadn't noticed. "What protectiveness?" he asked innocently.
Her voice began to steadily rise, "I don't know, Ron, maybe it's the way you wont let me go into a room by myself, maybe it's the way you wont let me walk up the stairs without a guard, maybe it's the way you wont let me leave this bloody house without checking who's with me or what time I'll get back!"
"Merlin's beard Hermione, you swore."
"Well that's just how angry I am with you. So explain yourself. Now!"
Ron thought to himself contemplating how much to tell her. He decided on just enough to keep her off his back. "Right. Okay, look...."
"Ron just spit it out for heavens sake!"
"Fine! Fine I'll tell you!" All ideas of censuring what he was going to say left as the anger came. "I'm crazy about you okay!" Hermione stood there stunned, "don't look so surprised it's been obvious since that bloody ball.
I care about all of my friends and right now one of them is sending vicious owls to bite chunks out of my hand for not telling him information that, to be honest, I'd quite like to know myself."
He took a deep breath. He'd told her this much so he might as well dig the hole deeper in the hope it would swallow him up and he wouldn't have to see the rejection and pity in her face that was sure to be there. That was if he ever got the confidence to look her in the eyes.
"So I need to have some control back." He continued, "We've got no responsibilities except for cleaning and that's one thing- the one thing I can protect you from. I don't want anything to happen to you, I couldn't cope..." His voice died in his throat as he realised how much he'd said. He was about to try and take it back, call it a joke, when Hermione walked over and took her hand in his.
"I never knew you felt that way," she spoke softly.
"Yeah well. I'm sorry I said anything, it's obvious you don't feel the same way." He was stopped by Hermione's fingers on his lips.
"I think there are some things you need to know before you start taking back everything you just said." Ron stood with his eyes glued onto the floor but Hermione moved those fingers on his lips to under his chin and forced eye contact. "One, I can take care of my self okay," he merely nodded, "two, that was the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me and three, you're not the only one who was obvious at that ball." Ron's eyes widened in surprise.
"You mean that-"
This time he was silenced by a kiss. Their lips met briefly and they both pulled away quickly not sure what to do next.
"What happens now?" Hermione asked.
"Aren't you the one who usually has the answers?" Ron joked. Hermione merely glared at him but some of the tension was released from the room. "Are we, y'know, together now?
"I don't know. Are we?"
Ron's eyes met hers, "I'd like to think so."
"I'd like to think so too," Hermione smiled. The both stood with stupid lovesick looks on their faces when the door began to open and a teenage boy with green eyes and messy black hair entered the room cautiously.
Hermione leapt at him, "HARRY! Ron, he's here, Harry's here! We didn't hear you arrive! Oh, how are you? Are you all right? Have you been furious with us? I bet you have, I know our letters were useless- but we couldn't tell you anything, Dumbledore made us swear we wouldn't, oh, we've got so much to tell you...."
............................................................................................................
That night after Mrs Weasley had checked they were in bed two people couldn't drop off to sleep. Ron made his way downstairs to the kitchen for a drink, watching out for the screeching painting and the horrid umbrella stand on his way downstairs. When he got there he found he wasn't the only one up past midnight.
"Hi Hermione," he spoke quietly.
She jumped in surprise but smiled when she saw who it was, "Hi."
"Well today was...."
"Interesting?"
"Yep that'll do."
Suddenly Hermione slumped in a seat at the table and rested her head against the cool wood, "What are we going to do?"
Ron looked at her slightly confused.
"You heard him 'You've still been together' that's what he said- so jealous of being left out. I wasn't sure how he'd react to...us, and now, oh I don't know what to do."
Ron drew up a chair and put his arms around her, "I don't know how Harry would react either but do you want to... end this?" his stomach churned at the thought.
"No. No, I don't think I could cope with us just being friends any more."
"Me neither. So what do we do?"
"I suppose we could..." Hermione began.
"What?"
"We could keep it to ourselves. I mean we could just not tell him. At least not straight away."
"That means nobody knowing about us. You realise that don't you?"
"Yes," she whispered, "I don't like doing this but I don't know what else would work."
"Thinking about it I doubt we'd make an announcement anyway. Probably jinx it."
They both smiled. "Ron, knowing our, for lack of a better word, colourful relationship, this will end in a week."
He leaned in and kissed her lightly on the lips, "I'm not sure if I'll let that happen."
............................................................................................................
The new couple kept it quiet at the house where there were too many people to get any alone time together. They'd also agreed that Harry was always to be their priority so it wasn't until the train ride to school that they'd had any chance to do anything like they would in a normal relationship.
They were about to board the train when Harry commented on the carriages.
"We're – well – Ron and I are supposed to go into the prefect carriage," Hermione said awkwardly.
"It's a pain going down there, I'd rather – but we have to – I mean, I'm not enjoying it, I'm not Percy." Ron finished defiantly.
"I know your not," said Harry and he grinned. Ron smiled back as he and Hermione left him with Ginny.
"I feel bad now," said Ron to Hermione on the way to the prefect meeting.
"I know what you mean, but we're prefects, it's not going to be the same as last year," she looked up at him her eyes full of joy, "Ron we're prefects!"
Ron smiled at the way she could get so excited about more responsibility. "I know we've got this meeting and everything but afterwards do you fancy spending some time together," he asked raising his eyebrow suggestively.
Hermione easily joined in, "I'm sure we'll be able to find some time to do something along those lines."
"Really."
"Sure why not." Then she slipped into planning mode, "But we have to make sure we get back to Harry reasonably quickly, someone's bound to notice if the Gryfindor prefects take longer than any others."
"How about we just say that you wanted to do a bit more work?"
"What you're saying that me being a bookworm is a good thing now?"
"It has its uses."
Hermione hit him lightly as they entered the prefect's compartment.
............................................................................................................
The meeting had been dull and boring. The only good thing being that Ron could hold Hermione's hand under the table without anyone noticing, which turned out to be a blessing when they found out who the Slytherin prefects were.
"Oh look it the mudblood and the weasel," Malfoy hissed quietly, not loud enough to attract the attention of the head girl and boy, "What no Potter to hold your hand? Well I'd watch your back from now on, that is if you learnt anything from the chamber of secrets."
"Shut up Malfoy. Why don't you go join your father and get a mask to cover that ferret face of yours," Hermione replied coolly while she could feel that Ron was about to explode beside her.
Although the argument was stopped from going any further by a look from the head boy Pansy was quite happy to continue it after the meeting had finished and everyone was heading out, "So Granger planning on any more love potions this year? Or is the one on Krum still working fine?"
Ron retorted protectively, it was second nature to him by now, "Pansy if the best you can do is Malfoy then if Hermione were single she'd still be better than you."
"Standing up for your girlfriend are you. I wouldn't hope for much in the way of presents Granger or Weasel would have to sell off those lovely dress robes from last year," Malfoy smirked.
Hermione had had enough and pushed Ron out of the room quickly before he did something stupid. They managed to find an empty compartment probably vacated for a short time while students visited their friends.
"Why the hell did you push me out of there!?" yelled Ron.
"What would you murdering Malfoy achieve?"
"Well I'd be saving countless future lives for a start."
Hermione was trying to stay calm but it was becoming more and more difficult, "So should I have just stood there and let you tell more of our secrets?"
"What?"
"'If Hermione was single' Ron. You said 'if'. We're just lucky Malfoy wasn't listening too closely and just went for his usual banter."
Ron had calmed down now, ashamed of what he'd let slip. "I'm sorry."
"I know."
He looked around him at the empty room, the sides of his mouth turning into a grin, "Well it looks like we're alone."
"Yes. So what?" Hermione teased.
"This is what." He leaned in and bought their lips together. Still fuelled by the conflict with Malfoy their kisses became long and passionate, Hermione fell back onto one of the benches and Ron quickly tumbled on top of her.
Meanwhile, after the Stinksap catastrophe, as Harry hadn't been in the best of moods, Neville had disappeared to the bathroom. While on route he thought he'd say hello to Seamus and Dean and had some idea of which compartment they were in. Making his way up the train he came to the likely looking door and slid it open.
"Hi guys I-"but whatever he was going to say was soon forgotten as he saw the sight in front of him. Walking in on strangers getting off with each other was embarrassing but seeing your friends could scar you for life.
Ron jumped up as soon as he'd heard the door. Not really wanting to turn around he forced him self to see who'd caught them. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Neville. Maybe something could be salvaged from this mess. Hermione just sat on the seat with her head in her hands.
"Erm- hi Ron- I didn't mean to," Neville stumbled, he turned to go when he realised who the female was in the room, "Hermione?"
"Look Neville-"Ron started.
"You- and her. I mean this is unbelievable, great, but unbelievable. We never thought you two would actually work it out. When? How? When?"
Ron smiled, "I think you said that."
"I'm sorry about this," Neville grinned back nervously
Hermione spoke up now she'd had chance to regain her composure, "It's okay, it was our fault we should have been more careful."
"It began during the holidays," explained Ron, "we haven't told anyone because we don't want to make it a big deal."
"But it is a big deal!"
"How do you think Harry would react?"
Neville thought for a moment, "Yeah you're right you might want to wait a while before telling him."
"So do you think you could keep this to yourself?"
He saw the desperation in their faces and sighed, "Fine but I don't feel completely comfortable with this."
"Thank you Neville," said Hermione, she stood up and faced him, "Why don't you head back. Believe it or not Ron and me do actually have to do rounds." Ron put his arm around her shoulders a grin on his face as he looked down at her.
"Okay but don't be too long." Neville laughed and he left the new couple.
"Well that could have gone worse," sighed Ron.
"We're going to have to be a lot more careful," Hermione agreed.
............................................................................................................
IMPORTANT NOTICE: This is not, I repeat NOT, what I think actually happened behind the scenes of OotP but it's the only place where this story would fit. On the other hand I do think there's something to the rumour of Ron & Hermione already going out in the fifth book.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or Friends. Some- ok a lot- of the dialogue comes directly from the HP fifth book and Friends episodes: The one with all the Kips, All The Resolutions, Chandler's Work Laugh and last, but defiantly not least, Where Everybody Finds Out.
Oh, and I'm only saying all of that once so the disclaimer goes for every chapter.
Harry Potter and the One Where Everybody Finds Out
(To the friends theme tune)
So no one told you life was gonna be this way, [four claps]
Voldemort, lessons taught, at death's door every day.
Been through hell and it's only the fifth year,
People dead, fights between friends and the end is drawing near, but
We'll be reading you,
'Cause they really are great books.
Hope the sixth comes soon,
With the films you must keep up.
Let this fic be good,
And please don't sue.
"Ron I've had enough of this!" shouted a very angry and slightly red-faced Hermione. It was the day of Harry's arrival at Grimmauld Place and spending so much time alone together with Ron had been slowly driving her crazy- not least because she'd had a crush on him since last year. Of course, if she was being honest with herself she may have realised that it was way more than a crush and had certainly started before last year.
"I don't even understand what you're angry at me for!" yelled back Ron. After being separated from Hermione for the first part of the year and after the Yule Ball Incident he'd come to the startling realisation that he fancied his best friend (Something that's been fairly obvious to the rest of the world since the whole slugs and kill with bare hands thing). Now he going crazy by being with her all the time and never being able to actually do anything about it.
"You have no idea that your protectiveness is driving me insane!?" she shouted incredulously.
Ron gulped; he'd kind of hoped that she hadn't noticed. "What protectiveness?" he asked innocently.
Her voice began to steadily rise, "I don't know, Ron, maybe it's the way you wont let me go into a room by myself, maybe it's the way you wont let me walk up the stairs without a guard, maybe it's the way you wont let me leave this bloody house without checking who's with me or what time I'll get back!"
"Merlin's beard Hermione, you swore."
"Well that's just how angry I am with you. So explain yourself. Now!"
Ron thought to himself contemplating how much to tell her. He decided on just enough to keep her off his back. "Right. Okay, look...."
"Ron just spit it out for heavens sake!"
"Fine! Fine I'll tell you!" All ideas of censuring what he was going to say left as the anger came. "I'm crazy about you okay!" Hermione stood there stunned, "don't look so surprised it's been obvious since that bloody ball.
I care about all of my friends and right now one of them is sending vicious owls to bite chunks out of my hand for not telling him information that, to be honest, I'd quite like to know myself."
He took a deep breath. He'd told her this much so he might as well dig the hole deeper in the hope it would swallow him up and he wouldn't have to see the rejection and pity in her face that was sure to be there. That was if he ever got the confidence to look her in the eyes.
"So I need to have some control back." He continued, "We've got no responsibilities except for cleaning and that's one thing- the one thing I can protect you from. I don't want anything to happen to you, I couldn't cope..." His voice died in his throat as he realised how much he'd said. He was about to try and take it back, call it a joke, when Hermione walked over and took her hand in his.
"I never knew you felt that way," she spoke softly.
"Yeah well. I'm sorry I said anything, it's obvious you don't feel the same way." He was stopped by Hermione's fingers on his lips.
"I think there are some things you need to know before you start taking back everything you just said." Ron stood with his eyes glued onto the floor but Hermione moved those fingers on his lips to under his chin and forced eye contact. "One, I can take care of my self okay," he merely nodded, "two, that was the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me and three, you're not the only one who was obvious at that ball." Ron's eyes widened in surprise.
"You mean that-"
This time he was silenced by a kiss. Their lips met briefly and they both pulled away quickly not sure what to do next.
"What happens now?" Hermione asked.
"Aren't you the one who usually has the answers?" Ron joked. Hermione merely glared at him but some of the tension was released from the room. "Are we, y'know, together now?
"I don't know. Are we?"
Ron's eyes met hers, "I'd like to think so."
"I'd like to think so too," Hermione smiled. The both stood with stupid lovesick looks on their faces when the door began to open and a teenage boy with green eyes and messy black hair entered the room cautiously.
Hermione leapt at him, "HARRY! Ron, he's here, Harry's here! We didn't hear you arrive! Oh, how are you? Are you all right? Have you been furious with us? I bet you have, I know our letters were useless- but we couldn't tell you anything, Dumbledore made us swear we wouldn't, oh, we've got so much to tell you...."
............................................................................................................
That night after Mrs Weasley had checked they were in bed two people couldn't drop off to sleep. Ron made his way downstairs to the kitchen for a drink, watching out for the screeching painting and the horrid umbrella stand on his way downstairs. When he got there he found he wasn't the only one up past midnight.
"Hi Hermione," he spoke quietly.
She jumped in surprise but smiled when she saw who it was, "Hi."
"Well today was...."
"Interesting?"
"Yep that'll do."
Suddenly Hermione slumped in a seat at the table and rested her head against the cool wood, "What are we going to do?"
Ron looked at her slightly confused.
"You heard him 'You've still been together' that's what he said- so jealous of being left out. I wasn't sure how he'd react to...us, and now, oh I don't know what to do."
Ron drew up a chair and put his arms around her, "I don't know how Harry would react either but do you want to... end this?" his stomach churned at the thought.
"No. No, I don't think I could cope with us just being friends any more."
"Me neither. So what do we do?"
"I suppose we could..." Hermione began.
"What?"
"We could keep it to ourselves. I mean we could just not tell him. At least not straight away."
"That means nobody knowing about us. You realise that don't you?"
"Yes," she whispered, "I don't like doing this but I don't know what else would work."
"Thinking about it I doubt we'd make an announcement anyway. Probably jinx it."
They both smiled. "Ron, knowing our, for lack of a better word, colourful relationship, this will end in a week."
He leaned in and kissed her lightly on the lips, "I'm not sure if I'll let that happen."
............................................................................................................
The new couple kept it quiet at the house where there were too many people to get any alone time together. They'd also agreed that Harry was always to be their priority so it wasn't until the train ride to school that they'd had any chance to do anything like they would in a normal relationship.
They were about to board the train when Harry commented on the carriages.
"We're – well – Ron and I are supposed to go into the prefect carriage," Hermione said awkwardly.
"It's a pain going down there, I'd rather – but we have to – I mean, I'm not enjoying it, I'm not Percy." Ron finished defiantly.
"I know your not," said Harry and he grinned. Ron smiled back as he and Hermione left him with Ginny.
"I feel bad now," said Ron to Hermione on the way to the prefect meeting.
"I know what you mean, but we're prefects, it's not going to be the same as last year," she looked up at him her eyes full of joy, "Ron we're prefects!"
Ron smiled at the way she could get so excited about more responsibility. "I know we've got this meeting and everything but afterwards do you fancy spending some time together," he asked raising his eyebrow suggestively.
Hermione easily joined in, "I'm sure we'll be able to find some time to do something along those lines."
"Really."
"Sure why not." Then she slipped into planning mode, "But we have to make sure we get back to Harry reasonably quickly, someone's bound to notice if the Gryfindor prefects take longer than any others."
"How about we just say that you wanted to do a bit more work?"
"What you're saying that me being a bookworm is a good thing now?"
"It has its uses."
Hermione hit him lightly as they entered the prefect's compartment.
............................................................................................................
The meeting had been dull and boring. The only good thing being that Ron could hold Hermione's hand under the table without anyone noticing, which turned out to be a blessing when they found out who the Slytherin prefects were.
"Oh look it the mudblood and the weasel," Malfoy hissed quietly, not loud enough to attract the attention of the head girl and boy, "What no Potter to hold your hand? Well I'd watch your back from now on, that is if you learnt anything from the chamber of secrets."
"Shut up Malfoy. Why don't you go join your father and get a mask to cover that ferret face of yours," Hermione replied coolly while she could feel that Ron was about to explode beside her.
Although the argument was stopped from going any further by a look from the head boy Pansy was quite happy to continue it after the meeting had finished and everyone was heading out, "So Granger planning on any more love potions this year? Or is the one on Krum still working fine?"
Ron retorted protectively, it was second nature to him by now, "Pansy if the best you can do is Malfoy then if Hermione were single she'd still be better than you."
"Standing up for your girlfriend are you. I wouldn't hope for much in the way of presents Granger or Weasel would have to sell off those lovely dress robes from last year," Malfoy smirked.
Hermione had had enough and pushed Ron out of the room quickly before he did something stupid. They managed to find an empty compartment probably vacated for a short time while students visited their friends.
"Why the hell did you push me out of there!?" yelled Ron.
"What would you murdering Malfoy achieve?"
"Well I'd be saving countless future lives for a start."
Hermione was trying to stay calm but it was becoming more and more difficult, "So should I have just stood there and let you tell more of our secrets?"
"What?"
"'If Hermione was single' Ron. You said 'if'. We're just lucky Malfoy wasn't listening too closely and just went for his usual banter."
Ron had calmed down now, ashamed of what he'd let slip. "I'm sorry."
"I know."
He looked around him at the empty room, the sides of his mouth turning into a grin, "Well it looks like we're alone."
"Yes. So what?" Hermione teased.
"This is what." He leaned in and bought their lips together. Still fuelled by the conflict with Malfoy their kisses became long and passionate, Hermione fell back onto one of the benches and Ron quickly tumbled on top of her.
Meanwhile, after the Stinksap catastrophe, as Harry hadn't been in the best of moods, Neville had disappeared to the bathroom. While on route he thought he'd say hello to Seamus and Dean and had some idea of which compartment they were in. Making his way up the train he came to the likely looking door and slid it open.
"Hi guys I-"but whatever he was going to say was soon forgotten as he saw the sight in front of him. Walking in on strangers getting off with each other was embarrassing but seeing your friends could scar you for life.
Ron jumped up as soon as he'd heard the door. Not really wanting to turn around he forced him self to see who'd caught them. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Neville. Maybe something could be salvaged from this mess. Hermione just sat on the seat with her head in her hands.
"Erm- hi Ron- I didn't mean to," Neville stumbled, he turned to go when he realised who the female was in the room, "Hermione?"
"Look Neville-"Ron started.
"You- and her. I mean this is unbelievable, great, but unbelievable. We never thought you two would actually work it out. When? How? When?"
Ron smiled, "I think you said that."
"I'm sorry about this," Neville grinned back nervously
Hermione spoke up now she'd had chance to regain her composure, "It's okay, it was our fault we should have been more careful."
"It began during the holidays," explained Ron, "we haven't told anyone because we don't want to make it a big deal."
"But it is a big deal!"
"How do you think Harry would react?"
Neville thought for a moment, "Yeah you're right you might want to wait a while before telling him."
"So do you think you could keep this to yourself?"
He saw the desperation in their faces and sighed, "Fine but I don't feel completely comfortable with this."
"Thank you Neville," said Hermione, she stood up and faced him, "Why don't you head back. Believe it or not Ron and me do actually have to do rounds." Ron put his arm around her shoulders a grin on his face as he looked down at her.
"Okay but don't be too long." Neville laughed and he left the new couple.
"Well that could have gone worse," sighed Ron.
"We're going to have to be a lot more careful," Hermione agreed.
............................................................................................................